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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yup. Dark.
I guess for starters I'll say that this is very well-written. Could do without all of the life-story exposition from back in Neighvada, but it's all cool. The character (I'll take it Jackboot is his name) seems very distant, almost condescending upon mere emotions that most would consider the norm (i.e. sentiment). And I'm not quite sure with his allegiance (good, bad, neutral) but he appears to possess the mindset of a sane raider, which makes me take interest in where you're going to develop him. What I mean is that I've seen the standard raider and the 'reformed' raider so I like the idea of one that presents himself with the capability of coherent thought; one completely cognizant of his evil behavior, but sees it as another day's work rather than sport. I almost don't like him, but you gave him just enough of a remorseful hindsight that he doesn't come off completely heartless.
This is only the first chapter and I noticed that you put up several others already. Either you're an incredibly fast writer or you've been preparing these for a while. Meh, either way, I'll just mosey onto the next one. And, as a follow up, I feel all giddy getting to be the first to press that little thumbs up button.
P.S. I see that this takes place with Project Horizons in mind. Is it set during the same timeline or...?
The opening chapter is a self-contained story in a way, a tale that reminds us how lost and hopeless post-apocalyptic Equestria is without heroes. A pragmatic protagonist with an understanding of his setting is an easy character to connect to. The one flaw I could pick out so far in the narration is exactly what the user before me pointed out: a sudden bit of exposition in the middle of the scene. Not awkward, but intrusive.
Excellent attention to detail throughout this chapter as well! How you made sure the protagonist would catch the shotgun to keep the silence and how you showed "Sunny's" struggle for survival only added to the chapter's strengths.
Here's to the next one!