//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1 
// Story: The Rejuvenation Play 
// by Purple Patch 
//------------------------------//

Mayor Mare was showing signs of the stress of leadership.
Not as Mayor of Ponyville but as the director for the Rejuvenation Festival Open Theatre Production. Unfortunately for her, playing Rememberly the Bonnycorn, worshipped as the Great Imaginator, the narrator of the play, was a role that fell on her. She was fiddling with a pair of fake wings and a great prosthetic horn, that left her struggling to get in and out of most doorways. These problems had left her very grateful for the pony who suggested that the play could be set outside, quite literally an open theatre, where the audience would explore various parts of the town depicting the various scenes of the annual Rejuvenation Festival, the celebrated birth of Laurelore the Firsticorn. The idea had come from an unimposing, clumsy and heavily-pregnant pegasus called Derpy who had auditioned for the role of Dandelion, Mother of Laurelore. She'd had terrible difficulty learning her lines and was unlikely to make a very memorable performance but her idea was, nonetheless, a fantastic one and it had saved considerable time and resources by separating the play into several stages around Ponyville.
Derpy herself had undergone an unfortunate happenstance recently. A party in Fillydelphia eight months ago had culminated in her getting, as some ponies described, 'knocked-up' which had dealt her a severe bout of depression and fear of company. It had taken quite some time for her friends to bring her back on her hooves and together they'd helped organise and participate in the town play as a means of morale-building. The foal was soon to arrive in the coming month, she had said, but on everypony's insistence, she'd taken it easy throughout the play.
Written Script, who had both written the script and was playing Woodwork, Father of Laurelore, ironically suffered from stage-fright, so most of Woodwork and Dandelion's lines had been given to Carrot Top, playing Technicolor the Guide, who'd been handling things well it seemed.
Lyra Heartstrings and Bonbon were a double act playing Megan (Pronounced Meh-Ghan) the Mysterious, who came to the main characters to herald the birth of the Firsticorn. A legendary being from another world that walked on two legs and possessed strange appendages, Lyra had made the costume herself and the two mares stood atop each other and controlled her arms and legs with a hoof-made system of stilts and levers.
Bulk Biceps had been given the part of Warlord Tirek. Big, loud and formidable, he seemed made for the part and could at least be counted on for his scenes.
The Flower Trio, Lily, Daisy and Roseluck, were cast as the Founders, Chancellor Puddinghead, Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane respectively. This was an opportunity to put their melodrama to good use.
Beside them, Colgate, Berry Punch and Cloud Kicker, cast as Clover, Smart Cookie and Pansy, had few lines to remember and had, as far as Mayor Mare knew, learnt them to her satisfaction.
Ponet, who was playing Tirek's spy, Verrucas, had insisted on more lines, difficult to come up with for a character who amounts to spying on the main characters, informing Tirek and being incinerated for bringing him bad news.
The Spa Ponies, Aloe and Lotus, were playing the Enchantresses, Ri'Kah and Dra'Ghal. They, it seemed, could be counted on both to learn their lines and their dance routine.
The Cake's Bakery served as the inn where the Dandelion and Woodwork tried to stay. Carrot Cake, the Innkeeper, had been worked off his back-hooves making pies and pastries for the cast and audience and so hadn't had a great deal of time to learn his lines. But he assured the rest of them that his wife and adopted daughter were there on hoof if he needed them.
The barn scene, where the Firsticorn would be born, would be held in Sweet Apple Acres since Granny Smith had, very generously, volunteered to let her family farm be used for the performance. Golden Delicious, Apple Fritter and several members of the family had volunteered to play the parts of the foreign travellers who behold the Rejuvenation and spread the word among their homelands.
Despite everyone's efforts, the rehearsals had been stressful. They'd gotten through enough rewrites to stock a library and many of these changes had been done in the last minute. Worse still, a letter arrived for her this morning stating that Princess Celestia herself would be taking time off her busy schedule to witness the play in person.
Still, this was a Rejuvenation Play not a Shaking Spear Performance. No-one was expecting tears by the end...or at least that wasn't the intention. Mayor Mare took another deep breath as she adjusted the wings one last time and took a look in the mirror. It would serve.


