"YOU DARE, VERRUCAS!" Bulk Bicep's voice boomed through Ponyville as the flimsy grey gargoyle cowered before him on the Town Podium, serving as Tirek's throne "YOU DARE BRING BAD NEWS TO ME?! YOU KNOW THE PENALTY FOR FUELLING MY ALMIGHTY WRATH!"
Raindrops, playing a Griffin Sentinel, handed Warlord Tirek a bright red cheerleader's pom-pom, representing a fireball, which he hurled at the trembling Verrucas. Ponet caught it and clutched it to his chest, letting loose a drawn-out cry of mortal agony.
"Ooooooh, I'm dying!" he droned, flailing pathetically. Mayor Mare was beginning to wonder whether he and any of the Flower Trio were related.
She took off on the narration "And the unfortunate gargoyle was gone-"
"Never again to revisit the scene of my boyhood in Surneigh..." Ponet suddenly continued. Either he hadn't been informed that the character's final lament had been cut for timing or he simply didn't care. The Mayor's bits were on the latter.
"Romping with my schoolchums in the fens and spinneys-"
"Just then, the merciless Tirek cast another fireball at the gargoyle who had displeased him" The Mayor butted in. Bulk Biceps glanced about, picked up the pom-pom and threw it at Ponet.
"Only grazed me" Ponet smirked as he continued regardless "When the twilight bathed the hedgerows like a lum-"
Bulk Biceps, once again, picked up the pom-pom and rubbed it in Ponet's face, shoving him offstage.
"The final fireball incinerated Verrucas in an instant, leaving behind nothing but a silent pile of ash!" The Mayor snapped "Tirek's cruel punishment stunned his upper circle as he plotted to do away with this..."
"Hi Ho, I'm Verrucas' brother, Laryngitis!" Ponet popped back up on stage, his costume unchanged but for a small ruffle of the wig "I haven't seen him since our boyhood in-" Another pom-pom to the face shushed him.
"And so died the last surviving member of Verrucas' household" The Mayor barked, struggling to compose herself.
"Well..." Celestia heard Fancy Pants mutter "I certainly didn't see that coming"
The Mayor continued.
"What better proof of Tirek's ruthlessness than-"
"Hello, I'm the jellied-eel salesman! Years ago I went to school with Verrucas!" Once again, Ponet reappeared on stage, having pilfered Mr Cake's baking hat "We used to romp in the fens and spinneys-"
A bombardment of fireball pom-poms bludgeoned him off the stage.
"And so died the jellied-eel salesman" This time, the red-faced Mayor saw Ponet opening his mouth for another attempt to complete his prose "And then just to be certain, Tirek had ordered his hordes to lay waste to Surneigh until not a single friend or acquaintance of Verrucas remained, such was his cruelty"
Right on cue, there was an explosion in the distance. The Mayor didn't want to think too hard about where it came from.
"I say, this is all becoming rather gory" Fancy Pants exclaimed.
His last chance thwarted, Ponet stomped, fuming, off the stage.
"Barbarians..." he sneered "You're all barbarians"
"YEAH! WE'RE ALL BARBARIANS!" Tirek roared "AND NOW I AND MY BARBARIAN ARMY SHALL EXTERMINATE THESE FILTHY PONIES! I SWEAR BY MY DOUBLE SET OF RIBCAGES THAT I WILL DESTROY THEM ALL! YEAH!"
The crowd were quiet for a moment, which was becoming quite frequent.
The Mayor braced herself for a long night ahead of her.
Safely out of Ponyville's proximity, a mint-green unicorn and a light-beige earth pony stared, faces blackened with ash, at the smouldering remains of Megan the Mysterious.
"Well shoot" Lyra cursed "I knew that was too much dynamite!"
"Why even...actually forget it, I don't wanna know" Bonbon snapped.
