Hey ho...

I need some assistance. If you, yes you dear reader, would read the following short piece (1200 words) and tell me if you find it funny or not, that would be fab. The piece is what is supposed to be the beginning of a novel I'm trying to write, and I'm currently trying to gauge the way in which to write it. (Other criticism is also welcomed.)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_6-dqIJiAian8Clp6SKhrj1BwEQ6er9k5VmmYhfxdSo/edit

Also, more pony fiction soon.