I have to say, apart from a few formatting things I would have done different, I really like this story. You could sum up a few of your split-up paragraphs which are just narration to larger ones which - in my personal opinion - look a bit better than many small paragraphs, but as I said: just a personal preference.
I have to say, apart from a few formatting things I would have done different, I really like this story. You could sum up a few of your split-up paragraphs which are just narration to larger ones which - in my personal opinion - look a bit better than many small paragraphs, but as I said: just a personal preference.
Keep up the good work.
4948009 Thank you, I appreciate all the feedback I can get to make the story more enjoyable!