"Never mind, I kept the blueprints. I'll nail it next time, don't worry"
"Well find someone else to play the lower half. How does anything stand on two legs, it's impossible...and kind of degrading"
"Look, I think, right now, we should check on the others"
"I guess. Still, we're not back on until...What The Hay Is That?!"
Lyra and Bonbon turned to see a peculiar creature. It resembled some form of four-legged beast covered in a white and purple goo with an enormous spherical head. It didn't seem to have very good balance as it was crashing into more obstacles than Derpy on a bad day. Taking lessons from the Apple Family herding cows, Lyra and Bonbon flew to either side of it, steadied it and rested it down. It was making muffled noises from underneath it's head.
"Let me guess" Bonbon said, sardonically "Something to do with humans?"
"I'm not some human-obsessed simpleton, Bonbon. And don't give me that look. Besides, I don't think it's some weird creature at all...look here" She recognised the label "This is Bulk Biceps writing. It was gonna' be used in...oh dear" They gingerly removed the cauldron to reveal two very cross spa ponies, lassoed together and practically plastered in a mixture of pastry cream and icing sugar.
"Uh...hey girls...how did your scene go?"
"Get us some towels and don't even ask!" Lotus growled "I don't believe this! This is simply disgusting!"
"What are you, kidding?" Bonbon said, licking at her hooves "This stuff tastes really good. I really ought to go to the Cakes more often"
"Bonbon..." Aloe seethed "If you try to lick me, at all, you will be walking on stumps"
"It's just a good job Vera didn't take our parts" her sister groaned "She starts crying like a baby if a hair in her mane's out of place"
"Alright, settle down" Lyra said "Let's all just find somewhere to get cleaned up. We need to be ready for the final scene before long"
"At last, Technicolor found the Three Great Founders of Equestria, Chancellor Puddinghead of the Earth Ponies, Commander Hurricane of the Pegasi and Princess Platinum of the Unicorns, who were in the middle of a heated debate"
The scene lit up on three ponies dressed as the founders, shouting irately across a table and flailing their hooves wildly.
"I say your thirty bit airship fuel tax goes too far!" Daisy barked, adorned in a purple gown and silver coronet.
"I wouldn't talk about going too far if I was wearing that!" Roseluck thundered, armoured with grey plate and a plumed helm.
"Can we change the subject?" Lily butted in, dressed in a brown, green and pink motley suit with literal bells and whistles attached. She then loudly declared to both the cast and audience.
"Foals come running for the great taste of Crayon Sandwiches!"
The ponies playing Platinum and Hurricane glanced at the Earth Pony Chancellor and then at themselves.
"I say we take everything Puddinghead says with half-a-grain of salt at the most" Platinum declared.
"Agreed" Hurricane said. And with that, they high-hoofed, sat back in their chairs and punched the air with both hooves.
"The system works!" they yelled.
Puddinghead muttered something probably not suitable for an all-ages audience.
"If you'll pardon my intrusion, great leaders of ponykind, I must beseech you" Technicolor bowed before them "In a humble town not too far from here, between each of your capitals in fact, some dear friends of mine are having their child"
"Why do you bother us with such petty distractions, outsider?" Roseluck bellowed "Foals are born everywhere, everyday from everypony. This concerns us not!"
"Temper yourself, Commander!" Daisy decreed "Let her speak. Are we not reasonable?"
"Quickly!" Lily warbled "I intend to introduce new rules for all of Equestria before tomorrow! The compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, corsets for the under-fives and equal rights for all citizens!"
"Why the last part?" Carrot Top asked.
"Oh I just put that in for a joke! What do you think?"
"I think we should move on!" The Commander snarled "Explain your business, traveller, waste no more of our time"
"They shall have a foal, bold leaders, but a foal like no other. The destined ruler of all Equestria, bringer of the New Great Age of Magic and Harmony" Technicolor spread her hooves over her head in a mystical gesture.
"The destined ruler of Equestria?" Platinum repeated.
"Bringer of the New Great Age of Magic and Harmony?" Hurricane repeated.
