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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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7631839 It absolutely was. I like the idea of using Bible verses as a way of incorporating the Cadanite religion. And at the end of the day, there is no better verse for that situation than the one made up for Pulp Fiction.
So a cupcake room and no dress made out of feathers! Church I am disapointed! that would be the perfect reference and it slipped between your hands!
So a gun that shoots rare silver bullets that kill anything it hits by them melting up inside and what not... At least is it not the giant BFG from PH, but boy do I still dislike weapons like it. Ruins the suspence when there are plot weapons there can fix any problem, since we already know that the bullets and monsters they are gonna kill are already counted for in the big plot of things. Not only does it undermine the suspence, but getting the hellhound killing dog from a guy that we only have known for half a chapter, to kill a hellhound and then keep afterwards. Your writing up until this point have been perfect, but you dropped the ball here sadly
GASP! He could see into the future... If there are Megaspell bunkers in this story and they are used to make better loot will I be very very cross with this story you know!
So Packrat… You better not kill her off before this act is over at the least! She is favorite char already, so don't you dare killing her off too soon!
Nitpicks:
"After a few minutes, my companion tapped me twice on the shoulder" Linebreak
"Since you don’t have4 anywhere else to go you’re not in a hurry" I think that you can spot this one yourself =P
"Her expression became one of shock when she was the dribble dripping down it" Saw
"On a scae of one to ten" Noes! Someone looted Packrats L while she was asleep!
" God, she was learning. " Needs an extra o
" Sorry for making such a bad impression." Need an " in the beginning of the sentence.
" “And I had to kill Honeypot to safe Toothpick" Save
" You can't each an old dog new tricks" teach