Exiting her office, she greeted the cast.
"All right team! This is it! The big night!" she made an effort to sound more confident than she felt "Now go out there and show 'em what you're made of! And if you forget any lines, don't be afraid to improvise! Make it convincing!"
"Ooh" Derpy, dressed up in a baby-blue gown and shawl, gave a small whine, clutching her stomach "I...I feel it...hurting..."
"Yes! Like that, exactly like that!" The Mayor piped up brightly "Well done, Derpy. Keep it up" She continued shouting encouragement as the cast and crew dispersed to take their positions. Alone and waiting for the audience, she turned.
"Okay, who ordered the dragon?"
There was a pause. The Mayor stared, perplexed, at a brown earth pony in a trailing scarf and a long woolly coat, standing beside quite possibly the most alarming creature she had ever laid eyes upon. A draconic beast of sorts, long, green and goggle-eyed.
"Bwawk!" the creature exclaimed and scratched itself furiously.
"I...don't think any pony ordered any dragon, Mr..."
"Doctor. Just the Doctor" He looked around, grinning wildly "Are you sure about that? The Rejuvenation Play Pre-Final Scene, Tirek's legions are driven away by Crackle the Magic Dragon. Isn't that right, love?" He glanced up at what was either his pet or travelling acquaintance.
"Bwawk!" the creature exclaimed.
"Oh...well...I believe, Mr...Doctor...we may have cut that scene owing to timing difficulties"
"What? Nononono. There's gotta' be a Crackle the Magic Dragon Scene. No play's complete without it"
The Mayor was about to protest when the newcomer waved a hoof to calm her.
"No worries dear, we know our lines, you can count on us. Oh and, just for clarification, is there a mare about to give birth in this play?"
"Well, yes, that would be the Mother Dandelion"
"Fantastic. Okay, we'll, er...wait for the curtain call. Oh, and Ms Mayor..." he added before leaving with the creature.
"Keep an eye on that statue!"
He pointed to a statue of a dismayed Draconequus that had appeared to the side of the Town Hall.
The Mayor blinked. The statue was gone.
"I am getting too old for this" she grumbled as the audience arrived.


Princess Celestia had explained to all those present that she was here as a simple member of the audience and little more. Nopony was expected to show any special honours or privileges or anything else that may spoil the intended performance. For the most part, the crowd had been obliging. She found the small, humble town quite relaxing. Far from the watchful eyes and honeyed words of Canterlot's elite, Celestia felt more at home in Ponyville than she ever did at the palace. The crowd had gathered in the early nightfall just outside the town, the area lit up with magical lanterns directing the mobile audience to the various scenes of the Rejuvenation.
"Good evening everypony and thank you all for coming on this very special night" Mayor Mare looked quite striking in her costume, the white gown and great wings of the Bonnycorn resplendent in the lantern-light "Welcome to our Ponyville Open Theatre Rejuvenation Pantomime. On behalf of everypony involved, we hope you all enjoy watching it as much as we've enjoyed rehearsing it...hopefully more so" 	There was a light laughter "As you know we haven't charged anypony anything to watch our theatre so at the end, there'll be this little sheep waiting here at the gate and all donations will be welcome. Thank you"
She gestured to a small, cream-coloured pegasus in a sheep costume, who held a bucket, handle in her mouth, labelled 'Please Give Us Lots Of Bits'. Below it, Celestia noticed, Bulk Biceps had added 'Or Else'. The little filly stood transfixed by the sight of the princess as the crowd bustled to the opening scene. Celestia gave a smile but the little pony trembled at the sight. Mayor Mare threw up her hooves as she narrated with vim and vigour.
"In the Tenth Year Before Equestrian Harmony, the great Dream Castle of the Flutter Valley had fallen and the land of ponies was wracked with disorder as the strong preyed upon the weak. And there were none stronger and none who hated the weak more than the evil Warlord, Tirek"
Bulk Biceps emerged from the hill, marching with a gaggle of ponies dressed as centaurs, gargoyles, griffins and diamond dogs. The enormous pegasus was painted bright red and adorned with black fur and two great curling horns. Ponet, bedecked in the outfit of a blue-grey gargoyle, strutted forward and burst into his soliloquy.
