The Pink Offender

by retrobrony1987


The Pink Offender

Through the peaceful countryside race the highness carriage, faster and faster the coachmen drove, for he knew some where, out there, waited the most dreaded bandit of them all El Kaneigho, then the bandit stepped out from behind the bushes.

"Halt!" Yelled the bandit, and the driver tried to bring the carriage to a halt but it was too late, the driver accidentally ran over El Kaneigho.

"Ah... Ugh..." He groaned as he tried to stand up but bumped his head on the bottom of the carriage, "Sunday drivers." He said crawling out from underneath, "This is a hold up." Snarled El Kaneigho.

"Oh d..d..da.. dear, who can save us now!?" Said a citizen.

"Have no fear citizens," Came a voice from up in the trees, then a figure swooped down to the ground on a rope, "It is I The Masked Avenger!" He said.

"Oh no... no no not the the Masked Avenger!.... AAHHH!!!" He cried and took off running.

"Thank you Mr. Avenger." Said the carriage driver.

"No need for thanks citizens," He said as he took off through the trees the rope, "Masked Avenger Away (yawn)" Yawned Twilight closing the book she was reading to her friends during a slumber party she had that night.

"Ooh, Ooh, read another Masked Defender story Twilight, please, pretty please!" Said Pinkie Pie jumping up and down on Twilight's bed.

"(yawn) Tomorrow Pinkie." Sighed Twilight.

"Oh I would love to be just like the Masked Defender, what a stallion, what a hero, just like me... almost on account of he's not pink like me." Said Pinkie jumping up and down on the bed and then falling of.

The next day at Fluttershy's cottage, Fluttershy was taking care of a little bird who had hurt it's wing.

"There you go Mr. Robin," She said after putting a splint on it's wing, "Now you get plenty of rest and try not to fly for about 2 days or so." She headed back to her house and went to open the front door but when the door was just about open it closed on her... by itself, "That's odd?" She wondered, "My own door won't let me in." Then a voice came from inside.

"Who is it?" Said the voice.

Fluttershy was worried that someone or something was in her house, "Um... I.. It's... It's me F..f...Fluttershy." She said bravely.

"Yeah, What do you want?" Asked the voice again.

"Um... I live here." She replied.

Suddenly a laugh came and out of the darkness popped Pinkie Pie, "Well your just the Fluttershy I'm looking for!" She said and pulled Fluttershy into the house, she put Fluttershy on a chair in the middle of the room, "Say, you got any thread?" Pinkie asked.

"Why yes there's some over there." Fluttershy pointer.

"Scissors?" Asked Pinkie.

"In there." Said Fluttershy.

Pinkie went over to a table that had a table cloth on it, "You don't mind if I you this, do you?" She asked, and without warning she yanked the table cloth with a stack of dishes on it.

"Oh no!" Cried Fluttershy, the dished went up in the air and came back down stacked perfectly unharmed, Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief.

"Thought they were all gonna crash, did ya?" Said Pinkie, she slammed the closet door and all the dishes shattered to the ground.

Fluttershy walked to the closet door and there was a knock, "Who is it?" She mumbled.

Then suddenly the door opened knocking Fluttershy to the wall, "TAH DAH!" And out of the closet came a mare dressed in a Purple table cloth cape, gardening mitts, a big hat and a red scarf around her waist with a stick from a tree in the loop, and a black mask.

"Who are you?" Said Fluttershy.

"Why I'm the protector of the forest, champien of the underdog and other household pets," She said, "I wrestle Changelings, I hog tie Timber Wolfs, I am the Pink Defender!" She bowed, "And you citizen have the honor of being my fateful sidekick."

"Oh really!?" Smiled Fluttershy.

"You do the really important sidekicky stuff like uh... uh... carry my hero suit." She said and put a hat on top of Fluttershy that was a little to big for her.

"Oh thank you." Said Fluttershy.

"But you must promise never to reveal my true identity." She instructed.

"But I don't know your true identity?" Said Fluttershy from under the hat.

"Ha ha ha, Why it's me silly willy Pinkie Pie! (Squee)" She said pulling her mask down and headed to the door."

"Ooh." Sighed Fluttershy.

Pinkie opened the front door, "Pink Defender Away!" And just as she was about to run out the door closed on her and she ran into it, sitting on the floor a little dazed she looked over at Fluttershy with her hat, "I forgot my hat." Laughed Pinkie embarrassingly, and she grabbed so fast that Fluttershy did multiple midair front flip.

