Several days had passed since the birth of Dinky Doo.
Derpy was spending a night or two in hospital, recuperating and making sure everything was alright with her foal and herself.
The Doctor meanwhile, had largely vanished.
But Princess Celestia knew where she'd find him.
Right where he'd come from last time. And where he'd left.
The blue box that shouldn't be there.
She opened the half-open door and found him, lazily examining one of his flameless fireworks.
"Never could get them to work" he said solemnly.
Even after a thousand years ruling Equestria and meeting the Doctor on several occasions, the sight of the 'Timey-Wimey-Box's' interior never ceased to amaze her.
She walked down the staircase to face him.
"You came back" she said at last.
The Doctor smiled, his face still solemn.
"You waited"
"Alicorn, remember?" Celestia's face also grew solemn "We understand each other's burdens...we always did"
The Doctor sighed, returned his firework to its container and gazed around his contraption.
"Laurelore loved it here. She loved the feeling of helping others. Travelling to worlds unseen and unreachable even to her and making things right. But I couldn't keep her for long. Her ponies needed her" she turned to her "And so did yours"
"I realise that..." Princess Celestia looked back on that day with remorse "I was not in my right mind"
"No Tia, you had a right to be angry with me. You had a right to feel betrayed...and you wanted to do good. You wanted to make things right. I know the feeling. Even now I succumb to it here and there. But you understand...why I couldn't let you-"
"Yes" she did not want him to continue "I understand. The laws of space and time are not for me to warp to my whim...it's just..." Tears appeared at the corners of her eyes. The Doctor obligingly produced a scarlet handkerchief and dabbed gently at her face.
"You'll see your sister again, Tia. I promise. And she will forgive you"
"Doctor..." Celestia struggled to find the right words. After several attempts, she settled for something that she knew would work.
"I missed you"
The Princess of the Sun and the Stallion Who Stops The Monsters shared an ages-delayed hug.
"You knew this wasn't the end, didn't you" The Doctor asked.
"You always hated endings" The Princess replied and looked into his eyes "But why now?"
The Doctor reluctantly pulled himself away from the hug and looked at his life's work.
"I let you down that time, Tia" he said "So I tried to make things right for myself. I tried to see if you were right so...I tried to stop it"
"The war" Celestia's eyes widened.
"I failed...again. Everyone lost...again...and I kept on running...again. There was a time I grew too proud. It was soon after I faced down Tirek and witnessed Laurelore's birth. I watched her grow up and realise what sort of pony I was becoming. A silly colt playing god in a blue box, looking down on these small, mortal, insignificant ponies. She couldn't stand me. And part of me wonders if that was what I wanted. Before her, Rememberly trusted me...but then I went off to war. And when I came back, the Valley was in ashes...the First Age of Magic at an end...Old Equestria gone forever"
He took a deep breath and ruffled his mane in frustration.
"Everywhere I go, ponies trust me and I always let them down, whether it takes minutes or years. And then they're dying" He suddenly screamed "I AM SO SICK OF EVERYONE DYING!" He lowered his head and sank against the wall "After I realised that my mistakes wouldn't be fixed anytime soon...I accepted that was my curse...the price I paid for a life that never ends and a world that never stops turning. As usual, I played my part. The stallion who regrets and then forgets. Went back here, incognito, searching for somewhere I could forget. Found a suitable spot in Fillydelphia. The drinks and doughnuts came hard and strong. But this time...this time there was no forgetting" He shook his head, amazed at his own actions "I'd hurt somepony that day. And I'd decided then...that I'd had enough"
"Doctor, I don't..." Celestia was quiet. Then realisation spread through her like a draught as she stared at her distant companion.
"Dinky!" she gasped "She's...she's..."
"Yep" He stood in front of her, eyes down "New low for me. I'm sorry, Tia. I let you down...again"
"But Doctor...you...and me..." She looked heartbroken. The Doctor had seen that look before in her face and many others he cared about and it never got easier.
