• Published 29th May 2015
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Fallout Equestria: Space Captain Andromeda - Weavers of Dreams



A pre-apocalyptic superweapon awakens to find a desolate wasteland and a stack of comic books. What will become of this new wanderer with a true vendetta?

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Chapter Six: The Checkered Smile

Andromeda may have been angry, but she wasn't about to do a second-rate job on repairing the bridge. First, she created a large DMC buzz saw and cut down several large trees, and then levitated them over to the ravine. It wasn't that hard, considering Ministry Mare Twilight had told her the suit might let her lift a few train cars. All that really showed her was that her magic alone was quite weak. Surely there were ponies who could lift great objects without enhancements.

After laying a wide load of the logs across, she began clipping the branches off. Then she took out some more trees and promptly cut them up into large boards, which she layered atop of each others in a crisscross pattern upon the logs. Then she created a drill and began drilling holes all the way through the boards and logs. Since she didn't know how to cut square holes, and since round pegs would take to long, she just drove the square pegs into the round holes, creating a super tight grip that wouldn't come loose for centuries. With that, there came a bridge, much sturdier than its predecessor. But Andromeda had started to get into it.

Never really having had a chance to play with the matrixes, she was starting to get a little creative. She drilled some large holes along the sides of the bridge, then drove poles through them. Between the poles, she crafted a railing system so that foals wouldn't fall off, and then set about cutting notches into the tops so she could insert the narrowed ends of logs she was using for beams into them. Not really sure how to do anything fancy, she had simply cut the poles on one side short to create a lean-to. Then she drilled more holes through the beams, to slide stripped branches through to create a network she then wove uncut branches through. She found that part to be quit easy, after having lot of practice with tiny metal strands in space. By sundown, she had completed a rather fantastic bridge.

Which was why she was furious when she turned to find a locked gate behind her.

"Bucking piles of manure-born strumpet sewage, let me in!"

The earth pony stallions and mares of Promise's guard shook their heads. "No," was the general, paraphrased, retort. "You're trouble, lady," said one of them. "We don't need no stinkin' overpowered unicorns in Promise."

The name suddenly clicked inside of Mercy's head. Promise was home to a large group of the Filii Terram, children of the earth. Earth pony supremacists, and on the same day she was mentally reviewing their once-upon-a-time enslavement to the unicorns and pegasi. Sure, the pegasi and unicorns who were racist could be absolute uppity snobs and blowhards, but the earth pony racists were unnerving jerks.

"I fixed your bridge," she shouted back at them. Then she pointed to it with a hoof. "It's even better than the one you morons built." A couple mares nodded, but didn't say anything.

Some of the traders were beginning to leave, giving the cursing mare a wide berth after dropping off their armbands at the gate. Some of them were quite stunned at the work she had done in so short a time, mostly because they expected her to just keep on going and not come back. Really, they were more surprised by the fact she was trying to get back in than anything else.

"Just go away already," a stallion groaned. Normally, they would just shoot at a pony who was so annoyingly persistent, but after her demonstration earlier today, they weren't taking any chances on antagonizing this strangely-armored, blaster-wielding, crazy mare. "No one wants you around."

"But I'm hungry," Andromeda complained loudly. Several sandwiches bounced off her helmet.

"Happy? Now go eat them on the road."

"But I don't have anything to carry them with," Andromeda pointed out. Earth ponies seemed to think magic solved everything for unicorns. A pair of leather saddlebags landed close by.

"Hey, that was mine," a guard shouted out.

Andromeda sighed and levitated the saddlebags onto her back, deposited the sandwiches into one side, and the blasters into the other, along with the rolled-up restraints. "Fine," she muttered as she turned to leave.

She tried to walk alongside the caravan that was leaving Promise, but they weren't too friendly with her either, after having to wait until sundown to be able to leave. Apparently Promise only allowed ponies with enough money to stay the night, and those who couldn't afford it wanted to get out long before sunset. This is what she gathered from their mumblings.

She kept off to the side, almost not on the road at all, ears laid back and hooves dragging as she listened to the hurtful things they were saying when they thought she couldn't hear. Eventually, she didn't even bother to look at the other ponies anymore, and just kept on staring at the ground and walking slowly. She let them pass her by, until at last saw the final wagon started to pass.

"Alone again," she muttered to herself, watching as the back end of the wagon vanished into the dark. "Great, just great, Andromeda. Crash a multi-billion bit rocket, blow-up a bridge, shoot up a town, get banned from same town... it's been a bad day. But... why don't I feel tired?"

---SUBJECT STATUS: DECEASED---

"Will you just shut up?"

