Blinded me with... Science? · 4:41am Aug 31st, 2012
So tonight I had a very philosophically relevant experience. After an entire day of absolutely nothing going right, what with internet refusing to work, computers acting like someone had tinkered with them, alarm clocks mysteriously un-setting themselves (or at least ignoring the fact that they'd been set) and roommates having vomited all over their bathroom floor so they all needed to use mine, I decided to make something for "dinner" that was absolutely nothing but shameless self-indulgence that I should never do again: a Bacon Grilled Cheese Sandwich. I don't wanna bore you with the details, (though this IS a blog, so therefore it's explicitly for boring you with insignificant details) but it involves making bacon, cooking a grilled cheese sandwich in the bacon grease, then putting the bacon on the grilled cheese and eating it as one divine entity. But I digress.
I was standing there in front of the stove after having thoroughly cleaned the kitchen since I'm the only one who can be arsed to do it, enjoying the smell of cooking bacon when suddenly POP.
The cooking bacon crackled as it normally does, but spat a bit of hot grease out of the frying pan and into my EYE!
Of all the places that bacon grease could have hit me (and all the other places that it did) why the hell did it have to be my eye?
That has thoroughly convinced me that this entire day was specifically tailored to frustrate me and break down my will until I'm just a sobbing mass of author. However, when the most delicious and revered thing on the internet attacks and attempts to blind you, it really puts things into perspective.
It can always get worse. If you all stop getting updates to your favorite stories or just stop seeing me online, I'll say that luck had dictated it was time for the water heater to explode or at least release a potent cloud of carbon monoxide into my room.
Can't be worse then my week. College started, freshmen year. 1 million and 1 things to do killing me.
Sorry to hear about your eye friend. Still haven't tried the Bacon Grilled Cheese yet
324718 It's fantastic, I'm eating it right now in victorious revenge since it tried to put out my eye just now... I still can't see straight.
324716 Oh and I know it's not a contest, but I dare say it can be worse than your week. It's the start of my sophomore year so I have a million and four things to do. On top of the same problems as you've got, I also need to contend with rent, bills, and an awful job with yet more killer food xD
324721 There ya go, that'll teach it! Next time you make it, you need mad scientist goggles and a labcoat. Labcoats make everything better.
324721 You uhh... washed out your eye afterwords, right? Cause if you didn't, you might want to... cause you might do permanent damage if you don't...
324824 I rinsed them yeah but, bacon grease being a fat as it is, doesn't dissolve in water, and I'm not about to pour alcohol in my eyes. I don't have a safe emulsifier at this time, but if I start noticing any issues I'll go get it checked out x3 Don't worry about me! (worst comes to worst I get to either wear a monocle or a pirate eye patch and I could make the best out of either).
324836 Monocles are hard to wear...
Also, I'm Canadian, I worry about everyone...
While I love bacon, I will pass on the grilled cheese part because cheese does not love me.
I hope your eye feels better soon. Also, random fact, I can knit eye patches. If you want a knit one, feel free to hit me up. I can do basic black (duh) or something a bit more colorful. Like rainbow yarn. It turns out pretty cool.
324894 If it comes down to that I just might
oh the internet is such a magical place.
324896 I knitted one for my mom after she had to go get eye injections. Shortly after frying sopapillas, she noticed a gray film in her eye. She thought it was just a burn and figured it would clear up. Turns out it was a stroke in her eye. The injections she gets help, but it probably won't ever be the same.
But if you don't notice a gray blurriness, you shouldn't worry about an eye stroke.
324906 Well I'm 19 with no family history of strokes per se, so if I'm getting them then that means I shouldn't be frying bacon anyway xP but I think I'll be fine. There wasn't even any irritation until the molten hot bacon fat splattered into my eye.
324909Yeah, that shouldn't be your problem. But now you know that's a thing. (I definitely didn't until it happened.) Best of luck with your visual endeavors. I am quite familiar with it, as I have been bespectacled for about 12 years now. And my vision's pretty poor.
Instead of I digress, I read it as I digest XD
a.deviantart.net/avatars/l/y/lyramotherofgodplz.jpg
D'aawww, it's okay Sammy! I still wuvs you!