• Published 6th Jan 2013
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Fallout Equestria: Taking Life By The Horns - Pokonic



A minotaur goes on a journey of self-discovery, adventure, and snark in the irradiated north. Mostly snark.

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She Dies

"You must be new here,
I can speak to anyone any way I want!"


It was only a hour-and-a-half walk from the place we spotted the dragon to the city limits, and to a extent the limits of the town we were directed to by Nightcore.

But, before we entered it, Umbra decided to leave us, citing that, if she stayed around, she could get shot.

I understood why she decided to take that moment to leave, on a basic level, but Candy Cane still had trouble with it.

Apparently, it would be the first time she had seen Umbra leave her in daylight, and even though Umbra trusted Blueberry and I enough to take care of the little filly, it was rather uneasy for everyone involved. Umbra, when asked by Candy Cane why she had to leave, just said she had to go away to talk to her friends and that she couldn't bring them over like she did normally.

And then she kissed the little filly's forehead, smoothed out the hair on the spot she messed up doing so, turned around, and started to fly off, towards the city.

I didn't know how ghouls worked, but considering that Umbra decided to fly straight forward into the suburban area right in front of us as apposed to the cluster of taller buildings that took up the western part of the city, ghouls must not have any issues with flying long distances without rest.

Or, that could be a Umbra thing, or a Thestral thing. Or a military pony thing. Or a undead military bat-pony thing. Or a Reaver thing.

...

I don't really know.


...

But, nothing really happened after we packed up our stuff to go and leave, and besides being utterly shaken by a dragon roaring right above us, neither adult in the party had any major changes in mood.

So, let's flash forward a bit, to save one from having to go through a hour or so of pointless small talk that doesn't really mean anything, in the long run, and straight to where the three of us arrive at the town.

It was rather pleasant, actually. There wasn't many death threats involved, which was probably due to our expert diplomacy.


"Well, arn't you just adorable!"

Giving that we were stopped by a heavily armed individual in the middle of a empty street in what looked like the entrance to a very well-scavenged small business area, we were all slightly surprised. But Blueberry had her gun out and Candy Cane was behind me, so I felt like both of the little ponies that I decided to surround myself with was protected well enough.

That left me unprotected.

But after some talk and the reveal of our secret weapon, which was two feet of adorable, they didn't shoot us and were a bit more friendly to us then they were before.

"No I'm not! I'm adorevil!" Candy Cane retorted, jumping a little as if in protest. The fact she probably only got a inch off the ground in her winter getup didn't help her argument.

The first of the guards we saw was a mare, but not a pony one. Going by simple physical differences, from the lack of an arch on her back to her slimmer legs to the way her ears were standing tall on her head, she was a donkey. She was clad in armor that covered all but her head, seemingly made of hard plates separated by black material that I could best describe as 'stretchy'. On her back was a battle-saddle, one loaded with two long-barreled guns that, while resembling the pair I saw on Cheesecake, seemed to be smaller and far less ornate.

She was the one who seemed to be the most chatty of the pair, as she was the one who first approached us as we walked down the building-lined streets of the city, coming out of what seemed to be a guard post centered out of what was once a shopping outlet. She was also almost immediately fell under the influence of the Candy Cane as soon as she saw her, and the serious look on her face melted as soon as she saw the little filly trailing behind me.

"Arn't you just sweet as sugar!" the donkey cooed, looking surprisingly carefree considering that she had two guns almost as long as she was tall and wearing heavy combat armor.

"My name is Candy Cane! I'm supposed to be sweet!" the little filly replied back at the donkey, trying her best to look up at her but failing because of her heavy clothing.

Another guard followed close behind the donkey a few moments later, but this one didn't look especially happy at our arrival. If anything, he looked rather grumpy when he trotted up to Blueberry. He was a blue earth pony with no armor, only a battle saddle with two boxy-looking objects strapped to it, and he seemed far more concerned about us then his companion was.

"What are you two planning on doing in Dayside, eh?" he mumbled under his breath, giving me a wide berth and standing next to his companion, who was still focused on Candy Cane.

"Resting." Blueberry replied evenly, taking a stand against the stallion's questioning.

The stallion grumbled, giving me a hard look before turning to Blueberry, "Travelers from the south don't come the way you did often. I saw you scale the hills. Most sane folk take the road."

"The road has a higher chance at having bandits." Blueberry retorted , giving the stallion a harsh look. "And if you want to know, Watershed's bridge was destroyed, so we needed to take another route."

The stallion blinked, before shaking his head. "Tch, figures."

I was having enough of this. After observing how the donkey was interacting with Candy Cane, I didn't need to observe the filly any longer, so I turned to the stallion fully.

"This town, it is named Dayside then?"