"I know. I'd say I didn't mean it to happen but...that's never been a good excuse for anything else I've done. If you want to hit me, go ahead. I've done a lot to deserve it"
Celestia felt tempted. Centuries ago the Doctor had always been there for her. From her fondest memories to her deepest regrets, he'd helped her however he could. Then he'd left. The day after Heart's Warming Eve, neither of them were quite sure what caused it, Celestia had broken down and attempted to hijack the Doctor's box. She intended to undo her greatest mistakes, one by one, and make things better. But the Doctor had found her. He was disappointed in her. That was the worst part, disappointing him. Nothing made her feel worse. He'd taken back the box, sent away the Luna that could have been, and set things back to normal. Celestia had proven herself unworthy of his trust and the powers he commanded.
At least that was how it felt.
The Doctor would've wiped her memory but he couldn't bring himself to do so in the end.
They had ended their relationship with a silent farewell and the fading hum of the blue box.
Now he was back.
But not for her.
"I was so lonely..." she murmured, her voice cracked fighting back the sobs "...without you...don't you realise that?"
"Always. But I meant what I said that day. You will see her again. And beside her will be ponies who did what I never could; stay by you and make things better" He was crying now. He didn't show it, he was always very calm, but the tears were there "You are fantastic, Tia. You are absolutely fantastic. And there are a lot of ponies out there who think the same way. You were more than I deserved and I couldn't have kept you safe forever. I never forgave myself for hurting you that day and I might not forgive myself for hurting you now but if you need ponies to make you feel better, you're in the right place" He shrugged coltishly as was his manner "So are you going to hit me or what?"
"I haven't decided yet" Her manner was severe "Doctor, I must ask and you must answer, truthfully"
"Alright"
"What are you going to do now?"
The Doctor seemed happy she'd asked that.
"You know, Tia" he said "All my life I've tried to be the best...well now, I think the best thing to do now is...to be me. I got Derpy pregnant. Derpy's not a goddess, a warrior or a fabled bringer of destiny, she's just a nice pony that's been very good to me. What Derpy needs right now is somepony to stay close to her, be there when she needs it and help her with raising her foal. And you know what? She's going to get it"
He spun round, coat and scarf flying round his body.
"I'm going to stay"
Celestia stared at the lonely time-traveller, completely stunned.
"Doctor?" she whispered.
"You heard me. She's fantastic. She's a true friend, a good pony who wants to help...and the mother of my foal. That's a war worth fighting and I'm not running away this time. I'm staying here, where life is worth living, where I can watch the world turn and still feel like I'm part of it..." he paused "Where magic makes it all complete"
"Doctor..." Celestia raised one hoof to her mouth.
"I'll still go out from time to time, can't keep a boat away from the sea, but here's where I'll return. Always" he tapped the side of his time machine fondly "The old girl's always been my home away from home" he gave the floor a meaningful tap with his hoof "But here, Ponyville, this'll be my home when not away from home. And the home of my wife and daughter. And whatever it means, watching myself die, watching others die, stopping others die, I'll do it. I'm ready for it. No more running, no more 'surviving'. I want to live. I choose to live" He stood proudly in front of Celestia "I choose to stay...now please hit me, I need it, the way I'm faffing about with..."
Celestia's hug nearly took him off his hooves. The Princess wept on his shoulder but there was such joy, relief and admiration in her face that he hadn't seen and she hadn't felt in millennia.
"Well..." he muttered "That works too, I suppose"
"Oh Doctor..." Celestia sighed "Just when I thought you couldn't surprise me enough"
"You never learn do you. I never fail to surprise"
They laughed. They had missed this. Two undying travellers braving the worst together.
Then Celestia grew serious.
"When will you tell her, Doctor? She needs to know"
"She will. I need the right time. It's not ideal just up and saying 'How am I doing on the Foal Support, love?' but if I know her she'll find out on her own"
"I believe she and others have thought, at certain times, that you are the foal's father. Part of her hopes you are. She has nothing but love and respect for you, Doctor, and you'd be wonderful together" Celestia smiled "But you mustn't let her suffer through this alone. Her mind's hazy and unpredictable at the best of times and she's already been through so much. She needs your help"
"She'll get it, Tia. Every bit of it and more. I promise"
They both sighed.
