I Wrote This Blargh at 9:30am Because I (Didn't) Sleep · 2:53pm Jul 23rd, 2016
I'm Trying Suuuuuuper Hard You Guys
F'naaaaaaa.
The following is why you should ration the time/intake of Dr. Pepper.
I've been thinking about some things. Strange, I know.
Drama. Apparently it exists in this fandom. Apparently it exists on this site.
Perhaps it's something about me as an individual. I've often considered myself relatively... numb or unresponsive to objectively horribad stuff. I find myself falling in lurve with artistic material mostly for the idea of it and not so much the execution. I'm not easily offended when something becomes critically "awful." Maybe it's a warning sign of some lack of intelligence. Or perhaps I'm just a water-off-the-back kind of a lemur.
But, realistically speaking, I think it's just because I'm constantly inflicting upon myself a sort of... blissfully ignorant tunnel vision. It's potentially an egotistical thing, as well. Take poniwords, for instance. I'm so engrossed in writing and producing horse literature that I scarcely ever take the time to read anything. And usually when I do read something, I'm mostly positively impressed... perhaps because I lack the heavy exposure to legitimize was is truly good from what is truly bad. Long story short, I'm easily impressed with stuff in general... which I suppose is fine if that's all you want in entropic digi-existence.
All of that being said, something I've never quite... had the capacity to understand--especially in this fandom--is drama. Drama over show production. Drama over canonical plot contrivances. Drama over cease and desist letters. Drama over "leaving the fandom." That's probably my own fault for not being too richly engrossed to see that deeply into truly spaghetti-inducing facets of the poni poni poni sphere. But is that necessarily a bad thing?
From day one, I've picked up on how intense bronies can be about the fandom and what it means on some social/philosophical scale. I've never understood the need to... take it so seriously. To wear it on one's sleeve and then take mighty offense over the smallest of criticisms for it, as if digging a cartoon show is somehow as personally and soultastically binding as gender identification or sexual orientation. Sure, I have t-shirts, and for a long time I wore a poni-related lanyard at work (only until regulations forced me to ditch it, whatever). But to me it was a source of comfort to express that part of myself, and only with close friends did I ever do the annoying oversaturating brony schtick, just for the sake of silly irony.
And, yes, there are perverted spheres of the fandom... undeniably cringey stuff. But that's the Internet for you. Hard not to rub elbows with stuff that makes marsupials... hard. And besides, I think I've made it abundantly clear to the Interwebs that my heart and soul have preferred even more cringey things since time immemorial. Hoop skirts and glass slippers are one thing, but let's let horses be horses and humans be humans. Even restaurants that serve spaghetti can afford separate menus. F'naa?
But... I guess I need help in understanding what it is that motivates individuals to wage abstract war with each other over colorful talking equines. There's something... necessarily depressing about this fandom--relegated to a vocal minority who's bent on exposing some self-confirmed prophecy of a digital horsepocalypse. Every so often, you hear woeful tales of "so-and-so is leaving the fandom," and I'm trying to figure out... precisely where this obsession began. This incessant need to fixate on... hoof decay? I speak of those who bemoan depressing Hasbro ratings reports and other such statistics that indicate the inescapable heat death of Lauren Faust's universe (or perhaps it died several years ago and we are all the broken philosophes dwelling madly in her shadow). Is there a dead horse goddess to bury if there's no shovel to be found?
And then there's the China Syndromes. The veritable Chernobyls of fimfic authors, deviant artists, and youtubers who reach some inescapable boiling point and then unavoidably collapse, spilling vitriol and phlegm and manic-depressive rhetoric all across the verdant Ponyvillean countryside, only to vanish over the foggy horizon and neverrrrrr returrrrrrn. Whelp, people move on, and things die. It's perfectly natural. It should be perfectly natural. And yet, for some reason, it always seems to necessarily resonate with orgasmic intensity whenever it comes down to all things horse horse.
Or, at least, so I am told. These kind of things I tend to find out tangentially, oftentimes long after I'm supposed to be dismayed about them. Again, I blame the tunnel vision. But there's something else... something that I tend to think about whenever I manage to sit my hairy butt down and write something.
