The battle of the Hoof ended 9 years ago. For some ponies, the scars are still fresh in the mind. As Threnody, a young heartmender working with the Followers of the Apocalypse will find, sometimes the hardest step is getting a Patient to speak.
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This is all in italics
Also, wow... this just got interesting! Very interesting... I wonder who has it out for T? Hmm...
Good show!
7979445
AAAAAAAHHHHH! Good save! The whole thing isn't supposed to be in italics. Just her thought! XD thank you!
7979682
You're quite welcome Heartshine! Always happy to help out a fellow writer
"dumb ho!’ was the best response"
"wasn't"?
"Get her to safety, Glitterbomb"
"Glitter Bomb"? Or was that communicating Blackjack's haste?
"the bowel-loosening panicked of hearing"
"panic"?
"up,” he looked"
Not sure what you were intending there, but something seems to have gone wrong.
Another good chapter!
I am a big fan of this story
Wooo, finally finished character creation !!! Hell of a start.
7980078
Argh, these were all little things we missed. ARGH. Well, thank you!
7980776
I blame Skyrim for this. Thanks Bethesda.
7981362
You're quite welcome. :)
Smells the air.
Is it just me, or are there traces of cinamon around the hospital room?
Awesome chapter can't wait to read more!!!!!!
Great can't wait to read more
That perk is amazing!
Woot now for the next. Wait.. where is the next chapter? Wait did I find a story thats still being written? HAHA wow first time thats happened to me when it comes to Fallout equestria stories. I read the original and Project horizons after they were complete so now... the waiting game.
I hope Boo appears, since she should also be around.
7998612
XD Well, if I can get away with it, I'm hoping to have the next chapter out this coming weekend.
Nooooooooooooo, It's not finished!! I want to know what happens next! Ugh, waiting.. At least I have something to look forward to in the new chapter.
8003207 who do you think is gonna show up in the story later? Like Inposted before, im hoping to see Boo pop up, since shes the one who knows Blackjack the best I think.
[THAT and if Boo was Dead Blackjack would probably avoid Snack cakes instead of agreeing to get them.]
8003318
Boo would be a pretty cool addition, as I'm pretty interested to see how Blackjack would react to meeting her again. As for any others in the story? I think it's good with just the characters now. I'm really interested in seeing how Threnody deals with Blackjack's 'advances', and if anything happens between them. Knowing Blackjack, I have a feeling something will.
8006489 im more wondering who else is Hiding Blackjack. Honestly, there is no way that she could stay in Star House and not been found or discovered by those who know her. But with all the hell she went through, any of those groups would agree that our dear Fishy needs some healing time.
8007597
And plenty of the groups would also wish that she'd fuck off and die, unfortunately.
Trivia: Willow bark works as a pain reliever for the same reason Aspirin does; the chemical are similar. That includes them both being anticoagulants, which might be a poor choice when one has been injected with an anticoagulant toxin.
Anyway, trying to figure out this depiction of Blackjack. She honestly doesn't understand that having sex with someone tends to encourage emotional attachments? That no matter what your intent might be, you will cause them grief when you don't return those emotions? Most importantly, that young and inexperienced partners would be the most emotionally harmed? It's almost as though this Blackjack thinks of herself as a sex toy or a prostitute, taking on the mindset of the males of her old stable. Given all of that, I applaud the author for describing her mental health problems in a well-written and believable way.
>>heartshine
Within the day I finished PH, I was obsessed with a single scene in the final chapter. The Eater sends our hero into the dream for the second or third time, and it is her as a patient in a mental institution.
Yet Blackjack shatters the illusion by asking for P-21's true name. I was hit by the thought that, well, it should be Freedom. What if the entire time, Blackjack is simply... deluded? Trapped in her trauma, forcing herself to relive that moment, that death that she blames herself for, over and over again until it spirals out of control?
I wrote nineteen chapters before I hit a wall.
So, when I saw this more than seven months after finishing the story, I was beside myself. Examining BJ from a psychological standpoint is fascinating.
Yet... I am not satisfied. It isn't your fault, of course. I imagined Blackjack on the Mattress for eternity, constantly tormented. I imagined a violent alchoholic who repeats her mantras like a prayer. I am not an excecutioner. Do better. Don't think about it.
But this mare, lewd and uncaring and full of hatred for the world and herself is definitely Blackjack. So why is something nagging at me?
I am not trying to criticize your story. Really, I am enjoying it so far. But there's something about it that's bothering me.
Does anyone else have any idea what it might be?
I almost want to rewrite it, change BJ somehow. A different writing style doesn't feel like the answer. If you had wrotten the first part of the first chapter like the following, it would still feel slightly off.