"Well, I'd better see if Derpy needs a ride home. I might need someone to move the box next door to her place. If I'm very lucky, she'll have space indoors for me. And Dinky's going to need a translator for her first few years, poor filly"
Both ponies prepared to leave the blue box to assume their duties.
Celestia turned to him.
"You're a good pony, Doctor" the Princess said with pride.
The Doctor shrugged.
"I learn from the best"
*
Mayor Mare was really quite satisfied with how things had turned out. And she saw nothing wrong with a small celebration.
She had invited several friends, Cup Cake, Ms. Harshwhinny and Nurse Redheart round to her residence for tea.
Cup Cake and Redheart had been as eager to recover from the stress of the Town Play as much as she had and Ms. Harshwhinny, who'd been in the audience, was quite interested to know what exactly had transpired that was making everypony so excited.
They'd regaled the details with quite some amount of wonder as they sat at the table sharing tea, cake and gossip.
"This is really, utterly, completely, wholeheartedly, unbelievably, extraordinarily the most amazing thing I have ever heard!" Ms Harshwhinny trilled.
"Calm down, Chalice" Mayor Mare mused "Still, who would've thought it? Derpy Doo, the muddle-headed young mailmare, caring for a foal! That's a Rejuvenation Festival I'll never forget"
"Well, I'm sure she'll do fine as a mother" Cup Cake said calmly "It's not like handling heavy goods. I've never seen her so happy and calm in all her life. She's up to this. We'd know if she wasn't"
Nurse Redheart spoke.
"I have to say, I've known Derpy for a while, I've treated her for every time she's come under stress or mental mayhem of any sort but I saw her holding her little filly and resting it in her hooves with more care than anything else I've seen from her. I reckon she'll do okay"
"She does have Doctor Whooves taking care of the pair of them if anything turns awry and he's reliable at least" Mayor Mare smiled at her little entourage "Yes, my dears, I think the worst is behind us. It was all a rather hectic night for all involved but I am confident that months from now, we'll look upon those memories with great fondness"
"Hear, hear!" They charged their teacups and drank.
There was a knock at the door, brusque and severe.
"Well, I wonder who that could be at this hour?" Mayor Mare asked, getting to her hooves "Don't mind me, girls, I'll be back in a jiffy"
Walking to the hallway, wiping profiterole cream from the side of her mouth, she opened the door.
"Town Mayor Merry Weather, I presume?"
The mare found herself looking at a gaunt icy-blue unicorn mare, richly dressed in dark burgundy satin with her mane dressed up into a tight grey bun. A carriage had been parked outside her residence. It was clear that this pony was not from here. No-one in Ponyville showed such extravagance or had the money to do so.
"Um...yes, that would be me. An odd name, I know. My parents were pegasi, you see. Folk around town just call me Mayor Mare and my friends call me Merry"
"I am not your friend, Ms Weather, nor am I from around town" The mare was caustic. Mayor Mare could tell from a glance that she didn't like coming here.
"Uh...it's Mrs" she pointed out.
"I beg your pardon?" The rich mare rose one thin eyebrow derisively.
"You addressed me as Ms. It's Mrs. I'm married to Lady Justice, Ponyville's Court Judge, and I have three foals currently studying at..."
"Do be quiet, Mrs Weather, I am not here to talk about your family, I am here to talk about mine"
Ponyville's mayor was taken aback by her visitor's rudeness.
"Well then..." she struggled to find appropriate words "I don't believe I've met your family"
"You wouldn't. We do not come to this backwater suburb except in cases of great importance, such as this one" She stepped inside and walked briskly to the cozy living room Mayor Mare kept without a by-your-leave. Once inside, she sniffed in distaste.
"You have a very small lounge, Mrs Weather" she said in a deadpan fashion.
