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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Many apologies for how long this took. I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for a month, but it took a lot longer than expected to get the editing done.
Anyway, time for some more sneaky Whisper!
(Also, she really doesn't like Chrysalis. Heh...)
7966721 You dont need to apologize for anything, good works are woth the wait. Always. And this has been my favorite FoE changeling one hands, hooves, down.
And everyone just runs with the idea so well. That whisper is becoming the brains of things in a competent way, dusty is the final choice, but advising, wholely whisper. And even sickle is getting to mellow out with whisper/ignored by the rest. You've done a marvelous job with this. The only shame is that one couldnt have sabotaged the reactors keeping the place running to force a time limit.
Yes
I have to say, the tension of this chapter was absolutely palpable, and I must comment you on that. It kept the story interesting and begged me to continue reading all the way to the end.
Also, Sickle strutting because of of all the metal removed from her ass is just a remarkably funny and disturbing image to contemplate.
Wow, that was one cool escape plan. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Well thats interesting, you made it looking plausible, thats is big thing.
That simple sorry was like damn not enough, yours first 3 verses would be best for that kind of message but thats ok.
Now make Whisper find some personal stuff in Ocelli pipboy and have mixed fellings :D
Sickle saying what we all thinking!
Oh baby I'd like to check it out, you know?
Unf.
FUCKING FINALLY!
Reading now...
Poor Ocelli... I love how sympathetic you make everyone in this story. So real. Even minor characters tug at my heartstrings. Just the way you write gets to me, to be honest. Such a breath of fresh air after sifting through hundreds of mediocre at best stories this past month for something new to read.
Well, you gotta start somewhere.
Clever. A racoon is a great choose for stealth and general dexterity.
Another reason why I love this story so much -- every decision is sound. Logical. So not only are your characterizations some of the best I've ever read, but your ideas make general sense.
No pressure.
Some things we may just never know.
I love reading about competent changelings, you know? So many other fics have supposed infiltrators in them, yet they hesitate and stutter out their lies. It makes sense if the changelings are new to being an infiltrator or something, but not the stories with supposed experienced Infiltrators. It breaks immersions when a character can't do the one thing they are said to be good at.
Such a badass! Go Whisper! Poor random changeling... At least she's still alive to have a huge headache when she wakes up.
Good on Whisper appealing to Sickle's, admittedly weak, logical side instead of the no-doubt true reason Whisper doesn't want to kill any of them: she'd feel absolutely horrible. Whisper is probably secretly praising the fact that killing any of them would make it nigh-impossible to get out, as it gives her an excuse to not kill anyling.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d9/6c/eb/d96ceb694cbd54a72071838b1636b611.jpg
I don't know why, but I found this kind of adorable. Like a little kid being told she's too old for her teddy bear.
Of course Sickle loves this. Also, I was just wondering how Starlight was driving this thing without experience. Turns out the answer is simple: barely.
Again, this is why I love Whisper. Such a smart bug. Yes you are!
I just realized that a good portion of my comments are simply gushing about how much I love your writing... I can't help it -- your story is just on a whole other level! Heck, I feel firm in my opinion that this is the best FO: E fic. Yes, including the original.
Anyway, as usual, I enjoyed this chapter. I'm quite looking forward to reading about Whisper using her 'changeling fu' to take care of Big Gun. Going to be awesome, no matter what happens.
Aaand... Done. Time to wait for an update.
Hiding now...
Weren't most changelings in this story female?
The more time passes from last update, the more often I check if there was a new one. Thanks for delivering.
Escaping out of the middle of an institution-style changeling hive with little to no use of plot armour. That's pretty damn awesome.
New Chaptur.
aka.
img.photobucket.com/albums/v400/Matt_The_Devil_Murdock/PushSyringe.jpg
7967311
I'm glad you're liking it! And yeah, one of the things I try to always keep in mind while writing is that each character, regardless of how minor, is a real person. Ocelli wasn't just an obstacle to Whisper's escape. She was an individual with a past spanning years, with friends, desires, and stories of her own. Even if a character doesn't get focused upon, even if they're just seen for a moment, they're still a person. That includes characters like the two changeling soldiers they shot on the way out; they were hardly seen, but that was an entire long life snuffed out, and a new hole in other changelings' lives.
7967432
Whoops! Yeah, that one slipped through. In most situation, English has the default being male pronouns, and while I've mostly reversed that when writing pony stuff, it occasionally slips through. Fixed now.