"Ooooooh gaze upon his likeness, ye mighty, and despaireth for dost ye not hear the ground tremble beneath his tumultuous hoof..."
Celestia blinked as the attention-hungry actor's prose reminded her of someone very dear to her. Someone she'd hurt in an unforgivable way. Someone she'd never forget. Before anyone could notice her tears, Ponet's speech was interrupted by Bulk Biceps who hadn't been informed of the unicorn's 'rewrites' and bellowed out his own lines.
"YEAH!" His voice made everypony present, Ponet included, jump back in shock "I AM TIREK AND MY REIGN SHALL BE ETERNAL! NONE DARE OPPOSE ME! I AM UNSTOPPABLE! WE ARE VICTORIOUS ACROSS OLD EQUESTRIA! OUR HOOVES HAVE TRAMPLED THE FLUTTER VALLEY! WE STOMPED THE DREAM CASTLES TO DUST! AND THEN WE STOMPED ON THE DUST! YEAH! NOW WARRIORS, TO LANDS BEYOND MY GRASP WHERE WE SHALL CONQUER AND LAY WASTE TO ALL BEFORE US! VERRUCAS!" He pointed a massive hoof at the clueless gargoyle "LET MY PROCLAMATION BE HEARD ACROSS THE VALLEY OF THOSE WEAK-MINDED EQUINES! TIREK DEMANDS TRIBUTE! EVERY FAMILY SHALL BE TAXED TO FUND MY CAMPAIGNS OR THEY SHALL ALL BE ANNIHILATED!"
"Y-y-yes my lord" Ponet answered. He cleared his throat and seemed poised to continue his speech before he was seized by the throat by Tirek in an inescapable headlock. Whether Bulk Biceps was intent on shutting up Ponet or simply getting into the act was uncertain.
"ONWARD! TO THE FORESTS OF ZEBRICA, THE DESERTS OF SADDLE ARABIA AND THE HILLS OF CHINEIGH! WE CONQUER ALL! YEAH!"
His warriors stamped their spears and clattered their shields in unison with a chant of "Ti-Rek! Ti-Rek! Ti-Rek! Ti-Rek!" as they left the stage to disappear over the hill, outside of the lantern's reach and into darkness.
Celestia breathed a sigh of relief. She had come here to forget the many trials and tragedies that had befallen her reign and the great body-builder had succeeded in providing the quite the distraction. She knew Ponet hadn't meant to offend or upset her but he had the potential to do so nonetheless, the way he was carrying on.
Mayor Mare seemed to share her relief as she led the crowd on to the next scene.
"Tirek cruelly taxed all under his domain. Those who could not pay were persecuted harshly. Many were forced to leave their old homes in the Flutter Valley, now a desolate wasteland thanks to Tirek and his hordes, and seek new life in the lands ruled by the Founders. Lands without the luxuries they'd become used to in the valley. Lands where the ponies toiled the soil with their hooves, crafted the clouds with their wings and cast their magic spells with their horns. The Valley ponies were distrusted by the locals and could find little shelter. One such family were a husband and wife. Woodwork and Dandelion, aided by their trusty friend and student, Technicolor the Guide, who knew Old Equestria like the back of her hoof"
More lanterns lit up and the main characters and appeared before the audience. Carrot Top wore a desert headscarf that the denizens of the Flutter Valley, now called the Ragged Lands, wore to shield themselves from the dust storms. Written Script wore similar garb and was pulling Derpy along in a small pull-cart. Derpy sat stock-still, breathing heavily, her unsteady eyes glazed over.
Written Script stared at the audience, his eyes bulging, and began to whimper slightly. Carrot Top jerked him out his predicament with an elbow to the side.
"Er...Tirek will never find us here, oh faithful Technicolor. But I fear if we do not find shelter, we shall surely waste away"
Mayor Mare gave him an encouraging wink and Carrot Top spun round to face the audience, unveiling her headscarf and smiling to the crowd who gave some light applause.
