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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Now that the first major arc is finished, I think it's high time to jot down some ramble-y thoughts about my favorite FoE sidestory.
For starters, I love Snap and Tailwind. They're still obviously very attached to home, but you can see the doubts slowly starting to creep in. Their motivations are nice and personal, and even better, specific. It seems like most Fallout Equestria fics tend to fall into the trap of having a protagonist with very vague and general desires (Project Horizons and Heroes being two big examples), so it's nice to have characters that are more relateable. Crafter, Bernard, and Fade are interesting, but they haven't really come into their own yet for me, but I'm sure they'll get there eventually.
And going hand in hand with the personal character motivations, the adventure to find family is a welcome change from grand adventures to save cities or the world from a giant and overwhelming threat. Not everyone needs to be a Littlepip, and it's a nice change of pace from the usual sidestory.
The little touches with pegasus society and mannerisms, especially the Buccaneer Blaze from the first chapter, have all been great. Pegasi feel like ponies, but just a bit alien compared to their ground-bound cousins, making some very nice moments of culture shock.
I can't wait to see more of this.
This was amazing. Wish I could've read it hours ago, but I was busy.
I love this story so much :P
So fast! Thanks guys, I love to see these comments. Makes what I do feel very worthwhile, and I really, really do appreciate that you take the time to jot something down, long or short.
5991400
I love comments like this. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Making a non-combat finale to a major arc... it was a little daunting, though I kinda did it to myself. Those are all big things I've wanted to focus on, I'm glad I managed to convey them properly!
Certainly, a lot of stories tend to assume that you need big events in order to be taken seriously... when simply going into detail on the daily struggles of life, I find, is often quite an enjoyable sort of adventure. Probably why I find a lot of appeal in things like the ABC's of FOE project...
5992966
Man, your comments always make me smile. They're simple, but you're always in that first wave of people that read it. I'm always happy to please.
5991697
I've gotta admit, I really don't understand that. Love the enthusiasm though.
Holy crap. That was good. More. Moar! MOAR!
Okay! That was a REALLY strong start! And you're using music! Sweet mercy I am totally into this story haha
6093179
Thanks for the reply, glad you like it.
I'm also glad you like Wrenchy's perspective - it always feels tricky to make him fall into more of an... appreciable level of useless, rather than seem like a drag character to readers.
>Killed Nosedive too early
In part, I was worried about the pacing for the first chapters. If I ever went back, at this point I would consider starting that chapter on the Raptor, before they actually headed out on the Vertibuck... I dunno. That would be the point to add content, if there ever was one.
Ultimately, I was worried about presenting a lot of content and worldbuilding over too long of a period, before dropping them into the setting they would ultimately be spending the vast majority of the storyline in. Nosedive's screentime certainly suffered for that.
In regards to her stance on the Enclave... there are some strong arguments towards her not being told everything. But the thing is, and what still nags at her mind - "Why?" The flipside of that question is that there could, just maybe, be valid reasons for what the Enclave did. She desperately wants what happened to them to have had a reason. What happened to her father, too. It's a big part of what drives her. I feel that the doubts need to be there for her to grow as a character, though the speed at which they come into play... yeah, that probably could have been tweaked.
>foreign language
That's something the editing team and myself have been very aware of, and I certainly don't plan to remove it - and on that note, I would love to find someone who DOES speak these languages. You mention French, and I'm a bit confused, because I haven't consciously used French - Latvian and Portuguese are certainly used, and I would love to bring a native speaker of those languages in, or even a passive knowledge of them... it would certainly help the legitimacy of those lines.
But yeah, not to deflect the point there, we've always harbored a worry that those languages are presented in a... less than perfect manor.
I'd have replied earlier, but I was too busy losing my mind in joy over the Bethesda E3 presentation.
Really enjoyed this chapter, I liked the tribute to the fallen scene. It just felt right to the characters.
I'm curious however, would Nosedive been allowed to take both of them as mates for population growth or has the mare to stallion ratio balanced since the war? I'm just curious as to the hope they had to be together, and I still think Tail could be pregnant with Nosedive's child. It certainly would be fitting for them.