"Well I didn't vote for her!" Puddinghead babbled.
"Please let me explain, wise founders. Megan, Guardian of the Flutter Valley appeared to me in a dream and told me that the foal they bear shall bring rejuvenation to ponykind so that all the world may know of the magic of friendship"
The Founders gasped in unison. With the length and volume, it was a wonder they didn't all pass out.
"Can it be true?!" Daisy cried "A being calling herself Megan, Avatar of Happiness, appeared before me in my dreams and proclaimed that a foal would be born, a unifier of Equestria who would spread her light and wisdom across the world!"
"Indeed!" Roseluck roared "And a creature calling herself Megan of the Lost World of the Five-Fingered Ones materialised in front of me as I slept and promised that a foal born this night would forge six great elements that would guard Equestria from any threat!"
"Just so!" Lily exclaimed "And I too saw Megan, hounded by two similar entities. One had long blonde pigtails, the other an ochre fringe. They would not stop whining until I clobbered them soundly with an oversized herring which I then ate with my eyeballs!"
"...good enough" Carrot Top said in a resigned fashion "So you must be aware that this foal will bring a new age unto Equestria. But Tirek, the destroyer of our peaceful home, comes now to ensure none escape him and live"
"Fear not, gentle traveller" Colgate, representing Clover the Clever, appeared, smiling serenely "You are most welcome in our lands as are all in need of help and shelter. Such is our way"
"Right you are" Berry Punch, representing Smart Cookie, took her place beside Clover, trying her best to look sagely "If this village stands between the domains of the Unicorn, Pegasus and Earth Pony, and indeed if these dreams you and our leaders share then it concerns us all"
"If this Tirek, or any other, poses you a threat," Cloud Kicker, representing Private Pansy, flew down and hovered proudly above them "then he'll find in us a far greater foe than any other he could dream of"
"Our trusty companions speak truly as they always do. So be it" Platinum rose from her chair.
"So to witness the birth of the fabled foal and repel this fierce foe we shall embark forthwith" Hurricane rose in turn.
"And there'll be much rejoicing!" Puddinghead hollered, leaping from her chair.
From Carrot Top's expression, it was clear that she too believed a long night was ahead of her.
'Okay...okay...' Carrot Top thought, patting her brow with her discarded face-wrap as she waited behind the barn for the scene to begin 'Last scene, the founders arrive, bring her gifts, Tirek arrives, chased off, foal is born, bright lights, yadda-yadda-finished, what could possibly-'
"AAAAIIIIIEEE!"
'-have possessed me to say that?' Groaning, she ducked inside the barn.
"Could you ponies please keep it-WRITTEN SCRIPT WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR HEAD BETWEEN DERPY'S LEGS!"
Derpy turned to her dear friend, her face a picture of strain and terror.
"Carrot...he...he won't wake up"
"Soon fix that!" She knelt down, grabbed the unconscious stallion by the scruff of his collar and shook him angrily "Written, you are in big trouble you cheating little...wait...Derpy are you..." Her mouth dropped.
Fate clearly had it in for her.
From outside, the Mayor could be heard narrating to the arriving audience.
"And so the founders prepared for the fabled foal six precious gifts"
The barn door opened as the Founders stood before the audience, bringing their gifts.