"Fear not, oh gentle Woodwork. You and your lovely wife, Dandelion, shall surely find help soon. Come. We are tired and here we must rest until we have the strength to continue on"
"Ow...." Derpy murmured "Um..." She was struggling. It was plain to see. But not just with her lines "What if no help comes at all? We are...oh...far from the Flutter Valley...no land was quite like it...we wanted for nothing...but-ngh...but...now..."
Sensing something awry, Carrot Top interrupted.
"Lie here and rest, dear friends. And hold out hope. I may not be from the old Valley where all life flourished and smiles never faded but I know that as long as we value hope and friendship then anypony can achieve anything. But for now we must rest" She gestured for them to lie down. Written Script lay flat on his back uneasily and made unconvincing snoring noises. Derpy, meanwhile, curled up on the cart, her breathing coming slow and steady.
Bright, hovering lanterns began to glow behind them as the huge figure of Megan the Mysterious appeared in their dreams.


"I still don't understand why I have to be the legs in this stupid suit!" Bonbon protested, whispering to her acting partner as she stepped precariously in the model's great silts, her friend sitting on her shoulders in an awkward position.
"You've got better balance. And both of us would regret you sitting on my horn" Lyra worked the levers above Bonbon "Besides, I know how these humans talked. I've done studies. This is my chance to prove to everypony what they were really like!"
A benefit of her design included the chance to freely read off her script within her controlling compartment.
"Hear me, gentle four-legged beings!" Lyra beckoned "For I am Megan of the Lost World of Five-Fingered Ones. Behold my flat face and complex system of extremities!"
	"Lo! By the semi-transparent wings of the Summerwings! I do believe I see an otherworldly guide come to bring us tidings of great joy!" 	Carrot Top leapt to her hooves and made a show of surprise as the figure of Megan slowly pointed one of her fingers in the direction of Ponyville.
"That way, my dear friends, lies salvation" Megan's voice, projected through several speaker devices, sounded deep, booming and almost ghostly "Close by lies a humble town where you shall bear your precious foal. You know this to be true, for I am Megan the Mysterious, Avatar of Happiness! Ancient and glorious am I!" And the figure raised her arms and breathed fire before striding off towards the farm on the outskirts of town. The audience cheered and whooped at the spectacle.
"Well..." Bonbon said inside the towering puppet "That went well. I didn't know you fitted a flamethrower in here"
Lyra was quiet for a moment then spoke with a hint of worry.
"I didn't" She looked about, checking the emergency exits. She'd installed them in the eight places she believed humans to have stored their magic.
"I think we should leave the suit"
"Really?" Bonbon looked up at her friend with concern.
"This has happened before"


The next scene took place at the Cake's Bakery, setting the scene for the inn. Carrot Top, Written Script and Derpy Hooves arrived and were greeted with Mr Cake.
"Hail, oh friendly innkeeper" Carrot Top proclaimed, bowing "We are travellers from a far-off land. Is there any room in your inn for three journey-worn ponies?"
"Er..." Mr Cake was stumbling at his lines. Behind the door of the bakery, Mrs Cake and a small filly could be heard chattering.
"Is is my line yet? Is it? Is it?"
"Not yet, dear, just give him a moment"
"Ah, my apologies, poor travellers, but there is no room at the inn...er...because of the derby...or something"
There was a pause. Far into the crowd, somepony coughed.
"I don't hear anything"
"Wait a little more, dear, I'll just get them going again"
Mrs Cake poked her head out the door and whispered the next line.
"Everything okay? The next line's 'I am heavy with child'"
"Oh yeah, also I am heavy with child!" Mr Cake exclaimed "So, you know, kind of inconvenient"
Carrot Top, Mrs Cake and Mayor Mare all facehoofed in frustration. Celestia, feeling the need to help, gave a gentle but meaningful nod to Derpy. The grey pegasus piped up.
"Oh...ooh...I mean...I am heavy with child!"
"Is it my line now?"
"Yes, darling, go for it!"
And with that, a young pink filly hopped up on the windowsill and joyfully contributed the line her adopted father had given her.
"In that case, we have room for you in the barn!"