"I'm...sorry to hear that" Mayor Mare looked around. In the kitchen, she could hear her friends whispering to one another, clearly listening in on the conversation "Would you like to sit down and have some tea and cake with us?"
"Certainly not" The visitor raised her head arrogantly "You clearly do not know who I am to address me in such a slapdash manner. I am Countess Magnifying Glass of Invitro Hall, a household ranked among the highest echelons of Canterlot"
"Well, that all sounds very exciti-"
"Do not stray from the matter at hoof, Mrs Weather. You know why I am here" It occurred to Mayor Mare that the Countess was brandishing a black leather crop. So either this mare was an avid enthusiast in something she didn't wish to think about too hard or was intent on seriously hurting somepony.
"Well?" she asked, glaring at Mayor Mare with those ice-cold eyes of hers.
"Well what?" The beige politician asked, causing the countess to glare at her "I'm awfully sorry but if you're not here to sit down and have a bite to eat I cannot see how I can help you"
"Mrs Weather, you ought to know that I am not to be trifled with" her voice was as chilly and devoid of tenderness as the rest of her "However insincere you choose to be, you shall not find me so" She took a step forward, trying to size up the mare before her "A report of an alarming nature reached me not two days ago"
"I see...would you like to tell me about it?"
"I most certainly would, Mrs Weather. That is, after all, why I am here. I had heard that a member of my family had been involved in a nation-wide scandal, hideously tarnishing the name of Glass, perhaps permanently. I had heard that the scandal had taken place here in this...Ponyville" she positively spat the word "and that the denizens of the town were behind her all the while. Ideally, I would wish to hear that this is nothing more than an abrasive falsehood. If, however, it is quite true, Princess forbid, then I shall have the damage it causes upon the noble Glass family minimalised as far as necessity demands and its perpetrators dealt with severely to prevent such impudence for future generations. Do I make myself clear?"
"...not in the slightest" Mayor Mare felt the need to be quite forthright to this prickly, pompous newcomer. Nobless or not, nopony came into her home and started ordering the Mayor of Ponyville about unless that pony was Celestia herself "I know of no such scandal"
"Do not be impertinent with me, Mrs Weather" Magnifying snapped "Your authority is in name only and removing it would be as easy for me as putting on a coat. I shall illuminate. The member of my family that caused such a scandal, currently residing here in Ponyville, is one Miss Irregular Kaleidoscopa Glass"
Mayor Mare tried her hardest to ignore the threat she'd been dealt, taking a moment to polish her glasses coyly.
"I've never heard of her"
The Countess seethed, rolling her lips around her jaw that resembled chewing on sticky toffee.
"As expected, she uses the name her father gave her. Her name, Mrs Weather, or at the least the name she goes by, is Derpy. Derpy Doo"
Back in the kitchen, their tea and cakes momentarily abandoned, Nurse Redheart, Miss Harshwhinny and Cup Cake, their ears still pressed against the trendy saloon door the Mayor had between the kitchen and the living-room, stared at each other with amazement, making a series of silent gestures indicating sheer unbelievability.
Mayor Mare was quiet for a few moments.
"Let me get this straight" she said at last "Has Derpy been leading a double life?"
The Countess rolled her eyes.
"No, of course not. She can hardly lead a single life. My niece simply has two forms of nomenclature from the families she's descended from"
"How does that work, exactly?"
The Countess's neck rose in a snobbish manner.
"The Glass family descends from the line of Cendrillon Wyndergarde, First Steward of the Eastern Unicorn Kingdom, existing and standing high among the royal hierarchy since before the First Age of Magic. Do you understand, Mrs Weather, that while you stand in my presence you stand among a pony as noble and illustrious as Princess Celestia herself, perhaps greater"
Mayor Mare took a deep intake of breath through her nostrils, once again trying hard to ignore this mare's outrageous words as the Countess continued.
