The support means the world to me, and thanks to your kind contributions I was able to go and visit my boy in Britain. I'll try and mock up a proper recap blog—though I am notoriously terrible at doing those, I don't think I've ever managed a proper recap blog for any of the various conventions I've gone to over the years. I guess there wasOther People's Lives · 10:57pm Jan 26th, 2015
I'm gonna be frank with you all, I really don't like making these kinds of blog posts. I really wish I didn't have to, but due to some interactions that consistently happen juxtaposed with how I feel about myself a lot of the time, I feel like I have to, if only to get some piece of mind from myself.
Some of you might not be well versed on Fimfiction history, either from lack of caring or from being new or whatever, but I rose to popularity here on the site in the fall on 2012, when I was 14 and (just barely) 15 years old. Unless you're blessed to live in some sort of fantasy realm, children of that age are not known for being exceptionally mature. And I wasn't. I posted a lot around the site, on pretty much every story, and I made a name for myself with my fascination for the band Nirvana. And I got popular. I remember getting something like 26 followers in one day, on a day when I hadn't posted any stories for a while.
On that subject, people weren't really there for the stories. I wrote and posted stuff, but the majority of people wanted to follow my "crazy antics" (and I know some of you guys are still around). I didn't mind it at the time, but over time, it would prove to be something that would grate on me. I really wish I had been known for something else.
I say this because a lot of people still see me as that 14 year old boy with too much free time. In 2013 (at age 15, predominantly) I wrote a lot of absurd comedy stories that left a lot of people with a sour taste in there mouth. So, after a while of doing that, I decided I wanted to be known for writing quality stories. And that's when I switched off to writing more serious stories, as the last year held. I did it even though writing those crapfics are fun for me. I love writing them. Writing serious stories with more heft in not that fun for me, but I do it anyway because I want to at least be something reputable to people. And people like them; my ten highest rated stories are almost all rated for "Everyone" and have 300-500 likes.
And still many people think I only write crapfics.
This distresses me for many reasons, but the most prevalent of them is that when I have the privilege of being with people whom I look up to, say on skype, or in comment sections, or on threads, a lot of these people... don't like me. A lot of people who are in the fimfic "upper class", so to speak, look down on me. They talk down to me, and in general, they don't consider me a person who they want to be around.
I want to be around them, so I try to be friendly. I do have an odd, often callous sense of humor, but I try and make sure it doesn't get in the way of things. Unfortunately... I guess it does, because I don't make a good impression on a lot of folks in these groups that I aspire to be a part of. There are certain subcultures of fimfiction that are more desirable than others, and I'm trying to become a part of them. The ones that actually want me around I can't stand, because they're full of people who remind me of who I was and who I am trying to get away from.
And it's not always for fimfiction related things. Sometimes when I do something as innocuous as discuss my music taste, I get kicked to the curb. I'm passionate about music; I want to create it, and I want to talk about it. Unfortunately for me, music communities online are very vitriolic and memey (/mu/, and any subreddit), or only enjoy very entry level things, and don't foster an environment of looking for new music for the fear of being "hipster". So I try and find people who like music like I do, and try to talk to them about it, but from experience, it's only an annoyance to people and makes me out to be a burden on them with boring conversation.
I suppose it could be a carried over stigma on who I am, but I don't know anymore.
I am often told that I would fare better if I started up a new account. The truth of the matter is that I don't want to do that because I need to accept who I am in relation to fimfiction. I shouldn't just abandon everything because of things I did in the past; running away from issues usually doesn't help, unless that issue is a serial killer or a tsunami.
That Regidar happened, but that doesn't mean he's the same Regidar who struggles to write stories that he hopes people will consider noteworthy. That Regidar is long gone, and now I'm trying to be someone who can be a productive member of this community, and who can be considered to be someone of actual worth.
But you have to let me in.
If you remember me or think of me as that person, I need you to let go of that. I am not them anymore. If for whatever reason you still see me as that person, and want me to be that person, then you're out of luck. I haven't been that person in ages.
And I promise, I will try and be good to you back.
I like you, mate. And I don't mind your musical taste. Despite bad things that have happened I consider you a friend. I hope that means something.
Dude, no matter what Regidar you are, you'll always be a cool motherfucker in my eyes.
It's just showing how much you've matured over the years, and that's fucking awesome, dude.
I'm still amazed about how you're younger than me, actually.
I'll always wanna stick around you, dude. It doesn't matter what you do or don't, because I know that you'll be you. I know you'll make a very Regidar choice, and that choice is usually a great one, especially as of recent.
We're here for you, buddy. Let's talk for a while.
You actually introduced me to Nirvana, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you so fucking much. I'm not even kidding. I still listen to Nirvana almost every day and I never get tired of it. They're the only group other than Led Zeppelin that I have that much reverential respect for. Despite your early rise to fame with all the crazy antics and whatever, you still had a positive effect on other people back then. I'm sure I'm not the only one. So don't discount your wild days, my friend.
