//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 - I can help // Story: The Flame of My Darkness // by eggtosser //------------------------------// The Flame of My Darkness Chapter 5 Help me I shuffle nervously on my seat, uncomfortable with how close Green Flame is, as time slowly ticks by. Every second feels agonizingly slow, as if the universe has slowed down to near a complete stop and is forcing me to bear through it. Though the pass two hours has been uneasy for me it has been surprisingly uneventful, because usually I will be a magnet for ponies who want to make me miserable. Whether I should feel grateful I don't know. Green Flame is, well, talkative. She likes to talk but isn't over excessive and over does it; she has a lot of self control from what I can see and is less provocative unlike the other ponies in this school. Though with each attempt to create a conversation with me is quickly shot down as I fail to reply to her. It isn't that I am shutting myself from her, but is because I haven't got the clue if I can trust enough to converse with her. I want to talk to somepony who has little intention on biting, but I am afraid that this is a mask to hide what is truly behind it. Even despite how different Green Flame appears compared to those others around me, I learnt the hard way that it doesn't always mean that they'll eventually turn on you. I jump as I feel something touch me on the shoulder. Looking towards the source I notice that it is only Green Flame, who is giving me a concerned look? I quickly realize that she can see my eyes so I quickly shut them and turn away just in time that, hopefully, she didn't seem them. "Are you okay?" She asks worriedly. "Y-yeah." I squeak out. Huh, I guess I can speak. Before she can speak a word, the school bells start blaring their unbearably loud sounds. I cover my ears but it is no use. The entire class erupts into loud chatter as they begin to filter out of the class in large clusters until only me and Green Flame are the last ones left in the now silent room. "You coming?" She asks as she is about to leave. I want to say no, so she can go and I can finally be alone and keep to myself with nopony around. But at the same time, do I really want to say no? Can I take the chance to become her friend despite my odds of achieving that goal? It wouldn't hurt to try I guess; so far she has been surprisingly non-aggressive towards me. I just don't want to be let down again, to be used then thrown away like a piece of scrap paper that nopony wants. I'll give it a chance, and maybe it'll turn out alright. And plus, all I am doing is going outside with her and... socializing, it shouldn't be too difficult. I nod and start walking slowly with her which is enough to get a smile out of her. As we move through the long hallway, I feel my nerves start to rise as the the brightly lit doors at the end of the hallway gets closer and closer. I have to calm down, stay calm and you'll be alright. I know I am making this this sound more difficult than it actually is, but I don't like being around ponies. They cause me to become nervous and jumpy. "So how are you?" She asks, quickly bringing me back out of my thoughts. "I-I'm fine." I whisper back. "Are you sure? Because you don't look fine." Green Flame continues sound a tad bit more concerned. "I'm fine really." Why must she care about my problems, we barely know each other. Despite my efforts in avoiding the conversation, she stops me in front to face me, giving me a stern glare. "Derpy, I'm serious about this. What's wrong." She says hardly. I can't tell her anything, it'll make me appear weak and helpless, and it can ruin my chance of becoming friends. I don't like telling lies, but I don't have an choice. But if she finds out herself it'll be more worse because then she'll thing I'm disloyal because I can't trust her with the truth, which in all honesty is why I am keeping from her. This is a bit complicated, either tell her the truth or hide it. Both options having their positives and negatives but are equally as difficult to choose between. "Derpy?" "Huh?" I shake my head, still looking away from her. "You just blanked on me, but that is besides the point, you're obviously not okay." Her concern for me is all too noticeable, and I would be lying to myself if it didn't make me somewhat feel slightly better to know that. But I only feel regret knowing that I'll be lying to her. "It's just that..." I begin but the words die on my tongue. "I'm sorry." She sighs, softening her gaze as she sits down in front of me. I turn my head away, not wanting her to see the few tears rolling down from my eyes as I feel myself fighting an internal battle. It is a like a storm that only continues to strengthen, refusing to calm, and I'm trapped in the epicenter of it. "Please, I can't stand to see you like this." At this she practically begging for an answer. She places a hoof on my chin and gently pulls it so she can see my face to wipe the tears away, even though I am trying my hardest not to let them out. Her touch is warm and gentle, it feels like as if my mum were here to comfort me. "Let me help you." "Y-you want to... help me?" At this point I don't know what to say. You don't have to be a genius to figure out how serious she about wanting to help, which is why I am so surprised. She nods in affirmation. Calming myself, I retell my experiences here while leaving out more delicate information that I'd rather not share. I'm guess she is listening as she keeps silence, I can't tell because my eyes has attained a big interest with the white marble floor. I still believe that now isn't the time to show her my eyes, but telling her about some of my worries is like lifting a weight from my shoulder I never knew was there. By the time I finish telling her a small fraction of what I have to deal with, I can't believe I am actually saying this, I feel glad.I feel glad that I am able to share my life with someone who is willing to listen. For once, I feel safe.