Fun. I joined this fandom because of fun. Not only that, but I saw an amazing and electrifying movement (which, quite honestly, still electrifies me today) where I could engage myself creatively and (gasp) maybe even be noticed. Quite luckily, this has worked out pretty well for me. I've managed to get a lot of my ideas into marsupials' heads. Not only that, but I have made some very... very good friends out of all of it. One whom I pen-pal'd with for over two years. Another whom I've gone to Disney with three times. Another whose wedding I've been invited to. And then there's the whole Noble Jury phenomenon--which has since expanded beyond the goofy expectations of a fanfic chat and has brought me no end of respect and admiration and contentment.
And when I look back in my mental map of the past, I realize that I joined this fandom for the very same reason that I continue to partake in it. Because I choose to. Because I personally find within it something that makes me happy.
There was nothing ever forcing me to become a Brony. From day one, I thought the whole thing was silly. But what made me fall so madly in lurve with it was not so much the canon show or Lauren Faust's genius production strokes (f'naaaa), but the fact that so many random individuals--mostly of ironic standing--found in the series an excuse to creatively (and competitively) challenge themselves into colorful, quirky, and entertaining expression. And for everything I've ever written fanfiction for, the source material has always been the ten percent... the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. In other words, even if the show produced a seventh season that was worst than Star Trek Voyager in its quality, I would still be dedicated to it because the source material would continue to be an excuse for me to dive into the real meat: the fan products that blossom forth from it. It's basically as though MLP:FiM is Christianity and each of us are writing a separate Book of Mormon every day. It's a constantly creative cancer. And I love it.
That being said, it's still sort of a... narrow point of view that I have. And add to that the fact that I almost exclusively obsess over my own contributions to the fanon sphere and... well... f'naaaaaaaaa. I really don't deserve to have any soap box to stand on.
So, then, I sometimes wonder... how far does my ignorance spread?
And... could it be that I myself have been a source of drama... and yet I don't know it?
I can think of numerous potential examples: my calamitous involvement with the LOEG, the unfulfilled itinerary, all of the poor victims I roped into the titanic Project Horizons fiasco, the birth of the hugbox, L-Day, and the oodles and oodles and oodles of failed projects and other such elephants.
And, just perhaps, my worst quirk of all: abject silence.
I think it can be safely (and obviously) said: I'm not a very social lemur. I'm also insanely lazy... which is ultimately what leads to PMs unanswered, comments unaddressed, cooperative projects unfinished and dead elephants non-eulogized. There's more to it than just being a sloth. A lot of times I just... feel inadequate for throwing my thoughts into the crucible. Only once in a blue moon do I write a blargh like this. For the most part, I've always wanted to have my own stories speak for themselves--as moronic and long winded as they may be. It's a complex that runs deep, maintaining an age-old lemuriffic philosophy (both irl and online) that the more you "tell" about yourself, the stupider you become.
To that extent I have long constructed a red herring--a quasi realistic effigy of myself that forces following marsupials to dream up only a specific number of things when connecting with this lemur:
And while I am in many ways undeniably proud of this iconography, the device does occasionally turn into a double-edged sword. I speak of dark, dusty nights where I wake up in a puddle of cold lucidity, shuddering at the realization that my life exists solely within the confines of two computer desks and a retail job, and I am consistently funneling myself through this glass tube, becoming gradually and unavoidably transparent with each petticoat layer I stitch to somehow lampshade my basement child doom.
I'm not complaining. Not really. I relish in the memes that define me more than I occasionally, spastastically loathe them. And for the most part, I take pride in the possibility that all of these exterior edifices have done a succinct job of keeping me an idea more than a person. An idea more easily becomes one with the narrative that is being produced. A person--something with a face, a voice, and a tumblr account--is more susceptible to utter and complete collapse... if not of character than of integrity. But an idea? Ideas can go on forever.