That being said, anybody out there who still thinks Regi writes crapfics, just read He Gave Her A Rose. Or anything Regi wrote in the last year, for that matter.
We don't chat as much as I'd like - my own fault - but I respect you greatly. Maybe it's because I didn't know you before 2014, or because I've only read stories of yours with depth and meaning, but I can tell there's a lot more to you than jokes and alternative music. To me, you are someone of actual worth, and more than that. Just keep being yourself, and the rest of the world - or at least, the part of it that matters - will come around eventually.
Honestly if you think you wrote crapfics, just look at some of my old stuff and you'll feel better about yourself.
or any of my stuff for that matter...
I'm 17 myself and you are one of my go to guys for stories that make me laugh or get a little inspiration. I like a lot of genres of music and yours is fine with me. Love ya bro!
I never minded you man, you're what I wanna be actually. You're a bit off but amazing at the same time, all while balancing your story writing on a silver plate and dancing on a monkey. You're truly unique and I respect you for that.
I am no upper class by any mean, but I don't look down to you, I never would.
I've told you once before, you are cool in my book, not because of what you use to do or write, but because I genuinely think you're a swell guy, Regi.
Hmmm...
Now that I think about it, I never see you and bleedin on the FiMFic threads on /mlp/ at the same time...
jk, I stil love you, Regi.
Honestly, I can't really help with any of the other things on this site (save to say that I still find Take It Back fantastically good, and not the work of a "crapfic" or "mediocre" author), but if you ever want to discuss music, I'm your man Regi. We share a lot of the same taste there, I think.
For what it's worth, I didn't follow you "back then". I follow you now, because it's clear to see that you have grown, not only as an author, but as a person. Keep your spirits up!
I've never been too comfortable with big inspiring speeches, but even though we haven't spoken in a while I still think you're a pretty good/cool person overall. You've definitely changed from what I remember you as from a few years ago, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
I can definitely sympathize with you over being known for being weird and crazy and wanting to be known for more. I'm pretty sure everyone who knows anything of me has written me off as a weirdly literate dunce. I don't have much advice that would be useful in trying to get past your old mistakes or reputation, but time seems to help in that regard.
Have you heard of a band known as Ween? I am a huge fan of them.
Swag. I'm here if you need the ear of an oldfag that won't look down on you for being a youngfag.
Man, I pegged you as being like, 22. And I mean that as a compliment; I love your more realistic/mature (I mean SFW mature) stories
Bruhbby, ur awsum in anything you decide to pursue.
… Why, though?
I’m not playing Devil’s Advocate here; I’m genuinely wondering why you want to accept what other people think of you, especially when what they think of you is incorrect. I don’t see how this could be a good thing, ever. It would be completely detrimental to your self-esteem and your own vision of your character.
Part of learning to be self-confident and have self-esteem (and I speak from a lot of experience here) is realizing that what other people think of you has no impact on who you are or what you should think of yourself. So some people think that you’re maybe one level above a troll; you really want to accept that as part of who you are in relation to Fimfiction?
Personally, I think you have two possible solutions:
1) Stop caring about what other people think of you. If they want to skip over your stories or refuse to talk to you, fine. If they want to think you’re a mere troll who can string a sentence together, fine. You let them think what they think and realize that it doesn’t matter. It only matters if you let their opinion of you influence how you feel about yourself.
You can’t control how they feel no matter how hard you try. So you could make peace with the fact that there are some who will never give you a chance, or those who don’t like you, or who used to like you but don’t for whatever reason. I know that all fucking hurts regardless if it’s online or IRL. I’m saying this as someone who lost my very best friend in this world for reasons I will never understand. But I have to accept that; I have to let it go. Because if I can’t, and you can’t, that leaves the other option…
2) Make a new account. Tabula rasa. Develop whatever persona (or lack thereof) on Regidar 2.0 (though I would advise making it more inconspicuous than that :P ) and post your stories there. Lots of people do it, and I don’t see a problem with it. As long as you don’t abuse the vote system this way, the mods don’t care. All it takes is an alternate email address and a good new username.
Maybe posting under another name will get you more of the attention you seek. Maybe it won’t. That really shouldn’t matter. The point here is that if you really feel so disconnected from your old ways and your account and can’t stomach being known as Regidar anymore, then don’t be Regidar anymore. There’s no harm or shame in leaving an old way of life, or an old way of being, behind. Sometimes it is more powerful to know when to quit. The best poker players in the world have mastered the art of folding, which is far more difficult than any other move in the game.
People leave everything behind and start over all the time in real life. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t, but at least they tried. And it’s a more powerful option than people realize; if someone is suicidal and nothing seems to be helping them (not talking about you specifically, just people in general), then they should do this. Go somewhere new where no one knows you and rebuild yourself in peace. Right now you have over 1800 people who have their preconceived notions of you. If you start over, you will have none.