6111124
Sorry for the late reply, if I don't get to these early it seems they kinda never happen. Considering it never actually became a relavent issue, I've thought about how they would have seen it working, at least as a concept.
So what is a fact from the original: additional birth allotments for serving members of the Enclave, yeah? It isn't elaborated on in detail with the original, but I put some thought into it. The question would be, is that worded, "One additional foal per family unit" or "One additional foal per serving member IN the family unit"? I was willing to lay my bet with the later. In short, were Snap n' Tail to end up committing to the kind of relationship they could have had with Nosedive somewhere down the line, while the multiple wives thing could have been a technical issue, or at least frowned upon, I imagine, the fact would remain that they would have benefitted from all three of their service incentives, so lots of kids between them. Or at least more than they would be able to have otherwise. Sort of an exploitable loophole that the Enclave is relatively cool with allowing to exist - they get long years of service out of three separate troopers, and at the end of the day, they'd be pretty cool with that, I think.
And as much as I hate to stifle story speculation, I feel obliged in this case, from an explanation standpoint - Nosedive always had a thing for Snap, and that is somewhat the long and short of it. Had the suggestion of a love triangle been suggested he would have been all for it, but his feelings for Tailwind were... I'm gonna go with platonic. Good friends, but the romantic connection there would have been a mutual liking of Snap, rather than for eachother - at least at the nucleus of the relationship. So it boils down to, if it could be rationalized that they both got drunk enough to not remember sleeping with Nosedive... Snap would have been the main candidate for that theory.
6148326 So essentially:
Nose loved Snap
Tail loved Snap
Snap loves both
Nose was just short of BFFs with Tail due to their military unit/mutual respect although they probably had a rivalry of sorts. In that case Tail likely would almost feel happy Nose was out of the picture yet simultaneous feel terrible for feeling that way and potentially worry Snap always loved him more thus being why he gave his life for them or more particularly Snap. I guess in sense putting Tailwind in a bit of a tailspin in terms of thinking.
6260775
Lasers are a tricky thing, I feel. The games fall into the stance of either you spec'd heavily into them and became a crit-based machine, or they are much as you described. I feel I've found a bit of a middleground, where from a narrative sense, either you get a hit on something very vital, or sustained fire on a target shows results. I feel that fits the mindset of the Enclave - low recoil, fast firing weapons, very flashy, with a chance of completely annihilating the target.
On the note of Garrotes, you are entirely correct - I may have failed to describe it accurately, but he was wearing an armoured bodyglove, just like the other two. It would have a slash and fire-resistant neckpiece as part of it, at least enough to stop the sort of instant-incapacitation of that sort of weapon. I kinda thought the chapter was getting a little long-winded for what it is, and decided to avoid going into further detail there.
6276676
Thanks, glad you like it!
To be honest, I don't think that was something I've ever had to think about. I mean, "You all" -> "Y'all" it... it just makes sense! Can't say I've noticed it being wrongly used, but I certainly wasn't looking for it, either.
I missed this story, and this chapter has so many good feels in it. You are an amazing writer Relentless...Fantastic work yet again.
Relentless
Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know I am enjoying the story so far (I just started chapter 7).
I love the character development... I especially feel bad for Crafter.. he seems so lost lol
Thanks for a great read!
Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)
6590004
Thank you very much! I didn't even know there was a facebook page til now, to be honest.
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>Crafter
You know, hearing that feels really good right about now. Because, there wasn't much of a way for you to know, but the next chapter's going to go into a lot of detail on a certain wrench horse. It won't be much longer, and I really wanna get it out before the 10th hits. So stay tuned for that one!
6595540 we're fairly new, please join us if you feel up for it! :D
I'm pretty sure it's impossible to aim with both eyes open when using iron sights and reflex('red dot'). With high magnification scopes it might be necessary, and holo is designed just for that. BTW pros say you start by practcing keeping the gun steady when pulling the trigger without aiming -as irrelevant it may be for ponies...
8387040
Not really, I’ve been in the army almost two years and I’ve always used both eyes on iron sights, CCO sights, and ACOG’s. Though for some reason I do find it kind of hard on the ACOG’s.