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// Legends are Never Free From Scrutiny, Part 1 
// Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess 
// by Tired Old Man 
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Dear Princess Celestia,


After a year of magical maladies plaguing my school thanks to your land’s Equestrian magic, I thought I could escape it this week. I encouraged some funding for a camping trip to take me, Luna and a fair portion of the students away to the Everfree forest, away from worrying about an entire front entrance of the school building exploding or massive tears in space-time leading to your world appearing beneath their feet.


I wish I could escape all of the singing, but we both know how impossible that is for me. But surely I could get away from magic for just one measly week in a perfectly normal, not enchanted forest.


I could have had a great time, reminiscing about the days of old where Luna and I played in the lake, built a sundial she hated, went hiking in the woods, listening to Luna gripe about how ‘useful’ a sundial was at night, roast marshmallows by a campfire, and argue over whether or not night-vision goggles were a better camp gift than solar-powered lanterns. Good times.


Except your Equestrian magic was there. AGAIN. If I thought the magic was bad enough destroying my school, wrecking my nostalgic camping grounds hurt me right in my childhood! Roots and vines creeping all over the totem pole, lodge and gazebo! It even nearly destroyed the sundial, much to my sister’s delight!


Why? Why does your world’s magic keep meddling with my world, even in places where I’d never think it would show up?! Who would even remotely guess the magic came from seven magical geodes sitting in a cave in the middle of the rock quarry? A cave, mind you, that didn’t exist in any capacity the last time I came here! I even doubt it existed when the magic troubles happened at my school, since Gloriosa never had those geodes in her possession until this month when Filthy wanted to foreclose the property.


Luna and I had a very long talk with her about everything she did. It was mostly about the camp’s unusual financial situation with Filthy Rich and a little about the sundial, although Luna will tell you that’s a lie.


Now, it’s bad enough that this cave appeared out of nowhere within the past month, who would guess AGAIN that those seven geodes just happened to perfectly line up with seven of the most magically gifted students attending my school, one of which a transfer student, with matching colors and anime-style outfit transformations and everything? How does any of this make sense at all?! Who or what put them there, and why now?


You have to know something about all of this, Celestia. You must! Or if you don’t know, you know someone that does! There’s no conceivable way this much magical nonsense can manifest itself without recently interacting with your world somehow. And I’m worried it’s going to get worse. I can’t explain it, but ever since Twilight turned into that Midnight monstrosity and we began communicating with each other, I’m worried that those tears so close to the portal might… make things phenomenally worse than they are now.


I need answers, Celestia. Even if they’re just wild guesses and asspulls, I want to hear your thoughts on all this magical madness.


Oh, and I need help figuring out why my hands are currently scalding. They heated our door handle so hot they burned Luna’s hand when she tried coming in a few moments after I came home. I’m currently writing this letter with oven mitts for sake of not burning the journal.


I swear if I have magical powers as a result of all this chaos, I’m going to burn the house down.


I really wish that was just a metaphor.


Awaiting your reply,


Principal Celestia