The road was long and dark, thankfully she had her magic to light the way. The further along the road she got, the more and more she felt her heart sink, her legs started to feel heavy. Though not from exhaustion, rather, it was emotional exasperation. She eventually staggered to the side of the road and took a seat next to a mushroom-covered, misshapen stump. There she took off her saddlebags and opened the side with the sandwiches.

"Peppy, how do I take off my helmet?" she asked, trying to get the latch again, but it was still stuck. She fumbled with it again, tugging harder, but it was still stuck. She growled and hit it with a hoof. She picked herself back up off the ground after knocking the wind out of herself with the earth pony talismans. Which reminded her again of Promise.

"Stupid helmet. Stupid town. Stupid Filii Terram. Stupid... this could go on for hours if I try to find stupid things." It was then that Peppy came up with a solution.

---USE DIGITAL MAGIC CUBES TO BORE A HOLE---

"What?" she demanded in disbelief. The pipbuck was designed to keep all important assets of the trip intact. Now he, no, it, was telling her to do the opposite. "Com'on, I'm not about to destroy expensive Ministry property. I mean, for crying out loud, I've done enough as it is."

---107.8 BILLION BITS WORTH OF DAMAGE---

Andromeda's mouth dropped open. She could hardly wrap her head around that. How could the ministries have made that disappear without anypony noticing? Well, the zebras did notice, and ruined everything. Her ears folded back and she swallowed a lump in her throat.

---NEGLIGIBLE COMPARED TO THE LIFE OF SPACE CAPTAIN ANDROMEDA---

Her eyes went wide and she stared at the words. "Peppy. I thought you were supposed help me maintain my sanity. It seems as though..."

---PLAYING REASSURING RECORDING 211---

She listened with rapt attention to Ministry Mare Twilight's voice.

"Hello, Andromeda. This is Ministry Mare Twilight Sparkle. This one of several... oh, that many? Really? Anyway, over two hundred recordings now. These are, as I've been saying over and over in this recording booth, ugh, little reassuring messages I am putting into your pipbuck so that if you feel like you've messed up, merely tell your pipbuck what went wrong, and it will try to match your problem with the closest recording. So, here goes. Number two-eleven.

"Remember, Mercy, nothing you do is your fault on this mission. As long as you're in space, the only ponies to blame are us. The Ministries. I'm not just saying that to calm you down, or make you feel better, that's just supposed to be a bonus. You see, you're only here to provide the single most valuable element of Hope. The pony element.

"To clarify, you, Mercy Andromeda, are tasked as the epicenter, brain, and infallible master key of the entire rocketship. The entire layout of the rocketship, which has been laid out so a child could operate it, was designed around our observations of you during your training. We made sure that everything, down to the very ergonomics, was suited just for you. We went with you instead of that six-year-old for obvious reasons. You are more than capable of a rational choice if anything were to happen, even if that were to dissolve our entire project. We built the controls for a pony, for anypony to use, because we know that a pony is more trustworthy than a computer. I'd trust you over that pipbuck any day. So, remember, we built the ship, and if it requires a super-expensive failure to get you back, then... then that's okay. It simply means that we, the Ministries, failed. And besides, your pipbuck has blue prints and advice on how to fix things, I'm certain everything will be alright. Well, here's hoping you never have to hear this message. Bye."

---END RECORDING---

Andromeda gave a thankful sniff. That was a wonderful thing to hear. Even before her ill-fated launch, they were more concerned with her. It was really shaping her opinion on them, even if she did spend six months with them, she never really knew exactly what they thought of her. Though it seemed overly convenient for being around yet another trip down Guilt Boulevard. "Why wasn't I shown this one earlier, up in space, Peppy? You know... around the time I tried to kill myself."

---SURVIVAL WAS IMPERATIVE---

"Ah," she said with a nod of understanding. Then she nickered. "You know what, Peppy? You're finally making sense."

---ILLOGICAL---THIS UNIT WAS MADE BY MINISTRY MARE TWILIGHT SPARKLE NOT MINISTRY MARE PINKIE PIE---

She chuckled and generated a saw of the micro DMCs. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Ministry Mare. I pray I can see you again soon. After a little detour." She brought the blade close and held her breath as she began to cut a hole large enough for her to slip a sandwich in. It didn't take long. The micro DMCs were stronger than the force of a small-arms pistol, and had perfect points, just right for cutting a clean hole in the helmet. She also generated a little shield of her own magic to protect her face from the flying bits of transparent iron. She almost went into a drunken stupor when she caught her first whiff of fresh air.

