The Flame of My Darkness
II
The day passed relatively slowly, I try to make a game with myself but it never really the same me and my mum and dad play together. So instead of trying to play a game, I pull out a random book from the bookshelf next to the couch and turn to a random page. I know I can't read but it doesn't mean I can't try, and my attempts are proving fruitful. Before when I was young, I wouldn't even be able to read a single word on a page because it'd be too blurry or because of my crossed eyes, the two images being printed in my brain would overlap each other making it unreadable. However, now that I am practicing reader it is now becoming slightly more easier to pick out the different letters and form a word out of them.
As I continue to read through the page, really really slowly, I feel something soft and furry rub against my leg. Looking down from my book, I notice a orange and a light shade of brown fluff curling against my leg. Seems like Harmonious is awake now. She lets out a few noises, and I pick her up to place her on my lap. I run my hoof through her delicate fur that makes her purr and lay down on my legs, her fur is as soft as clouds that radiates with warmth
We stay like this for who knows how long, but is shattered when I hear the front door open loudly which causes Harmonious to jump slightly, and me as well not expecting it. Looking up, mum has returned with two blue bags dangling from her mouth. She comes and hugs me before trotting off into the kitchen down the hallway.
"You okay dear?" She asks from kitchen.
"Yeah," I answer back to her.
I trot after her, my curiosity peaking slightly on what she has bought today. Staring at the bags she is unloading, it looks like we making some vegetable soup I think. I may not be able to read books but I can pick out objects as long as they're close; so I'm not entirely impaired with my vision despite what most ponies think of me. I make my way back to the living, trying to make sure not to bump into anything on the way, but despite my efforts I scrape my shoulder on the frame.
"Damn you eye, can't make me see right." I mumble lowly to myself.
Sighing solemnly, I take my place on the couch. I feel Harmonious stroke herself against my frame, it makes me smile slightly but has little effect on my mood. Wanting to be somewhere private, I move to my room instead. My eyes catches a glimpse of a small blue bag next to the door of my room that makes realize something, today is Sunday. Well isn't that just perfect. No matter how much I don't want to go there, I have to and I must for not only just me but for my mum and dad who support. I can't let them down. I like my school don't get me wrong, the teachers are nice and helpful. They try to stop the bullying that is being done to me, to which I am grateful for, but it isn't enough.
I hear mum exchanging greetings with my dad within the other room. As much as I want to go down myself and see him, my body refuses to leave my room like it doesn't want me to as if it is detrimental. I climb onto my bed and shove my face into my pillow. Looking out of my window, I can see the ponies traversing through town with smiles on their faces, conversing with their friends and loves ones as they go to where ever the need to or just standing around around aimlessly.
I stare at them from a bit, imaging myself within the crowd with ponies actually wanting to talk me, the ones I can call my friends. It is only a dream isn't it? A dream that won't come to fulfillment? I look away, not wanting to stare anymore at how happy they are. I want to go out there, to feel the sunshine on my coat and breeze through my mane, but trottingham ponies aren't exactly known for their positive view of those who can be classified as abnormal. I feel like crying; I want to cry, but I can't. All my tears have been shed long ago.
"How's my darling daug-" I hear my dad begin before abruptly stopping. He quickly comes to my side, trying to soothe my internal conflicts. "There, there, what's wrong do tell." He asks concernedly.
My dad has a bright white coat and a messy yellow mane, his eyes more yellow than the sun can ever be. His cutiemark consist of a train, symbolizing his involvement within the transport department. I'd love to come with him to his work someday, but it'd be too dangerous for me as he works on rail maintenance.
"Am I normal?" I ask, voice wavering sounding like I'm about to cry.
"Of course you are, only because your eyes are different doesn't me you are are different." He tells me, stroking my mane lightly.
"Then why does nopony care about me?" Tears, many tears start streaming out like a waterfall, an invisible valve triggered on maximum.
"We care about about you, don't let their words take you down, I love you because of who you are and am proud to call you my daughter," he says softly as I unload everything out.
He's right, I can't let them bring my down. I may be slightly different but on the inside I am just like them, they just haven't realized yet. But it's too difficult, I wish it can be easy but it isn't. I need to be strong, but as long as I have them I know I can do it. I may be small but I am strong. If I can't do it for myself then I'll do it for them. Because without them, I'd probably wouldn't be here in their embrace but instead- No! Don't think of that, not again.
Much time passes before I finally calm down, father still hanging over me as my guard from all of life's mischief.
"Come, your mum is making vegetable soup with salad." He says.
I nod with a smile then follow him out. I can do this, I just need to be strong. Tomorrow I'll show them how hard it can be to take my down. Celestia if you can hear me, thank you for giving wonderful parents.