Page generated in 0.07 seconds
Total duration
796 users online
460,159 hits today, 1,996,259 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hmmmm. A raider that desides to go good. The prologue confused me a bit at first but its a fresh way to start a story for sure. The only things I can see that are a problem is a few grammer errors. An interesting revalation as well but it came a mite early. Rushed.
You don't need to capitalized the "the" in front of words like Enclave or Wasteland. And wasteland doesn't have to be capitalized either (but it's not wrong to do so. Still I would recommend capitalizing it when you're not talking about the general area your characters are in right now, but about the wasteland as some kind of country. To be honest, I can't really explain it, I just think capitalizing "wasteland" doesn't look good.)
Nice story so far. An apparently ex-encalve pegasus who turned into a raider... that's unusual. Usually seeing the evil Enclave killing innocents leads ponies to want to help the innocents, not to continue slaughtering them, but... it's something different.