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Aug
22nd
2015

State of the Lemur - 08/22/2015 · 4:51am Aug 22nd, 2015

F'naaa

Let's cut to the quick, shall we?


I suppose this was a long time coming.

Jake is one of the snazziest people I know on Fimfiction.net, both inside and out. He's like if Cold in Gardez joined Degeneration X. Dude capable of a lot of 'tude, and yet he's got a soft spot for ponies. Our paleolithic days of interaction is a nifty story in and of its own, involving lots of delightfully tsundere hijinks over Background Pony. Feel free to stalk him up for a smexy narration someday.

Where was I? Oh yes. Army the Jake Guy. He's a J00rist, which means that my choice in reading his stuff is relatively biased... in that I think the guy's great, and naturally that inclination is bound to affect my perception of his literary work. I read some of his “Under a Luminous Sky” a lonnnnnng long time ago. If there's one thing that Jake excels at, it's at making delicious dialogue and approachable OCs, and half of that is on full display here.

The absolute best thing about “Surrogate Dashie” is the conversations, wordplay, and nuanced background details taking place during the dialogue. And that's a good thing, cuz the oneshot is pretty much just talking ponies syndrome on Speed. It's all one scene—well—two scenes. There's a brief fight, but it's over in a few paragraphs, and then we transition into another string of dialogue... all in one location. Hell, the whole dayum thing feels like a stageplay, and if you were to replace the ponies with bipedal humanoids, then you could conceivably make a legitimate performance... and a pretty entertaining one at that, too.

A sucky thing about me (not the fic) and my limited scope in reading is that—by primarily choosing to read stuff by marsupials/lemurs I know and admire—I'm always weighing shiet by my own ego. That is to say, I know that Jake reads shittons of Austraeoh. As a result, when I read Surrogate Dashie, I'm looking for common connections between my devices and his. Sure enough (and feel free to make me run laps if I'm wrong, Tweakster), I feel like the feisty, spunky, big-mouthed Dashie of this fic could easily switch places with the East Horse of Austraeoh. And it's not just RD's brazen personality, but also little dialogue elements and a gratuitous usage of italics and em dashes in the spoken bits. Maybe it's because of how familiar—looking the dialogue stylisms are to me that I found the whole piece so dayum easy to read. Meh. Stupid ego.

But still, Jake does a lot of things that I wouldn't. Namely, he starts out a fic with a ship that's blatantly pre-established. When I write “romance” fics, I almost never have a resolution. Ponies crush on other ponies, but there's almost never a kiss or a hug or a holding-of-hooves. That's a matter of differing philosophies on shipping, I suppose, which is probably more or less the reason why Jake produced a fic like this to begin with: to exercise his own perspective on Rainbow shipping.

Do understand, I'm not claiming any of these choices on Jake's behalf are bad, they're just simply not what I would choose to do myself. The chiefest example is where the narration outright tells us “This is Big Macintosh and he is Rainbow's beau” (rainbowbeau...?). To me, I'd just skip telling it altogether and let the audience infer the truth from the actions displayed.

And oh boy do we have actions in this fic. Kissing. Frenching. Saliva trails. At one point, Rainbow just about nearly humps Big Mac onto a tavern floor. Cuz why not.

Now, I'm not one to shy away from risque content or titillating humor in a fanfic about cartoon girl horses. But I can't recall a non-crack-fic under my belt where the characters are just so... in your face about sex and coupling and muzzle-snogging as they are here in Surrogate Dashie. I mean, I suppose this is par for the course in fanfiction, but holy hell does this story have a lot of heavy pills to swallow. I mean, right out of the gate, we have to accept the fact that not only are Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh inexplicably a pair, but they're super open about it—willing to tonguelash each other in public—and then ponies march in (drunk, mind you), with absolutely no hesitation at all when it comes to discussing orgasms, shower voyeurism, cunninglingus...

Now, this is all done in a very tongue-and-cheek way that still scores the “T” rating, but it's like full force Surge with no holds barred. The fic works, and the tone of it is rather obvious from the start, but it's still a bit too intense for my liking. I dig ship fics that are more coy, take their time, and imply naughtiness rather than outright vomiting it. But, again, this fic makes it abundantly clear that there are no brakes at the beginning, and it keeps its pace and comedic touch all throughout, with the dialogue perfectly cinching the feel of it in all places. So, massive kudos.