The donkey didn't seem surprised at my words, but the stallion looked shocked.

"Dear Goddesses, it can talk!" he sputtered, backing up slightly.

The donkey looked at her companion, sighed, and trotted over to me, giving me a apologetic look.

"Sorry, hun, we don't get many of your folk in Tauronto, which is pretty funny, if you think about it, 'cause of the name."

She paused, glaring at her companion for a few moments, only to turn to me. She didn't seem especially intimidated by looking up at me; something I found refreshing.

"Heh, yeah."

I stopped and looked up, noticing a billboard on the roof of one building declaring that Sparkle-Cola Rad was good for your teeth. Surely that couldn't stand for radiation, could it? Ponies couldn't have been that stupid, could they?

"My name is Ever Watchful." I replied, after a few moments. "Me and my companion here were considering staying at the hotel that is apparently on the outskirts of town, as we are unfamiliar with the area."

The donkey nodded lightly. "Ah, that's fair. My name's Karen. And the shameful fool who didn't know that minotaur's could talk," she paused, turning around once more to give the cowardly stallion behind her another glare, "Is named Shooter. And our little town is named Dayside, yeah."

Karen turned around slightly, and motioned over to a larger building nearby, near the end of the street and almost identical to the buildings around it if it were not for what seemed to be wooden boards placed where windows used to be at some point in time. Really, it was quite well hidden, if that really was the town itself.

"How...appropriate." I muttered, giving Blueberry a questioning look, one she returned. So, I wasn't the only one who didn't know that the town and the hotel was the same. "So, in Dayside, how much is it to spend a day at the hotel?"

Karen looked at me, before motioning over to her right. The armor was flexible, if the way the plates on it moved was any indication. "Price varies from time to time, sometime's gets marked up or down depending on the weather. But right now, it's nearing winter, so prices are marked down." She paused again, biting her lower lip as she looked at one of the buildings to the side of us. "Ten caps for every adult, fifteen caps for housing brahman, and six caps for foals without cutie marks. Permanent residence is a hundred caps for each pony, that's a flat rate that's never changed."

Candy Cane started to bounce up and down again.

"Oh, I don't have a cutie mark, and mister Watchful doesn't either, but he's not a brahman! That's, uh, twenty six caps, right?"

How the filly could go from sounding so confidant to so confused in less then a few seconds was baffling, but it seemed to make Karen smile softly before glancing at Blueberry.

"You have a cute kid."

Blueberry's eyes widened until I was sure they couldn't get any bigger, and she started to shake her head quickly.

"She's not mine."

Karen's left eyebrow rose slightly.

"She's not mine, either." I replied in turn, causing Karen to break out into a bunch of little husky chuckles. I waited for her to stop before continuing, before she got the wrong impression. "We are holding her, for another mare."

"Her mother, I'll reckon?" she asked in reply, looking over to her right for a moment, down the other street.

"No. Her parents are not...around, if you understand-"

"My momma's gone, miss Karen." Candy Cane said, head facing the ground but still audible. She sounded far more reserved then she did just moments before.

This was a unexpected turn of events; I didn't know what to say and Blueberry looked at the little filly like she was suddenly the worlds most adorable nuclear payload and just kept staring at her, and Karen's cowardly friend was happy to stay behind the overturned stripped-down wagon that apparently doubled as cover in the middle of the street.

"Well now, isn't that the saddest..." Karen said lowly, mostly to herself, and turned over to Blueberry, now looking rather glum, "Well, you all should be heading there, now. It's too cold for folk's like you to stand around."

"That's military-spec combat armor, right?"

Karen blinked, and smiled at Blueberry. "It is. Caldonian manufactured and made. You have an eye for armor?"

Blueberry shrugged, apparently trying not to push Kim's good humor. "I guess. I like weapons better, though. Are those brush guns on your battle-saddle? I haven't seen those mounted on one in years. Only seen unicorns with them, because of the loading mechanism."

Karen blinked at Blueberry once again, and smiled. Just when I thought I found a good egg, even the nice donkey is interested in guns.

"Oh, thanks for noticing! It took me two week's pay to convince somepony to get the loading system automated. They are both silenced, too."

Blueberry looked at the pair of guns, while I carefully gauged Candy Cane's emotions, and thankfully she didn't seem any worse for wear.

"So, where do you get the rounds for those two? I'v never seen enough .45 Min rounds in my life for just a few rounds with one of those you got there."

"Used to be a hunting club set up nearby, before the war." Karen replied, shrugging. "Plenty of rounds in the place."

She paused, giving Blueberry a pointed look. "Why're you so interested?"

