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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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As much as I loved the reactions to last chapter's cliffhanger, I couldn't just leave you dangling for too long. Things are picking up. Pieces are coming together.
This story is so much fun to write
Also, for anyone who missed it, I got a new piece of art of the whole gang, with a curious onlooker in the background.
God damnit, first in night and you update it? Damn you, well it wasn't what I expected but it was good. Sickle tearing apart power armor was eye opening how freaking strong she actually is.
Well that was interesting. I have a quick question, how many different hives do you have for this story? I am interested in learning about them if we don't learn about them later in the story.
Damn... Soo much going on here and yet more still to come!
When engaging with a grappler, it helps to know how to grapple. Boomer:
static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Deer_8811b0_2220277.gif
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Depends on what point in history you're asking about!
Originally, there was supposedly just the one, led by Chrysalis.
Sometime near the start of the war between Equestria and the Zebras, Equestria struck back at Chrysalis's hive. She stubbornly fought to the death (Probably thought she was winning), and the surviving changelings scattered. Many formed new hives. Scattered as they were, and their secretive nature, nobody knows just how many there were. Maybe a half-dozen, maybe significantly more.
And now? Well... zero? One? Maaaybe more? Whisper's trying to find an answer to that.
7756063 Ok. Well I hope that Whisper finds out information about what happened to the hives that were around a little before Equestrian become a wasteland.
7755895 A lovely chapter, and whisper was on fire here. Just the right sneaky sneak, and kachak never was so satisfying.
nice phoenix dragon. your fic is featured!!!!
Asset not responding. Presumed lost.. WOO. I am on point with the secret messages baby. In case anyone was wondering, it was a base 64 code, and then a simple substitution code.
7756352 fairly quick work too... The Allies need men like you to crack the Enigma code!
... I love Sickle.
That was the single best line I have ever read. Sickle is a fucking badass.
7755895 This fukken art right there! Why do I have the feeling the alicorn in the back hints at something? Join the team perhaps?
Time to do the reads and wonder...
Oh bloody biscuits with a side of more bloody bisuits - boy do I enjoy Sickles antics. Blowing up Boomer with a grenade? Fantastic.
Whisper: Significantly more badass with every passing chapter.
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Sickle: Wasteland saint of chems, fucking, and poetic justice.
7756659 New best line of this entire fic
So, i finally read through this. (because of that picture with Whisper and the minigun. don't judge me). My first FoE fic. I might even start reading the original sometime.
Awesome story so far. And Whisper has a lot of work to do. Big Gun in Mareford. An unknown changeling hive in Serenity. Lady Amber possibly connecting the two. And of course her quest for her own hive. What would she do if she stumbled upon some hivemates/eggs anyway? Her friends only give enough love for herself, and she'll need some surplus, especially when she finds eggs who can't feed themselves.
Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm with Sickle on this one, irony is delicious.
Good that they got some revenge, but it still sucks that Emerald died. Still, if there was one changeling, there will be more.
I wonder who's hunting for them, though. If only the best bughorse didn't die all those years ago, she would've say them straight.
That moment you realise there's a grenade in your plot.
Yeowch.
Excellent chapter,
Very good job showing Whisper sneaking around. I thought at first that Sickle wasn't going to get that much action in this fight because of Whisper's doing such a good job sneaking. But that fight with Boomer was absolutely, awesome. can't wait for the next chapter.
Claps slowly and firmly. That was gold right there. Great chapter.
Ah yessss.
Sometimes I hate that the worst thing that you can do to someone in a video game is kill them. Can't really get creative like that.
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...it wasn't in her plot.
Damn i love Sickles sense of irony though.
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I was talking about the foal.
Pfft. That was a backhoofed comment worthy of a changeling.
When I started this fic a few days ago, I did not expect to get attached to it. I know you're a great and emotional writer -- your story Without a Hive made that crystal clear -- but this is on another level. If I had to use one word to describe this story, do you know what it would be? Riveting.
Honestly, I haven't cared this much for characters in a good long while. I'm still devastated about Emerald's death, and she wasn't even a main character! So believe me when I say I felt my heart skip a beat when Starlight's neck was cut. If she died I don't think I could have handled it.
Everything Whisper feels is felt by me in excruciating detail, for better or worse. Did I mention I'm still reeling after Emerald's death and reveal? The amount of pain Whisper must have gone through knowing that she was so close, yet so far...