Later that day they walked through the countryside, Pinkie was looking for evil while Fluttershy carried her hero suit.

"Now you never know where evil lurches, you gotta keep your eyes peeled." Said Pinkie randomly looking all around her surroundings, in bushes, up in trees and looking under small rocks, "Look fateful side kick!" She called out peeked through a bush, "An evil do'er is sneaking up on Applejack," She pointed out Applejack doing some gardening next to her scarecrow, "Quick the hero suit!" She screamed, and she pulled it away from Fluttershy so fast causing her to do another front flip.

"Yipe!" She cried.

"Have no fear citizen," Pinkie yelled causing Applejack to look up into the trees and see a figure swoop down from a rope, "Pink Defender to the Rescue!" She called as she jumped down and tackled the scarecrow, the scarecrow was on a post and as soon as she landed on it the post bent back and flung Pinkie Pie and the scarecrow into the trees.

"What do yah' think yer' doin'!" She cried out watching the figure wrestling with her scarecrow and the disappeared into the trees "NO, mah scarecrow!" She cried.

"No need for thanks citizen," Said Pinkie throwing what was left of the scarecrow away, "Pink Defender Away!" And she took off on a rope swing.

Applejack looked at her garden in worry, "But, but the crows!" she gasped and suddenly like lightning a sea of black crows covered the garden, "They'll eat everything in mah, mah..." And like magic the crows ate everything in less than 10 seconds, "...Mah garden." She sighed depressingly.

Not to shortly after they came upon Rarity's Carousal Boutique, "Look fateful sidekick, Rarity's roof is made of fabric, do you know what this means?" Said Pinkie.

"Um... Pink Defender I'm not sure it means anything." Said Fluttershy unsure about the question.

"Why when it rains, her home will get sogged, clogged, and water logged, we've got to save her, quick the hero suit!" She called, "Pink Defender Away!" And she grabbed her hero suit from Fluttershy, and this time she ducked and didn't do a front flip.

Rarity was on her way back home from the market, "Boy I can't wait to put these diamonds on this dress it simply deviAAHHHH!" She gasped, her home and business was covered in wood and nails, poorly constructed, the boards were not evenly lined up and the nails were embedded into her beautify constructed home, "WHATS GOING ON HERE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" She said hyperventilating.

"No need for thanks citizen," Said Pinkie patting Rarity on the back, "Pink Defender Away!" And she took off.

Rarity's mouth was agape devastated by the damage, "Who's thanking you, you... you... vandal!" She screamed and went to open her door and she slammed the door as soon as she got inside, then the vibration from the door caused the wood to fall down causing the roof to fall in, luckily Rarity wasn't hurt but her home was destroyed and then she started crying like a waterfall.

"But um... Pink Defender," Muttered Fluttershy, "There's really nothing here to rescue." She said as Pinkie was throwing rope around trees.

"Nothing to rescue!?,"Pinkie repeated, "Then whats that!" She pointed.

"Um, Rainbow Dash's house." She answered.

"Exacticly," She announced, "It's obvious that her house is a cloud, she's in terrible danger, why if the wind blows her house will start moving and it might crash into a tree."

Pinkie tied a bunch of ropes tightly around a bunch of trees that were bending over ready to retract, meanwhile inside her cloud house Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle were having a conversation about when she gets into the Wonder Bolts.

"Excuse me Rainbow Dash?" Asked Twilight, "You weren't planning on moving were you?"

"No, Why?" Rainbow Dash asked confused.

"Then why are we." Said Twilight.

Then the entire house around then stated to rip apart from its structure and fade away like a cloud would, the trees holding the house in place started to retracted and pull the house apart, then there were loud screaming coming from inside the house as all of Dash's furniture fell to the ground, luckily Dash and Twilight flew out of the house just in time before it all fell apart.

"HOW IN EQUESTRIA DID THAT HAPPEN!?" Screamed Rainbow Dash.

"Pink Defender Away!" Called a voice that Dash and Twilight heard.

"What was that?" Said Twilight.

Dash was completely devastated at her wreaked home, the clouds were broken into sections and fading away.

"Twilight there you are!" Called Rarity and Applejack approaching the wreckage of Rainbow Dash's home. "We need your help!"

"Why whats going on?" Pondered Twilight,

"Whats going on!, Ah'll tell you whats goin' on Twi!" Said Applejack, "This Pink Offender!"

"Who?" Asked Twilight.

"The Pink Offender is a ruthless vandal who has been destroying our homes." Said Rarity.

"How?" Asked Twilight.