If that sounds pretentious, that's only because it is. There's a necessary sacrifice with it, though. Oftentimes--more than anyone can possibly realize--I've daydreamed of going to poni poni poni conventions (including the big one). I've daydreamed of meeting other people, chatting up about my stories, visiting artist venues, chatting up about my stories, attending panels, chatting up... about my stories... f'naaaaa. Meh.
See a pattern here? If the lemur was stripped of all hair, then all you'd have underneath is ego (ew). I've had waking nightmares of finally finding the guts to attend some horse!spaghetti panel somewhere, sitting down with far better writers than myself, and... finding out that I have nothing to say. No advice to give. Cuz I'm not a good writer. I'm just a writer... and a very obsessive one at that. And obsession is rarely ever conducive to positive instruction.
So, with all of this rambling having been tossed to the revolving Christopher Nolan walls of our collective subconscious, and with the ever looming shadow of the hugbox hovering over my lumpy dad fat, I ask you marsupials... have I ever come across as a source of unnecessary drama? Am I too antisocial? Have I, in any noticeable way, been a proverbial dick to this community? And, if any of that may be true, what could I do to improve lemuriffic relations with those of you gracious enough to read my too long didn't read?
No, this is not a direct reaction to anything. Nobody's accused me of being a jerk or dramatic or whatnot. Some esteemed marsupials might find some dots to connect, but I assure you they're unrelated. It's just something that's been floating around my head as of late and I suppose I felt the need to digivent. Again, once in a blue moon
This whole horse experience has brought me a great deal of contentment and shall continue to do so. And, at the same time, it leaves me with this one undying sensation at the end of every day... that I could always stand to be producing more. More... more... more... and somehow I feel that--even when the last star of the cartoon equine galaxy has fizzled and died--I will still be encumbered by the undying itch that I haven't written enough.
Aside from that... there's really nothing to regret. It's a good enough idea to embrace, even if it's in the shape of a sickle and not that of a box.
-SS&E (who just now got called in to work a full closing shift, lulz... better get two hours of sleep)
You kind of remind me of the Judeo-Christian God. Withdrawn, enigmatic, and so open to interpretation that nobody actually knows if they're defending the person or the idea. Also, everyone is torn between describing your most time-consuming projects as either crap, the greatest thing of all time or crap worth worshiping regardless.
Who has provided the most?
The person who writes 10 stories but they are all good
or
The person who writes 100 stories of which 20 are good.
Do you resent the former person for not having written 100 stories?
Thing is the 20 that people pick are DIFFERENT from one another for the latter.
If every story you write is loved by everyone then you are actually probably doing something wrong -- At least you aren't pushing the envelope in a meaningful way.
One quote from Koch was ”If you agree with me on 9 out of 12 issues, vote for me. If you agree with me on 12 out of 12 issues, see a psychiatrist.”
The same thing can be said for writing.
No, you've never been a source for drama. As far as drama on fimfic goes, it exists in a world of its own. There is a group that specializes in it (http://www.foalfreepress.net) and it is as entertaining as it is baffling. It is from people you've never heard of in subgroups of subgroups, usually involving lying or sock puppet accounts. The moderation on this site is great, so you have to try really hard to have a problem with the rules.
Dramatically announcing that you're leaving pony is another hilarious thing we've seen over and over again, mostly by people who've never been obsessed with anything before. Protip: If after spending hours a day on pony for weeks, you want to cut back to an hour every two or three days, your not falling out of love, your just regaining control of your life. The cleanest exit I've seen was from AbsoluteAnonymous, a 16 year old girl (although her very mature blogs and thoughts seem to be deleted).
As far as I have seen you are a friendly person from whom no interpersonal drama that I have seen has spread.
Some of my writer friends talk about you with a tinge of envy at your popularity, but they don't actually feel any anger at you as a person because, belike unto John Stewart, you always act so bewildered at your own situation that nobody could ever call you arrogant.
If there is drama from you it isnt from how you conduct yourself, so dont worry about that!
It may come from some of your stories themselves, though:
I'll admit I am one of *those* people who still hesitate before reading any of your stories because of how upset I was at the end of Background Pony. It still sits in the back of my mind whenever I see your username in the featurebox.