"Behold!" Colgate sounded "I, Clover the Clever of the Unicorns, arrive with my sacred gift. A star that fell from beyond the sky, brought down by Star-Swirl the Bearded to guide me to Princess Platinum. It represents Equestrian Magic. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"
"Behold!" Daisy beckoned "I, Princess Platinum of the Unicorns, arrive with my sacred gift. A great diamond that my father gave to my mother on their wedding day which she later gave away to provide the poor with food during a great famine. It represents Equestrian Generosity. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"
"Behold!" Cloud Kicker announced "I, Private Pansy of the Pegasi, arrive with my sacred gift. A Celestine Matriarch, a beautiful and long-lived butterfly, which I brought home as a caterpillar and raised to adulthood. It represents Equestrian Kindness. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"
"Behold!" Roseluck rumbled "I, Commander Hurricane of the Pegasi, arrive with my sacred gift. The spirit of a mighty lightning storm, frozen in time by our ancient rainbow craft when it threatened Cloudsdale. It represents Equestrian Loyalty. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"
"Behold!" Berry Punch proclaimed "I, Smart Cookie of the Earth Ponies, arrive with my sacred gift. A great autumn solstice apple, preserved with earth pony alchemy by my mentor, Lady Cripps the Pink, that shines gold in the presence of good ponies and glows silver among those who would do the bearer harm. It represents Equestrian Honesty. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"
"Behold!" Lily trilled "I, Chancellor Puddinghead of the Earth Ponies, arrive with my sacred gift. Since this is a party, I bring a big happy balloon. The gas I was using to blow it up made me feel dizzy and my voice went really high-pitched and that made me laugh a lot. It represents Equestrian Laughter. To be gifted unto the HOLY FIRSTICORN SHE'S GIVING BIRTH!!!"
"No, Lily, the line is 'She's giving birth to the Holy Firsticorn', you dope!" Berry Punch snapped.
"No, no, no, she is actually giving birth! Now!" The Founders flung off various parts of their costumes and crowded round the barn entrance taking the sight of Derpy in the midst of labour and Carrot Top frantically trying to bring Written Script to his senses. All six of them started to fall into hysterics.
"The Horror! OH THE HORROR!"
The Mayor, watching this chaos ensue, smiled a little too sweetly at the audience.
"Would you excuse us for just one second, thank you"
Cantering over to the barn, she in turn started to lose her mind.
"What are you doing? We've got them in the soles of our hooves and you're-oh my Celestia!" She had caught sight of Derpy, her foal primed to emerge "Oh! My! Celestia! Not now! Quick, for goodness sake, get Nurse Redheart!" She exclaimed "Towels! We must have towels! Somepony get us some towels!"
"Who better to ask?" Aloe and Lotus, somewhat cleaner than how they had left the stage, appeared with a towering pile of towels. Lyra and Bonbon appeared behind them.
"Hey, everypony, panic averted. The fire won't spread" Lyra was wiping at her brow before she noticed the sight "How's the scene going? The audience are looking pretty...Oh no, this is ridiculous!"
"Oh my gosh, Derpy, are you okay?!" Bonbon handed the towels, one after the other, to Carrot Top "Take the towels! Take 'em, quick!"
"Thanks, girls, you're the best" Carrot Top laughed weakly "No hard feelings?"
The Spa Ponies shot her a look that said there most certainly were hard feelings.
Still, they'd save that sordid story for later. For now, it was all hooves on deck.
Golden Delicious, Apple Fritter and their assorted family seemed on top of things. Apparently, there were several occasions when farm-ponies were forced to give birth in their homestead. Everypony else did what they could to reassure the birthing mother. Nonetheless, Derpy was in a terrible state, heaving and screaming.
"DOCTOR!" Her cry was heart-rending, full of pain, as if betrayed "DOCTOR!"
Outside, Princess Celestia spun round and addressed the audience.
"Is there a doctor here?"
"Right here!" A brown hoof rose in the air, holding a bizarre wand-like device that emitted a blue glow and an electric hum as Doctor Whooves fought his way through the crowd. "Make way there, sorry, 'scuse me madam, thank you, sorry, oomph!" He tripped at the edge of the crowd, colliding into Fancy Pants. A tall slim alabaster mare helped him up.
"Are you alright, old chap?"
"Yeah, yeah, no worries. Love the bowtie. Bowties are cool"
"Thank you, Doctor. I've always thought so"
"I like the bowtie too, just saying" the slim mare said, blushing.
