Story Reviews » SA Reviews #88 · 12:31am Aug 2nd, 2016
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
Alex’s cheeks bulged and he slapped a hand over his mouth. With a supreme will of effort, he managed to keep down his in-flight lunch. “We shall never go flying while a hype storm is raging again.” Stepping gingerly down the flight ramp, his other hand holding his stomach, he managed to make his way to the tarmac. The other passengers disembarked shortly after. None of them appeared any worse for wear.
Intern was there to greet them.
“Have a good flight?” he asked with a wide smile.
“Don’t ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies,” Alex said, quickly moving past and into the Treehouse.
Red scampered forward, looking up at Intern and placing his paws on his hips. “Hey, what’s the status of the reviews?”
“You guys really need to give me some credit,” Intern said, sighing dramatically. With a flourish of his hands, he reached into an opened briefcase that lay next to him and pulled out a stack of papers. He handed to Red who began looking them over.
Red blinked. “These are receipts for--”
“Wrong ones!” Intern snatched the papers out of Red’s paws and quickly fished out another set of papers. He gave them to the little squirrel.
Giving Intern a suspicious look, Red regarded the new set.
ROUND 88
STORY 1
Hench, by theycallmejub
In a city full of super-powered heroes and villains, Clip Cowlick is just a normal stallion, a middling henchpony and a daring lover. At the request of his tyrannical employer, he ventures into Maretropolis’s Matte District to run a peculiar errand on the most dangerous night of the year: Nightmare Night.
Reviewers’ notes: This story is rated mature, so we’re not allowed to direct link to it in a site-wide post. (A link is provided to the author, however.) We also have a blanket ‘no’ policy for mature fics (especially gore/sex, though this has neither), but we’re reviewing this one despite that. Yes, it’s that good.
Hey, guys!
We’re starting this round off strong! That is to say, a bit of strong language and violence. Now, don’t go getting up in arms about the mature tag. Give us a chance to argue this one.
There’s a difference between violence and gore. Violence is someone getting beaten up. Gore is all the gushy mushy stuff that comes out—how it’s described in unnecessary detail. This fic doesn’t do that. Yes, there’s description of what’s happening, just enough to drive the emotion of the piece, but there’s a certain threshold jub makes sure never to cross. Personally, I’m skeptical on why it’s even rated mature, but better safe than sorry in that regard, I guess.
Anyway, this is a day in the life of Clip Cowlick, one of the Maneiac’s henchmen, on a dangerous errand on the most dangerous of all nights: Nightmare Night. You might think it couldn’t be that dark, that this is a story about sunshine and rainbows because it has ponies.
Let me warn you: you would be wrong.
This story is the true meaning of the [Dark] tag. The difference in atmosphere from the show is immediate, well applied (and taken from) the Maretropolis comic setting. These are not the Mane Six stand-ins and arch nemeses we saw in the show, but the true comic book characters in all their dog-eat-dog glory.
And that’s what makes this story so amazing. The violence, though a bit stronger than jub could have chosen, picks out the perfect non-gory details (and others that flow from them; the mare vs. mare tussle over the scattered bits on the ground is most striking) to bring to life just how different this place is than the show and really draws you in. jub’s knack for clear yet vivid scene description leaves every punch, every throw, every tooth kicked out of your mouth felt right alongside the characters.
If you like action scenes and don’t mind violence and swearing, this is your #1 next-to-read.
Set in the comic world of the Power Ponies, this story follows the harrowing exploits of Clip Cowlick as he navigates the streets of Maretropolis during the most dangerous night of the year, Nightmare Night. Let me make clear that this is not the Mane Six reprising their roles from the show episode, but the actual ponies from the comic. Mare Marevelous and Humdrum in particular are very different from what you might expect. I say this because this story was a little jarring when I got into it.
There’s brutal violence and foul language throughout the fic, so that mature tag is there for a reason. If you aren’t bothered by that, there’s a thrilling ride to be had here as Clip scrambles his way from one encounter to the next. What’s also interesting is the connection he has with some of the Power Ponies. He’s met them before; heck he’s in a relationship with one of them and it left me wondering (in a good way) of the story of how that all happened. Kinda like in real comics where a reader picks up a copy in the middle of an arc, likes what they see, and is curious to learn more and check out the rest.
If you’re up for an unconventional take on the Power Ponies and a plot that plays out like The Purge, give this a read. Some stories are best told through the eyes of the common henchpony.
