MLP Episode Review: Wonderbolt Academy · 3:00am Apr 27th, 2016
So... time to go to the Danger Zone? IS Dash's muzzle gonna write checks her body can't cash? Is it obvious I haven't watched Top Gun in a decade or so? ;) Well, get set. Get ready to be tested as we attend...
Wonderbolts Academy
We open with a shot of Dash's cloud-house, then a pan down to her mailbox and the Mane Six. It's a picnic, and Pinkie is bouncing around like she's on a sugar-high. So normally, then. :p We get quick exposition that they're waiting for Dash to see if she'll get into the titular Wonderbolt Academy. Applejack says she should, since she's the best flier in Ponyville. Dash brags and goes off she's probably the best flier in all of Equestria. No, no ego problem with this one! *Rolls eyes* She even thinks they'll make her a Wonderbolt on the first day.
the mailman arrives, and Dash does a fakeout about not getting in. Eh... kinda funny, but still a dick move. Pinkie's happy, and nearly collapses Dash's lungs with a hug. Squeeze tighter, Pinkie... She flies off. Applejack wishes her luck. "Don't need it!" Ugh. Pinkie pulls out a megaphone the size of a tractor and shouts out to not forget to write. "Think she heard me?" Okay, funny. :)
After the opening, there's a nice little martial theme as Dash flies to the peak of some mountain. Dash flies by and we see exercises, training maneuvers, marching, all that sort of stuff. Dash flies into the camera and we get a nice fade into the next scene-the new recruits lining up for first inspection by Spitfire. We have Bulk Biceps, Raindrops, Thunderlane and others I can't ID off the top of my head. Spitfire is... not that intimidating. :p Lightning Dust snarks back to Spitfire, who... gives them five-hundred laps, but otherwise doesn't really chew her head off. Dash and Lightning Dust speak for the first time, too. They get along fine.
Back to Pinkie in Ponyville and the mailbox. Applejack leads her away, or tries to. Pinkie's mind goes on a chain of disaster dominoes if she's not there to get the letter right away. Pinkie... heart's in the right place.
Back at the Academy, we see the recruits in their new uniforms. High collars are the first thing noticed. In order to learn how torecover from spin-outs, they're gonna go on the dizzitron. I think I rode something like that once at the Rochester Fair. :p Dash and Dust volunteer, but first is some pink mare. 15 seconds. Dash is next, and to her credit recovers damned fast. "Six seconds, new record." And we have Spitfire's new catchphrase! Dust asks for max speed. On the meter we go from turtle to rabbit to skull and wingbones. 6.5 seconds. Dash has a new special somepony!
Spitfire tells them they'll be paired into lead and wing ponies tomorrow. In the mess hall, Dash learns she's... wing pony to Lightning Dust. Hah! :D We cut to Spitfire... stamping autographs. Dash walks in and asks why she was made wingpony. Spitfire says they'll be unstoppable, so what's the problem? Dash wants to be lead pony, but Spitfire thinks Dust pushes herself harder. She goes back to stamping autographs.
Outside, they get divvied up for a flag hunt. It's red versus blue, and I can't make the HALO joke since I've never seen an episode of that web series. :p The pink mare says it's gonna be fun, and Spitfire chews her out. The pairs can't split apart, or they'll be disqualified. Dash and Dust rock and roll. Dash spots a flag, in a narrow hole. They go in, but Dash clips a wing. Dust... ignores her injury. Not cool! Back at Ponyville, Pinkie is... Pinkie. I'm gonna go inject her with tranquilizer. She freaks out and thinks Dash has forgotten them. Twilight suggests Pinkie send her a letter, then Pinkie decides a care package. Then Pinkie goes off on another tangent that someone else will get it, remember them and become their friend. Applejack even asks the audience if anyone else is following this. Applejack, I am so with you on that.
Pinkie decides to deliver the package in person, so they'll all go! Wait, can they get clearance for that?
Back at the Academy, they're gonna run an obstacle course. Spitfire says it's not a race. Remember that. Dash and Dust get stuck behind two slower ponies. Dust is impatient, but Dash says they can show off their moves. They finally speed past, blowing everyone else away. And record time, natch. Spitfire goes to bail the others out while Dash and Dust... hit the mess hall. Dash suggests next time they not cut the others like that, but Dust blows her off. Okay, it's legit weird for me to see Dash being the voice of reason, here. Dust reminds her about the dizzitron and they should be able to recover from it. Dash isn't sure, though. Nice facial expressions.
After commercials, it's more training. Looks like cloud-busting. Damn, how the hell is that scorekeeper keeping up?! Dust wants to do better, evn though she and Dash are insanely ahead. Dash has an audio flashback and goes in. So Dust... whips up a fucking tornado. And loses control. Dumbass.