Still, at the end, I don't find myself feeling much of a... catharsis. This is somewhat hypocritical of me, cuz I've written stores a lot like Surrogate Dashie—matching the tone comedically, at least. I just feel as though a punchline is missing. For example, we have Soarin showing up inexplicably in the middle and then fucking off to Nietzsche knows where, if only to bring up the fact that he's being intimate with Applejack and Big Mac hates it. I think a funny revelation (and something that may very well have been implied in the dialogue) could be that Applejack too shouts Rainbow's name in bed, and if this was delivered as a stinger at the end of the fic, the it would have added a smexy exclamation mark to the end of the entire manic experience. But, y'know, that's just me, and I use that device almost too much in many of my kaizo comedies.

Also, I'm having a hard time grasping... the point of this fic. I mean, if it's simply to amuse the audience with overused tropes of Dash shipping, then I'm all for it, and it made me smile and chuckle a few times. But... just what purpose did the whole Big Macintosh part serve? I mean, aside from the fact that Jake adores MacDash and wants to carry it like King Saul on his shoulders? There were amusing little tidbits thrown into the fic here and there regarding the two, but I felt that—for the most part—the shipping only served to reinforce the fact that Rainbow Dash was straight, thus mechanizing a foil for the obtuse advances of Spitfire and Lightning Dust. Did we really need to have Rainbow Dash in a mare/stallion relationship just to establish the fact that she doesn't want anything to do with her flight captain and her former adversary? I mean, let's say this was a more Skirtsian lesbian!Dash. Just because she likes fillies doesn't mean she has to fool with every one of them that trounces her way. Every individual, regardless of sexual orientation, has their own standards to live up to.

In this fic, I feel like we're given MacDash as a device... but the device doesn't really serve itself... or support itself. Sure, I understand that the two are a couple, but I'm at a loss to understand why. Maybe it's not the fic's purpose to explain that, but I'm still left wanting to know more as a consequence of the exposition having established itself far off into the perceivable future of the MLP: FiM narrative. F'naaaaa. Oh well.

Ages ago, it was my understanding that this fanfic was created as part of a writer's challenge thingy, and some lazy-ass lemur fucktard is still slacking on his end of the see-saw.

Whoops.

Well, ignoring that, let's score this fic, shall we? As part of my Clueless Reader malarkey, I give Jake the Soldier Roberts and his fanfic three and a half lesbians out of five:

Awww. That one at the end looks so lonely. Something something two tickets to a Tatu concert. Any takers?


I was wondering if y'all could do me a favor.

Could you tell me if my works have been royally slacking off in quality as of late?

I refer, of course, to the three big tumors: Ynanhluutr, Appledashery, and Things Tavi Says. I said before that I could juggle them no problem. And that's still true. However... I feel like my gung ho heartfelt effort isn't going into them. Lately, I've found myself waiting until the last second before I write... well... anything. I'll laze the day away and then slap out a few measly words around 10pm or so, just in time for the deadline. It's kinda like doing homework in high school, or whatnot.

It's a good thing that the Vinyl Scratch fic is accepted at such a minimalist effort. It leaves me more brainpower to work on the other two, which are still more important in my mind. As a matter of fact, I don't think that... Things Tavi Says is particularly that good. In fact, it really really sucks. But it's so dayum easy to read that I think most marsupials don't notice. It's the result of an experiment I've already performed many times in my "fanfictional career," in that there are people out there ready and willing to read veritable "webcomics of text." Even if the quality is lacking, methinks, people will gobble something up so long as it's accessible and consistently regular. There are so many better stories I could be doing than Things Tavi Says. That's not meant to be a woeful or defeatist statement, but merely a fact.

Doesn't help that, as of late, I feel extremely... uninspired. It's wyrd. Before my last Disney trip, I felt like I could write entire novellas each week. Then, suddenly, everything dropped off a cliff, and I just feel... lazy. Fat. Dull. Unambitious. As always, I have story ideas in my head--a lot of them I could accomplish in a few hours for instant oneshot gratification. But... I just haven't felt the need to cartwheel over that hump as of late. Which is wyrd... cuz usually it's the opposite way around. Usually I'm always feeling psychotically guilt-ridden to get stories made, and lately it's been... meh.