Spoiled Rotten knows her best years are behind her. The time of flowers, whirlwind romances, and the luxury of rejecting suitors has passed. Now is the time for husbands and cradles, and she still has neither. With the clock ticking and a string of failed relationships trailing behind her, she fears it will stay that way.
So when one of the rare earth pony elite appears at a Canterlot party, despondent, alone, and (possibly) single, it’s an opportunity too good to pass up. And it’s been so long since Spoiled’s met a stallion she genuinely likes.
History says it won’t last. Common sense warns it won’t work. It’s a one-in-a-million chance, and luck’s never been on her side before. But Spoiled has to try. She can’t afford not to.
I don't know why I waited so long to read this. I know Patchwork is an amazing writer—one of the fandom's best—yet I still hadn't read And Yet What Riches until now. I just didn't like the idea of reading about Diamond Tiara’s parents. They’re snobs in the show, and there’s little left to redeem.
But there goes Patchwork proving me wrong. This is by far one of the best stories I’ve read in months. The gist of the story is ‘this is how Filthy Rich and Spoiled Rotten met,’ but there’s so much more beneath the hood. Added into the mix is Spoiled’s motivations and how it ties into this ‘pony meets pony at a bar’ story.
Full of internal narrative that digs deep into Spoiled’s psyche, this story meanders a clever path down old territory, but hardly feels that way because of the strength of its prose. Every word is chosen with a level of skill rarely seen even in the most well-known authors of Fimfic, and yet it still doesn’t come across as trying. Everything about this story flows naturally—from the word choice, to the pacing, to the dialogue.
And don’t get me started on the dialogue. This here is how it’s done. The hesitation, the excitement, the curiosity and blatant forthcomings—all of it hits home right when and where it needs to keep interest high. Even the more suggestive flower talk (especially, actually) really sells this fic. I couldn’t stop reading this story. I was almost late for work because of it.
Dont pass this one up. Of all the stories in this round, this is the all-around must read.
More often that not, romance stories tend to bore me. It’s the same old plotlines, the same old high school awkwardness, the same old declarations of love at the end.
This story cuts through all that horse manure and depicts two people having a mature discussion about their place in life and what they hope to achieve with each other. There’s a little bit of awkwardness, but the story doesn’t dwell on it because the characters involved have moved past those cliches. It was a refreshing read.
You learn a lot about Spoiled Rotten and Filthy Rich in the short time you spend with them. The story flows naturally, giving us what we need to know but taking the time to flesh out these ponies and getting us to relate to them. Heck, I was feeling kind of bad for Spoiled Rotten and her plight, even as she fully admits that her advances toward Filthy Rich are a little selfish. Filthy comes off as a naturally charming individual, making me all the more glad that Spoiled found him when she did.
So, if the typical dating shenanigans of your average romance is feeling a little samey and the phrases, “I love you,” and “I love you, too” are getting trite, look no further! Background ponies sure do get some good characterization in this fandom.
A collection of poems about Luna's growing discontent, her fall, and her eventual return and redemption. This is by no means meant to offer a narrative take on these events, though the poems are arranged in what may be considered a chronological order. Instead, they are meant to reflect on the emotional experience of the sisters during these events. The framing device should hopefully offer a little more insight into the idea behind these.
Mmm, poetry. Scratch that, good poetry. Phenomenal poetry! I could go on with the adjectives, but let’s get into this one, shall we?
Before I say anything else, let’s get rid of the damnable elephant that always finds itself in the room whenever the subject of poetry is brought up: is it actual poetry, or is it just words dumped on a page and someone standing on a soapbox proclaiming it to be poetry because they said so?
We wouldn’t be featuring it if it was the latter.
Go ahead, count the syllables. Count the lines, the stresses and unstressed, feet and meter, rhyme scheme. It’s all properly there, and that alone sets it above 90% of what you’ll find here on Fimfic. But this isn’t a 90th percentile poem; this is easily in the 98-99th percentile range, and that’s for what you’ll find inside that sets it apart yet further.
As the tin says, this is less a story of how the sisters had their falling out and more on the feelings passing between them. The turns of phrase and word choice are delicious in their own right, and this one treads the line between too oblique and just concrete enough that what’s truly being said is never far out of reach while still maintaining that splendrous air that is poetry’s and poetry’s alone.
That said, it is poetry, and is very dense in information. Read this one slow—this one requires it—but by Celestia, don’t pass it up.