You might think that if you start a new account that you’ll lose who you are. But we’re all hiding behind avatars on here, including me. Very few people know who I really am, and that’s alright. I choose to share some things with others that I don’t with the rest of Fimfic. Many authors have alts; Skirts is one of the few who is public about them.
In the big scheme of things, eventually, we will all move on from this website for one reason or another. Most of us will never meet each other in real life, see each other’s faces, or hear each other’s voices. There’s a kind of beauty in that, but it comes with a price. The nameless accusers have the sharpest tongues, it seems, and being a nobody taunted by other nobodies can definitely hurt. So I don’t see any harm in doing whatever you need to feel better about yourself.
Do what is right for you, Regi. Fuck what everyone else says, including me. If you want to start over as Regi 2.0, do it. If you want to tell your haters to fuck off and go jump in a lake, do it. If you want to ignore them and keep doing your thing, do it. And if you want to let them get to you and have the invisible influence of a few self-righteous, pompous individuals who treat their own ideal of pony fanfic like it’s Shakespeare and Hemingway butt-fucking new life into the world, then do it, too.
Only you will live with your choices, and only you will feel your feelings. The question is what choices you want to make, and what feelings you want to feel.
Whatever decision you make, I will support you, because I know you’re not anything they say you are. You are a good person—wounded, but good. You have talent. You have potential. The world is your fucking oyster if you have the balls to put your hands in the sand and dig deep. But you can’t do if you’re worried about the people watching over your shoulder. Fear is the enemy, and fear over things we cannot control will destroy you. I speak from experience.
Don’t let fear delay what you want to do like it has for me; I’m fighting it now, every step of the way, as I carve my way towards doing what the fuck I really want to do in life. Listening to what others thought of me and my choices is why I am where I am instead of what I want to be. I wish I would have learned what I am writing to you years ago; things would be quite different now if I did.
Think everything over, and know you have my support no matter what.
Also:
No.
If there's no fun in it, don't do it.
This isn't a job where you need to drag your ass in 40 hours a week if you want to eat and keep gas in the car. This is a hobby. The moment your hobby stops being fun, you have lost.
2749584 I don't want to write those things because i feel unhappy after I've done them. It's fun to write them, but it sucks to look at them, and vice versa with serious stuff.
2749569 The problem with option number two is I HAVE done it. TWICE. No one cares about the newbies unless they're outstanding or unless they're panderers. And since I'm neither one, the most amount of likes I've gotten on an alt account story is 19.
I know that attention plays a heavy part in this, and I really do like how so many people have stuck with me. The reason why I want to accept who I was and then move on is because that shows that I CAN take the steps forward that are needed to become a better person. I'm taking responsibility for who I was, acknowledging him, and then leaving him behind.
And I can't stop caring about what other people think. It's not that simple. If I didn't care what other people thought, I wouldn't be here. And if I stopped caring, I wouldn't stay here. But I do care and I want to use the awareness I possess to try and make something of myself.
Even if it is just on a my little pony fanfiction site.
First off, these people you wanna get along with, the "upper" class... these aren't exactly reliable people. If these people don't like you, fuck 'em, try not to lose sleep over it. Trying to fit in with a group of fuckheads who don't like you will only hurt you, so stop that nonsense. Second, you need to come to terms with who you are. You may be older and wiser than you once were, but you're not out of the forest yet. Don't trick yourself into thinking you're not a kid still, because you are, and that's fine. I've seen old fucks (30 or older) on this site who are more childish and useless than you at your worst, so you're not a bad person.
You're quirky as fuck, nigga, and might have a screw or two loose, but you're like a brother I never get to see.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaaaaaaaaaaaa
>modest mouse
Your taste in musak is shit regidar.
2749617 ebin memes
2749480
2749601
... That's still an issue. You should be proud of your work, or at least happy that you accomplished the act of writing it. If you aren't, we have a problem...
Well, *I* think you're outstanding, for the record.
But correct me if I'm wrong... Are you basically stating that you would rather not start over and get a little peace because you won't get as much attention? You can't have both. 
I mean, I try to be a nice person (even though I fail at that at times :P) and I consider myself a good writer, yet there are people who don't like me/have me blocked/think I'm Satan's lesbian lover. My stats mean that I will get far more attention than I will peace, as do yours. If I decide I value the latter rather than the former, I'll either leave again or start over on a different account (or both). That's the situation you're in now. So I guess it comes down to whether you want peace or attention more.
Though I would argue you could definitely get some attention from your serious writing on another account. Everyone starts with nothing, and not everyone who has a ton of followers is a panderer. I could argue that point with you for days.