"Wondered if they were standard for guards employed by the Purebreds, that's all." Blueberry replies, shrugging, sounding like she did when she was trying to sound casual when she really wasn't. "I mean, those are good guns. Considering that your friend has heavy ordnance on his back, I'm just wondering."

Karen looked at Blueberry, then at me, then at Candy Cane, before finally locking eyes with Blueberry once more, and narrowed her eyes.

"I think you should all get to town."

Blueberry, getting the hint, started walking forward, past the armored donkey and around the overturned wagon that hid the still-hiding Shooter, and Candy Cane followed her. But I stayed behind, to nod my head as much as I could with stuff hanging off a horn.

"I am sorry about that." I said politely, "She's under stress about the dragon."

She nodded her head slowly, smiling lightly at me. "I understand. Poor little lass is probably scared to death, isn't she?"

I smiled back, rubbing my forehead with the one hand that wasn't encumbered with a carrying bag. "Yes, both of them. Thank you for not shooting at us, by the way. It's rather nice to go to a pony town that doesn't look immediately threatening."

Karen frowned at that, and one of her ears flicked across her head.

"That's just the saddest thing. Hon, when you go in there, ask for Temperance after you settle in. I'm sorry if ponies haven't treated you well, but Temperance is one of the nicest ponies I know. He'll fix you three up, no doubt."

I nodded, smiled, and went on my way, past the two guards and down the suburban streets, towards where Blueberry and Candy Cane were waiting.


When we entered the hotel, I realized that it wasn't actually hidden at all. It was just that it was probably more visible at night.

I didn't have much to work off of when I heard the word 'hotel', but this was far better then an 'inn'. The floors were tile and had a checkered pattern to them, and most of the tiles themselves looked in good condition. The ground floor was clean and nigh-spotless, and the overhead lights were actually on.

In fact, I didn't see any sign that any part of the building was functioning in a bad way. There was even a hovering robot off to the side, sweeping up dirt and grime near a section with clean-looking couches surrounding a small wooden table. Everything that seemed to be made of glass tended to be mostly unbroken and the high ceiling didn't have any water spots, which told good things about the state of the upper floors.

There were only three ponies in the entire floor, seemingly, but all took notice of us on our arrival.

One was a stallion, sitting on the couches to the left of the entrance. He had a odd look to his hair, like someone took the manes of five other pony's and attempted to glue it all on the same head. Blacks and reds and blues and pinks were all there in that big curly lump that dominated the top of the stallions head, and it was a little ridiculous, really. His coat was a odd off-white look to it, not really yellow but not ivory, either. He was reading a magazine, and went back to doing so after smiling at me for a few moments. His teeth were yellow.

The other was another stallion, but this one wasn't nearly as relaxed as the one reading the paper. But then again, that was probably his job, giving that he was also carrying two revolvers holstered at his side. He looked at me with interest, but after a few moments he gave the tiniest of smiles and went back to just staring in space, humming some sort of tune while he leaned on a wooden pillar that seemed to be a support for the building.

The last pony in the room was a mare, sitting at large wooden desk at the back of the room that seemed to have room for far more then just one pony. She seemed rather surprised at us as we came over to where she was, giving that there was a large bold "New Arrivals Come Here" sign lit up right above her. She looked young and groomed to an extent, and was even wearing a little brown and green jacket that shined in the light. As we approached, she started to fumble through a folder on the desk, seemingly in search for something.

While we were waiting for the young mare behind the desk to speak, I realized that this place had air conditioning, too. Also, it smelled nice. It didn't smell like soggy cardboard and dead wet grass, anyway, so it was more of a lack of a bad smell than anything else. But it was a nice not-smell anyway. Crisp.

"Oh, h-hello." the mare behind the desk said swiftly, looking like she was ready to bolt from the chair she was in, "W-would you like one or two rooms to stay in this fine evening?"

Blueberry looked up at me, shrugged, and, after propping herself up on the desk itself, looked at the mare in the eye.

"It's two bed's a room, right?"

The mare, looking at me once, nodded quickly. I couldn't help but frown.

"We'll take one room, then." Blueberry said in turn, a little less confidently this time, I would think, because she got the general gist that the mare was actually starting to sink into her chair as the seconds went by.

The desk-mare's orange-colored hair bun, eventually, was the only thing visible to me as she slowly but surely sank behind the desk.

"Your room number is one-two-nine, enjoy your stay, please don't hurt me." she eventually squeaked out, pointing a hoof over to a odd shiny object set into the far side of the wall to our left.

I had a distinct feeling that she was scared out of her mind.

Blueberry, far from being concerned that I seemed to be a frightful presence, just made a cooing sound when she saw what the mare was pointing at, and before I could ask for anything else she just started trotting over to it, Candy Cane following right behind her.