Honestly? I think your model of doing things and being enigmatic works out nicely, as evidenced by the near godlike reverence you command in this fandom. I've taken issue with some of your stories and, years ago, even had some negative things to say after not particlarly liking a couple of your stories (no writer can please everyone all the time), but I respect you as a talented and imaginative writer whose sheer volume of output is mind-boggling. (I despair of ever catching up on Austraeoh, as I'm still on Odrsjot.
)
In the end, all I can say is that you get out of the fandom what you put into it. If you, personally, feel that staying committed to writing without engaging in all the drama is your most optimal state, there's no real reason to change that. Some of us would probably do better to respond less frequently to comments and such.
If you want to get more involved and interact more, that's good too...you seem laconic enough to not get pulled into the same kind of drama others tend to. Some of us are maybe a bit too hot-blooded for our own good.
Oh, and to address your actual point--I don't get the "I'M LEAVING! THIS! FANDOM!!" dramabombs either. I honestly think anyone who pulls that crap is just looking for attention. If I quit a forum somewhere, or a website, or whatnot, I only make a parting post if I have something to say--usually to address a problem with the people in the forum, or to apologize for anything I did or said to offend everyone I've burned bridges with. But for the most part, if I leave, I just leave. I've never left "a fandom" before--because that's stupid. You're either a fan of something or you're not. Leaving an arbitrary community of fans isn't the same as leaving "a fandom", and I think people maybe get too full of themselves and overestimate their importance to the overall experience people have with one thing or another.
Or maybe not, I dunno. I mean, MLP:FiM wouldn't still be going if not for bronies. So who really knows.
Sorry for that, didn't mean to start rambling incoherently. Anyway, yeah...people who create too much drama in this fandom just for the sake of creating drama, bleh.
You've always seemed like a pretty chill, grinding person to me.
In the time I've known you, heck, back from the good ol' /fic/ days even, you haven't been a source of drama.
Have you become an idea? In some ways, yeah, but in others, not at all. You're still a person and as such, who you are tends to come out in your writing, especially in your blargs. Given that, you still seem pretty human to me. Someone who takes joy in a few simple things and a few friendships, despite his tunnel vision blindness to all things dark and terrible (however much an awareness of those things leaks into the fics themselves). Still as much you as you've always been, but you do indeed seem much happier now.
Your still a person to me, even though I've never really gotten your real name (if I ever did, then I've forgotten it, sorry). And I see no drama around you. Then again I'm also super oblivious to drama and unnecessary worry about the natural way of things.
Anyway, to be less verbose, you're fine. ;P
Anything you find to be a comforting gesture,
PiercingSight
One should never lose sight of fun, for if we do, then what is the point of fanwork? I'd say you've been anything but a drama catalyst... but my own viewpoint is rather similarly narrow, since I try to avoid drama whenever possible.
But yeah, skirts is a pretty cool guy. Eh writes pone and doesn't afraid of anything.
This isn't a bad thing. If you can keep a sense of knowing when to stay out of stupid shit, the better.
...You could still stand to interact more with people, true.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Wow, where to start?
I'm very much like you and very much not like you. I'm a quiet dude who goes back and forth between my job, my laptop, and my bed. I have something of a tunnel vision. I don't go to cons. I don't keep track of all the drama. I don't understand stuff about celebrities or cars or sports or Call of Duty cause I don't feel like I need to keep up with what other people are keeping up with. When people get angry about stuff, I don't usually get it because I so rarely get angry.
At the same time, I don't like fun. I'm a serious dude who really likes to think about every detail I like or don't like about the entertainment I see, especially Pony. I'm a consumer, not a creator. I love the show, and for me, loving something and taking it too seriously are pretty much the same thing. I'm very OCD, and I continued to like the videos of, for example, Digibro and Tommy Oliver even after people started complaining that they were just nitpicking. You mentioned videos getting taken down, and something I find irritating is the way copyright is handled on Youtube, and I'm a believer in #WTFU because folks like Nostalgia Critic and TheMysteriousMrEnter are some of my heroes. Some of my favorite things these days are videos of people expressing their opinions, positive and negative.