I’ll freely admit, poetry isn’t really my thing. I have a hard time following the prose and the story it’s trying to tell. However, what I can appreciate is the time and effort it takes to come up with the necessary rhyming and symbolism found throughout The Sisters’ Coronet.
Even though this is a fairly short set of poems, the word choice impressed me. The author gives Luna an artistic flair as she pours her soul into each one, chronicling her experiences before, during, and after her time as Nightmare Moon. The meticulous writing had to have been tough to iron out. People who are more inclined to appreciate that sort of thing and have fun deciphering exactly what’s going on will get the most out of this.
Not much more to say about this, I’m afraid. You’ll know if this is your jam after the first few poems.
STORY 4
Numberography, by ph00tbag
Once upon a time, ponies did not know how to count very far. Clover the Clever tells her two young fillies the story of how her mentor, Starswirl the Bearded, learned the secret of counting from the dragons.
Oh, god, why? A Celestia/Luna filly bedtime story? My heart can’t handle this.
It is a bedtime story about his Starswirl the Bearded leaned his to count higher than four, because that's as high as ponies could count on his day. Why? Because they only had four hooves, of course! Or eight, if two ponies were working together. This is the kind of humor I love from the show, and it shines through here bright as day.
How do you take something so simple, so mundane as counting to four (or eight!) and turn it into a chucklefest full of warm feels and witty perspective? You play it straight! It’s so innocent in its execution that you can’t help but laugh. And not only does it make for silly comedy, but it draws from a believable perspective on the matter: the ponies Starswirl poses his question to all have their logical reasons for never counting above eight, and their thought processes stick to the prejudicial nature we see in the Hearths Warming episode, which adds yet another layer of delicious atmosphere to the story.
I have to add that the back and forths between Starswirl’s story and the bedtime scene of Celestia and Luna really sells this one. From the fillys’ quips to the general moderation of pacing, their addition to the story adds a dash of cute humor and pause from the story’s action. That, and I could read about these two bickering back and forth all day.
Even if that cuteness is all you’re here for, you won't leave this one disappointed.
This was a cute one.
Framed as a bedtime story for foals, Starswirl the Bearded goes on a journey to learn how to count past four and eight. Why four and eight? Because that’s how many hooves a single pony has, eight if they can convince another pony to help them.
What’s so fun about this tale is how Starswirl consults with all types of creatures to learn about their ways of counting, but keeps running into a dead end each time due to culture differences. It’s not until he meets a dragon that he’s able to break past the single digit limit and has a brainsplosion of an epiphany. The banter between him and the dragon and the rocking of his numeric world is quite amusing.
Clover the Clever and her two rambunctious fillies are also funny in their own ways. Clover with having to explain a simple concept that wasn’t so simple years ago and the fillies interrupting her due to too much sugar in their system.
A lovely story that got a chuckle out of me and some feels to boot. Now stop counting the words and get to readin’!
“Good, all set then,” Red said, giving a satisfied nod.
Intern gave a relieved sigh.
“So what were those things you gave me first? I hope you’re not using Seattle funds to buy things we don’t need.”
“Of course not!” Intern said heatedly. “Who do you think I am?”
“A lowly, underpaid, intern.”
“Besides that.”
“The guy we like to abuse for our own amusement.”
“Or that!”
“Some poor smuck--”
“You know what? Here.” Intern thrust the receipts in front of Red’s muzzle. The squirrel read them over, then his eyes widened.
“This is…”
“A year’s supply of maple nuts and three packs of bacon lollipops. Your wedding present.”
Red stood there, his mouth agape. Finally, he shut it with a snap, took off his hat, and nervously scratched his head. “Um, sorry. Thanks bud.”
“You’re welcome.” Miffed but mollified, Intern gestured towards the Treehouse. “Wanna get a taste test in?”
“Yes! Lead the way!”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
I came to find a review about underrated stories...only to find I already read half of them!
Good poetry, you say? I'll bite.
SIsters' Coronet and Numberography for the win. :D
D'aww!
You...didn't crash the plane? I guess there's a first for everything.
The link for Hench leads to the author's profile, not the story.
4127625
Due to site rules, we're not allowed to link to mature stories. So just click on the author and browse through his stuff and you'll find it.
Thanks so much for the review!
4127625
I think that's because it's rated Mature and we're not supposed to directly link to M content in blogs.
I remember Hench. Good fic. I also remember that the author's avatar used to be a picture I had commissioned from an artist.