It's a phase, I'm sure, and I've dealt with them multiple times before. I guess part of me was hoping I could re-live October of 2014, and August was almost shaping up to be like that... but not anymore.

Thanks, regardless, for continuing to read my drivel, for indulging in my belated blarghs, and withstanding the kaizo princessy exhibitionist flounderings of this manchild across the digiwebs.

F'naa and all that jazz
-SS&E

Comments ( 27 )

Can confirm that Jake is cool beans. If he hasn't told you already, ask him about the time he taught Little Susie a new word.

Awww. That one at the end looks so lonely. Something something two tickets to a Tatu concert.

Maybe it's all the things she said.

Though I haven't yet started Tavi and am only half caught up on Appledashery, I am current enough with east horse to say I haven't seen any noticeable drop in quality. I'm actually pretty interested in this current arc and what might await Dash.

Personally, I'm willing to indulge The Things Tavi Says quite a bit just because of its musical accompaniment, since a lot of it is to my taste. Both Appledashery and Austraeoh go in cycles though. Appledashery is in the middle of a fairly compelling arc, so I find it very interesting right now. Ynanhluutr, however, seems to be in a bit of a lull, since the stakes--the emotional stakes, anyway--aren't terribly high right now, and I'm sure it'll pick up again once we get to know all of the newish characters better.

My only real criticism as far as the actual writing goes is that Things Tavi Says gets a little bit too purple at times for my tastes, but I'm sure you're aware of that sort of thing.

From what I've seen of him, Jake's a nice dewd. I've been so behind on ficreading lately it isn't even worth a chuckle (cuz, y'know, life and work and general laziness), so I haven't even started reading his fics.
-----------------------------

Doesn't help that, as of late, I feel extremely... uninspired. It's wyrd. Before my last Disney trip, I felt like I could write entire novellas each week. Then, suddenly, everything dropped off a cliff, and I just feel... lazy. Fat. Dull. Unambitious.

Idea slump. Happens to everypony, Skirts.

And, well, just generally being lazy.

After Background Pony your quality just dropped, with some few exceptions like "The Numbers Don't Lie", you have been quantity over quality for a while now, but most people aren't going to tell you that, I think you already know where to find the most "honest" opinions about your work : /mlp/ .

Wow! I totally know what you mean by the sudden loss of motivation. I have recently hit a similar wall. I don't post fiction here mind you, but I was working on a writing project everyday for like a good month, maybe two. However, I suddenly got a little sick and I decided to take some time off, but a day became a week, then a week a month, and I now become burned out just thinking of writing. I still have ideas, but now feel almost annoyed if I try to put them to paper.

I hope it will pass. My last writing burnout lasted. nearly half a year.

Doesn't help that, as of late, I feel extremely... uninspired

Such feelings happen to everyone, eventually. It's only natural for the wellspring of creativity to get a little low every now and again. I am glad to hear that you're confident that it's just a phase and that you can get past it - part of the danger of such feelings is letting it get a hold of you and draining you of hope for future creativity. While I can't speak for everyone, I know I wouldn't fault you if you wanted (or needed) to take a break and recover. Us Austraeoh/Dashery/Tavi fans can probably survive without our daily dose of Skirts goodness for a while if need be.

Could you tell me if my works have been royally slacking off in quality as of late?

Ynanhluutr: I haven't noticed any recent dips in quality, it's still an enjoyable read with a clear set goal for Rainbow and a compelling story.

Appledashery: This story has been a roller coaster of emotions and quality for me, and I almost stopped reading during the Cider Space arc. I love the character of Epcot, but there was just so many references and non-MLP concepts that I thought you had decided to just say heck all with it. The arcs since then, however, have been quite good - bringing us back on track with the direction and goals the story (and Rainbow) have set. The newest arc especially should be especially interesting to read.

Things Tavi Says: I really like your take on mute Vinyl and how she sees the world around her, though there has been a focus more on the colors she experiences rather than moving us toward finding out about 'The Event'.