"Charmed. You're a very kind and, if you don't mind me saying, very pretty young mare"
"Th-thank you, Mr Fancy Pants...my name is Fleur"
"Can we save the flirting for later please?!" The Doctor snapped as he approached the barn "Now then..." He tugged at his scarf in anticipation as he swung open the barn door.
"Somepony called?"
"Doctor!" Tears ran down Derpy's cheeks but she smiled "You came for me! I knew you'd come! I knew it! Thank you! Thank you!"
"That's right, Derpy, I'm here for you. Always. Don't you worry" He looked round and rubbed his hooves casually.
"But first things first...who's having the foal?"
Derpy's friends all slowly pointed, slack-jawed, to the grey pegasus with the swollen belly, lying on her back, breathing heavily.
"Just checking. Alright, give me a sec" He rolled up his sleeves, positioned himself straight in front of Derpy, and held his hooves out in front of him, as if it were a bouncing ball that would exit between Derpy's legs. "Ready when you are"
"Oh sweet clopping Celestia, just kill me now!" Carrot Top screamed, throwing her hooves up high.
"I am not in the habit of killing, young mare...or...the other thing "
All heads spun to see the Princess towering over them, her head was low and her wings tucked in order to fit into the barn. Her voice, however, was serene and soothing as she craned her neck over to look Derpy in the eyes.
"Be calm, little one. Push, push. Come on everypony, give her a hoof"
The ponies all flocked to help her. Derpy wouldn't stop crying.
"It hurts...it really hurts, Princess!"
"I know, Derpy"
"Does that mean something's wrong?! I don't want it to be!"
"Do not worry, Derpy. There is nothing wrong, it's all very natural. It will be painful and perhaps quite frightening but that is why we are here for you"
"It's too early" the birthing mailpony wailed "Something's wrong, I know it!"
"Perhaps I may be of help" Celestia inched forward "I can perform some spells that could..."
"Princess..." The Doctor held up a hoof politely "Without meaning any offence, I think this is something we can get through ourselves. Your magic's alright for saving Equestria and guarding against monsters...but birthing a foal...that's something that not even alicorn magic can make easier. What Derpy needs is her friends looking out for her. And I think we can handle that"
"You may well be right, Doctor" Celestia nodded and stood back "You will be alright Derpy. You are in safe hooves. Do it for your foal"
Derpy nodded, mumbling like a nervous filly.
"Okay...okay...I can do this...I can do this but...please somepony be with me"
"Of course, Derpy. We're here for you" Berry Punch looked down guiltily "I'm so sorry. It was me and my stupid parties that got you into this"
"No, no, Berry, it's not...it's not your fault" Derpy clasped Berry Punch's hoof.
She smiled and spoke.
"Look, next time you get a contraction you just hang onto my hoof real tight, okay, grip it. Tight as you like"
Derpy did so as her face creased in horror.
"Oh it's coming!" she wailed.
"Okay"
"Here it comes!"
"Okay. Don't worry, Derpy, however much it OWOWOWOW YOU NAG YOU NAG YOU NAG!"
"Berry! Don't swear in front of the foal" the Doctor scolded.
"OH BUCK OFF YOU QUACK! IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING USEFUL, GRAB MY OTHER HOOF!"
"Well, alright. But I hardly think now's a good time for ring-a-ring-ARGH THIS IS THE WORST KIND OF PAIN!"
"NO IT BUCKING ISN'T!" Berry Punch screamed, red-faced.
"Calm down you two!" Carrot Top bent down and whispered to Derpy, massaging her pulsing belly "There we are. Just one more push now. I can see a head...geez, I hope that is a head!" she winced, examining the sight.
"Is that a little horn?"
"I have to say, these town plays really are very realistic" Fancy Pants said to his newfound admirer, the audience outside only able to hear the various screams, still under the impression that this was nothing more than very good theatre. "I never knew this Derpy had such a topping talent for acting. And audience participation, what jolly good fun. You never get this sort of thing in those stuffy old city theatres. Ooh, don't look now but here's that old blighter, Tirek"
Bulk Biceps strode, once more, onto stage, his army behind him.