Heh, gotta say you're a fairly reliable updater, for chapters of this size, being able to get them out this frequently. I'm quite amazed.
Ah this update made my day :)
I was reading it with the song of metal gear solid in my head xD
I wonder if the autodoc fixed all Sickle's "wounds"
There's an underground bug orgy bunker somewhere with a lot of enraged screaming people in it right now.
Also, I just want to point out that this hive could probably have enough willing ponies to feed it if they just asked around. Fake-Serenity seems significantly more pleasant than the wasteland. But hey, racist supremacy, whoo.
7968655
Damn it, I’m usually pretty good at grokking innuendo but I swear I’m missing something here.
7968982 Sickle was unfertile. So It came to my mind that would be interesting if the autodoc fix that for her. And given her hobbies that would have some repercusions.
That is why I was implying
7967582 Just finished reading the chapter -- I loved it! My previous comment now has a few additions, mostly simple reactions and a bit of gushing.
It's a shame they had to kill two changeling on the way out -- now the hive won't just be looking to kill them for knowing about the hive, they'll be frothing at the mouth with rage. Poor bug guards...
7968819 To be fair, their racism has a lot of data to justify it. Doesn't mean it is justified, just that, to them, they are 100% in the right to feel better than ponies.
And I just realised: Chrysalis (the 6th) is going to be the big bad of the story, isn't she? The title isn't just referring to Whisper's means of temporal conveyance.
This chapter was like a Hitman mission...
I waited the whole time expecting it to be nested dream sequences. Sort of a "hey bro I heard you like dream sequences so we stuck some dream sequences in your dream sequence so you can dream in your dream sequences ". I so happy to be wrong.
I've got a Fallout Equestia story with a robot as the main character in the world, and I never considered the fact there might be EMP (MD) Grenades. I'll have to think of how to work around that.
What do Matrix Disruption grenades do, exactly? Interrupt magical frequencies?
If that's the case than my stories' all goochie, my main character uses a variety of runes as well as a spell matrix and good old technology to work.
Wow, testing the limitations of pipbucks' Friend-or-Foe system. Nice.
Welp, no going back now, anyway
Oh. Fun
How are they ever going to escape what is in essence a state with its own military? Too big to destroy, too powerful to evade forever...
I wonder if they're gonna have to resort to some kind of deal or blackmail...
Ooh. Good choice.
Those buggers probably survived, too. Too clever not to.
The Art of Bullshitting. It's amazing what you can get away with if you act as if you belong somewhere, especially in a perceived position of authority.
And she's doing it in a hive full of pipbucks
Yikes. That's not good.
I'd love to see what she can do in enclosed spaces like these, when properly set loose
The great part of this infiltration is that no one realizes that it's even possible they're infiltrated
I'm getting really worried about the friend-or-foe system by now, heh.
Wait! I know! Put buckets over everyone's heads!
With her love drained, I imagine it's doubtful she'd manage to free herself, though.
As long as she's in there, her showing up as red dot can be confused for Sickle, so that's good at least
You said it, Sickle
I expected that response
Why was "waking up Sickle" even part of Plan A? It'd probably be less trouble to drag her around
This is getting convoluted
That is a hilarious mental image, actually. Charging up a spell, whack against the horn
Any moment now, this is all going to go downhill, isn't it?
D'aww. She can find her own buggy
With that plan A including them appearing as non-hostile to a thousand pipbucks, it would really have been easier to keep Sickle unconscious
Eeyup
[[Split off because of fimfic's derped 20-emoticons rule]]
"My baby!"
Ow. True
Sooo... are you going to go with the cliché of the Queen standing at the end with a haughty faux-disappointed look and telling her she failed the test?
[edit]
Nope! Silly queen actually thought she won her over
Well that looks fun
Lockdown? What?
But of course; lockdown means noling in or out. No exceptions
Oh, wow. She just zapped the door itself
Woo! They are travelling in style!
Wow, working safety belts? These are some responsible changelings!
You were kiiiinda committing what is known in more civilized areas as "war crimes", Dusty. Namely, gunning down unarmed civilians
Oh. He's just talking about the door number thing? Pfff.
Hmm. The CMC did try to save all of Equestria's inhabitants. Though they probably wouldn't have been eager to cooperate with changelings that had Chrysalis's mindset.
Ah yes. The autodoc
Ew.