The eager filly was treated with a great deal of amusement from the audience who clapped soundly and gave off a chorus of 'Aww's as she grinned and bowed to all before her. The bakers smiled proudly at her as Mrs Cake gently took her off the windowsill.
"Well done, Pinkie" she cooed "You were absolutely fantastic"
Mayor Mare, subtly mopping at her brow, beamed before the crowd.
"And so they made their way to the barn to prepare for the birth of their wondrous child"
"Ooooh...I can feel it coming" Derpy groaned as she was carted away.
"Yes, that's good, keep it up" Carrot whispered.
"No I really can!" The grey pegasus was whimpering and sweating profusely which caused wide appreciation for her acting from all who witnessed it.
"She's jolly convincing isn't she" said a stallion in the crowd that Celestia knew by voice to be Fancy Pants.
Yet she sensed all was not well. And not just within the play.
"Unknown to the travellers and indeed the rest of the town, a wicked grey gargoyle, Verrucas, spied on the poor helpless ponies"
A lantern lit up before Ponet, who stood in the alleyway, looking sombre. One might have thought he was about to burst into song.
"Aha! I spy the transgressors who would dare defy the almighty Tirek!" he waffled "Ah, at such times, I am reminded of my boyhood in Surneigh. Romping with my schoolchums in the fens and spinneys..."
"But he had no time to waste!" the Mayor interrupted "For he knew well that if he was late in bringing his master news, his punishment would be unspeakable"
Ponet opened his mouth, shut it, glowered at the Bonnycorn narrator and scuttled off.
He would get his chance later.


"Well, bah the silver sands a' glitterin' Kitalpha, it sure is a real good thing this barn 'ere is so hospitable" Apple Fritter, dressed in shimmering Saddle Arabian cloth, said at length.
"Indeed. Ah should say, bah the cloudy mountain of Qilin Wang, the folk keepin' such a barn are truly hard-workin' ponies" Golden Delicious added, his Chineighse straw hat shaking as he nodded. Mayor Mare rolled her eyes.
Trust them to take a little too much pride in their family matriarch's contributions.
"It is good that we may be among friends and gentle ponies in our hour of need" Carrot Top said outside the barn, conversing with travellers with suspiciously farmpony-sounding accents. Woodwork and Dandelion were offstage but, now-and-again, the pained moan of Derpy could be heard.
"But, fellow ponies, is there any danger lurking in these lands?"
"That thar' be!" Fritter answered "For they do say, bah the serpentine scimitars o' the Oryx Dervishes, these 'ere outskirts are stalked bah a pair o' wicked temptresses"
"And oh bah the jade visage of the Spring Temple Panda, there the evil creatures be!" Golden Delicious gestured frantically towards a clearing as the Spa Ponies leapt into view.
A white unicorn with bright ruby-quartz goggles eagerly switched on a small portable music speaker and began to bob her head to the catchy pop-classic Y.M.L.P by The Village Ponies as the two mares danced in a routine clearly inspired by one of Sapphire Shores' numbers.
Aloe and Lotus were dressed in tight-fitting black leather jumpsuits, open in several suggestive places, with prosthetic bat wings and long, devilish tails. Both wore heavy make-up and shimmering wigs. Aloe's was auburn, Lotus's was black. When their dancing had subsided, the two Enchantresses proclaimed their entrance.
"We're the Enchantresses of Gloom" Lotus began.
"And we like bringing pain and doom" Aloe continued.
"You can't stop our little game" 
"For Ri'Kah and Dra'Ghal is our name...s"
The crowd, and indeed the cast, took in the sight. The Spa ponies had kept their planning and preparations largely to themselves and this was appearing quite hard to take in.
Mayor Mare was certain that the suits they were wearing weren't appropriate for an all-ages pantomime.
"We are villains who like to rhyme"
"In fact we do it all the time"
"And if you don't think we look hot"
"We'll shove your friendship up your nose!"
Lotus closed her eyes in resignation and hissed to her sister.
"You were supposed to say..."
"Sister! Not in front of the foals!"
"I'm not the one who bought these costumes!"
"Look, let's just get on with it!"


Carrot Top shook her head, trying very hard to move on from the spectacle before her.