Focusing on telling us about how she perceives the world is really neat (really! it's a whole different take on 'seeing' the world), but it has felt a little like procrastination recently as it takes up the vast majority of the chapters and it feels like she doesn't really do much or interact much with other ponies.

I've noticed, and I could be wrong, but it seems the story has shifted to a 'action' chapter where we see vinyl actually progressing the story and then a 'philosophizing' chapter where Vinyl just talks about what she's experiencing format. Reminds me of Lyra in Background Pony.

Did we really need to have Rainbow Dash in a mare/stallion relationship just to establish the fact that she doesn't want anything to do with her flight captain and her former adversary?

Yes.

This is Rainbow "Flirts With Danger" Dash; the perceived sexiness levels make any character or audience subconsciously reject secondhand info of Dash as limited to one type of carnal relationship!

Lol, did you just ask if I thought Appledashery was, lacking in quality?!? Probably not, I'm sure you're bombarded with enough comments about my love for it for a lifetime, you were probably asking those other people.

I'm very, very curious. What does this "F'naaa" means, anyway? Regardless, it is indeed fun to say. Just like saying, "Praaa".

Could you tell me if my works have been royally slacking off in quality as of late?

I refer, of course, to the three big tumors: Ynanhluutr, Appledashery, and Things Tavi Says. I said before that I could juggle them no problem. And that's still true. However... I feel like my gung ho heartfelt effort isn't going into them. Lately, I've found myself waiting until the last second before I write... well... anything. I'll laze the day away and then slap out a few measly words around 10pm or so, just in time for the deadline. It's kinda like doing homework in high school, or whatnot.

I noticed that you've been updating kind of late these days, but I chalked it up to you being busy with your job throughout the day or whatever else it is you do in real life besides drool over pony stuff like the rest of us. I understand wanting to procrastinate/ feeling constantly unmotivated seeing as that's how I have felt since I started college almost 5 years ago. I applaud your perseverance though because even if I was talented enough to be a writer, there is no way in hell I could write and update a story, much less 3 of them, every single day and keep it up for (at least in Austraeoh's case) a few years. And all the while having even more planned for each of them? I'm surprised you've kept going for this long. Other fanfic writers would've given up a long time ago. Really though, I'm awed at your persistence.

Now as far quality? Well, let's see...

Ynanhluutr: Hmmm, there's nothing I can really think of to criticize on this one. Right now, we're about to hit a climax, and things are happening enough at different angles to where it's hard to be bored and not wonder how miraculously everything is going to go down this time. Between RD, Bard, and WC heading towards the next seed and Theanim and Echo about to take down the Syndicate, we're all in for a show at the moment.

Appledashery: I constantly have to remind myself a few things with this one.

A) That I've been keeping up with this story since the Buffalo arc.
B) You do update daily.
C) And that if I were currently just reading this story for the first time and was trying to play catch up for a few weeks like I did with the Austraeoh series, then this might not be a problem to me.

In other words, I don't know if it's just me or what, but sometimes it seems like your pacing is just a tad bit sluggish (well, more so than usual). The last half of the Cider arc is the first to come to mind. Lately? Well, again, this could be a side effect of keeping up with a daily-updated story for so long, but there are times where a chapter sort of does feel like you wrote it and uploaded for the sake of just writing it and uploading it for the day. Kind of like you just wanted to get it over with for that particular day(s). I can't really pin-point as to how exactly that makes the over-all quality suffer, but...all I can really say is that this is the initial feeling I get at times, and it makes me think either there is something lacking or maybe a couple of your chapters could easily have been combined into one.

The Things Tavi Says: I've read only a few chapters here and there out of this so I can't give a solid opinion as to what your more recent chapters have been like, but I like what I have seen so far. You have a knack for detailed descriptions and something as semi-abstract as music and mixing that with colors on top of layering those with intense emotion and philosophy? That's quite a pleasantly unique perspective, especially since you've associated certain colors with things that people wouldn't normally associate them with (like how turquoise means death, if I remember correctly). So yeah, really interesting concept you've got going on. Even if it is going to take forever and a day to find out what the backstory is, but that's no surprise coming from you. And that's totally cool.

Even if the quality is lacking, methinks, people will gobble something up so long as it's accessible and consistently regular.