As for the show getting worse, well, it kind of already has for me. I still find it a watchable cartoon, but past Crusaders of the Lost Mark, the show took a big dive for me from being really good to just kind of whatever. I'm not mad about it. I can't imagine crating a big stink about it. But it will always be bothersome to watch a series I like go downhill. I'm still quite sore about that when it comes to The Simpsons and Silent Hill. But My Little Pony was such an unexpected good thing in my life, for obvious reasons. I didn't expect it to be enjoyable. I went in with morbid curiosity and came out with one of my life's best experiences. I also didn't expect to enjoy the first two thirds of season five as much as I did. And really, the show did everything I really wanted it to do during its first four and two thrids seasons. Twilight became a princess. There was a big plot heavy explody episode (Twilight's Kingdom). And the Crusaders got their marks. There are little things I would like to see, like a good episode about Twilight's childhood and an explanation for what the hell the Tree of Harmony is, but that's small stuff. Really, to me, the show did it. 10/10. And I can't imagine whatever happening after tarnishing all that. Hell, after a pretty crummy first movie, even Equestria Girls got good.
As for leaving the fandom, umm, I'm not sure what to think. I'm not sure where I draw the line between brony and not brony. I don't know at what point I would stop bring a brony or what that would mean. I guess whether or not someone calls themselves a brony is their choice and there's no real scientific formula for it.
Have you seen that South Park episode, Cartmanland? Cartman buys a theme park that is doing poorly and doesn't let anyone in. This makes everybody really want to get in, so when Cartman is forced to open the park to people to keep up costs, the park gets successful. Maybe you were too antisocial at one point, but because you were quiet for so long, now everything you say is that much more interesting. You're my favorite Fimfic author for your stories, but you're one of my favorite people on the internet for what you get across in your blogs and in your kaizo snazzy kaleidoscope petite f'naaaaaa identity.
I kinda feel the same way, really. I only hear of drama if someone else mentions it or if it gets mentioned on some news site or blog or other. It feels best to just ignore the rest. Less of a headache like that.
Drama is by its very nature necessary for someone, otherwise it isn't drama. Good drama is drama that is necessary for everyone!
Edit added: As long as people discuss stuff that's of importance to them there will be drama. What causes bad drama is that some people can't abide others seeing differently the stuff that's important to them, either in its definition or even in terms of its importance. They can't imagine that there is more than one "right" way to see the world, and that's sad.
I have over 35 years of participation in on-line communities, and over 50 of dealings with the flesh and blood kind. In every community there is a significant percentage who define others thusly: "You either support what I say, or you are a dick." If you have opened your mouth or put word to page, no matter how nice, polite to the point of sounding Canadian you make them, then someone will call you a dick. You learn to live with it. Unfortunately many people take the "dick people" seriously (dips for short) and they leave the community (even if others stepped up to defend them) in which case the dips win. Also, some of the dips develop a taste for driving people out of communities - that's how dips evolve into trolls. Many communities' admins actively try to ban trolls, but that usually just keeps them out temporarily. Some admins don't even try anymore. That's sad, but you learn to live with that to.
Just be yourself, dude! Anyone who asks more of you is just some dip trying to drag you down. What bozos! And as Guy Kawasaki says: Never let the bozos drag you down!
Blog, dream, and write your horse words. Those who really care love you for it, and that won't change.
Wait, are you saying you're actually NOT a lemur? #Skirtsgate
I wouldn't worry too much about the drama. I've never seen anything and I can't say I know you but from the few blogs like these you come off as a pretty level-headed guy. I doubt anything you could say or do would be able to hold a candle to some of the other crazy events that this fandom has gone through.
Please, take any of my advice with a grain of salt, I'm no artist and this might be completely over my head but it doesn't seem right that you should have to keep from sharing what you're passionate about with others who share your interests for the sake of an idea.
