"Fantastic F-up"... why super-serious super-hero movies suck.. · 10:40pm Aug 12th, 2015
They just do.
Just consider the implausibility of taking outrageous powers and trying to strip all attempt at humor, deliberate or accidental, out of the film; completely ignore the source material; toss out the origin story; throw out the characterization.
Then spend half the movie trying to plausibly explain absurd superpowers with science, and then have the villain show up and get defeated in the last 15 minutes.
Let's face it, the campy, hokey Alba version was more fun and the characters more likeable than this dull, utterly unimaginative pile of movie vomit. I think this speaks to placing too much trust in a guy whose first movie (the horrendously over-rated found-footage ALSO angsty teenager-themed superhero movie "Chronicle"... yes I did see some of that... as much as I could take before I just wanted every character to spontaneously drop dead) was a 'success' primarily due to hype rather than actual movie-making analysis.
Trank, of course, claims his original version was better... frankly, other writer-directors of flops have made the same excuse... I don't buy it. From all accounts, the guy's a jerk and has no idea how to handle a large production team. He got tossed from "Star Wars" for the same reasons. Proof in the pudding, ya know?
After the dour "Man of Steel" compared to the wildly successful "Guardians" and "Avengers" (see what happens when audiences LIKE the characters?), can we please just stop it with the morose painting of EVERYTHING?
As for a Pony link, I expect this to be the result if anyone ever dared to make a dark Pony movie... something along the lines of FOE. Sure, the angst/emo crowd would love it... but less than 0.5% of the human population will not a successful movie make.
Most people go to movies about comics and fantasy because they want to ROOT FOR THE HEROES. They want to see heroes who aren't constantly metaphorically (or literally) cutting themselves half the time and wishing they hadn't been born and such nonsense. It never feels real because (guess what people?) THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD IS NOT MORBIDLY DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME. When the audience sees a cast of people who feel fake to them, they disconnect and nothing can draw them back. It also doesn't help when the script is awful...
Now, something like "Star Wars" can get away with the prequels initially because the sheer quantity of fanbois and nostalgic middle-age people is so titanic they attract enough audience to make their money... of course once all is said and done, they then realized Lucas was either a hack all along or was developing senile dementia when he made the prequels. But the point is, when you're dealing with material that already had been handled poorly the first time, you have to pull out the stops, forget your 'GRAND VISION!' for your version of the film, which (in regard to these middling pseudo-genius directors) tends to toss out everything the audience already knows about the property and substitutes 'bigger and darker' for a well-conceived plot and characterization, and just GIVE THE AUDIENCE WHAT THEY WANT... just do a decent job with it, at least.
"Fantastic 4" depended heavily on the intra-character dynamics, primarily the core cast's relationships and jibes, their triumphs and turmoils. The villains were often second-fiddle in the early age, and usually quite over-the-top. Let's face it, Galactus was the most power-gamed, god-mode creation at the time... and the only way to defeat him was for Stan to create an even MORE OP McGuffin (The Ultimate Nullifier)... please, stop trying to take it seriously. Just... stop.
Doom himself was at his best when he was being clever. And one of his most interesting moments was when he'd actually taken over the world and realized he hated the job! And in that vein, the first Alba movie's Doom wasn't that bad. He had just enough of the old comic camp to work with the material given, and though his origin was completely different, the power-mongering, the competition with the super-genius Reed, and desire for control was at least intact.
This Doom just happened... and for no reason wanted to destroy the world... for reasons... which we're never shown OR told, other than in terms so generic that they felt pasted on at the last second from some bad fanfic.
Anyway, that's enough ranting. My predictions of the awfulness of the movie have been confirmed, thus proving my precognitive powers! I am about to ascend! 
(I blame the infection and antibiotics for the madness...)
I haven't seen the movie myself(nor do I plan to), but given the reviews, it's hard to imagine it could be worse. I've heard a lot of stuff about the execs forcing Trank to do a lot of stuff he didn't want to do and really messed up the movie. I also heard that Trank then showing up high and treating staff like crap though, so he messed it up just as bad of course in his anger.
3315413 I should also note that the ending was a lot like Magical Mystery Cure: They created the whole problem, managed to solve it by the skin of their teeth, and were then rewarded by getting a shiny new research facility by the government... holy shit, the ending WAS Magical Mystery Cure!
Now I hate it even more!
Speaking of the infection, how's that holding up? Good, bad, so-so?
I actually was thinking of suggesting a hiatus meet-up, but then your leg happened and now the rest of the season is coming back sooner than expected.
3315604 The leg is healing well, far faster than the doctors expected, apparently, as they're all surprised at the sheer speed of the tissue regeneration. But, the hole was huge to begin with, so it still has at least two weeks to go.
There's also the danger of re-infection or resurgence of lingering bacteria once my antibiotic regimen ends in 4 more days. You can never be sure that you've beaten MRSA until the wound is totally healed.
My immune system, as over-reactive as it is, seems quite helpless against MRSA on its own. Clearly, the toxins it produced interfere with the immune response. This is why MRSA is infecting people with even very strong immune systems now.
3315972
well. at least it's going alright so far. Hope it stays that way!
3316719 I'm thinking a meetup in October... by then the leg will either be healed or fall off...
3322023
awesome! we get to discuss the movie too!
3322379 And we can discuss why I have robot parts...
You will become one with the Herd... (ermahgerd... Charles' wound vac was contaminated with Pony Borg nanoprobes and he's been infested!)
3322701