Red.
Across the fields lay roses of the most stunning red that I have ever glimpsed. Crimsons and scarelts and almost-pinks and burgundies… I savor the lush and delicate fragrance as it fills the air, a calming aroma of springtime.
My wings and worn duster flutter gently in the cool breeze, and I close my eyes to simply experience the serenity of this place. They call it the Memory Garden. I ponder the name a moment. Is it that they are trying to remember, or forget? Nopony has visited this place but me in a long while, other than the earth ponies who care for it.
“Heartmender, if I could have a moment?” The voice interrupts my thoughts, and I take a moment to respond. Turning, I spot the sky blue kerchief that marks the servants here.
I smile slightly; the ponies here always refer to me by rank, even informally. Then again, these ponies wouldn’t know informal if it slapped them upside the head. “What’s up?” With the smallest movement of my cocoa wings, I glide carefully over the thorny folwers to land beside the kind mare.
She starts at my sudden appearance. “My apologies, Heartmender; your wings always blend in so well with your attire, I seem to forget that you are a pegasus.” Her smile eases my slight tension. “Princess Grace has requested to see you in her chambers, if you would.”
I blink in surprise. “Of course.” What could she need me for that would require meeting in her quarters? “Did her Majesty tell you why?”
We begin to move toward the marble entrance to Elysium, the path of smooth stones cool on my hooves. My emerald gaze flickers over the soft curves and swirls of color in the walls, which shimmer in the morning dew. “I am afraid not, miss. But she seemed anxious for you, so I suggest we not tarry.”
Realizing that I had stopped walking to admire the architecture, I trot quickly after the older mare. Our reflections mimic us in the stone, and a twinge of annoyance plucks at my heart.
The maid is tall and strang, yet graceful in the strange combination that only earth ponies have. Her coat shines with a recent wash, and her flanks have the girth that betrays foals but with none of the unflattering additions: the curves are smooth and definitely attractive. Even her face is well-made, with high cheekbones and eyelashes that perfectly frame her mesmerizing irises. Her mane, tied back in the hankerchief, is unkept in a pretty way that only a few mares can pull off.
Then… there is me. My coat is slightly dirty from the roses in the Memory Garden, and has none of the feminine curves that the older mare is graced with. My legs are lanky and twig-like, and my wings are no better. The old duster that covers me flutters silently around my thin torso, small strands of unwashed corntassle mane brushing the color. I brush the escaped wavy locks back into their bun behind my ears with a wing selfconsciously. The smattering of amber in my eyes are perhaps a redeeming trait, as they compliment the ivy color beautifully.
Shaking my head in embarassment, I turn away from the entrance wall and continue after the mare.
I honestly have no idea what it is. Maybe BJ's constantly sex-oriented mind, hitting on a child, hitting on Glitter... Her attack on the radscorpian, even, felt slightly out of character.
I'm sorry for the criticism, Heartshine. Seriously. And I'd love to hear back from you or maybe Somber about what you guys think might be happening.
Sorry again for the criticism ?
I do not like this scheming bi&¤h.... no, not at all
Cinnamon
Willowbark extract has acetacylic acid, the chemical for aspirin. It's an anticoagulant in itself, so giving that along with the anticoagulant properties of rad scorpion venom would most likely cause rapid exanguination.
8247167
>///< Somber and I aren't doctors. Well, I'm a therapist, but please do not let me do anything more complicated than put on a bandaid!
Didn't think about the sense working without you being able to see or hear someone. Such a thing could be useful against invisible enemies like cloaked zebra.
This absolutely killed me! Borderlands 2 reference? I even automatically read it in Roland's voice.
90 pounds is emaciated light, although that's a mistake that carries over from PH.
Also, Med-X is morphine. It comes in a syrette. The needle is very fine and there's no real controlling the dosage.
One syrette sends you to Luna, two sends you to Celestia.
8275517
and would make person really bad at combat
Wasn't Blackjack 25 last chapter? She's 21 now?
It's her mother, ain't it? The selfish cow who's already been said to have been stealing Thern's own paycheck to fuel her lifestyle.
Yeah, Blackjack would punt her to the remnants of the astrostable. Even if it's not the mother and I'm wrong, same result.
The rabbit hole gets deeper still...
Flawless bedside manner as always, Triage, you crazy two hundred year old mare.
Oh fuck, she's getting levels now!? Things are gonna go down, then...
BJ's kiss gave her Wild Wasteland!?
I'm almost tempted to do a quick search through PH to find how many times Blackjack described being aroused this way, but I'd be very surprised if it was less than a dozen.
Wait, wasn't it Triage who said that?
Lingering pain in one hoof... Another needle, perhaps? Cinnamon does seem to have a vested interest in someone getting hurt while watching Blackjack. I suppose the alternative is that Slate is lying about drugging her, but that's all sorts of uncomfortable. I... think I'll go on believing the best about him, for now...
So Blackjack's finally learned how to teleport another pony. I wonder how much trauma using that spell gives her, since her inability to do it contributed to the deaths of several of her friends.
Yay, leveling up!
“I… feel like Big Mac just had a marathon tap-dancing session on my ovaries,”
Okay (apropos of the cancer related comment on the last HL chapter), you or Somber?
Might help ya to apply some of the MoP thinking and methods to yourself, kid. Hiding that from the world isn't gonna help.
Also, Triage is perfect--dry as hell.
The fuck is up with Cinnamon?
“Is… Blackjack somepony who would hurt fillies? Like, little fillies?”
Well... While her best friends were looking, Blackjack killed 40 foals. She killed fourty foals. That's as many as four tens.
How is it exactly that a group of psychic therapists who work with Threnody have never got around to addressing this issue? Maaayybe they could let it slide in general, but to not try to have her starting to address it before being assigned to Blackjack? That's a special form of bad planning.
Ooh... and now we have a mystery.
Who tried to poison the precious anxiety pega?! i'm going to steel their teeth, don't test me.
Chapter 4, where Sex-Ed with Blackjack destroys more of Threnody’s innocence.
Blackjack’s view on sex is interesting. A lot of the things she says to Glitter Bomb sound very mature and insightful. Like that there’s a difference between lust and love. She even does some self-reflecting and admits that she has hurt somepony who didn’t know the difference. I guess she’s talking about Morning Glory, again. Now from what I know, they ended up as a couple and Glory was happy being together with Blackjack. Sounds to me like Blackjack wasn’t blind to her feelings and able to learn from her past mistakes.
But as 8032218 has already said, she still fails to understand that sex can lead to emotional attachment. Yes she makes it clear to everyone that all she wants is passionate sex without any emotional attachment. But people (and ponies) don’t work that way. Willow Glen still fell in love with Blackjack and got hurt. Not to mention Slate, who sleeping with Blackjack to make her feel better despite hating it. If Blackjack knows she would be horrified, because that’s the opposite of what she wants. Mentally Glitter Bomb is younger than even Threnody and probably shouldn’t have her first intimate experience with someone like her, because there’s a chance that Blackjack unintentionally hurts her.
Threnody’s also carries a lot of emotional bagged around. Having a mother that doesn’t care for you and just takes away all your money is bad enough. But from her reaction in the clinic it sounds like she was also sexual abused. Probably be the very same mother who now takes all her money. Looks like you can’t be a Fo:E protagonist without some sort of emotional trauma.
And to make matters worse, somepony wants to kill her, too. The obvious suspects is clearly Cinnamon. She wants to get rid of Blackjack and pining Threnody’s death on her, would convince even her supporters that she’s dangerous. Hell, if Blackjack though that she killed Threnody she probably would agree with that sentiment and drink herself to death. Cinnamon doesn’t even has to be a mustache twirling bad guy. She could genuinely believe that Blackjack is a ticking bomb that must be stopped, even if it means that she has to sacrifice somepony. On the other hand, it’s almost too obvious that she did it. So maybe she’s just a red herring?
Slate would be the next logical choice. After all, he was the one who convinced Threnody to take the Med-X. Yet he really seem to care about her and doesn’t want to harm her. But as former prostitute, he probably knows how to hide his true feelings even from a heartmender. Maybe he doesn’t even want to hurt her, but is forced by Cinnamon.
Or maybe it’s someone completely unexpected like Willow Glen (jealous of her being closer to Blackjack) or a completely new character we haven’t seen before.
Still, it looks like this story just got a villain. Unexpected, but not unwelcome.
Finally, thanks to Triage speec,h I'm now convinced that Blackjack is the Equestria Version of Chuck Norris combined with Kratos. I bet ponies in the Westland even tell each other Blackjack memes at the campfires.
Well this chapter got interesting. So much going on here, from radscorpion shenanigans to ethical dilemmas that challenge our little Threnody's worldview. I like where this story's going.
instead of a pizza delivery filly, you could be the toaster repair pony
Ok this is an adorable way to end the chapter, it's neat to see her stats
Man. Someone needs to make a crossovers with PH and Winning pony-verse. Cloud kicker and blackjack would get along famously... unless blackjack tried hitting on sparkler... oof.