"My father, Stained, was one of the richest stallions in Canterlot and birthed two daughters, myself and my younger sister...Looking Glass" her face darkened with distaste "A young noblemare has certain responsibilities which I wholeheartedly performed but my sister elected to ignore, unpunished by my increasingly-senile father. While I married Lord Nitpick, Sixth Earl of Speck and Canterlot Lord Magistrate, and gave him two daughters, my sister chose to cavort with mares and stallions of inferior birth, one such scoundrel among them a rambunctious pegasus by the name of Can Doo"
"The Wonderbolt?" Mayor Mare's eyes widened but her tone remained as sardonic as possible "Second only to Captain Wind Rider. Decorated by Princess Celestia for bravery in the field of Storm Rescue Operations and earned a permanent spot in the Wonderbolt Hall of Fame?"
"An upstart!" Magnifying Glass spat "An upstart who bewitched my fool of a sister and my ailing father into dragging the family reputation through the mud. And then, the ultimate injustice, their foal. A winged simpleton, wall-eyed and inept"
"So..." Mayor Mare was piecing things together "Looking's name for her was Irregular?"
"No, our name for her was Irregular. My sister was incapable of making her own decisions. She believed it would be 'cute' to base her name on what her husband's Wonderbolt friends had for her, 'Ditzy-Do'. The name 'Derpy' apparently means something similar but, owing to the crudeness of such a name in the family, the Glass household named her Irregular Kaleidoscopa, both named after...illegitimate kin of the offshoot families. A means to remind Looking, Can and father just what the child was, not that they cared"
She bristled at the memory.
"The three of them laughing as their little oversight made a fool of us at every noble gathering she could possibly upset. Well..." She drew herself up again "I put a stop to that. Once I had our father safely committed, I had the two of them disowned from the Glass family. The father of course threw a volley of profanity at me, threatened to use every inch of his meagre reputation to fight the case but..." she took an apathetic sniff "...before he could, the two of them ended up lost in the great Terrorstorm of Cloudsdale some twelve years ago. Irregular, unfortunately, was still a problem. I resolved to be generous and gave her a home at Invitro Hall, pulling her weight as a scullery maid. As you can imagine she was hideously incompetent to the task but nonetheless, we allowed her that role"
"I see" Mayor Mare narrowly avoided seething.
"Yes. Unfortunately, like her mother before her, she was entirely ungrateful. At the age of fifteen she left the household, leaving nothing behind but a dreary sob-story and her maid's uniform. I was advised to cut all ties with her but, I hope you understand, the name of the Glass family means a great deal to me"
Her horn glowed carmine red and removed a crisp letter from her coat. She opened it up and waved it in front of Mayor Mare.
"A family commitment. I made sure she signed, took her enough tries anyway. While she lives apart from us, the Glass Household take eighty-percent of any salary she may earn and she is not to travel out of Equestria, seek employment in civil service, study at university, apply for bank loans or, very important, right here" she tapped a part of the letter with her crop "Marry or have foals...without the Glass family's expressed permission"
Mayor Mare looked the letter over. It was signed by Countess Magnifying Glass, Lord Magistrate Nitpick and, scrawled in Derpy's messy handwriting, Irregular Glass.
"What's your point?" she asked.
"The point, Mrs Weather," Countess Glass hissed "is that under my very nose, my niece has given birth. Is this not true?"
Mayor Mare felt herself worry. She now realised it wasn't herself who this noblemare put in most danger.
It was Derpy Doo. And perhaps her foal.
"It was no fault of her own, Countess" she insisted, causing Magnifying Glass to snort with derision.
"I find that very hard to believe. So who's this husband of hers?"
"Well..." Mayor Mare braced herself for a hurricane her way "She doesn't have one"
Countess Magnifying Glass stared, goggle-eyed at the Mayor of Ponyville.
"Do you mean to tell me..."
"Unfortunately, yes, Countess" Mayor Mare was measured in her tone "The hospital has not been able to trace the foal's father thus far"
The Countess's eyes pulsated in their sockets and her lips twitched and tugged violently.
"Are you ill, madam?" Mayor Mare asked with a small hint of concern.