"Er...Zounds! These wicked enchantresses seek to lure away faithful Woodwork with their dreaded wiles and...um..." She found herself bestride the two Enchantresses' bodies who ran their hooves through her curly orange mane.
"Forget Woodwork, you're much more stunning"
"Indeed, you get our essence running"
"Er..." Carrot Top remembered that the lines where the Enchantresses attempted to lure Woodwork away from his wife had been some of the many given, instead, to her.
This was problematic. Particularly seeing as the Spa Ponies seemed to be taking the change in direction a little too well for her liking.
"Now play along and none of your lip"
"And don't make us get out the whip"
"OH NO!" Mayor Mare squeaked somewhat louder than she may have meant to. This fiasco needed to be prevented and quickly. Fortunately, she had come prepared.
"The evil Enchantresses have our heroes cornered! But you, the audience, can save them!"
The Cakes and Apples brought up several tables, cluttered with pies, tarts, flans and soufflés. But they weren't for eating.
"Quickly! Throw the Enchantresses off their trail...by throwing these!"
The young colts and fillies in the audience needed no persuasion as they swiftly gathered up the desserts in both hooves and took aim. 	As Carrot Top flung herself out of the firing line, the Enchantresses stood stock-still with horror.
"Wait a minute" Lotus squealed "Was this in the script?"
"I don't know" Aloe whimpered "Mine sort of ripped"
"...stop rhyming, sister"
"OPEN FIRE!" The hyperactive pink filly from the bakery sounded the volley as Ri'Kah and Dra'Ghal were pelted at every angle with the well-aimed pastries. The various pies and puddings, each one brimming with whipped cream and syrup, splattered them utterly until they were quite literally covered in the stuff. Apple Fritter lassoed the two of them together and spun them round, turning them into a rotating target for the young ones. There they spun, round and round, plastered with sugary muck, unable to fully comprehend their situation, until the tables were empty and the sound of cheering and giggling of foals echoed throughout Ponyville. Carrot Top finished the show by taking a large cauldron of purple icing-sugar that Bulk Bicep had labelled 'Smooz' and dumping it over their heads, leaving the two of them wearing it like an oversized hat.
"Hooray, hooray, the wicked enchantresses have been driven off thanks to our brave, intrepid audience! Thank you all! And let's hear it for Aloe and Lotus!" she proclaimed and gave the two of them a light push offstage to a raucous applause. The two of them unsteadily tottered two and fro, lassoed and blind, the cauldron stuck on their heads as they struggled to keep balanced. As it hit a tree with a resounding 'Dong!', they fell on their rumps and sat, dazed and bewildered, tied together, covered literally from head to hoof in pies and crowned with the pot of lilac ooze.
It had definitely not been a good day for their dignity.
They both found themselves muttering the same thing at each other.
"This was your idea!"


"Well, that went...okay" Written Script, ironic given his name, struggled for words as he peered out the barn door they waited behind.
"Oh...it hurts!"
"Yes, Derpy, very good. It's alright, we're offstage now. Sheesh, those enchantresses didn't know what hit 'em!"
"Doctor..." the gray pegasus whimpered "I need...Doctor..."
"It's okay, Derpy, we're not on for another few minutes" Written Script tore his gaze away from the peek in the barn door and turned to the Mother Dandelion who was lying on her back, her legs apart, and gasping for air.
"D-Derpy?" The Father Woodwork shook his head in bemusement "It's great that you're getting into the part and all but wait until..."
"SCRIPT! IT'S COMING! IT'S REALLY COMING!" Derpy yelled, trying to be heard over the applause outside.
"Wh-what?" Tentatively, the unicorn bent down and checked her, peering between her legs. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
"Oh...my...gosh"
And he collapsed, comatose, on the floor.
'Well this is no better' Derpy thought, shutting her eyes tight as another contraction ripped through her body.
The pain was unbearable, worse than anything she'd ever experienced. It wasn't like hitting her head or crashing into things. This was from inside. She was in agony. And her foal might be too.
'Doctor, where are you?!' She was screaming in her mind, too pained and scared to make a noise out loud.
'I need you! Doctor!'