//------------------------------// // A Game of Croquet // Story: Lauren's Wonderland // by Hazel_Hester777 //------------------------------// Laruen took a stroll around to find a certain duo or the Queen in the Garden, but seemed a bit like a maze in there, really. She eventually found somepony, but it was either of the three she was looking for. They were different Bronies and Pegasisters, whether pony, Equestria Girl, or Human in form. And they were all painting at a rosebush. The white roses growing on it were being painted red by them carefully. From their expressions, it was obvious they were afraid. “Rape Train, don’t slosh any paint on me, you perve!” a skeleton unicorn yelled at a giant Rainbow head with a perverted face. “Just because I write a lot of clop doesn’t mean that I want to paint some on your rump to make you look like a girl with a period!” the head yelled back “Hey!” another Pegasister growled. She was pale pink and her eyes were green. She was a Pegasus. Her mane was red with white markings and a hint of black underneath. “No offense” “Let’s not forget: He was the one who got into the most trouble than the rest of us!” A Brony in a black leather shirt pointed out. A Pegasister who resembled Fluttershy, but with a different manestyle chimed in. “Can we please just focus on the roses? If the Queen catches us…” she then motioned a person or pony slitting her throat and her dying. It was enough to make the others cringed from fear, and paint faster. But when they heard something, they turned around to see Lauren watching them. They all looked very fearful and put away their brushes and cans. Right then, they all bowed low to Lauren. Lauren was curious enough as to what was going on. She came close to the Bronies and Pegasister and asked, “Excuse me, but why are you painting those roses red?” They all got up at once. The skeleton unicorn was the first to speak. “Well, Miss, we were supposed to have planted a red rose bush here. But I’m afraid that since one of us was too busy going gross…” he glared at the perverted Rainbow head. “…he mixed it up and it grew. If the Queen catches a sight of it, she will have us terminated. We each are on our last chance here as whom we are, and if we goof up, we’re done for” Lauren nodded. “My name’s Skelepone, by the way. This giant Rainbow head pervert is Rape Train Express” he pointed to the now-angry head. “The red-maned mare over there is Hazel Bell” “A true friend is the one who sees the pain in your eyes, while others believe your smile” she said. “The guy in the leather shirt and Human form is TheCasualThatCould” “Don’t touch me, you filthy casual!” he yelled. “Sorry, he’s a little tense at times. Anyway, and that one over there who looks like Fluttershy with a ponytail is Austrian-Fluttershy” The Pegasister waved timidly. “Anyway, what’s your name? You seem new here” “Well, I’m…” “The Queen! The Queen is coming!” Hazel Bell cried as she flew down from the high hedge. Right on the spot, the Bronies and Pegasisters bowed low with their faces almost touching the ground. Lauren wondered why they all seemed so frightened. Then again, she herself would be scared if she were to disappoint royalty. She heard steps from behind and looked around to see who the Queen was. She was shocked to see it. First came were different Bronies and Pegasisters with crowns. From the looks of it, Lauren recognized them from a while ago when Hazel and Hester showed her around the YouTube and Video section of this realm. They were the leaders of those who were in those sites. Among them were TheLiving Tombstone and Mic the Microphone, rulers of the Music section, as well as Sethisto, ruler of the blogger section. Behind the King and Queen was a figure that looked like Alicorn Twilight, but the outfit they wore made it clear that they were the Knave. And beside him, nodding to everything in fear was Twilight Sparkle herself. Then finally came the main King and Queen. The king looked like Butterscotch, but in armor and wearing a crown. Beside him was the Queen. Lauren recognized her immediately. She was the Alicorn version of herself that she once drew. She had the manestyle of Celestia and Luna. She wore an elegant crown on top of her head. She was dressed in royal robes, and the centerpiece on the collar area was the same symbol of the door Lauren opened earlier; red bottle of ink and a quill, beside a crown. “My, we have a newcomer! Twilight, why didn’t you tell me?” she asked the Alicorn. “I’m sorry, Queen Faust” the Alicorn nodded low. “She was too busy getting a fan, I believe” The Knave sneered. “Hush now, Typevader” she then turned to Lauren. “What’s your name, child?” “My name is Lauren, your Majesty” she said politely while bowing low. Even though she bowed to a Creation only she was able to make, she just wanted to be on the safe side. Things aren’t always what they seem here and she learned that from her day spent so far here. “And what are you doing with these who are on their last straw?” Queen Faust pointed to the Bronies and Pegasisters who were still bowing in fear. Don’t be afraid, you made her; a familiar voice rang in Lauren’s head. Hester? How are you in my head? Lauren asked mentally. The same of how I tend to be in Hazel’s head. “Child?” Queen Faust snapped her out of the conversation. “How should I know?” Lauren crossed her arms without fear. At that, Queen Faust began to glare at Lauren. Rage and fury in her eyes. From the first impression, Lauren could already tell that she was short-tempered. “OFF WITH HER HEAD! OFF WITH…” she declared in a loud voice. That line was enough to make Lauren feel like Alice from that children’s story. The King held her back, and he took great consideration with the young newbie. “My Queen, please consider her. She’s new and clearly may be possibly only a child” “Hush, Knighty!” “But please. Remember when you sent away that other child about two or three years ago just because they laughed? You made them leave even though they weren’t truly old enough to know who rules this realm. Please don’t make the same mistake with one who just got here” Queen Faust glared at Lauren. She did remember what happened to that child. It was a horrible mistake that they lost a follower. She wished not to have a repetition. And although Lauren seemed like a grown woman rather than a child, she had to consider she just arrived today. In the end, Faust sighed. She then turned to Typevader and Twilight, “She’s safe for being new here” Typevader nodded and Twilight took it down. To the other Bronies and Pegasisters, who were still bowing from fear, she said, “Rise” They all did, quivering from fear. She then noticed a drop of red on Skelepone. She knew that it was not blood. She went for a closer look. Skelepone quivered from what she already saw. She wiped the drop off his chest and inspected it closely. “Skelepone, why do you have paint on yourself?” Faust questioned him. “I…don’t’ know, your Majesty” he lied, trying to hide fear. “My Queen!” Living Tombstone called out. He pointed to the rosebush with a face that resembled a lookout. She approached him and checked the roses. All the Bronies and Pegasisters were scared if she found out. Taking a closer look, she realized that the red on them wasn’t their natural color. She also noticed the droplets on them, and there wasn’t any rain or mist today. She touched one of them, and when she pulled back, her hoof showed that it was red paint. “I see!” she glared at them. “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!” Right at that, the other Bronies and Pegasisters who were behind Twilight and Typevader nodded. The ones who were Unicorns immediately levitated them in the air. They squirmed in the magic’s grasp. Right then, they were levitated away from the scene. Lauren assumed they were being lead to the Executioner. She could still make out their final conversation. “This is all your fault, perve!” Skelepone yelled at Rape Train Express. “Well, how was I supposed to know that there was paint on you?” “You did!” TheCasualThatCould yelled. “You knew all along!” Hazel Bell and Austrian-Fluttershy just kept quiet, keeping a straight face. “Oh shut up, you perve!” “Don’t tell me to shut up!” And that was the last Lauren ever saw of them. The next thing that happened was that they were thrown, with magic, away. She swore that she was able to hear something disturbing. “Can you play croquet?” Queen Faust asked Lauren, as if trying to get her mind off witnessing the removal of her acquaintances. Lauren nodded. “Yes” “Come on, then!” Queen Faust gestured for Lauren to walk with her. The Equestria Girl just followed suit. She was just afraid if she didn’t. “Right timing for you to come here!” Twilight said as she approached Lauren. “It’s a very fine day, isn’t it?” “I guess so. What happens to those who are put under Execution?” “Kind of obvious about what happens. They get sent to Tirek for Execution. He chops their heads off, and they awake in their real-world counterparts, either it’s early in their place or not. They can’t really return to that part of the realm as that form anymore. To get back, they have to be a member of a website in reality” “So, it’s like the lives we lead here in this realm are like a reflection of our lives in…” “GET TO YOUR PLACES!” Queen Faust yelled. Right at that, everyone present was in total chaos from fear. They took a while to get to where they were to go to, but after that, they finally settled down. Lauren nearly dropped her jaw when she saw what may be the most peculiar game of croquet she could ever get in, and would be very traumatic for Fluttershy if she was present. The balls were live porcupines. The mallets were live flamingoes. The arches were what looked like children from the Shipping section. The chief difficulty Lauren found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Lauren soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed. The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time, Queen Faust was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with her head!' about once in a minute. Lauren was beginning to feel uneasy as they brought in Tom the Gamer, another Brony, to Tirek for Execution. She swore she had already puked in her own mouth due to the number of who were brought in. She remembered that she made Faust angry a while back, but she was pardoned. Even so, she was scared if she was the next one to get sent to Tirek. What would it be like if she did that to me? Lauren thought. She’s so ill-tempered and one could easily get the impression that she likes to Terminate her subjects. It would be a miracle that there are still those who are left alive. Well, the King has been kinder and patient. Lauren was hoping to have some relief, or a way to be excused out. A note, somepony she met earlier, a friend to talk to, anything to get out a bit! She was already scared of the Queen. She looked around for any excuse whatsoever. Finally, something caught her eye. There was a peculiar thing in the air, well, two, near the rosebushes. Lauren