"What is the foal?" Magnifying Glass's voice was hoarse and gurgling "Tell me...quickly"
"She's quite similar to Derpy in coat and mane but lacking the...eye affliction...and she is...a unicorn"
There was a small pause.
Then, with a cry that would have sounded more appropriate coming from a startled griffin, Countess Magnifying Glass furiously thwacked a cushion on Mayor Mare's armchair, which bounced slightly and sent a small puff of dust flying up, illuminated by the fireplace. She breathed in and out, heavily, teeth-bared like a wild beast.
"That IMBECILE!" She screeched "Does she not realise what she's done?!"
"Could you not do that please?"
"Does she not realise how severely this could cripple our family's standing?!" It was as if the Mayor was not even in the room "A pegasus, earth pony or even a zebra we could simply disclaim and remove subtly but this will point her relations back to us, the Glasses of Invitro Hall! As I long suspected, Irregular is as promiscuous as her mother and, dare I say it, twice as stupid! And you, Mrs Weather," she brandished her crop inches from Mayor Mare's nose "You allowed this unspeakable act of indignity to go through in your squalid and impertinent jurisdiction? Is this to be endured?! It shall not be!"
"Are you quite finished" Mayor Mare chose not to react to the crop in front of her.
"I am far from finished, Mrs Weather!" the Countess barked "It is my firm wish, nay demand, that you put a stop to this and deal with my niece to the full extent of the Glass family's legal sanction. Ensure she experiences the consequences of her unspeakable actions"
"So...what exactly are those consequences? Are you cutting off all ties with her?"
"Oh no" A faint smirk played at the Countess's tight lips "For an offense of this nature, proper chastisement will be needed. It is my wish, as explained in the commitment, that if she breaks these rules in an open and brazen manner showing total defiance of her family's wishes, then she shall be revisiting Glanders Gate Asylum"
Glanders Gate Asylum...
The morbid house of madness was spoken of only in whispers on the darkest of Nightmare Nights. Its actual location still obscure after many centuries, the asylum was among the first created in Equestria before the Second Age of Magic, not surprisingly after Rememberly the Bonnycorn had been exiled by the Council of High Hooves. Appropriately, it was a relic of a dark, disharmonious past. A filthy, violent prison staffed by ponies madder and more dangerous than any of their patients, 'psychological techniques' more at home in a torture cell, next to no standards of hygiene and something about a curse, the Alicorn princesses had petitioned multiple times over their reigns to have the place closed and demolished but, through the work of anonymous benefactors, the asylum stayed active after millennia. It wasn't a house where ponies came to be cured of madness but where they'd contract it permanently.
"Y...You..." Mayor Mare stammered, her calm demeanour broken momentarily "You can't be serious"
"I can assure you that I can, Mrs Weather. My father is merely eccentric, Canterlot Psychiatric Ward is the place for him. My niece, however, has demonstrated herself to be an anti-social drone, detrimental to her family and, quite possibly, society itself"
"But...don't you know what it could do to her?"
"I am completely aware. Why do you think I'm sending her there again in the first place"
Mayor Mare was aghast.
"A-a-again?!"
"Yes" The Countess paced around the room in recollection "In her tenth year, the servants discovered Irregular flying around like a cretin, flinging off her uniform and upsetting the scenery. She was blathering that she'd received a letter, obviously fabricated, that her parents were alive and that when they returned she would tell them of the quote 'horrible things we'd been doing to her'. Clearly in some delusional fever, my husband and I sent her off with all haste, clandestinely of course, to Glanders Gate for a period of three months" She smirked again "When she returned, that was the last we heard of any such outbursts again, I can tell you. This recent behaviour of hers can be interpreted as such. She was always a mentally deficient mare. Containment at Glanders Gate will do her good, I am sure. She shall stay there indefinitely and that shall be the last I shall hear of her nonsense"
Mayor Mare felt a sudden urge to curl up in a corner and throw-up but she held firm.
"And...what of Dinky?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Dinky...that's...the name of Derpy's foal"
Countess Magnifying Glass shook her head, sighing.