Ugh. She's right. Even assasinating that queen wouldn't change a thing; they all believe in that idea
Hah. Great timing
Hmm. So first a little assassination, then Baltimare
Remarks and corrections:
> I just laid down on my couch for a nap
"lay", technically
> there was one Cocoon site they hadn’t found
Not sure why "cocoon" has a capital letter there...
7972443
Short version is, because Plan A acknowledges that everything can fall apart at a moment's notice and needs to be able to rapidly transition to Plan B: run like hell.
It comes from a moment I particularly liked in the show: Sweetie Belle swatting Rarity's horn to disrupt her magic
Hmm? When was that? He shot two changelings. One was firing a plasma rifle at him, and the other was an "armored" changeling (which is to say, a guard or soldier) who was in close proximity and an immediate threat.
Yeah. Burns suck.
Because it's a Cocoon Project site, referring to the information they discovered in Whisper's hive.
7972716
Oh. Seems I misread that; I thought the changeling he shot while Whisper was distracted by the door number was an unarmored one.
7972750
Ah, okay. Yeah, Dusty would need a really good reason to shoot an unarmed pony (Or non-pony). He's got values.
Vault-Hive security footage of Whisper.
We interrupt this highly tactical, borderline realistic FoE story to bring you this-
-action movie getaway!
Maybe warn the New Canterlot Republic? Wait! Prediction time!
It is shown in Fallout: New Vegas that the NCR rangers and desert rangers merged together.
Right now, we are in the desert, more or less. Dusty was a ranger, and there are more rangers still out there. Our heroes may be headed for NCR territory in a few chapters.
You see where I'm going with this, right?
And just like that, I'm caught up. Part of me is happy that I can go to bed now, but most of me is dreading the thought of waiting weeks for the next chapter.
Phoenix_Dragon, your writing continues its trend of excellency. Like A New Way before it, I can tell that this'll be one of those stories where getting the update notification will just end up wiping out whatever plan I had for the next hour.
Cheers mate.
Loved the chapter date.
*starts peering around for that alicorn...*
Well, I just read Chapter 26... The escape from the Serenity Hive! What do I find myself thinking? That it would be an amazing and fun prank to leave an unchanged pipbuck hidden at Mareford to attract bugs to somepony's picnic!
I personally am supprized that whisper choce to leave. Like she found a place where she could live happily, where her pony friends would like in the closest thing to heaven in the wasteland, and she found her kind. I know that stickle was doomed, but I'm shear she could get her into a combat pod or something. I have no dowt that changlings that know how to fight that would be useful. And stickle would like it 2.
Like, what's wrong with giving ponys a chance to live in almost pure happyness? Ya, I know it's strange, but it's the best life you could ask for in this hell known as the wasteland. In fact, it's prolboly better then anything they could think of.
I know that being feed off of is strange, but still! Prolboly the best life ever.
And ya, I know that one changling was milupulating her for some resoon, or maybe not. I got a clear 'bad news' vibe from her though.
As for the changling queen? Her ideas aren't Wong, well not completely. There mean to the ponys, but maybe having something that lives off of someone's else's happiness ruling would be a good thing? I dout they would let the wasteland thing happen agean.
Is the resoon she left because of emerald? I could understand that, but I didn't see any clear information from her saying that was the reason.
Or is it simply because the queen is so mush like queen crystalist or however you spell it? Is it truely that simple? I don't think whisper is that vain.
Is it something to do with the pods the ponys where keeped in? You would think they wound not over eat the emotions of the ponys in the pods, but if they do, that would exspan it, but if they do, the changling hive could not get this big. It would be 2 hard to get this manny ponys out there.
So what's up with whisper leaveing? I don't get what's so wrong about that hive.
8072577
Whisper's main long-term motivation is her own hive. She still has hope that they're out there somewhere. Staying with Serenity means abandoning them, and that's something she isn't willing to do merely for the sake of her own comfort.
Then there's her companions. Sickle is straight-up done for. Serenity has no use for such a disruptive pony when they could just as easily kidnap another pony to fill her pod with. She's a waste of resources, and they don't need a pony for their training simulations. Her other companions might be in a happy simulation, but they're also prisoners, and their minds have been manipulated, akin to being heavily drugged or brainwashed. Some might prefer such a life, but plenty others wouldn't. They weren't given a choice in the matter, and from what Whisper knew of them, being imprisoned in a false world ran contrary to their own goals and interests. It's a fairly safe bet that, if Dusty or Starlight were given the choice of such a fate, they'd say no.
