Critical Irony Failure · 5:03am Dec 30th, 2016
So I was just having a chat with a friend, who for the purposes of this conversation I will represent as Cloud Kicker, because his life philosophy mostly revolves around winning. Chat log has been slightly edited to preserve privacy.
I just got some super good news. Turns out the company owes me more back pay than I thought. I'm getting a bonus!
You should buy some really nice shoes.
I'm not spending my entire bonus on shoes. It's a lot of money. I should invest it for the future.
If you buy the right shoes, they are an investment. Their value will appreciate!
So by your logic, if I buy a set of solid gold shoes, and that turns out to be a bad investment and I lose all my money, that's my fault because I didn't buy the right shoes.
At least you'll be prepared to jump off a bridge.
That got dark, man. You're dark.
I'm just saying. Gold Shoes: Shiny and Efficient!
You feeling okay?
I'm feeling sad because my black comedy didn't earn enough critical acclaim to validate my existence.
Man, I totally get that.
Totally.
You want to, like, go watch cartoon horses and then cry?
...I was joking.
...so was I.
brb posting this on FiMFiction.
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH!
Yes. Joking.
Tsk. Everybody knows you cry and then watch cartoon horses. That is the proper order of things.
**also fails to give your friend enough critical acclaim to validate their existence**
As of this blogpost, your existence has been officially validated this year. You are licensed to continue existing for a minimum of ten (10) more years on Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy. Please do not try and vacate Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy. We are not accepting existential passports at this time. (There is no escape.)