"Of course it is" she sneered "You'll get rid of the foal, Mrs Weather"
"Wh-what...what do you mean...get rid of the foal?"
"Oh for Celestia's sake, use your imagination!" the Countess snapped "Or I'll find somepony else who can. You know who I am, Mrs Weather. You know what I can do. Your only obligation is to ensure that the foal is disposed of and never mentioned again. Fail to do so and my husband shall see to it that your term as Mayor is ended and you are treated as an accomplice of my niece's actions, putting you in prison for a sustained length of time"
Mayor Mare blinked.
"On what charges?!" she exclaimed.
That sinister smirk tugged again at the Countess's lips.
"Whatever I may decide"
There was a deadly silence.
Behind the kitchen door, Ms Harshwhinny seethed like a boiling kettle, Nurse Redheart cupped her mouth with shock and dismay and Cup Cake slammed her hoof into the other meaningfully which resulted in the nurse holding her by the shoulder in a firm manner, reserved for hysteric patients.
Mayor Mare spoke at last, taking in the sight of the smug, self-interested Countess and knowing there wasn't a single pony in Equestria she currently despised more.
"Is this the only copy of the...family commitment?" she said, looking closely at the letter, inches from her face.
"It is, Mrs Weather" The Countess said "We had others but one day we caught Irregular throwing them at a passing guard as proof of our so-called 'cruel treatment' so we got rid of all but the original copy you see before you"
It was then that Mayor Mare knew she had the Countess right where she wanted her.
"Good"
The Mayor of Ponyville snatched the letter from out of the magical grasp of the startled Countess and threw it, in one swift motion, into the fireplace. It set alight almost immediately and the area which contained the signatures was burned black in seconds.
Mayor Mare turned, expressionless, to the Countess who stood watching the letter burn doing a wondrous impression of a trout in the throes of some seizure, gaping and gurgling in shock.
"You...you...you..."
"Whoops" Mayor Mare said in a sarcastic sing-song tone "How terribly, terribly, terribly clumsy of me"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" The Countess's composure was extinguished as the Mayor of Ponyville stepped forebodingly toward her, her expression turning grim.
"What have I done?" she said "I've protected a pony very dear to all of us from the machinations of the monsters she's unfortunate enough to call family! And you, Countess Magnifying Glass will not harm a hair on her mane or her foal's! Not while I'm in charge!"
"You...you...how dare you!" she screeched after a series of splutters and stammers.
"NononononoNO, how dare YOU, Mrs Glass!" Both mares turned to see Cup Cake standing in the kitchen doorway, accompanied by Nurse Redheart and Miss Harshwhinny, all three of whom looked mad as heck and not about to take it anymore.
"How dare you!" Cup Cake barked, shaking with rage "How bucking dare you come in here, uninvited, and order us, no, scratch that, threaten us to make your own niece's life a living Tartarus, you heartless piece of curd!"
"Quite so, who do you think you are?!" Chalice Harshwhinny snapped, bristling "Have you any idea what Derpy's been through? If you didn't want her to have a foal, you should've looked out for her! You have nopony to blame but yourself and we're not letting you take it out on her or little Dinky! You are a prig, madam, a pander and a common bully! And I have a mind to turn you upside down and use you to scrape out the Sweet Apple Acres Sty!"
"Madam, you...you..." Countess Magnifying Glass's face turned puce as her rigid snarl threatened to tear itself wide open "The Princess will hear of this!"
"Go ahead"
All eyes turned to Mayor Mare who stood polishing her glasses nonchalantly.
"What?" The Countess asked at length, her mouth gaping.
"I said go ahead" The Mayor of Ponyville placed her glasses back atop her nose "Whatever she does to us will be a proverbial picnic compared to what she'll surely do to you"
"What are you drivelling about?" the Countess snapped.