So, not wishing to be left behind, I followed in turn, making sure all of my steps were careful enough so that they were not too loud. It was a folly, to my dismay; every single shifting movement I made on my feet was enough to drown out the quiet ambient sounds of the entrance hall.

The metallic thing the mare pointed to was a glossy metallic grey, and when Blueberry got close to it, it made a ding sound.

"Ohmigosh, it's a working elevator."

I looked at Blueberry, who was grinning like she was looking at the worlds biggest gun, or whatever little Steel Rangers dream about in their sleep. Candy Cane, deciding to be brave, poked it.

It suddenly began to open sideways, revealing a small taupe-colored chamber that looked barely big enough for us all to get in. I looked at the little blue unicorn in confusion, wondering what her little hoof movements at me meant, until I realized that she wanted me to go in it.

"Blueberry, you cannot be serious."

I groaned when she walked inside it.

"Well, get on in Watchful. You have so much stuff with you, I don't think you would want to take the stairs, right?"

I looked at her big stupid grin, and then at Candy Cane, who was looking at me with a confused expression. Her scarf was lowered enough to the point that I could see that she was pouting.

Gah.

I winced when I felt my horns scraping the roof of the box, even as I was crouched down at my knees, and both my arms touched the sides of the little metal box even when I tried to fold them across my stomach. I think I took up about half the room in that 'elevator', and every square inch of it that touched me was cold and slightly dusty. I probably looked like I was hugging the air, arms bent at an angle and head hung low enough so that I was almost at eye level with the stallion with the revolvers across the room, who I think was trying not to laugh at me.

When Candy Cane walked inside a few seconds after I did, she settled and sat down on the floor and looked up at me. When she looked back down, I think she was trying to suppress a giggle.

Then, when the doors shut, by themselves at that, I heard a crackling sound above my head, and music started to play.

It sounded like the punchline to a very long, very overdone joke.

"Cheer up, Watchful." Blueberry said chirpily, even as she pressed a few buttons on a small black panel that was located on the right side of the wall, "This is only for a few seconds."

"I can feel my back shifting with every second I'm in this box. Blueberry, did we get shot on our way here, and this is my eternal punishment for knowing you? Stuck in a small metal box with annoying music for the rest of my life?"

"Nope, cause that would mean that Candy Cane got shot too, and that's awful. Besides, if I am here with you, then that means that we are both either stuck in this box, or I am a mental construct that you just think is me."

I couldn't turn my head to glare at Blueberry, so I just looked at her disapprovingly. She thought about that far too hard for my liking.

I also felt the box shift slightly, and I felt it move upwards, somehow. I suddenly understood the reason why the music was playing; a long time ago, ponies probably panicked when they first got on these things, and needed to calm themselves with some sort of song, to help them ignore the fact that their center of gravity's were shifting and that they were suddenly being taken up a few dozen feet off the ground they were usually bound too.

But, seeing the two ponies in the tiny metal box that I probably should have never had gone into anyway, my theory was not supported by what I saw. Candy Cane was standing quietly, swaying lightly to the music, while Blueberry still looked pretty happy, considering that we were in a cramped box with annoying music.

"Miss Blueberry, can we eat soon?"

Blueberry turned to the little filly, smiling softly. "Of course, Candy Cane."

"Will miss Batsy be there?"

Blueberry's smile struggled to survive. "No, but we will see her soon enough, like she promised."

Candy Cane didn't respond to her, but giving that the metal box we were in came to a halt, it might have been because the music stopped and she was waiting for the door to open.

When it slowly swung open, I saw that the floor on this level was actually carpeted, baring a neat little gold-green-red swirling pattern on it was mostly stain-free and vibrantly colored, giving it's age.

However, there was something in the middle of the hall that was a rather unexpected sight for all of us, when we saw it Blueberry gasped in shock and I hissed in a breath of air.

It was a pony head. And a headless pony corpse. The head was sat on top of table sitting in front of elevator, and it's wooden frame was ruined by the thick gobs of blood and bits of meat smeared across it's entirety.

It seemed to have belonged to a mare at some point, and it looked like the neck had been sliced cleanly through to where there wasn't much protruding from the stump to make it uneven on the surface of the table. Her eyes were gone, not so much scooped out so much as mashed up in the sockets. The body slumped on the ground, leaning on the table itself, didn't have the substantial damage done to it like the head did, but it looked like something tried to bite off one of the calves and succeeded.

The body's coat was a dark brown color, not matching the greenish color of the head head on the desk. I wasn't sure if that meant anything.

Also, the wall directly in front of us had something written in blood on it.

That was pretty horrific, all things considered.

But, what it said was just about as shocking as what it was painted with.

'REAVERS ONLY, FOOLS'

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