You'll See its All a Show, Keep 'em Laughin as You Go · 11:00pm May 14th, 2015
Boy howdy, I’ve been pretty fucking dead lately in the Fimfiction field, haven’t I? If Internet activity was self-awareness, I’d be an American citizen complaining because I can’t bring guns to the mall in Canada. Or maybe a white guy with a confederate flag on my truck explaining that I have one black friend thus I am not a racist. Pick one.
Bam. Cussing and predictable jokes in the first paragraph. We’ve already established the tone of this blog. I'm so good at this.
So, anyway! This is your stereotypical blog that explains why I’ve been so dead lately. No blogs, no comments, no stories… You know the drill.
This blog is probably crossing the Boringland border in no time, so here’s a photo of Derpy riding a robot dinosaur that breathes fire.
Of course, it’s not like I’ve been completely inactive. A single glance at my profile might show you that I still spend an unholy amount of time in this cuntastic website. And let me fucking tell you: I do absolutely nothing in here.
I mean, if at least I checked some bally fanfic, then it’d be justified. But nah – I come here like seven times a day, look at random comments/blogs, check my notifications, then go back to doing nothing useful, internet-wise. I do this because, well, I’m a fucking idiot. I hope you don’t mind that.
This is the fire-breathing robot dinosaur riding Derpy. You can see how the dinosaur is extremely excited about it, but Derpy doesn’t seem to give a damn.
So why am I so not-here? Well, I’m afraid the explanation is a little bit boring.
Hence the use of robot dinosaurs to – wait a fucking second, this thing has a cutie mark?
Y’see, it’s almost June. And I’m a college student.
Do the math, merry little friend of mine – I don’t have finals, finals have me. I’m studying two degrees instead of one, y’see, and every-flipping-year, when this fantabulous time comes around, I wonder why the fuck did I even think of doing that.
I’m studying a lot, that’s what I mean. Does it mean that I have no time to write? Not exactly, that would be a normal, almost smart problem. No, Judas fucking Priest, no. My problems are far more stupid.
Problem is, I have too many things to write.
By the way, this is apparently a thing? What the fuck?
WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SWEARINGS, CUTIE MARK-WIELDING ROBOT DINOSAURS, THAT’S WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT, SO DON’T CHANGE THE FUCKING SUBJECT
Woah. Woah, okay. Dude, no need to yell.
I AM EXTREMELY EXCITED.
Yeeeeah, uh, you kind of are.
Yeah. I mean, I know it’s weird to complain about that? But there’s the thing – lots of work means lots of coffee. Lots of coffee means I’m kind of hyperactive lately. And… hyperactive means ideas? That doesn’t make much sense, but hey, I didn’t make the rules.
And I mean the “lots of coffee” gizmo – I believe I’m developing some kind of dependence on the fucking thing, because I’m not human until I get my daily dose of tea/coffee/coca-cola/whatever. I’m hypercaffeinated right now.
AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA TRANSFORMERS IS ALSO FROM HASBRO SO THIS IS A CROSSOVER THAT COULD HAPPEN THIS CAN BE CANON THIS IS A THING NOW DINOSAUR ROBOTS.
Okay, seriously, calm down. You’re kind of freaking me out, and –
WAIT WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A FUCKING BIRD RIGHT NEXT TO THEM.
Um.
I CAN’T ALLOW IT I WON’T ALLOW IT THE BIRD IS NOT PART OF THE THEME IT’S RUINING IT.
Okay, this is the point where I ask you what the fuck are you drinking from that mug.
That wouldn’t be a problem if I had any kind of self-control, but sadly, I don’t. So every fucking day I’ll start a new story that I plan on ending, but then I’ll get stuck because holy shit I’m mentally exhausted, and then I’ll go to sleep.
The next day, I’ll start a new one. Rinse and repeat.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAJHAJHAJHAJH YES YES YES KILL IT KILL IT IT DOESN’T BELONG THE FUCKING BIRD DOESN’T BELONG COCKA-DOODLE-DO MOTHERFUCKER
Holy shit.
Does that mean I’m never gonna finish those stories? Nah. I like the concepts too much. But right now I have about five stories in the works (one of them is being rewritten, as I actually managed to finish it in one go, but then I thought of a way to make it better so there I went), and… Yeah.
So it’s like, I’m working too much? No idea. I’m still writing, at least, and I think that’s good. So it’ll take me a while, but in no time you should get, like, five stories or so almost at once, which –
NO NO NO FUCK NO FUCK NO THIS ISN’T RIGHT WHO BROUGHT THAT THAT DOESN’T BELONG EITHER IT’S A SHITTY OVERUSED CROSSOVER WE CAN’T HAVE THAT HERE.
Oh, shit. OH, SHIT – DUDE!
AHJAHJAJHAKHJAKJHAKJHAJHAJKHAKHAKJHAKJHAKJHAKHAJKHAKJ
OH MY GOD HE’S HAVING SOME KIND OF ATTACK
What the fuck. What is going on in there?
BLAAARBLGABHRALBARHALBGAHLRBAKHLBGHABL
I DON’T KNOW, HE WAS DRINKING SOMETHING AND THEN HE STARTED LAUGHING AND THEN HE FELL! I THINK HE’S HAVING AN OVERDOSE OR SOMETHING
Uh. Who the fuck are you?