"Oh didn't you know?" the beige mare smiled "Princess Celestia herself was there when your niece had her foal. She presided over the birthing, offering help wherever she could, and promised to protect the foal and her mother for all time. She blessed those two and I don't think she'll be particularly happy when she finds out what you put Derpy through in her younger years. As much as anything else you claimed you were more noble and illustrious than her and I don't think that'll earn you points with her, regardless of your complaint. You tell her about this, you'll wish you hadn't. What little actual power you have will be removed swiftly and forcibly and you'll likely end up in prison"
"Exactly" Nurse Redheart stepped forward, speaking frankly "It's been proven through thorough and competent examinations that Derpy Doo, though mentally handicapped, is not criminally insane as to warrant incarceration at Glanders Gate or any place like it. Sending her there secretly and against her will breaks a large number of fundamental laws of Equestria"
"I...I..." The Countess was speechless, losing no small amount of her ardour as the four angry mares surrounded her.
"Or perhaps, if you have some small amount of sense, you think you'll be able to get your way on your own" The Mayor stared the Countess dead in the eyes, her voice steadily becoming more and more threatening "But listen to this. If you think you only have to worry about the Princess, you're sorely mistaken. Derpy Doo means a great deal to everypony in this town. She can be a trial, sometimes outright hazardous, but she is still one of the nicest ponies we know and we cannot imagine life without all her little quirks and if we heard that somepony had been hurting her...we would not allow that....ever. So if we find out you're up to something, anything, that would make your niece unhappy...we will come after you and You! Will! Be! Dealt! With! Ponyville Style!"
The Countess deflated like a party balloon which reminded Mrs Cake of when little Pinkie spent the entire day blowing up and letting out balloons, imitating the hilarious noises.
"Mrs Weather..."
"You will address her as Mayor, if you please" Nurse Redheart interjected.
The noblemare gave a pause, closed her eyes, shuddered and continued.
"Mayor...I take my leave of you"
"Do!" Ms Harshwhinny squawked hysterically "Or I shall take you out and set to scraping! SCRAPE, SCRAPE, SCRAPE I shall go!"
It was all too much for the Countess. Haggard-faced and quivering, she gingerly made her way to the door and let herself out.
It wasn't until they heard the carriage drive off that the four mares simultaneously engaged in a drawn-out sigh of relief.
"You showed her, Merry!" Cup Cake proclaimed "I knew there was a good reason the Princess put you in charge!"
"Well, I haven't much power in my position but, when such an occasion presents itself..." Mayor Mare shrugged "I act upon it"
"Indubitably, Merry dear!" Ms Harshwinny began hopping on her hooves in excitement "It was heroic, epic, valiant, corageou-"
"Yes, yes, thank you, Chally" Nurse Redheart held up one hoof to calm her friend, her brow furrowed in concern "I myself am a little worried. A court noblemare just freely admitted to foal abuse of heinous kinds. Are you sure we shouldn't just go to Celestia ourselves?"
"Well...it's tempting but..." Mayor Mare sighed "I have a bad feeling it would seriously hurt Derpy if we publicised her past in this way. I mean, she was never very open about her childhood and its rather clear now as to why that was. And if the Countess is prepared to use her influence to get even, we could bring disaster upon both Derpy and Dinky"
"You might be right there" Redheart said, nodding "Still, I think we put her off for a while and we have all we need on her to keep her away"
"Well...I don't know about you girls, but I think this calls for a celebration" Cup Cake hooted "Shall we bring out the cider?"
"Yes I..." Mayor Mare felt breathless "I think I might need some"
Throughout the evening, the mares got rather tipsy, swaying back and forth between depressed and angry at having found out what young Derpy had been put through and laughing and cheering that it was all over and that here, in Ponyville, she was protected.
Princess Celestia, meanwhile, rested alone in her chambers, dreaming of the memories of her time with the Doctor.
And the Doctor himself, a pony with far too many memories to simply dream about, paid a visit to Ponyville Hospital, sitting by the bed where Derpy and her foal slept, undisturbed.
Just how adorable they looked reminded the Doctor why he had chosen to stay.
This decision would change his life.
And he was prepared to let it.
This was where he belonged now.
With friends and family.
This, he knew, was a life worth living.