Dressed to Steal

by Tatsurou


Death of Legend

I wasn't really aware of most of this, as Mom and Dad were both very careful to 'protect' me from the situation at hand. I didn't learn about it until later, from reading about it in Dad's journals. Of course, now I understand both why they did it and what was going on, and it makes sense. Still, learning that they had to make the choice to actively destroy the machine that brought me to them - and thus being my only way home - wasn't exactly pleasant. Still, they took good care of me afterwards, so I can hardly blame them.

The destruction of the portal was comparatively easy as opposed to going after Seft. Uncle Bentley was able to use a slingshot to place the tiny explosives, and a well timed detonation left the portal device so much scrap. Uncle Bentley made sure to gather that scrap after it was all over, to prevent reverse engineering by unsavory elements.

Dad confronted Seft...and found himself in difficulty.


Sly leapt back as Seft once more struck forward with his tail stinger, nearly grazing his arm. This battle was not going well. Seft had chosen a battleground that had nothing hanging from the ceiling or sticking up from the floor, no dangerous hazards to lead him into, and no closing doors to trap anyone with. It was, in fact, the plainest chamber in the entire facility, with only one square platform in the center covered in colored tiles that didn't appear to do anything directly under the skylight. Seft had made his way there in a calm manner the moment the portal device had been destroyed.

And now Sly found himself hard pressed. In order to evade the strikes of tail or pincer, he was forced to leap around, demonstrating his superior agility and evasion. Seft, on the other hand, let his natural armor take the brunt of any blow Sly managed to land with his cane, and his six legs made it exceptionally difficult to trip him up due to how he was able to distribute his weight. Sly was forced to expend a great deal of energy while Seft could take it easy, and wait for him to wear out.

"So you see it now," Seft commented as Sly got some distance and paused, taking a breath. "You understand the purpose of this attrition chamber."

"Attrition chamber?" Sly asked playfully as he got back into a combat stance. "Interesting name."

"Indeed," Seft confirmed. "You saw the design of my base. Brute strength cannot reach this far, nor technology. Only speed, stealth, and cunning would allow someone to get this far, to reach me here. And one who relies on such abilities would not be able to penetrate my natural armor with their weapons, and would be forced to try and wear me down with blunt force trauma." He smiled softly, wickedly. "In truth, Cooper, this room is a trap...originally set for your father."

"What?" Sly gasped out as he barely managed to dodge the next strike of pincer. "How do you know my father?"

"Only by reputation," Seft explained calmly. "The whole criminal underground knows the legend of the Cooper Clan, those who skate on the surface of the abyss, hunting those who thrive in its depths. We all knew that if our criminal enterprises became advanced enough, a member of that Clan would come and lay us low, take the fruits of our dark tree, and cast us out of the abyss to burn in the light of the law." He skittered to the side to avoid another of Sly's strikes. "At least, that was the case before the Fiendish Five decided to change things."

Sly suppressed his need to question eagerly as he flipped out of the way of yet another tail strike. "Fiendish Five?" he asked calmly as he landed on Seft's back, putting his cane in front of the scorpion man's neck in an attempt to strangle him. "Who are-"

Sly felt like his spine was being pulled out at his pelvis as Seft ignored the cane at his throat and caught the tip of Sly's tail in a pincer, yanking him off his back. "I don't intend to give you anymore information than that," Seft stated bluntly as he held Sly upside down. "They are the ones who killed your father, and stole and scattered your family tome. They bragged about it in the underground...and if you survive this day, you will have that to go on." Before Sly could get his balance, Seft proceeded to flip him like a flapjack, slamming him into the floor repeatedly until the bit of tail fur in his grip gave way, sending Sly flying across the room. "Unfortunately, I don't think you'll survive this day. Pity."

Sly groaned as he pushed himself back to his feet, fighting against the pain in his body. "Why...a pity?" he gasped out as he got back upright.