That won't change the minds of your detractors. If your reasoning for this is "These people think I'm a troll and I want to prove that I'm not anymore," you're never going to be satisfied.
Again, you can't control what people feel or think, no matter how nice or giving or mature or beautiful or responsible or fun you are.
As for the rest, we don't really need to dwell on stupid things we say/did when we were 14. By being different people than we were then, we have already done that. We don't need to dwell on it and say "Yeah, that was who I really was," because it wasn't, was it?
I know it's not that simple. I've struggled with this kind of thing for years and am still struggling. I came back because I wanted to hang with my friends on here and get feedback for my writing, so I care in that sense, but I don't care enough to be sending apology messages to everyone I've pissed off or something like that. (I'm not saying you are doing that or should do that; just an example),
You can be here without caring what people think of you on a non-constructive level. "You overuse commas" is something you should pay attention to, evaluate, and incorporate; "you're an insufferable troll" is a pile of vomit on the floor you don't need to clean up. The difference is knowing when to care and knowing when not to. There's also a block button for a reason.
As for making a name for yourself... I'll be honest. I used to think that way and have a chip on my shoulder, but you know what? With very few exceptions, no one here is known outside this little community, and unless you branch into original fiction writing or make a lot of money from Patreon/commissions/Tip Jars, there isn't much you'll get out of it in the real world.
I'm not saying that Fimfic is a bad place because it doesn't (usually) translate to anything tangible. Lots of hobbies don't, but that doesn't mean they're worthless. And I would rather read and write stories on here so I can become a better author instead of using my free time to watch Netflix or play video games. It's a little more constructive use of my time, but in the end, it's free time. Work, family, and friends all come before this place.
I found the height of my Fimfic "addiction" was when I felt that my real life wasn't that meaningful or good. I kind went through the motions there and poured all my soul onto here. Obviously that was a bad idea.
Balance in life is important, whether your hobby is Fimfic, video games, sports, art, etc. At n point should a hobby hold so much control and pain in your life. If it is, you should take a step back and reconsider some things, IMO.
2749646
Why am I not following you?
2749646 I can say I had fun writing a crapfic, but would I say I'm proud? No, I wouldn't. I want to focus on things that can be tied to my name with a sense of security and happiness that make me feel like I have a chance in the real world (since this is only the training grounds).
I don't know. I'm delusional. It gets to my head. Whatever.
The only reason I care so god damn much about having both image and popularity here is that I am afforded neither in the real world. My whole life I had people telling me my art was terrible, or making fun of me for it, or doing all manner of bullshit to me. I didn't like it. I don't like it. And when I came here and actually had people paying something that could be related to positive attention, I was ecstatic. And now it's all I have that imitates happy emotions.
I know I've got issues. I know it's stupid and it's living in a fantasy world but people use ponies for escapism all the time, so why can't I?
i.imgur.com/k56SOZs.jpg
"but muh wordcount"
quantity =/= quality
95% of "upper class" authors couldn't even get published if they tried
lots of them just keep whoring themselves out with horse porn and forgettable feel good bites for views and gloating about how they have all these followers for writing fanservice and not something meaningful
it's often feel it's the minority that writes what they feel but even then it's Fimfiction don't get on a fucking high horse everyone is just here to have a good time
2749673 "upper class" implies the people who actually write well and are known for it
2749635 Thats my third favorite track from that album.
2749675 So not just popular people but people who write good quality stuff?
Hey, I'll always talk music with you, even if I've never heard half the shit you listen to. :B
2749661
2749664
There are real, published, on-Amazon authors on here who barely have the tenth of the following you do (Viking XZ comes to mind). So success on Fimfiction =/= real-world publishing success.
If you want to use your follower base to drum up support for an original fiction novel you publish on Amazon, by all means, go ahead. But please don’t keep charging forward with the idea that it’s all for something tangible in the real world. That’s an easy way to burn yourself out or at least become very frustrated.
That’s the same thing that got me into trouble. You see, I’ve stuck around in my little town all my life because I’ve been afraid of leaving people behind—not because I would miss them, but because they would miss me. I want to do all manner of crazy things, become a jack of all trades, see the world, make some mistakes, etc., but I haven’t let myself do that because the opinions and doubts of others were louder than my own inner voice.
So since I’ve graduated high school, I’ve only had one real “adult” job, which pays me enough to keep me satiated but is ultimately going to go nowhere. It’s good work, but it’s not me, and I found msyself leaving the office every day racing for my car so I could go home and do something a little more “me”. So what did I turn to when all this shit started happening years ago?
The Internet, first through /b/ and other forums and then, eventually, to ponies, and to this site. Getting all kinds of positive feedback and attention and fans was stronger than any drug I’ve tried, and it took me nearly two years of being on the site to realize that was a bad thing.
I can completely relate, and as such, I also know that the only way out of this cycle is hard work on yourself. