In breaking news, the ruler of the Changeling Swarm, Queen Chrysalis, has perished of over-drinking. She was 2,786, making her the longest-serving monarch of all time. It has been startling news to the changeling drones, who are currently celebrating the death of their queen with pots and pans outside the nest catacombs. Thousands of changelings that are living disguised as ponies in Equestria have shed their disguises in celebration. The question of deporting these changelings is currently on the table.
"Finally! She's dead!" Thorax, a changeling deserter announced. "Finally we can have fresh amounts of love! Death to tyrants! Justice!"
We hurried to Princess Celestia to get her thoughts on the subject.
"Well, I mean, she's always struggled with the bourbon," Celestia said. "And um, she's dead and I....really couldn't care less. She was a bloody tyrant."
Celestia went back to sleep moments after the brief interview.
"Well, we tried to get her to Tartarus," Princess Luna added. "But I think Hell serves her better."
"Dying of drinking bourbon?" Cadance laughed when we caught up with her. "What a light-weight." She then followed up the questioning with a whole bottle of Crystal Vodka.
"Honey!" Shining yelled at his wife. "You really shouldn't drink like that!"
"I ain't pregnant anymore, Jack!" Cadance yelled back.
While changelings celebrate the death of Queen Chrysalis, hundreds of ponies mourn the loss. To them, she was a revolutionary leader that established true equality in her hives. Despite purposely starving the changelings so that they would do her bidding, she did achieve universal healthcare for the hives. It was a momentous achievement and a world first.
"Queen Chrysalis was an inspiration to us all," Starlight Glimmer, head of the Equalist Party of Gooddoers, remarked. "She defied Equestrian brutality and fascism for a thousand years. She was truly remarkable."
"'Remarkable?'" a changeling onlooker yelled. "She was a c***!"
"You don't know anything about her!" Starlight yelled back. "You've just been taking in Equestrian propaganda! You don't know how she was really like."
"Yeah I do!" the changeling returned. "I've only been in Equestria for two days!"
Starlight did not have further comments.
"Why are you asking me?" Trixie Lulamoon, a traveling magician asked us. "I am in no way affiliated with Starlight's group. Like not at all. None. Zilch. Nada. Why are you still here?!!"
"I mean, I get why some may like her," Princess Twilight said later that day. "I think she ruled quite well with her iron hoof tactics. Yeah she was evil, but to rule for that long and still be able to mass forces to attack the most powerful nation in the world? It deserves credit. Sometimes I wish I could rule like that. Yup...I um....didn't mean it like that. Wait! Wait! Don't publish this!"
Princess Twilight was then taken away by Royal Guards under suspicion of usurping the Two Sisters.
"Wouldn't be the first time..." The Princess of the Sun remarked.
That concludes this report. Changelings are still in mass celebrations throughout the Changeling Kingdom and Equestria. We believe that Thorax, the ambassador to the Changeling Swarms will be the new King of the land. Now in other news: Did Dragonlord Ember help bring Celestia back to Princesshood? Does this young dictator of the Dragonlands want to instill dragon fascism to Equestria? Manederson Hoofer reports. The news, tonight at 9!
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