focused on it was it began to move, and it eventually formed two familiar grins. Hazel and Hester! Lauren thought. What a relief they are here! “Um, excuse me, I think a friend of mine is calling for me” Lauren pointed to where the grins were. “Go ahead” Queen Faust nodded with approval. Lauren didn’t need to be told twice as she put down the flamingo and ran off to where the duo was. She smiled a bit as if in response to their grins. She took a seat beside them, but gave enough room if they were gonna have their full bodies there to seat on. “How are you getting on?” Hazel asked as both their eyes began to appear. No doubt that they were following Lauren’s suggestion to make their appearances slower in order not to frighten her so much. When their eyes were complete, Lauren nodded. She didn’t really speak until the ears fully formed. She thought that it would be useless to speak to them if they didn’t have enough to hear with. She waited patiently, and began to regret telling them to make their entrances and exits slower. She finally began to speak when both their heads were whole. “Please, we stopped by to take some tea, normal tea. You look like you need it” Hester said as she made three teacups appear infront of them, along with a shuttle of tea. Lauren then began to tell them about how it went from the point of when they temporarily parted ways. She was glad to have somepony sane enough to talk to around. Hazel and Hester just listened on intently. Lauren tended to take noticed that they didn’t have any more intention to make the rest of their bodies appear. Either that or they wanted to show that were really paying attention to her. “I don't think they play at all fairly” Lauren began, in rather a complaining tone as Hazel and Hester took a sip of tea. “And they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak…and they don't seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them…and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground…and I should have croqueted Queen Faust’s hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!” Hazel sighed, and then looked around before asking in a low voice, “How do you like the Queen?” “Not at all” said Lauren “She's so extremely…” Just then she noticed that Queen Faust was close behind them, listening. Hazel was gesturing the Queen with her eyes, as though from fear. Hester sent a mental message that sounded like the Queen saying, off with her head. So she went on, “…likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game” The Queen smiled and passed on. Hazel and Hester took a sigh of relief. Right then, Knighty appeared on the scene. “Who are you talking to?” “Friends of mine who showed me a around a while ago, Hazel and Hester. Allow me to introduce them” “Oh, I remember them. They’re two of those girls from my Fimfiction website. In their real-world counterparts, their first story was scratched a bit due to some being OOC. But they may offer a kiss on my hoof if they like” Hester’s left eye twitched a bit while Hazel cringed a bit and spoke, “I think we’d rather not” “Oh, don’t be impertinent” Right at that, Hester almost gave a soft, inward growl. Hazel looked at her sideway nervously from that. “Now, Hester, don’t you growl at me like that!” he hid behind Lauren as he spoke. “I believe she tends to get like this who wants to seem more important than God. They are both, afterall, Catholic. And from what I’ve noticed, Hester tends to be the more aggressive one” Lauren said. “So sorry. Hester, stop” Hazel whispered. “Well, she must be taught manners!” Knighty then called to Queen Faust. “Faust, can you have this Familiar and her Partner out now?” “Off with their head!” the Queen said without turning around. “Thanks a lot, Hester” Hazel whispered to her Familiar. “I can’t help it” she rolled her eyes. Lauren was afraid of what may become of those two children, but she went to check on the game to take her mind off it. It wasn’t very fun anymore as most of them had already been dismissed. When she checked on Hazel and Hester again, she was surprised to see that a large dispute had formed around them. She saw Tirek, dressed in Executioner attire and wielding a large scythe. He was having an argument with Knighty, and Queen Faust. When they noticed Lauren, they called her forth to help settle a dispute. “Miss Lauren, can you please explain to the King and Queen that you cannot behead a head unless it had a body to be beheaded from?” Tirek asked. “Can you tell this absorbent, siphon leach that as long as one had a head, they can be beheaded?” Knighty glared at Tirek. “If nothing is settled soon, I will have everyone present executed!” Faust yelled angrily. That was enough to make everypony lese around cringe from fear. Lauren didn’t know what to say, except for one thing, “The first time I met those two, they were in the Fimfiction Insane Asylum. Hazel was a bit Bipolar while Hester was schizophrenic” All three facehoofed. “We’re dealing with two crazies from an asylum?! No wonder one of them was more dominant than the other, even for a Familiar!” Queen Faust groaned. “Let them off with a warning” Knighty said to Typevader, who took it down. Lauren sighed in relief. She looked to where Hazel and Hester were, only to find that they had already disappeared. They didn’t notice that while they were all in argument, the duo had already begun to disappear. By the time they finally settled it out, they were fully gone. I hope they’re not mad that I revealed their disorders, Lauren sighed.