To an extent, maybe. Depends on how lacking that quality is, and how much we know you can do better.

Because for reals, you're an excellent storyteller, and deny it all you want, but you do have talent as a writer. Granted, I'm not one myself so I may not have as much merit in saying so as someone who can actually slam words down and still have them eloquently put, but I am fairly picky and it's hard to entertain me with something that doesn't have a point. If a story is long, has an excellent plot/story line, great characters, development, etc., then all of that is just an excellent bonus. :pinkiehappy:

I do think, and I wish it was otherwise, that the quality of your output has been going down. I can't even talk about your very recent output, because I'm not keeping up with your daily updates anymore, but I think it has really been all of your work and for quite a while. Since somewhere between Tethered and Refraction, I'd say. Maybe even since Scale. In fact, probably since Scale.

It used to be that many if not most of your stories (and I'm not even talking about your two grand masterpieces) were something great. They were all really different, but all had something that made them - well, great. The last tears in Tartarus. Never. I met a pony in Hell... . Icebergs. Bon Bon Bon... . Gift. Fear and Trembling. Life Scoots. The numbers don't lie. When I was thirty. Herald. I'll stop here, but the point is - all of these are fantastic. Not just worth reading, but truly something special.

Recently, it's more like 'yeah, I see where this goes'. Or 'okay, I read this, it was fun, now that was that'. The last thing you put out that I'd put onto the above list is probably Everypony cuddles, sometimes ... and even there I might be biased.

And it's the same with Appledashery and Austraeoh (though I don't know the exact time line). They seem to become, well, uninspired. I notice it less in the comedy arcs in Appledashery and more in the adventure arcs, but it's probably there in both.

I don't know why that is and I'm certainly not blaming you. All I can do is to tell you how I feel about it.

Could you tell me if my works have been royally slacking off in quality as of late?

Ynanhluutr: Starting have the feeling of a slapstick sitcom. I miss those chapters that had a lot more of the characters reminiscing about themselves, those around them, and what could be ahead. You did a lot of great backstory and interactions with characters other than Rainbow and that fleshed out the story. I understand you can't do that now in the middle of a heist, but think on it.

AppleDashery: I'll admit I'm biased here when I call Rainbow in this one "Shinji." But that's her character, however, I don't see how Rainbow could blame herself for Applebloom's condition unless she understood why it happened(If that's why it happened). Chapters are a bit shorter than usual and hasn't interacted with anypony new(like when Epcot in Cider Space, Stu in Cider Space, Fancy Pants and Photo Finish at the dinner party) and she doesn't interact with her friends when she in Ponyville for a spat. I expect her to come and be on the brink of making a deal with the devil and the consequences of accepting or declining, or find a third option. Lately she hasn't been thinking about her adversaries until they are in her zone of control. I want to see what she thinks about when this is all over. Or over what obstacles lie in her way. The only one that she gave thought to was the barrier. Good that you're starting to bring some closure to her past for good or ill.

The Things Tavi Says: Haven't read it.

If you are feeling do unispired and depressed after visiting Disneyland, I suspect Disneyland.

Have you tried looking at Dismaland instead? I assure you the website will crash long before you even get to consider booking a ticket.

Welcome, to Dismaland. :derpytongue2:

Yeah, Jake's kewl. Under a Luminous Sky is one of my top ten favorite fics.

As for quality, I only read about half of your stories, but Apple Cider Doughnuts, Sunset Shimmy, and Out of Character are some of my favorite fics. Since then, nothing I've read is what I'd call a favorite, though Kaleidoscopes was fun.

I'm not caught up on any of the dailies (and might only get caught up on Appledashery).

I was wondering if y'all could do me a favor.

Could you tell me if my works have been royally slacking off in quality as of late?

I refer, of course, to the three big tumors:

Well, let's start with Things Tavi Says (since I already gave that one thought last night when I saw this blog). I might be a little biased because I love music, along with the concept of you trying to tie in a song with the writing of each chapter. But the writing of Things is beautiful and poetic a lot of the time, and I enjoy reading it (especially the most recent chapter). As a whole, however, well...it doesn't feel like the plot is actually "going anywhere". It's been a lot of day-to-day/moment-to-moment slice of life stuff with Vinyl and occasionally Octavia, with some small plotlines to connect groups of chapters together. It's been thirty-some chapters already, and there hasn't been any advancement in the overarching question of how exactly "Tavi saved her life", much less questions rising up regarding Vinyl's synesthesia.
But eh, it's only been one month in the story's lifetime.