You don't just write a story, you weave an experience. And I'm not just saying that. Thank you for this wonderful story. I eagerly await the next chapter.
PS: Sorry if I didn't go into a ton of detail in this comment. I've just at a loss of what else to say, as literally every bit of this story is amazing. You are up there with the best of the best at writing believable and fullly fleshed out characters. I especially love how you stuck with Whisper's POV the entire fic, letting us feel her as if we were her. Your strength lies in this method of storytelling, I feel. It makes Without a Hive amazing, and this story phenomenal. First person narration was the right choice as well. The lack of unessesary time skips also helps: those are really annoying in other FO: E fics (especially the original).
PSS: Fuck, I cannot stop thinking about Emerald and about how unfair this situation is for Whisper. As if the trek to the hive wasn't bad enough, you had to put her through this as well. Breaks my heart that such a lovable bug has to go through so much pain. At least she has Starlight.... I hope she at least keeps that constant in her life!
7772604 Plot and vagina are not synonymous. You're thinking of ass. Because it wasn't the kid's ass where the grenade was shoved up...
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I think of plot as being "rear end". Not specifically arse or vagina, butt the whole package.
7817095 I think of it as anus and hindquarters, depending on context. Just like ass is anus and buttcheeks, depending on context. I thought everyone else thought the same.
Yup. Saw that coming. Not sure how they survive if they treat ponies as slaves, though.
Well, that's something resembling empathy, I guess. "Hello. My name is Sickle. You upset my friends; prepare to die."
Yeah, yeah, no need to argue, we know. You're not a "pony"
Oh, the armour is that customizable? Nice.
Don't question it
Oh, right. They kinda lost an important supplier in this whole mess, didn't they?
The alternative is storming a fortress protected by guard towers with rocket launchers, Sickle. Deal
That'd be epic. Fire-breathing?
Oh. I would've expected something more silent, like a knife. Though, that's the thing with the suppressor, hm?
Not sure why she's putting out the lights. It seems like that'd be more likely to make the others notice something is off.
Should've grabbed that rocket launcher
Oh, yey. Cannibal raiders
Or you just fire a rocket launcher in to it, and toss some grenades into various windows for good measure?
Ohhboy. Sickle is now psychological warfare.
Yikes. I kinda thought that with "get in the can" they meant the tank outside.
Ooohkay they did mean the tank. Right. Because that mention of the "can" was Boomer giving orders to the other pony
Ouch
Oh, wow. Scrap power armour.
Guess she must've been to fit in there?
Her power armour, too.
"You keep saying that as if you think it offends me, furry-squishy-face."
Ouch
Well, you can't say that wasn't quick. Or typically Sickle-style ironic.
Oh, ugh
Yea. Let her have her irony. She knows what she's doing when it comes to raiders
Remarks and corrections:
> Had more than a dozen casualties under my lead. Three of them died.
Don't you mean "more than a dozen [ponies]"? As far as I know, "casualties" means deaths, so only three out of more than a dozen dead ponies dying doesn't make a whole lot of sense...
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At least that'd be more exciting than lying here!
Wait, did I... I just used a fluttershy emote for Sickle. That's just wrong...
Hey, meat's meat. Even psychotic and depraved ponies have to eat!
"Casualties" actually means killed and wounded. In military service it can include pretty much all reductions in active combatant numbers, including not just injury and death due to combat, but also such things as sickness, capture, missing in action, or desertion. So Dusty's saying he's had more than a dozen ponies under his command who were injured or otherwise rendered incapable of fighting, three of which were killed.
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It still sounds really strange
It knooooows!
"Kill confirmed."
Found this story yesterday thanks to some fanart on Derpibooru and I just gotta say I love it. Also Sickle has been my favorite character in this almost since her introduction despite others' reactions to her and it's not just for her choice of ironic justice when dealing with raiders.
I don't know whether to laugh or cringe at this, thinking about Boomers explosive end.
On one end, I love everything immodest, and stuffing a grenade up her ass definetelly would not be the modest thing to do.
On the other, that's one hell of a way to go out.
Either way, I have no complaints.
although I did just kinda expect Bommer to go out some other way.
With a body like that, and Sickle around,you know things could have gotten dirty and bloody.
another note, I imagined her simply sinking her claws in her side. Slowly. Like a pinned butterfly.