And guess what? In an amazing coinkidink, the Ponyville Balloon breaches the cloud cover. "It's a twister!" Did they give Applejack that line for the Wizard of Oz reference? The ballon gets sucked in and the cables holding the basket snap. Dash flies in, whips together a super-dense cloud which bounces them up. The other trainees fly in and grab them. Rarity hugs Thunderlane, and a 'ship sails! Flitter saves Fluttershy... who embarrassingly flies off. Okay, to be fair just about anyone would be knocked about by that series of events. And Bulk saves the care package! YEAH!
Okay, Dash? You ROCK! Trainees, you also ROCK! Nice job. Pinkie's ecstatic Dash remembers them. Okay, I'm moved. Dust is... nonchalant. The fuck? She's more concerned about the clouds than her almost killing five ponies. Dash chews her out, rightfully. Dust is writing checks her body can't cash.
Dash goes to Spitfire, who is unaware of what was going on. "That's an Academy-" WE GET IT! Dash tells Spitfire about the tornado, but Spitfire says it was fine. The hell? Dash chews her out, and throws her badge down. She walks off, has a moment of, "Holy shit what did I DO?!", but sticks to her guns. The Mane Six support her, and it's legit nice. Spitfire catches up and chews her out for not letting her respond. And yeah, she says Dash is right. Dust is stripped of her rank, I think, and possibly ejected from the Wonderbolts. Dash is made lead pony and has a fangasm. Dash flies up, and the other recruits salute her. It's one of the sloppiest series of saluts I've seen. They fly off into the sunset in a legit awesome moment... which is ruined by Pinkie going on about the damned care package. Way to ruin the mood, Pie!
Thoughts
Overall... I liked it. really nice to see Dash stepping up like this. Odd, but nice. :p
Lightning Dust is an interesting contrast to Dash. As the trope page for this episode says, she's Trixie with little/no conscience. Seeing her against Dash was very interesting.
Some insane action and effects here.
However... I gotta say. I really don't like what this and subsequent episodes do to the Wonderbolts. Making them out to be incompetent, mismanaged and plain corrupt does not sit well with me. Spitfire letting Dust go on like that and basically feeding her ego was not cool. I honestly don't see what it accomplishes. It's like the Royal Guard and them being a bunch of buffoons. What's the point? Why?! There's no point I can see. At all. If it's to make Dash realize she doesn't need the Wonderbolts... that does her and the team a MASSIVE disservice. And it's quite frankly stupid.
"So my idols are really incompetent morons and I'm totally better than them? Score one for me!" Yeah, Dash really needs that ego fed. :p
Okay, tomorrow and Thursday, six episodes to go for season three. Then No Second Prances... and we'll see if I continue with the reviews... or I say, "Fuck you!" to the show and stop watching.
NOTE: Not leave the fandom. Just stop watching the show. If the New Jedi Order series didn't drive me away from Star Wars, despite being worse than the Holiday Special, this won't push me away from MLP overall.
My Silverbolt was buried near the back of my Generations/Classics shelves, and i have no Lightning Dust figure. I'm not even sure she's gotten anything, actually.
She actually has complete control back within a second of leaving the wheel.
If you become fandom only, we can share the experience!
Trust me, I know all about being fandom only...Still waiting for a Sonic game as good as generations, still sticking with SATAM
I hate to ask...but is New Jedi order that bad? Because I don't know much about it, but f its the one with Anikin dieing on me...then I can see it.
3899581
You know I got into Star Wars proper through not the movies, but the Young Jedi Knights books, right?
The New Jedi Order either HORRIBLY mischaracterized them, shoved them to the side, or fucking killed them. Lusa? Mentioned she was killed in Star By Star, mourned for half a fucking page and NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN! That pissing me off is the old 'Pacific Ocean is a bit damp'. And yes, they kill Anakin Solo in that series, too.
And I have to stop talking about it or else I'm gonna rant for about thirty pages or so. And no, I'm not joking. I hate those books so fucking much. So signing off concerning them
You've seen me have outright nervous breakdowns about upcoming episodes. To date, nothing has made me quit the show. I'm sure No Second Prances won't be that bad...
...and if it is, I might have to join you.
3899581 It is. And they killed off Chewie too, along with a lot of other characters. It's got a body count almost on par with Game of Thrones, with just about every surviving character twisted into a grotesque parody of themselves, all for the sake of some "gritty" shock value. And the baddies are ... kinda dumb and overdone. In short, the series takes a giant piss over everything the franchise stood for, and I don't say that sort of thing lightly.
"Blue versus red. It sounds silly when you say it backwards."
Good series, and I don't even like HALO.
As for everything else, I enjoy your reviews. And if you do end up not watching the series anymore... I understand. Not that I'm one to judge; I stopped watching in Season 4 because I didn't think they could top "Twilight’s Kingdom" (unless they got Mark Hammil to voice a villain)
As a Derpy Super Fan i almost hate this ep because it would have been the perfect time to bring her back for juuust a little while to do what the mailpony that did appear does.