Appledashery feels like it's picking up again a little. I got REALLY lost during the gryphon arc and pretty much shelved the story for a straight week so it felt like I had something more substantive to read though. That arc was just weird for the most part. The arc though the caves also didn't pull me in as much as I thought it would. *shrug* I dunno.

Ynanhluutr is still going, but I can't help but feel like I've been wanting "more" (or maybe I should just try to slow down my goddamn reading speed). But mainly I'll just go with what 3338538 said. Feels a bit more like slapstick lately, could use a little more action, and I expect things are about to pick up with the heist and the Tombs (and maybe some glorious worldbuilding will be added to the mix).

Anyhow, I wouldn't fault you in the least if you just took a break from churning these out every day, or just in general. I mean it from one of the previous blogs, I thought you wrote these up some time beforehand and released them in batches, and was surprised to find out that wasn't the case.
Don't burn yourself out, LemurLord.

Okay then.

The Austraeoh series has been pretty consistently enjoyable, and I'm curious to see what happens next--in Shoggoth, Rohbreddon, and beyond. Some of the others raise a valid point about the "slapstick" (though, really, that was a minor beef of mine way back in the days of the Jury). Comic relief here and there is fine, but the series is at its best when it has a little more... gravity? Pretty minor complaint, really.

Appledashery, if anything, has been getting more interesting lately, now that things seem to be coming to a head. My biggest complaint with this story is that it's very meandering at times. Sometimes that's nice, and the story has some good slice of life segments. But sometimes it feels a little aimless. And, every now and then, there's a section that just elevates my left eyebrow clear off my forehead and makes me wonder what in the hell you're thinking. Like, pretty much the whole thing with the Bulk-Biceps-Meets-a-Griffon character we had recently. That guy was exhausting to read. But overall, I like the story. When it's on-point, it's a lot of fun to read, and the recent chapters seem to be heading in an exciting direction.

And personally, I like "Things". And I don't think it's just because I'm a fanfictional Sarlacc that'll gobble up anything that falls into my mouth. I like your take on Vinyl, I enjoy reading her interactions with Octavia, I dig the musical accompaniment, and the slice-of-lifery is really mellow and enjoyable to read. My only complaint is that sometimes I wish it would get on with it a bit--not in the sense of rushing headlong towards its conclusion, but just... y'know, being a story. Between the auditions at the castle and the obvious arc-bait nestled in Sweetie Belle's blue tones, there seem to be interesting places for the story to go, not to mention answers about the whole "Octavia saved my life" thing. This fic is a pretty strange animal, really. Some of the chapters (a lot of them?) feel like filler, but they're so warm and cozy and laced with ambience and pulled taut over an enticing pool of possibility that I can't help but savor them. F'naaa indeed.

I'unno. I'm just here for the good times, man. And your stories--serious or crackish, finely wrought or slapped together--seldom fail to supply them. That's a currency that has a lot of value in my book.

Now, if you're unsatisfied with your recent output, maybe that's something worth exploring. There's definitely a part of me that misses your more ambitious stuff. But that's gotta be your call. I'll be here either way.

Comment posted by Sparkleface deleted Aug 23rd, 2015

3338431
It is a marsupial battle cry of primal rage.

It is also the sound of a garbage truck's air brakes.

3340323

sycophants

Not psychopath. Sycophants are, to put it simply, yes-men who are unable or unwilling to criticize.

I think you misread.

3340614
I stand corrected.

3340111

Some of the chapters (a lot of them?) feel like filler, but they're so warm and cozy and laced with ambience and pulled taut over an enticing pool of possibility that I can't help but savor them.

That's the greatest way to word that that I have ever heard. It's the signature of a Skirtsian behemoth. Something that is just pleasant to be pleasant, regardless of whether or not it really advances a story. It's like a moment to sit back and relax, just enjoying the view while the characters themselves wait for the next hurdle in their respective lives to arrive.

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