Admittedly, clover and cheese on rye had never been her favorite. But after not having eaten in a little over two weeks, she figured it to be the absolute best thing ever. She rationalized that it was the gas-induced coma and talismans that kept her alive all this time. That made a whole lot more sense than simply being labeled "deceased".

She continued to eat the sandwiches one by one, until she suddenly found that the last one she had wouldn't fit through the hole. She looked at it curiously and noted that it was much smaller now. Looking at the piece she had cut out and set next to her, she saw that it had grown smaller as well.

"Peppy," she began, not knowing what to think, "why is my suit healing?"

---UNKNOWN MAGICAL SUBSTANCE KEEPING SUIT TOGETHER---THREAT LEVEL: NONE---

"Never mind," she sulked, generating another saw. This time she cut a much larger hole and reached back for her sandwich, only to discover it was no longer there. She looked around for a moment, but couldn't see anything. Shrugging, she patted her stomach in contentment and laid down on her back to look up at the stars while contemplating whether or not to continue on her way, or wait till morning.

"Got anymore, girly?"

Andromeda started with a yelp, leaping up and scrambling on her hooves until she found the voice's owner. She froze and gulped at what she saw.

The stump she had been sitting next to this entire time had not been a stump at all, but a rather incredible form of camouflage. The one utilizing this camouflage was a unicorn stallion, and that was all she could tell about him underneath all of the shrubbery and bark stuck to him. Even his eyes were hidden behind some kind of magic. He had been sitting there, perfectly still, watching her this entire time.

"Nope," was all Andromeda could manage to say, staring back at the stallion. It was a stupid thing to say, she knew, but what else could she do. She didn't want to insult some crazy mustang (a pony gone feral). She scooted back a bit when he stepped towards her, sniffing the air.

"You smell nice," he said, smiling, displaying teeth that had been filed into serrated points. It was horrifyingly fascinating that his teeth were rather clean and well kept. "I wonder... do you taste like you smell?"

Mercy chuckled and took another couple steps backwards. "Heehee, been out in the woods a while? You know, some ponies might be a little disconcerted by your acting skills. You know, maybe if you tone it down a little bit. I mean, you know, the Filii Terram are just up the road, and they seem a little... trigger happy."

The stallion paused and tilted his head in confusion. This mare, obviously a little crazy, was stupid as well. Why wasn't she running away? He liked the chase. Perhaps she just needed a little motivation. He lunged at her, sticking his muzzle inside the hole in her helmet, purposely missing her face by a hairsbreadth. That got what he wanted out of her.

Andromeda let out a terrified shriek and bolted, grabbing her saddlebags in her magic and carrying them in front of her. Her body went into autopilot, rushing into the forest where she might have a better chance of eluding the stallion, but this also meant she might get lost.

No, wait. Peppy had a navigation system. She would be fine.

The stallion's hooves were nimble and light, knowing every inch of the forest, unstopped by any obstruction. He had hunted many creatures in his life, even snapping a few birds out of the air just for fun. The joy was in the hunt, the chase, the fear in his prey's eyes as he ran the strength out of them, and then drained them of their life. He had the advantages of experience and skill. But for the life of him, how in Tartarus was this mare getting away?

He eventually just stopped to catch his breath, and look down at the tracks that the mare had left behind, the only things he been able to follow after losing sight of her. It was a deep track for such a small hoof, displaying an uncanny strength within her, yet clumsy, as a lot of the prints just dragged. There would be no way for him to catch her alone. A smile crossed his face and his eyes narrowed wickedly. He was never alone.

Tilting his head back, he unleashed a great howl into the night sky. Elsewhere, a dozen beings in the shadows lifted their heads and twisted their ears in the direction of the howl, and waited. Another howl, long and clear cut through the darkness. Three of the creatures instantly ran towards the sound of the howl. The others laid their heads back down and rested.

These new players were smaller than the stallion, but made up for what the lacked in size with their own specializations. They ran up into the trees in silence, and began bounding through the branches to leap to the next tree, and so on. Never missing a beat, and the only sound being the wind that whipped around them, and the occasional cracking limb. Like flying phantoms, they rushed to the call of their leader.

One climbed to the very top of a tree, in eagerness to see the prey. The moonlight fell upon it's form, illuminating pointed teeth surrounded by a purple and black checkered smiley face tattoo. Of course, all there was to see was trees and hilltops. But that didn't stop the creature from tilting its head back and cackling to the sky like a deranged clown. Two other equally insane cackles sounded out in response. The creature leapt from his perch and vanished into the foliage of another tree.