"We have found the hiding place of the border-crossers, grand Warlord Tirek!" Raindrops screeched in a hammy griffin impression "They cannot stand against the might of our hordes!"
"YEAH!" He bellowed, hurling another bright red fireball pom-pom at the barn door "THESE PATHETIC PONIES CANNOT ESCAPE ME! AND I SEE THAT THE WORTHLESS FOUNDERS OF THIS CESSPIT YOU CALL EQUESTRIA ARE GATHERED! NOW MY CONQUEST OF ALL PONYKIND WILL BE FINISHED AS SOON AS IT STARTED! ONWARD! TO BA-"
"Bwawk!" His battle-cry was cut off as the strangest dragon Equestria had ever seen bounded into view and took out the entire nonplussed army with a swish of its tail. Thankfully they were standing right in front of the Apple Farm's hay bales which they landed safely upon, avoiding any injury.
"WHAT THE?!" It was a mystery whether Bulk Biceps was as surprised as he seemed or just a very good actor. Derpy had already proven a knack for acting so why not him?
"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! WHO IS THAT?! WHAT IS THAT?!"
"That would be Crackle the Magic Dragon, friend of mine, we go way back" The mysterious stallion approached, straightened his scarf and stood before the Centaur Warlord feared across the world.
"Hello...I'm the Doctor...basically...run"
Tirek blinked, eyed the Doctor, eyed the dragon, eyed the Doctor again and fled the scene.
"I'LL BE BACK!" He yelled.
"Huh..." The Doctor said, raising one eyebrow "He kept his cool a lot better than the real thing...Don't you think so, love?"
"Bwawk!"
"Yeah, well, you know, I'd just come out the regenerator and all so I wasn't looking my best, then when those-OHGOSHDERPY!"
"Doctor!"
Instinctively, the Doctor rushed back inside the barn, slightly pushing Carrot Top aside to get a good luck at the birthing mare.
"You can do it, Derpy, you can do it! Do it for your foal! It's coming! Your foal's coming! One more push, Derpy, I know you can do it!"
"CAN I BE OF SERVICE?!" Those in the vicinity winced as Bulk Biceps appeared behind them.
"Appreciated but..." Colgate took in the sight of him "I'm not sure it's a great idea to have Tirek take care of Laurelore"
Bulk Biceps paused, glanced at the humungous horns he wore, removed them and smiled expectantly. Still painted crimson from head to hoof, he looked only slightly less intimidating.
Carrot Top sighed.
"Okay, but keep it quiet, there's enough screaming around here as it is. You can help wake Written Script up" Carrot Top instructed as her friends continued their bombardment of encouragement, desperate to see this night through.
Bulk Biceps meanwhile was set to apply the resuscitation technique. Fortunately the script-writer had opened his eyes and fought him off while he still had his ribs intact.
"Okay, okay, okay..." Derpy voice became a pained whisper "I can do it, I can do it, I can do it..." Her final scream, louder and longer than any she'd made thus far, was followed by another. But it wasn't the wail of a birthing mother.
It was the howling of a newborn foal.
"Oh...my...goodness" Carrot Top squeaked as she gently picked up a tiny little newborn filly, a small stub on its forehead with which unicorns were born.
"It's a filly, Derpy" she said, her voice wavering as she started crying tears of relief "It's a beautiful unicorn filly. It's a little small but it's voice sure works alright"
"C-can I see it?" Derpy's voice was little more than a sigh.
"Of course you can, Derpy, she's yours. She's your baby" The orange earth pony handed the screaming infant to the tired grey pegasus, who took in the sight, her lopsided eyes full of wonder and delight.
"I have a baby..." she whispered, her lips slowly rising to form the happiest smile her friends had ever seen on her "I'm a mummy..."