"Because you are a pale shadow of your father, or any ancestor," Seft mused regretfully. "I built this chamber to do battle with a legend. I began my conquest to draw out your line. I wanted to see just what the legend was made of, so I could bring it down or be brought down by it. That is what a legend deserves as an end...not an ambush in his own home before the eyes of his own son."

Sly's hands clenched around his cane, his eyes hardening. "You seem to know a lot about it."

"Of course," Seft agreed. "I wanted to see what your legacy was capable of. It's a pity you came across me now, however. Having never seen the full contents of that book, you possess only natural talent and a few skills, a fraction of what a true Cooper should be capable of. I had hoped to test myself against that." He stalked carefully forward, his stinger raised high. "However, I will still get a chance to see it after you fall."

"Oh?" Sly gasped out, staggering as he lowered his cane, the hook pointed towards the ground.

"Yes," Seft confirmed. "Once I've dealt with you and recovered the alien, I'll devote part of my resources and my personal attention to the destruction of the Fiendish Five and the recovery of the Thievius Raccoonus...and then use it to train the agents that will invade that other world for me. So rejoice, your father will be avenged." As he finished speaking, he struck with his stinger.

Spinning desperately, Sly brought the hook of his cane up and wrapped it around the base of the stinger. Rushing forward, he pulled with all his might against the curve of the tail. Unable to stop it in time, Seft's own stinger became embedded in his chest, punching a hole in his natural armor.

Seft let out a hiss as he backhanded Sly away, carefully extracting his stinger as he staggered back. "Yes!" he crowed excitedly. "This is the legend I wanted to see! Even as untrained as you are, your rage brings out the true Cooper! Show me more of who you are!" Standing upright, he charged in.

Sly once again found himself hard pressed, as Seft now began attacking much more aggressively. He was already weak from the battering he'd taken earlier, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. When he aimed strikes at the hole Seft's stinger had left in his armor, Seft actively deflected, showing he both knew the weakness and was compensating for it. Sly needed to find a way to take the warlord down, fast and hard.

Several reports caught his attention and gave him a way, as Seft leapt back to dodge blasts from Carmelita's stun cannon. "I told you those rounds are far too slow, Inspector," Seft chided gently.

Noticing the smirk on Carmelita's face, Sly's eyes went to the projectiles fired. The first one seemed too round...too shiny...

Reacting instinctively, he leapt up and hooked his cane around the metal core he hadn't consciously realized was in that projectile, obviously made by Bentley for just this purpose. Letting gravity do his work, he slammed the projectile into the crook of Seft's neck. As the scorpion man staggered back, momentarily stunned, Sly lunged in and got the tip of his cane's hook into the hole. Putting his shoulder behind it, he was able to force the entire hook into Seft's inner flesh before kicking the end of the cane, forcing it in further.

Seft bellowed in pain as he staggered back onto the central platform. As Carmelita rushed to Sly's side to back him up, Seft began to chuckle. "So this is what a legend is capable of..." he growled out. Reaching up, he grabbed hold of the cane embedded in his chest and tore it free, heedless of the damage to himself this caused as he held the cane up in his pincer before grabbing hold of it with the other. "And this is how a legend should end..." His voice trailed off as a thoughtful expression crossed his face. "But if this is but the tip of the true legend...what could you do with your legacy at your disposal?"

A sudden grin crossed Seft's face, and he tossed the cane aside. "I will see you again some day, Cooper...when you have truly come into your own." He slammed the tips of his six legs onto six colored squares of the platform, and it suddenly sprang upward, propelling him into the sky where a high speed glider caught him, flying him off into the distance.

Sly quickly put his hand to his ear. "Tell me you're tracking him, Bentley!"

"Sorry Sly," Bentley replied regretfully. "I couldn't track him. His flight path is too erratic. By the time I was able to get a bead on him, he was out of range..."


So Seft got away, along with the knowledge of how to rebuild the portal. And Dad barely got away alive. Not exactly the best way that could have gone...