I once read near the end of a pretty great story on this site:
This is kind of an interesting philosophy, particularly to me because it's one I used to espouse quite a bit and one that I've flirted with for many years, both IRL and online (though it's definitely made easier online; literally all information is up to how you choose to share it, and you can carefully craft that online appearance and persona for certain reactions). And for me, I guess it seems so attractive because yeah, the work that you do will stand for itself. But that's almost a different kind of not telling... there's a difference between literally not saying anything (which I'm sure some authors on this site do, but in particular with Imploding Colon at the beginning) and then what you do, which is saying things and at times saying a lot of things, but often it's saying things out of long periods of radio silence and saying enough things to keep people interested. You post long blog posts that discuss your fanfics, your feelings, or otherwise interesting topics.
I love your stories, but at this point your blog posts have become as much of a highlight because that's when I get to see you talk and, while it's obviously through some sort of filter, it still lets me get to know a little more about you, this vaguely mysterious but pretty cool-seeming author of fanfictional works that I dig. And I don't mean that in a creepy stalkerish "I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU" type way... you just have an endearing sort of personality (or persona, I guess) that you let through, and it lures me into caring, especially with that vibe of mystery (which isn't a bad thing, by any means.) You're one of those people on the internet whose writing voice is so utterly hilarious and yet filled with an ennui that I could just read what you say for hours. (And 'cause of your stories I have lol)
And it is interested to think that yeah, you have a vibe of mystery about you. Which is kind of strange, when you think about it, because you do post long blogs about stuff quite often and you let the marsupials know when there's an interruption or a change in fanfictional plans. Maybe it comes from the old days when you'd post those blog posts with just a bunch of images and gifs and shiet. Actually, scratch that; it totally is because of stuff like that. But I don't think that's a bad thing, as long as you're having fun and being who you want to be.
I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with not responding to people's PMs or comments, though it might be nice to just hear something back even if it's a one- or two-word response. But I don't think that's necessarily something to feel obligated to. Honestly, I think you've done a lot for us marsupials (even if you'll never think it's enough). But if you ever do want to open up more—particularly, with going to a con—I don't think there's anyone here who wouldn't appreciate it. I know you don't think you have anything to say of particular worth, but trust me, even if you can't unlock the secrets of how to make good/long fanfics, you still have important things to say and I've actually gotten a lot out of what you've said in blarghs and on your few podcast appearances. Shrug. I'd kind of encourage it, but hey. You should do what you're comfortable with and would like to do.
(As a final aside... the timing of this blog comes super wyrd for me as I saw it just as I woke up from having a dream in which we had a Noble Jury meetup and you were there and I saw you just kinda standing by this table of food, eating, like, rice crackers or some shit and I asked you a question and you just kind of turned towards me and gave me a really weird look before turning away.)
So, yeah. I don't think you're drama-causing, and I don't think you're a dick. Hell, a lot of the time you don't even feel all that 'mysterious'. Maybe you can be a little inaccessible, but it's kind of seemed to me that that's how you like it; while you like the people and the friends and fans you've made, you kind of don't want to become too entrenched in it and to overshare. Which is fine. You do you, ya fuzzy lemur <3
You do seem like a very antisocial person, in the way that (as you've mentioned) you're lazy as opposed to uncaring. Being less of an antisocialist could do you wonders, after all, friendship is pretty magical (even if it's not friendship, just casual talking).
Drama from you would probably be very exciting, since it'd probably be about something legitimately concerning.
It'd be an interesting day when people start to think of you less as a chun-limur drinking Dr. Pepper in a ballgown and more as a... person who writes things since he wants to write, maybe not the greatest day, but an interesting one.
Even day old spaghetti?
4108646 That's a pretty great dream. I don't know what Skirts looks like so I'm just going to mentally substitute Pen Stroke since he actually has come to SoCal Bronies Potlucks.
4108754 It really was, and I don't know what he looks like either but I could tell.
(Ah, the beauty of dreams.)
No need to get more philosophical, the only real problem here is that you need to keep a steady stock of Dr. Pepper on
handhoof....yeah, I'm all out of Dr. Pepper as I type this.
