The land of Saddle Arabia, a land if oil and gold. destroyed by war with it's ex-ally Roam. follow the story of Terra, and her friends as they travel through the wasteland of Saddle Arabia
I think I found a little problem,
"What happened?" I asked. "You had hypothermia." the stallion responded. "I'm Ebrahim."
Every time you have a different person talking you should start a new paragraphHow that series of dialogue should go
"What happened?" I asked.You had hypothermia," the stallion responded. "I'm Ebrahim."
Also, the pace is to fast... Slow it down, flesh out the details. And most importantly continue to work on getting an editor and a proof-reader.
5286862 a family member of my edits the story for me but, thanks for the info about the spacing between the dialogue.
5286886 anything to help.
I think I found a little problem,
Every time you have a different person talking you should start a new paragraph
How that series of dialogue should go
Also, the pace is to fast... Slow it down, flesh out the details. And most importantly continue to work on getting an editor and a proof-reader.
5286862 a family member of my edits the story for me but, thanks for the info about the spacing between the dialogue.
5286886 anything to help.