A Short and Simple One · 12:07am Oct 11th, 2016
So. Fifteen tips for y'all, straight outta the mouth of the biggest idiot this side of Europe:
1) If you're used to drinking coffee with milk and you like things that are bitter, try black coffee! It isn't nearly as strong as you think it is, and you can always add just a tiny bit of sugar to make it easier on the tongue!
2) In case you follow the previous tip, always remember that the amount of caffeine you take depends on the amount of coffee you drink. Coffee as in the brown/black stuff that you brewed.
3) It's not, I repeat, it's not measured in the number of mugs of liquid you drink.
4) Because if you are used to, perish the thought, coffee with milk, then one mug is actually very little coffee, which implies VERY LITTLE CAFFEINE.
5) AND THIS IS RELEVANT.
6) BECAUSE IF YOU THINK TO YOURSELF 'OH, I CAN DRINK THREE MUGS OF COFFEE AND NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN, I CAN DEAL WITH THAT'.
7) YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING OF COFFEE WITH MILK.
8) WHICH MEANS VERY LITTLE ACTUAL COFFEE.
9) BUT YOU'RE DRINKING BLACK COFFEE NOW.
10) THREE MUGS IS WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE IF YOU'RE DRINKING BLACK COFFEE.
11) AND LONG STORY SHORT.
12) IT'S 2 AM ON A MONDAY.
13) AND I THINK.
14) I MIGHT BE HAVING.
15) A FUCKING HEART ATTACK.
THAT'S ALL.
GOOD NIGHT.
I'M GOING TO SMASH MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL FOR EIGHT CONSECUTIVE HOURS NOW.
My daily caffeine intake is probably close to 30x what you are used to.
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I sort of have the constitution of an anemic slug. I once sneezed so hard I fainted.
Don't mind me. Just checking in to see how you're doing.
About the same as usual, I see.
Never change.
I am so glad I started following you.
You are the gift that keeps on giving.
I guess I'm lucky I can't drink coffee. Already had my heart transplanted. Don't need a heart attack, too.
I love you.
Drink more coffee to counteract the caffeine you've already had.
Seriously? I take my caffeine in pill form. It's like drinking a cup of coffee in 2 seconds. Wimp.
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I agree with this statement. You can trust me, I'm a doctor.
Okay, that's a lie, but I once considered ordering a Doctorate of Divinity from a weird online only Christian Ministry so I could demand that my professors refer to me as "Dr." in what was no doubt an unacknowledged desire to commit suicide-by-historian on my part.
And that all has to count for something.
Oh wow gee I hope you're okay
I get my intake from (coffee flavoured) ice cream~
That moment you actually think the points are gonna vary. Then you continue on and the realization hits you like you're in a horror movie.
Reading this on my phone sure was interesting. The words only got larger as I scrolled, so I had to scroll faster and faster.
I want to believe this is what it'd be like to talk to you in real life, Aragon.
Don't die.
I don't recommend it. It's generally considered a bad idea.
Drink many glasses of milk. This will transform the black coffee into white coffee, and the caffeine will disappear!
Maybe.
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During university, I tried a couple of times to brew coffee not with water, but by putting more coffee in the pot to boil.
The results were interesting.
Meanwhile, a friend of mine cut open tea bags and brewed something by putting the leaves in a coffeemaker.
He could see sound.
Bah, caffeine pills is the way to go if you want a legal CS.
Bah, caffeine pills is the way to go if you want a legal CS.
When I started writing Moonfic, I was drinking ten mugs every 12 hours, tons of sugar and syrup.
But I was also writing for forty hours a day... hrrm...
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MrW6JpeRc8Q]
This is why everybody should have a bottle of metaprolol in their fridge.
One day, years ago when I was bodybuilding, I took some underground-lab liquid clenbuterol. Then I looked at the bottle's label and did a double-take. This bottle was 10 times the usual concentration. I'd forgotten that.
My heartrate started going up, so I took a metaprolol, took the bottle of clen along, and drove to the emergency room. My heart rate went up to 160 bpm. By the time they were ready to see me, though, the metaprolol was taking effect and my heartrate was already going down, so I went home. The doctors at the emergency room didn't know what clenbuterol was anyway.
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You took clenbuterol?
Holy shit. Dude, that's illegal in Spain -- part of my father's work is to find out if farmers are using it to fatten the animals, 'cause it makes them taste like shit.
And the doctors didn't know what that was! What kind of bizarro world do you live in? Christ almighty, the shit that goes on at the other side of the ocean.
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I'm actually surprised at how well this song fits the entire situation. It's almost scary.
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The fact that the comments on this blog are so similar to my own family's reaction to my usual bullshit both baffles me and amuses me greatly.
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Hurrah, you are alive! Praise be!
4255771 Clen is a fat-burning drug, so I wonder if we're talking about the same thing.
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I checked, we are. It's just that apparently Clenbuterol isn't completely illegal when humans use it, and indeed bodybuilders take it (although it counts as doping if you're a pro athlete).
I only knew of its use towards animals -- maybe, to treat horses when they have respiratory problems and to make sure chickens are twice as fat as they should be, the latter being the reason why it's forbidden in Europe. And in the USA, I guess?
Anyway, it's illegal in Spain, period, no matter if you're human or just a chicken. Spanish body builders need to buy it from shady veterinarians, who are the only ones who have it nowadays (as I said, you use it to cure asthma in horses). That's why your story surprised me so much, I suppose.
4253679 We used to have a dose of narcan
4269046 What did you use it for? Google tells me that's to block the effect of opiates.
4269221 Specifically it's a " bring someone overdosing on heroin back to life" juice.
Actually, I make my latte by adding an espresso shot to half a cup of heated milk. So I'm having pretty much a full cup of coffee's amount of caffeine despite it being latte. It's more or less just as if the coffee was made with milk instead of water
It's even easier with instant coffee. just add the same amount as you would put in a cup of water, only put it in milk
)
(Well. If that stuff would properly dissolve in milk, that is