"How!" Said Applejack, "Ah'll tell yah how, she attacked mah scarecrow and destroyed it and on top of that she feed my garden to the crows!"

"She destroyed my home!" Inquired Rarity.

"Yeah, and now mine too!" Added Dash.

"We've got to stop this Pink Offender," Applejack pouted, "What do ya think Twi?"

"W... Well, I... Uh.." stuttered Twilight.

"Ah got!" Applejack interrupted, "We'll give her a taste of her own medicine."

"I second the motion!" Stomped Rarity.

"Yeah, I third and fourth it." Added Rainbow Dash.

Not too far away in the bushes was Fluttershy over hearing the conversation, "Oh dear, I must find Pinkie." She shivered and went off searching for her friend to stop her before its too late.

A little bit later Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Twilight, were working on something to get back at the Pink Offender.

"A little more on his head." Said Applejack.

"More glue?" Said Rarity.

"And molasses too, we'll see how the Pink Offender likes this one." Finished Applejack with a devilish grin.

Twilight looked at the monstrosity they made and she knew is was wrong for her friends to be doing this, "Girls this is wrong what your doing." She said.

"Wrong!?" Said Applejack, "What do yah mean wrong!"

"You know this whole revenge thing, you guys don't have to do this, couldn't we just talk to this pony." Said Twilight nicely.

"Revenge!?" Burst Applejack, "Oh no, this is payback for what she did to mah farm, once they mess with Sweet Apple Acres, they get a buck to the flank." she grinned.

Not too far away Fluttershy was looking for Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie Pie where are you!?" She called.

"There you are my fateful sidekick,'" Said Pinkie who was sittin' up in a tree "I've been lookin' all over for ya!"

"Pinkie Pie I need to talk to you!" Said Fluttershy.

"Oh, help me Pink Offender!" Cried a voice in the distance and Pinkie's ears perked up.

"A citizen need me!" She cried, "Pink Defender Away!"

Fluttershy tried to stop Pinkie, "Pink Defender don't goohohohoh!" She cried as she pulled her cape but only caused her to do another front flip.

Pinkie Pie swung through the trees in search for the cry for help, "Tah Dah!" She announced as she landed on a tree stump.

"OH AH, OH MY CELESTIA, IT'S HORRIBLE!" Cried Rarity running away.

"IT'S AS BIG AS A B... B... BARN!" Screamed Applejack.

"IT'S A... A... WHAT-CHA-MA-DINGLE!" Cried Rainbow Dash flying by.

"A what-cha-ma-dingle?" Pinkie pondered.

"Um hello," Said Twilight approaching, "So you’re the..., wait you look familiar, you look like..." Before she could say any thing else Rainbow Dash covered her mouth.

"Um, she's so speechless at how horrifying the monster is!" She said.

"Have no fear citizen, The Pink Defender To The Rescue!" She screamed, she jumped into the bushes and found the What-cha-ma-dingle, it was ugly looking to Pinkie but really it was, but it was really a bunch of mud, molasses and glue splattered all over a pile of hay with gardening tools as arms and two honey pots as eyes but Pinkie didn't know this, "Yuck," Disgusted Pinkie "It's got a face only a mother What-cha-ma-dingle could love." She looked back at the beast and approached it, "So you’re the bully who's been bullying my friend's eh? well alright put up your hooves, put up your hooves!" She said, the monster started to melt with a gooping noise, "Alright you asked for it!" She grunted, and she stepped back, "Pink Defender Away!" And she pounced up into the creature and started fighting with it, but she started to get stuck inside the creatures goo."Hey! let me go! let me go!" She cried.

Pinkie poked her head out to gasp for air and heard laughing from the other ponies.

"Oh Pink Offender!" Laughed Rarity, "You saved us!" And they all continued to laugh humiliatingly at Pinkie.

Then Fluttershy ran to Pinkie's aid, "Oh no, I'm too late, are you alright?" She asked.

Pinkie slid down the goo onto the ground and pulled her mask off, then there was a big gasp from the others.

"PINKIE!?" Gasped Applejack, "You’re the Pink Offender!?"

"Not anymore." Whimpered Pinkie Pie, and she picked up her hero suit and her and Fluttershy walked away together, "I guess you were right Fluttershy, nopony wants a Pink... Offender." She muttered sadly and started to cry as they walked away.

