State of Affairs · 10:16pm May 21st, 2015
Just an update of what's been going on with me.
There are three main activities that I consider my life's essence and substance, which everything else merely revolves and, hopefully, fosters: those three things are writing, reading, and piano. Due to the peculiar nature of these passion's inability to provide sustenance, only my free time enables me to dedicate my spirit to these endeavors.
Apropos writing, I have two things in my view: The first is a proper human novel for proper human publishers, sitting at about thirty two thousand words so far; this I consider to be the primary prose, deserving of all my assiduity in attention, in passion, in deliberation. The second is a silly pony fic idea I have, a lighthearted satire, which sits at about seven hundred words right now; this I consider to be secondary and inferior, to be worked on only when fancy strikes me, when alcohol has stirred my thoughts into a tenebrous mist and prevented my grasping the lofty, or when no one is looking over my shoulder at work.
Apropos reading, it's Anna Karenina, or, as I like to call it, A Woman Spends Nine Hundred and More Pages Trying to Convince Herself that She Totally Isn't Turned On by That Man in Uniform and that She's Totally the Victim Here. Tangentially, Hester>>Anna.
Apropos piano, though I still butt heads with Rachmaninoff, and have the sentient tentacle of the Prelude in G Minor more or less subdued (though the beast still screeches beneath my weight), I now am wrestling with the Prelude in B-flat Major; although I'm convinced that I, as a humble homo sapiens sapiens, am unfit to play this, as the score indicates that it's meant to be played by some twenty-fingered monstrosity, the span of whose hand could serve as a transatlantic bridge.
Everything else, video games, jerking off on the internet, writing this blog post even, are distractions from the fear that paralyzes me when I look at these titanic tasks. It's not uncommon for me to look back at the end of the day, and see how much more productive I could have been if I were just a little more self-disciplined. And if the directly preceding sentence did not indicate to me that I ought to end this blog post, to let you—and me—get back to the tasks of import, and were I to continue any longer, may the carcass of my introspection be eviscerated and discarded, in order to let me drop all pretenses!
I wish you good luck in accomplishing these tasks of import and practicing self-discipline—the temptation to put projects off and waste time on things that take less work is one we all face.
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Hey, thanks!
Didn't think people read my blog posts . . .