3rdly, I imagined her tid up on a chair under a lamplight like some detective interrogation thing,
but the last...wow, this was just a great way to go out.
Irony indeed, Popsickle.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DfuNyWMAWptE&ved=0ahUKEwjguLOBvJPWAhUDySYKHQDfDUUQo7QBCC0wCA&usg=AFQjCNGrhJdSy7SIfYvWqMQD8zthtZcANQ
This is what I think of when I hear the description of that balefire bomb
Daaaaamn.
Boomer bitch got what she deserved.
I am so pleased to know Boomer went the way she did.
I seriously hoped it'd be ironic!
Kekekekeke....man, Boomer went boom.
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These are raiders we're talking about. And the filly's face was frozen in a look of numb horror...facing forward. I don't think the grenade went in her ass...
Anyone know the answer to the encryption at the end? I’m having trouble with the decryption thingy
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If you deciphered the coded message in Chapter 21, this one uses the same method.
If not: Asset not responding. Presumed lost.
I can't believe that I'm both very entertained and deeply mortified by how Sickle ended this chapter. I don't believe I've ever experienced this particular combination of emotions...
You know, you see this a lot in dark stories. A baddy meets a gruesome end because he/she did something similar to an innocent victim. It usually is written in a way that suggests it's being done to feel good about the baddies death.
All I can think of is the victim. I can't understand why someone would even be ok with writing such a scene.
Obviously, it's Fallout Equestria. It's not a happy place. I haven't read many stories in this world, three I think (one of those of course being the original). I expected some nastiness, heck, your even warned beforehand. Still, I think yours has the darkest scenes out of all three.
Still gonna finish it, I'm sure. Might even buy the books. But I'm gonna need to read something really happy after this.
So... I do not think that Emerald worked for slavers one bit, she said that they took ponies, but they never said for what. Me thinks they were used for food instead of workforces, just saying
Phoenix... You can't just hint us at a bubblehead changeling and not having a link to such a creation! I sure hope for your own good, and your priveliges in the FoE group, that you have such a link hidden somewhere, or Celestia will be my withness I will ban you (for like 7 seconds or so) from the group!!1!
Whisper revealed that she can turn into other races in this chapter, and I am curious if she can turn into inanimate objects as well as the male changeling is shown to do in the later seasons of the show. I do not remember when each season of FiM came out, so I do not know if this was written before or after those episodes.
Also, with the mention of flabber-batters being a rare breed must I agree, can't remember seeing that many in FoE, sure there are a villian or a single sidekick or two there are squee-po-nies, but I can't remember a single fic with them as main characters... Which is weird when I am sure that I have seen multiple stories with both alicorns, zebras and even diamonddogs as main chars.
Also also, changeling chimeras... now that is an interresting idea, wonder if we will find some in the future that chooses to have arms and hands/claws after having gotten a taste of griffins or diamonddogs... Great, now I am imagining some changeling faun/miniotaur chimera thingy, yet I know that no one will ever write about such mystical creatures and I am totally blaming you for it all, so shame on you!
Something that hit me after the third or so time I read it, but just hadn't registeret it, its lovely refreshing that Whisper, even all this time later, refer to the new practical loot she is wearing as it original owners instead of hers. Shows just how much she actually cared of that person, and how she is still thinking about her to this day. A really small, but really nice touch, one of many small "human" touches that really make this story shine, and I must slowly admit that I like this more down to earth and realistic tone compared to the more gamey tone that the original and so many other stories have tried to emulate. Stuff actually weighs something, bullets hurt, and don't you dare walk away from a grenade or you will end up with blown out eardrums... heck I would be surprised if someone won't forget how loud their weapons can be in enclosed areas at some point and actually blow an eardrum with the amount of small details you have given this story. Two french finger in an o kisses over how delicate this is from me!
And Sickle said she wasn't into philosophy, and yet she capture the wasteland spirit in a single sentence.
Its scary how Sickle and I thinks alike, because that was exactly the way I was thinking of letting her go... Or rather to interogate her, not pulling the pin before pushing her out over the edge... Altough I would highly suggest looking for a grenade with an extra long timer. Push her over the edge, let her fall, whimper, get up and then a gory end.