Then Spike walked passed the girls, "Hey Pinkie, Hey Fluttershy... whats up?" He said as they said nothing and walked away, Spike saw Twilight and the rest of the girls, "Twilight whats going on, why is Pinkie Pie crying, where are my good honey pots and what in Celestia's name is that thing?" He said pointing at the What-cha-ma-dingle.

Twilight sighed, "Well Spike it's kinda a long story."

(Ten minutes later)

"Gee." Muttered Spike, "That's so sad."

"Yeah, and I don't know how we are going to apologize to her," Twilight said sadly.

"There are my good honey pots!" Said Spike trying to pull one off of the What-cha-ma-dingle.

"Poor Pinkie." Sighed Twilight.

"Poor Pinkie!?" Interrupted Applejack, "Well even if we didn't know it was her, she still ruined my garden."

Spike was having trouble with the honey pot stuck to the glue, "Um Twilight, this glue is really, really gluey and stretchy."

Then the unthinkable happened the glue retracted itself towards the girls at high speed, the girls tried running from it but the cart it was on caught the girls in it's glue and rolled down a hill towards a old rope and wooden foot bridge, the cart rolled onto the bridge and went through one on the planks of wood and started to tip over over the side, the cart was suddenly upside down but it didn't fall the wheels where tangled in the rope, the girls looked down in horror as to how high they were stuck in glue dangerously suspended over a deep abyss, then the glue started to melt and stretch from the weight of the ponies.

"HELP SOMEPONY, HEEELPPP!" Screamed Rarity.

"Twilight use your magic to get us out of this!" Yelled Spike.

But it was no use the glue covered Twilight's horn and she couldn't do a thing. "I can't!" She cried, "The glue is too thick, Fluttershy help we're stuck!"

Fluttershy heard the cries from her friends and flew as fast as she could to see what was happening, when she got to the bridge she saw her friends trapped and in danger, "Don't worry, I'll go get help!" She called.

She ran back to her cottage to find Pinkie, "Pinkie!" She cried, "Pinkie come quickly the others are in danger, it's a job for the Pink Defender!"

"Sorry Fluttershy, I can't do it." Whimpered Pinkie from inside Fluttershy's closet.

"But they need you!" Said Fluttershy.

"If anypony needs me, which I doubt, I'll be in here for the rest of my life, if not longer." Replied Pinkie.

"Well they’re our friends and I'm going to help." She said and ran out her front door, "Fluttershy Away!" She yelled softly.

Then the closet door opened, "Fluttershy Away?, Uh oh!" Said Pinkie.

Fluttershy flew down into the gorge to help everypony, she first tried to pull Spike but with the glue still stretchy it pulled her into the glue and she was stuck too, now they were in big trouble, until they heard a voice up in a tree.

"Pink Defender Away!" Cried Pinkie swinging down from a vine to save her friends but instead she missed. "I missed." She mumbled.

Then suddenly with all the weight of the ponies on the glue it broke free from the cart and fell into the gorge.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" They all screamed.

Then suddenly there was a bouncing noise and the glue blob bounced out of the gorge and into the air.

"Well what do you know!" Laughed Pinkie, "What-cha-ma-dingles bounce." Then the blob stop in mid-air and fell back to the ground and crashed safely into a pond where the glue washed off of everypony.

(Later that day.)

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that heroism doesn't come from dressing up to look like a hero and looking for trouble, it comes from when real a hero is needed, that when there is actual danger it is called upon for, and not to mention it also works when your friends help you out and that's what true heroism is friendship. your friend Pinkie Pie." she quoted to Spike, and he blew a flame and off the letter went to Canterlot.

Pinkie was working on fixing Rainbow Dash's cloud mansion, it wasn't really fixed it was all held together with duct tape and cotton candy that Pinkie had in her room.

"There you go Rainbow, Good as new!" She said tossing a cotton candy stick away but it hit a piece of the cloud and it stated a small chain reaction.

"You still have to fix my garden." Said Applejack, the clouds started to loosen up and shake

"Oh yeah." Mumbled Pinkie. "You know it was a lot less work when I was a Pink Defender, maybe I should stop being a Pinkie and go full time being a hero." Then parts of the Rainbow Dash's house started to fall down but Pinkie didn't notice.

"Um... Pinkie, remember what happened last time." Said Fluttershy softly, then she noticed the debris falling and took off running.

"Yeah you’re right Fluttershy." Sighed Pinkie, "I guess I'll keep the hero suit in moth balls for a while..., But then again you never know when they'll be a call for The Pink Defender!" She screamed, and she stood in a pose with her hero suit on and her hoof in the air and the house fell apart behind Pinkie.

THE END.