Welcome to the Internet Skirts, not everyone is nice.
This is the place for people to see how others really are, there's no need to keep up appearances on the web, what would be the point of doing so? If you say something that someone else disagrees with, are they going to punch you through the monitor? No, of course not, so there's no sense of immediate physical response when it comes to arguments on the Internet as compared to in the real world.
All this 'drama' happens everywhere on the Internet, and in every fandom large enough to warrant it in the first place. People want a place to belong, no matter what it may be about, just so they don't feel utterly alone in this world. They want to have their opinions validated by other people, so they can feel better about having them.
They also want the particular group that they belong to to never change, at least not in a way that affects them in any meaningful way, though this obviously varies from person to person as to what these harmful changes may be.
Humans are social creatures, they need interaction constantly. When something like 'drama' comes along and threatens that interaction with their group(s), they don't take it well at all. People have their breaking points, and for some it's the 'drama' that pushes them past it.
What people ultimately wish for is a situation that is both comforting to them and unchanging as time goes on, like a great sitcom that never goes off the air or loses any of it's cast.
Skirts, stop being dramatic.
But seriously. You? Drama?? I think the fact that you basically never enter your comments section to REPLY is the smartest choice you've ever made. I wish I had the balls to stay out of my own comments section. I find that once you've engaged, the expectation is set. I've recently only responded just to tell people thanks for reading, and that's all. Nothing deeper. It's easier and less potentially drama - inducing to do that.
So, how about that wedding? I hear the groom has a great mustache.
Nah. Maybe this thing, though (for a positive reason). You yourself? I wouldn't say so. You seem keenly self aware and poke fun at yourself often enough that no one can really get on their high horses about you. Not commenting/being aware about the drama until long after probably helps, too. It seems that tunnel vision of yours and lethargy is coming in handy!
Seriously though, focusing on the good things is great, and most things you could say on the [insetdramahere] itself could usually be spun against you and/or be perceived to be an attack of said person/thing; in which case, people would overreact to because that opinion is not my opinion or somethingtherather. Things will always settle down eventually.
Maybe? I personally feel you are still being social enough in your own way with this persona you've created (crazy blog posts included). The rest seeps through the stories themselves and does well enough to bridge that gap for me. It seems to work for you, and it seems to work for me. Maybe I'm crazy for thinking that.
Others readers might want you to communicate more and that's up to you to decide and whether you're up to it or not. I'd say, only if you want to get more involved willingly rather then a sense of obligation to the marsupials out there would I say sure to it. Not that I'm some sort of authority on that type of thing. With the way you've set things up, I really can't blame people for being curious about you.
Only in a way that you perceive to yourself by not giving your all (writing as much as you can), or by not being involved enough socially. Fimfic at it's core is about horsewords which you've provided many, many of. The sub-communities which form around them and the social aspect of it are just extra niceties from the way I view things. To expect more then just the horsewords from you is selfish on the part of the community I'd say! Although, you can flip that around in a weird - great power comes responsibility type deal - claiming you have the ability to do more, and wasting it would be bad in which I would have no answer to.
4108646
I was going to link that blog in which skirts famously posed in a meetup at Megacon with a lemur head photo-shopped onto him asking if he looked like that in your dream, but the picture's gone. I hope you know the one. Ah, well.
I don't think you've been a drama drama person in a bad way at all ever. In fact, I've enjoyed this enigmatic persona of yours every since Background Pony or Scale or (dare I say it) Austraeoh. I wouldn't honestly want you to change anything about how you interact with the fandom. Do what you do and us marsupials will still shake our hands at the sky and hiss, "Skkkkirrrrtsssss" at your word count.
I would see you as a source of stability actually, even as the world falls apart and everything we know is wrong, we can still count on SS&E to produce horsewords.
4110037 Oh, I know that one! Yeah, he looked exactly like that, just with less fuzz.
Enh.
In terms of absolute dickishness, you don't even rate. Being honest, you're probably the least dickish person on this site.