WHO THE SHIT CARES I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOU BUT NOW I’M A TALKING WIKIPEDIA PAGE OR WHATEVER DOESN'T MATTER HELP THIS ASSHOLE
AHAAHABHFABJAHJFBAJHBAJHBFJAHBJHABFJHABFJAHBFHJ
…Okay. I, uh. I don’t get this. Is that, like, part of my subconscious or…?
I THINK WE’RE LOSING HIM
IIII CAAAAAAN SEEEEEEE FOOOOREEEEEEVEEEEER
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
You know? in moments like this, I kind of get why my father hates me.
The sad thing is that this was going to be a perfectly normal blog, but then I discovered the robot dinosaur had a cutie mark and I lost control.
I am extremely tired, apparently.
3069810 Understandably so. I mean first it shoots fire and then it has a goddamn cutie mark? Shit will go crazy.
Luck in the studying and coffee addiction. And give me more stuff to edit damnit.
There are times where you manage to raise your own bar (or lower, whatever definition one uses) beyond any human expectations. There are also times where I understand your father.
3069810 But... I'm pretty sure this is more or less a perfectly normal blog for you.
You need more beer boyo.
3069810 Then logically you should rest.
I imagine this is what a blog written by Deadpool would look like.
The amount of time it must have taken to write that blog worries me.
3069810 It's a green dragon with a cutie mark! It's a pony dragon! Maybe it was a dragon raised by ponies! Maybe it's the adopted son of Spike and Rarity that they secretly stole from a nest during the dragon migration! Maybe Garble is it's real dad! Maybe I should also be asleep right now! Why can't I stop shouting?! Is that Michael Jackson riding a Dragon/Hippo while singing about yellow submarines!? Onwards aoshi--blarg.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131111212808/mlp/images/8/81/FANMADE_Twilight_facedesk.gif
I regret nothing!
See, everypony tones down their cutie mark stories for the young foals. The real way to get a cutie mark is to find a dinosaur with the cutie mark you want and kill it in mono-el-pony combat to claim the mark for your own. Which is why we never see Spike talking about wanting a cutie mark. The moment he gets his, he'll probably be hunted by ponies who want to be librarians. Because, come on, he's going to get a book or organization cutie mark given his life.
Green robot dinosaur and Derpy can be friends because she's already got a cutie mark and she got it from the green robot dinosaur's worst enemy.
Oh, that's also why Twist doesn't talk to Apple Bloom anymore. The first few days after getting the cutie mark she was traumatized by killing something with her bare hooves and couldn't look her friends in the eyes because she thought she was a monster. By the time Twist recovered, Apple Bloom had moved on to new friends.
Oh, and good luck with the studying. We will just have to enjoy the stories you have already written.
I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when a new Aragon blog popped up on my feed. I thought I was prepared for anything.
I was not.
Still though, good luck with finals and all that stuff, and I look forward to seeing some or all of these incredible caffeine-fueled stories sometime in the future!
Aragon,
How I ADORE your blog posts!
Being one who is prone to random bouts of shouting excessive expletives, I saw this blog post and thought there's a person after my own fucking heart.
I feel your pain regarding finals...well...actually I'm only a part time uni student who is nearing the end of her first level one module...so maybe I don't quite feel as much pain as you, maybe just a slight tickle in the depths of my chest, but I have an important essay to finish and the deadline is 6 days away, I also have two children and a dickhead for a husband, so yes... extremely caffeinated, tired and stressed to the hilt.
Be well
*Wanders off to find My Little Pony figures and robot dinosaurs*
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Not going to lie -- every time I write a blog, I dedicate a couple seconds to wonder about the idea of it perhaps being "weird". After posting, I always try to guess how many people is going to unfollow me because of that (nobody as of lately, but there was a time where every new blog meant two followers going away on average -- I think I weeded out the weak ones).
I've set myself such a particular standard that I fear one day I'll try to make a blog weirder on purpose so it fits the tone. Thankfully, that day is still far away.
And, as I said, seeing how some people took the effort to go and follow me, the least I can do is offer them some bullshit like this blog, so at least they can go "what the flackle was that" once in a while. I legimitately find this kind of blog funny!
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Fucking hell. Essays and children? That beats my stress without trouble, I think. I've been a babysitter for long periods of time, and I can't even start to imagine dealing with that 24/7 and worrying about essays. Jesus Christ.
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The moment I finish one story I'll go crying at you guys to fix it, don't worry. It'll just take a little while.
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That... That is actually a hilarious theory. Kudos for that!
You know that variety act, the one where there are a number of sticks and each fucking stick has a spinning china plate on it and there is a man or a woman madly rushing from one stick to another trying to keep the fucking plates spinning or they will fall to the ground and smash into a million fucking pieces?
That's kinda how my life is but I'm getting better at it, I haven't let any plates smash in a while...although some are teetering.
And essays and children...I'm a somewhat...mature student...in years only in my head I'm very immature!
3071254 I'm gonna hold you to that, you and Numbers too...I need to go harrass him some more.
You know those spinning plates that were teetering..they're about to hit floor...*SMASH, CRASH, SMASH, CRASH*...oops