And then... yeah, there's Serenity itself, including what they're planning on doing to ponies. Imprisoning ponies as food and coldly killing off or controlling innocents is a level of brutality completely antithetical to Whisper's hive's methods. Serenity has kidnapped ponies, possibly breaking up families or leaving dependents helpless; they've demonstrated a complete lack of concern for the lives of those other than their own; they've killed a remarkably kind-hearted individual; and they've employed raiders to murder ponies. Whisper would strongly reject the assertion that the changelings of that hive are "her kind". To her and her hive, they're as close to the opposite as one could get.
Staying at Serenity might offer some basic comforts, but Whisper would find it rather hard to live with herself if she stayed.
Ah, so the hive she stuck her nose into and that welcomed her with open arms, she hurt a few and got a few killed, stole their stuff and caused untold amounts of damage. Acting really likeable there, Whisper.
Chrysalis the sixth isn't exactly wrong. Ponies had their chance, they fucked the entire world over. Plus, she takes after the greatest changeling queen that ever lived, who was sadly vilified by crude propaganda.
Here's hoping her mind us actually alive somewhere, in a deadly killbot something.
8161188
Yeahhh, I know it's fun to try to portray "bad guys" in a more positive light (Like the Empire in Star Wars, for one example), but this only works if we ignore the other things we've seen. This is also the same hive that imprisoned her friends, which was going to euthanize one of them because she wasn't useful to them, arranged the assassination of one of the nicest individuals in the region, collaborated with raiders, imprisoned a great number of ponies, and which has discussed plans to overthrow any form of civilization in the area in what would almost certainly be a conflict that claims many lives. This wasn't some kindly family that took her in out of the goodness of their hearts only to be callously turned on for their generosity. This is a group that's actively hostile toward her friends and what she (And her entire hive) stands for.
Can I register for that stable?
If the locals are as passionate as you say, I'm sure they wouldn't mind me.
My gawd. She's just tucking everything in that cart isn't she?
gonna run out of room real fast if that's her go-to plan.
"Stuff it in the cart"
1 changeling. 2 changeling...you know what? Let's just toss the whole hive in the cart.
We'll this just turned into a giant alien invasion story. Xd
I love it!
8414727
If it was big enough to hold Sickle's armor, not to mention holding Sickke herself while IN said armor later, holding two Changelings when neither pony nor armor were in it would be a piece of cake...
And that kids, is why you don't arm your guards only energy weapons
This is so TENSE
Okay this is a first tidbit that'll complete the puzzle. I do wonder why queens and kings add "the xth" after their names.
What does this Chrysalis see in the previous ones?
11250741
It's not necessarily that she saw something in the previous Chrysa... Chrysalises? In the previous Chrysalises. It could also just be that her hive saw something in the previous Chrysalises, which gives the name a degree of power. Some consider Chrysalis (the original) to be a great ruler, and the kind of changeling that all 'lings should aspire to be. She was one of the old-world powers, that nearly brought Equestria to its knees before being "unjustly murdered". Taking that name can be a way of suggesting that she's every bit as great and powerful as Chrysalis the First. It might also be a point of pride, declaring that they follow the "true" changeling way that the first Chrysalis embodied, and keeping the name is a way of showing that they've endured this way for centuries after all others fell.
But there's probably plenty that this Chrysalis finds appealing in the original Chrysalis. This one might have some notable differences, but there are certainly some similarities. The first Chrysalis was proud, ambitious, ruled over her entire species, and sought to subjugate all those troublesome ponies for the good of her hive. She was powerful. She commanded absolute loyalty. She was devious and (at least to some people's PoV) clever. This Chrysalis wants to be all that, and even more. After all, she's going to succeed.
So I do gotta admit that I'm actually very impressed both by Whisper's handling of the situation in this chapter and the fact that this hive has had 5 generations of Queens controlling it (I'm assuming). Like... Hats off to Whisper. And it almost went completely clean too. Definitely my favorite chapter so far.
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It was a fun one to write. Even if it didn't go perfectly, she managed something very few changelings have ever managed, and lived to tell the tale!
Also, thanks for all the comments! I know I tend to be a little quiet, but it's always nice to watch someone going through the story and seeing their reaction along the way.
Huh. I've never thought about the fact that EMP grenades would fry energy weapons, but it makes perfect sense. That really should have been a mechanic in the Fallout games.
And I'm still not sure what PipBucks consider as hostile. Is it purely murderous intent? Because, at least to me, somebody whacking you over the head with a stunning spell is not exactly friendly behaviour.