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You and I are pretty similar in terms of laziness too, if that means anything to you.
To be fair, you're a terrible wizard.
No, you silly. Though I quite understand self-doubt. We are all martyrs to it at some time or another.
I shall employ the medium of Disney Princesses in an attempt to counter your anxiety:
Granted, Dorothy is not a Disney Princess, but if there were any justice in the world she would be considered so.
So if you can come out from behind that curtain, you may discover that we, your fans, are all tin men, scarecrows and cowardly lions.
The day you created an account on this site, you surely knew that you weren't in Kansas anymore.
Good Lord, I've worked this metaphor far too hard.
Don't worry Oz, it's all cool beans.
dropbox.com/s/9pngaeejqx962vu/Screenshot%20from%202016-05-11%2019%3A05%3A09.png?raw=1
You contribute a great deal to the site.
You're a cool dude, bro.
It is always comforting to know, in the darkest hour, that you are churning out horsewords.
Skirts, doing the right thing is hard because people disagree and sometimes there is no avoiding drama because there is no pleasing everyone. Your attitude towards it is healthy. Your humble introspection shows your true concern for others, which is more important than this weird notion of drama.
Also, I started out writing way more than I needed
Actually, I do this often, but instead of deleting it this time, I'm keeping it here because I wonder if anyone else finds my though process strange
Playing devil's advocate
1. Keep in mind that people responding to the comments are your fans, and are going to have massive selection bias.
2. More generally, drama requires conflict. In many cases, the conflict is lack of understanding or compassion in a morally gray area. Because of the nature of the internet, it only takes one bad actor to inflate the issue, making the "drama".
For instance consider the fallouts of people saying goodbye to the fandom. It's drama because there's going to be 2 very different irreconcilable viewpoints, unless you consider the motivations of the other side.
On one side, the person leaving feels an obligation to say goodbye, and express their reason for doing so. People still in the fandom are still attached and feel defensive because it's easy to view the event as an attack. There's also a whole spectrum of gray morality on the of removal of uploaded content, among other issues that get conflated.
My guess is that it's that there are some who invest a lot of themselves into the fandom, so when they think the life of the fandom is threatened they feel personally threatened and react violently, as you'd expect someone to when threatened. Someone who makes a fandom a big part of their life will naturally fear for the life of the fandom similarly to how they fear for their own life. Just like how the fear of the dark exists because maybe there's something in the dark that can hurt you (nevermind how likely it is that there really is), so too might one fear for the life of the fandom when they see some big name who they recognize leaving or some other bad thing happening, even if it's not that likely that that event really means anything. It's a threat-identification instinct causing people to look really hard for threats, basically. And when you look very hard for something, you often (think you) find it.
I think it's wise not to comment too much or try to connect with your audience, because that wouldn't be worth it for you. You post a lot of fics, and they probably all get a decent number of comments. You really want to try to reply to even a fraction of them? That would be a pretty exhausting thing to do on top of all of your writing. Not to mention the fact that you can't really connect with so many people, at best you would be able to do so in tiny and unsatisfying ways. If you had a smaller audience things would be different, but you don't.
That being said...
Going to cons is a different thing. There, you actually get to talk directly to people, which can be significant even if the conversations are all short (unlike comments), and maybe hang out with friends you've made in the fandom personally. You said you've daydreamed a lot about it, so it seems like you already have reason to believe that you'd like it, so it might be a good idea to do.
You would be giving up a bit of your mystique by doing it, though, so you'd just have to decide based on what matters to you:
Do you think going to a con would make you happy, or does the mystique that comes with your distance make you more happy?
Say, wait, maybe you can have your cake and eat it too...
You don't have to strip away the hair: just go to cons, but cosplay as the lemur and never break character.
I haven't been following you long enough to know, but I know that I wouldn't care if you had. You seem nice enough to me, and I tend to be like you and not take drama seriously anyway, or even pay much attention to it.
I don't think you create any drama. You do what you love, because it's fun. And you seem to like when other people jump on the
trainteacup ride with you. I, for one, am happy to be on the ride.