"Alright, where's the mess? I should have been called here hours ago!" Nurse Redheart pushed her way forward and applied some wet towels to Derpy's forehead, plus one to the groggy-looking Written Script getting up off the floor, and brought forth a full basin "Well done, Derpy. There might be some more pain for a while longer, but you have done very well. You and your foal are going to be just fine. Doctor, perhaps you'd like to give the little one her first bath"
"Me? Well alright" The Doctor picked up the foal, who was beginning to quiet down, and produced a rubber duck from his coat pocket "Always come prepared. Come on now little one, you beautiful little filly, yes, you are. No, this scarf is not old-fashioned"
"Is he speaking foal?" Cloud Kicker asked.
"Course I speak foal. And she says Derpy ought to have eaten more muffins. She wanted to be bigger"
There was some laughter from those beside him.
"What's her name?" Daisy asked.
Derpy thought, which had never been that easy for her, and listened to all present coo over her baby.
"Look at her. She's got her mother's mane" Colgate said, ruffling it slightly.
"And the little horn just here" Written Script chuckled lightly "She'll grow up to be a great unicorn, you'll see"
"I can't get over how small she is" Carrot Top chuckled "She's so dinky"
"Dinky..." Derpy said softly "That's her name...Dinky...Dinky Doo"
"That is a lovely name" Celestia stated, nodding sagely.
The newly-named foal, Dinky, burbled a little unintelligibly and finished with a giggle, in the midst of bathing.
The Doctor translated.
"Yes, she likes that name Dinky, although personally she prefers to be called Stormaggedon, Dark Lady of All"
"Now you're just being silly" Roseluck snapped.
"Always. What's the point of life if you can't be a little silly? That's a lesson Derpy taught me" She stood up and handed the foal to his dear muddle-headed pegasus friend "You're in good hooves, Dinky, no matter what anypony thinks"
Derpy lay there for what seemed like hours, gazing into Dinky's eyes which were just starting to open fully.
Two big golden-yellow eyes looking straight at her.
"She's...perfect" she murmured as all the fears and anxieties she'd had about allowing the foal to grow up the way she had, began to fade away "She's...normal"
"No, Derpy" the Doctor said, one hoof brushing against her neck "She's better than normal. She's special. Really special. Just like the Firsticorn...just like you"
As the two smiling pony's eyes met, the Mayor peeked outside. Instinctively, she removed her oversized wings and picked up the bright red pom-pom.
"Speaking of which, this might seem a little much, but Dinky might want to put these on"
The lanterns lit up around the barn as Mayor Mare, her mane messy and her glasses askew, smiled radiantly at the audience. No-one had noticed her missing wings or thought to point them out. Sonorous music was played on the cello by a graceful dark mare sitting just outside the barn.
"And there in a stable, two thousand years ago, all of Equestria bore witness to the miracle of the birth of Laurelore the Firsticorn, a very special...and very realistic...foal"
Dinky Doo wiggled her little hooves and burbled a short line of baby-talk. The audience erupted into applause. Nopony clapped louder than Princess Celestia and the Doctor as the ecstatic Derpy cradled her precious, perfect little foal in her arms, smiling like never before.
Celestia watched, struggling to stop herself crying with joy. It was so very ironic. She'd come down to Ponyville for a few moments away from her duties. Yet she had done her duty here, better than she ever remembered in Canterlot. She had regretted not being there for Derpy before. Now she had been here when she most needed it, offering little more than care and encouragement yet here presence been so significant to all those involved.
She had truly done her duty this night.
The Doctor looked out at the crowd.
It had been centuries since he'd regenerated as a pony...somehow...and fled his own home, travelling alone in a mysterious blue box.
He'd travelled across Equestria and many worlds like and unlike it.
He'd met every famous name that appeared in the history books and discovered things those books had never put down.
He'd faced creatures others didn't know existed and beings who were feared by all who knew their names.
But this was new.
Helping a pony give birth. Giving her the joy of being a parent.
And knowing that same joy.
It felt right.
This felt like where he needed to be.