MLP: FiM
Love times three
By: flat spin
Some inappropriate themes ahead
”And then she said that she had a coltfriend and slapped me.” Rumble, Tender Taps and Button Mash could hear a voice coming from the other room.
“How do you always get yourself on to those kinds of situations?” A familiar voice said.
“I’m starting to think that every good looking mare in this town is taken… is Button’s mom taken?” The first voice said.
“WHAT?!” Button yelled as he, Rumble and Tender Taps walked into the room. They saw Rumble’s Brother Thunderlane who was sitting on the couch with a light blue pegasus.
“Oh Hi Rumble... And Button and Tender Taps.” Thunderlane said and turned to face his brother. “You need something?”
“I was actually gonna ask Soarin’s help.” Rumble said and looked at Soarin.
“What do you need kid.” Soarin smiled and looked at him.
“Well… You seem to know a lot about mares.” Rumble started.
“Yeah… I guess being a wonderbolt forces you to become expert on pony mating.” Soarin chuckled with Thunderlane.
“Okay… but anyways there are these fillies that we like and we don’t know how to ask them out and make them like us too.” Rumble said and both Tender Taps and Button Mash nodded.
“Well kids if you wanna make a mare like you. you need to find the clitoris.” Soarin said.
“WHAT?!” All three colts and Thunderlane yelled out.
“Dude they are like six…” Thunderlane said.
“Hey I’m 12.” Rumble said in an annoyed tone.
“Whatever… anyway dude they don’t even know what the birds and the bees do.” Thunderlane said to Soarin.
“oh..” Soarin started and looked at Thunderlane. “Oh…” He said again a bit louder and looked at the little colts. “OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why didn’t you say that you want them to just be your special somepony and that you don't want to sleep with them."
“Why would we want to sleep with them?” Tender Taps asked.
“So that you could have s..” Soarin was cut off by Thunderlane.
“Dude! They don’t know!”
“Oh yeah sorry… Anyways here is my advice to you three: If you fall in love before the age of twenty five… don’t.” Soarin said to the three colts.
“What?” They said in unison.
“Sorry to break this to you but the fact is that the pony you have a crush on might not be the one.” Soarin said and continued. “But if
you wanna still try I suggest getting some flowers and do something romantic.”
“What if a mare doesn’t like romantic stuff?” Rumble asked while thinking what Scootaloo would think if he gave her some flowers.
“Trust me they all love romantic stuff… I too thought that maybe some mares might not have a romantic side to them but I was wrong.” Soarin said proudly. “Just trust me get some flowers and do something romantic.”
"Do you have a special somepony?" Tender Taps asked.
"Well... i know who my special somepony is but at the moment i'm happy being single. I don't wanna rush into love you know." Soarin said and laughed. "Because love is like a fart in a way... if you force it really hard it's gonna be shit. So don't rush into love other vice you might end up covered in manure."
“Okay.... Well thanks Soarin!” Rumble yelled out as he, Tender Taps and Button Mash ran out of the room.
“Do you think they have a slightest change?” Thunderlane asked Soarin.
“Well you didn’t have any change to get together with Spitfire and now look at you… Happily together for what a year. I have known her for my whole life and she has never had a relationship that lasted this long.” Soarin said and gave a friendly poke to Thunderlane.
“Yeah… Anyways what where we talking about?” Thunderlane asked.
“I think we were talking about how hot Button’s mom is.” Soarin pondered.
“So how are we gonna do this Rumble?” Button asked as they walked back to Rumble’s room.
“Tomorrow we get some flowers and after school we are gonna ask them out.” Rumble said confidently.
“So what do we say to them?” Tender Taps asked.
“Well Soarin said to be romantic so say something romantic.” Rumble said.
“I Have a bed feeling about this.” Tender Taps muttered.