Nitpicks:
" “...I’m trying to not make this all personal,”" Well the sentence lives up to itself, since it is missing some space... And reading some more can I see that none of your ellipsis have a space after tham as they have had in the 22 earlier chapters. I blame some form of coding for this one
" horn lighting up as I gripped the latch of crude door" Missing a the or something else here.
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*GASP*
Wait, I did what now? Uh, I mean, YES! Yes. I do have a link hidden somewhere. Probably.
Hmm? Can you see it?
Um...
I had to double-check myself! And yep, this came out just a couple of months after that episode. Now, I obviously can't include all of the changeling canon that was revealed in the later seasons. Whisper's hive's whole thing is about a more symbiotic and mutually beneficial relationship with ponies, so it'd be a little hard to explain why they're not skittlebugs! But I did grab onto the bits that I could incorporate. I believe Whisper even mentions that she can turn into an inanimate object at some later point... just that she prefers not to because it feels really weird.
Oh, man, that makes me so happy to hear! Yeah, I really wanted to lean heavily into the personal side of things, how the Wasteland affects people and how they deal with it, so hearing that it worked is really encouraging. I wanted it to seem like real people dealing with real problems, even if they're getting caught up in some pretty significant events.
Not to mention the reminder that they're mortal and fragile, and that Whisper is really kinda in over her head at times. But I think she makes it work.
I don't think there are any blown eardrums later on (I think the only time was that mine), but I really did try to keep in mind just how tremendously loud guns can be (Including suppressed weapons like Whisper's pistol being much louder than people think). There may be a few places later where I could have leaned harder into it, but I'm generally happy with it. I've been in rooms when guns were fired a few times. Some large, some small (With a rifle, no less). It's impressive just how much you can feel the sound hitting you... and yet how little you might notice the muffling of sound afterwards if the adrenaline is flowing.
Sickle might be seen by some as the big dumb muscle, but I really enjoyed giving her a clever underside. It gave me a character that can cut through a bunch of the bullshit and doesn't mind calling others on their shit.
Nah. Blame it on English for being an indecisive little shit that doesn't like "rules." Pretty much the entire usage of ellipses is a style choice, meaning there is no one "correct" way to use them (Though probably a lot of "incorrect" ways). Spaces between periods or no? Spaces around or no? Placed like a comma or like an EM dash? Use a fourth period if its at the end of a sentence, or does it double as a period itself? YOU GET TO CHOOSE! Yet one more way that English is a bit of a nightmare.
In this case, I settled on the style that I usually see in modern works of fiction: it doesn't need a fourth period if it's the end of a sentence, and it's generally treated like a comma (No space before, space after, next word is not capitalized), unless it's at the beginning of a line (No space after the ellipses, first word only capitalized if it's a new sentence rather than continuing mid-sentence).
...Crap.
I think you probably got this before, but now that Whisper has a PipBuck now, will she be getting some Perks of her own like the main characters do in all of the other Fallout: Equestria side stories?
Footnote: Level Up.
New Perk: <Insert Perk Name Here>: <Insert Witty Perk Caption Here>. <Insert Perk Descriptor and Perk Bonuses/Drawbacks Here>.
Quest Perk Added: <Completing certain Quests could reward a Perk fitting the actions the Main Protagonist had accomplished.>
Companion Perk Unlocked: <Identified by what types of Companion Bonuses could be offered up by certain Companions in the party. Usually unlocked by reaching a certain affection level with the companion or completing a personal Quest with them.>
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I didn't do the whole level-up/perk thing because it really doesn't fit Whisper well. She starts the story as a reasonably "high level" character, just one whose skill lies in areas that aren't as generally well-suited to Wasteland adventures as your typical PC. She also doesn't really ramp up in power very much. She adapts a few existing skills, and she's learned to be marginally competent with some weapons, but she's barely any "better" by the end than when she started. She isn't leveling up, and certainly isn't gaining a broad collection of perks along the way.
I know a good number of Fallout: Equestria side-stories (though certainly not all) make use of the level-up footnote, but honestly, many of them seem to do so only because the original did, but don't actually fit the story that's being told. The original story made decent use of them, and some stories use it really well, but others feel like it was just tacked on because the author felt they had to. It was one of the things I thought on a lot before starting this story, and eventually concluded that it really didn't work for this story.
She killed too wouldn't that be three?
I mean the count in general isn't going well but it doesn't matter.
Raiders got GG no re-ed.