• Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 29th, 2017

CLAVDIVS CAESAR


More Blog Posts18

  • 471 weeks
    On prying out nails

    I'll start by repeating the edit I made at the end of my previous post:

    I've already been made aware in comments that the article I linked to is supposedly a fake. I only say "supposedly" because I have no desire to go digging into it and determine if the claim is correct.

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    12 comments · 888 views
  • 471 weeks
    On nails, coffins, and finality

    A friend of mine posted this link to Facebook a few days ago. Fair warning, it's got some unpleasant stuff, including an account of what was almost certainly an attempt at sexual exploitation or assault of a young girl.

    Read More

    22 comments · 738 views
  • 547 weeks
    "Equoid" by Charles Stross

    Having used a pastiche of his fictional "Laundry" agency in Kraken, I feel obligated to point out that Charles Stross recently put up a new story in the series online, titled "Equoid".

    It's about unicorns... sort of.

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    13 comments · 1,081 views
  • 554 weeks
    Ponies for Pathfinder kickstarter

    I only found out about this fairly late in the game, but the makers of a pony race supplement for Pathfinder are running a kickstarter for a new deluxe edition. The original was pretty minimalist, with little to

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    1 comments · 684 views
  • 555 weeks
    I'm not dead!

    Holy crap. I just finished chapter 10 of Kraken.

    Take a moment to reattach your jaws, if you need to.

    Read More

    7 comments · 681 views
Mar
17th
2015

On prying out nails · 2:21am Mar 17th, 2015

I'll start by repeating the edit I made at the end of my previous post:

I've already been made aware in comments that the article I linked to is supposedly a fake. I only say "supposedly" because I have no desire to go digging into it and determine if the claim is correct.

Furthermore, I've concluded that it's entirely possible for this whole thing to just be my depression spiking for some reason and the article was just something to latch onto. And for the people telling me to get help, I already am. I've been on Buspar and Prozac for some time now, and they've both been helping a lot.

Something depression can do, aside from sapping your drive to do basically anything, is drown out the good in things while highlighting the bad. Something friends can do, however, is reverse that. I think my previous post was an example of the former, and the comments on it the latter.

I'd like to thank all of you for your words of support, and showing me the positive side of the brony community again.

I don't know why my depression suddenly spiked so badly these past few days. Usually I can think of something that set me off, but now I wonder if what I thought was the trigger in the past was really just the first thing I reacted badly to while under its spell. I don't know, but maybe it's something I should bring up at my next appointment.

As for my stories, Like Twilight in Kraken, I'm not about to make promises I don't know I can keep. I want to finish Kraken, and follow up on Derpy Day and Dinky Debates, and write the other stories I have in my head, but I don't know when or even if I'll be able to. I don't know if I'm too drained to focus my creative efforts, if I've been out of the game too long for jumping back in to be as easy as before, or if I've just lost the pony muse for good. I guess only time will tell.

tl,dr; you all rock and thank you putting up with my emo bullshit. :pinkiesad2:

Report CLAVDIVS CAESAR · 888 views ·
Comments ( 12 )

You're a sweetie pie :raritywink:

Never a problem; never at all. I always have time for my friends, and whatever choice you make, I just want you to be happy in it.

Good luck, man. I hope you get to feeling better, regardless of what you choose to do.

I don't experience depression, but I have experienced the guilt of quitting a fandom and leaving unfinished work behind. To lessen that guilt a little (frankly, I still feel guilty about it), I left an outline of the story I didn't finish (120,000+ words at that!) on my user page. So, if anyone wanted to know what I had in mind, they could read that. A poor substitute, but at least it gave some sort of closure.

Not sure if this suggestion helps you or not but thought I'd share it. Hope things work out for you!

Again, my good sir, I too use to suffer from depression (aka major depression aka clinical depression) . Focusing on the negative and not seeing the good is a classic symptom. It is great that you know that you have this disease (and it IS a disease) and are seeking help. Prozac, for all the jokes TV and movies make about it, does indeed work (that's what I used to be on as the other one didn't exist when I was on medication way back in the mid-90s). I do remember some days it would 'spike' and then other days it would just feel gone.... ebbing and flowing like the tides. It is normal and so long as you continue to take your meds regularly it will help to even you out. Hopefully like me, you won't have to be on these meds for the rest of your days.

Anyways, you just take a bit of a break if you need it, see if just doing something else for a while helps to cheer ya up. When I used to be depressed, instead of playing videogames by myself, I would invite friends over or go over to play tag football or whatever with them. Sometimes I'd go fishing, or even hunting (when it was the right season, of course). So just get out and do different things till you find that thing that makes ya grin and it will help you with all the other things. :D

2884540
:twilightoops:
Dude, it was just a joke. Self-deprecating humor is a coping mechanism.

It happens, dude. Don't worry too much about it. :)

If it helps, based on my (admittedly limited) experience at conventions, the situation described just seems extraordinarily unlikely. Most folks at conventions are generally nice and helpful, and convention staff tend to watch out for precisely that sort of thing.

More relevantly to this post, the spike in depression, from my own experience, the transition between seasons, especially into spring and autumn frequently sees an in depressive moods for me. I don't really know why, and they don't usually last more than a week or so, but it's fairly consistent. Perhaps that might be the problem? Then again, perhaps not. :twilightoops:

Huzzah! Glad we could help. :twilightsmile:

I want to finish Kraken,

:heart:

It is one of the few horror stories that did not sink into campy gore or morbid angst that I enjoyed reading.
I would certainly love to see it continued, but please do not stress over it..

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