Impressive! I really liked this chapter. Loved the introduction with Gunsmoke. A few small things that stood out to me:

"It was not my decision. It was the decision of my master. His will is never to be questioned.." The mechanical voice's tone held a deadly serious tone.

His tone had a serious tone? The repetition of that word doesn't sound quite right.

Two large scars were located on either side of the mare’s face.

'were located' is sort of a boring way to describe it. Perhaps the scars 'ran down' or 'marred' either side of her face?

just maybe, there was some resemblance of good

I think that should be "semblance."

The end made me both laugh and feel sad at the same time. Nice work on that I really hope that the three of them start to learn some compassion, and it looks like with Sortilege there, they might see some character development in that direction.

I like how you're setting up Gunsmoke to be a potential rival/antagonist for the Three S's. (Now 4, I guess.)

However, I'm not sure if he's supposed to be a villain or just a morally neutral rival - he was stated to explicity enjoy murdering the innocents in stable 28, but he also seems to have a lot of compassion for others at different points. I'm not yet sure if this is an inconcistency in his character, but it didn't sit right with me completely. Other than that, I love how you're writing the characters so far.

The setup with this mysterious figure from Forb Mountain is really intriguing. Makes me look forward to finding out who it is and what's going on.

Only other thing is I feel like there's still a little too much telling instead of showing. It'd be nice to hear about character's backstories through dialogue or hints from their actions instead of the readers always just being directly told. This is more of a stylistic choice though, and the way you do it still works.

Hope I don't sound too negative here, because I'm certainly enjoying the story so far.

4949149 You don't sound too negative at all! I appreciate your input and I'm trying hard to apply all the things you're pointing out in my writing. I'm glad you're enjoying the story despite the mistakes. There's always gonna be mistakes and things that could be improved but with comments like yours I can at least work to improve myself. Thanks again for your input and I think I'll go back and fix a couple of the issues you pointed out :)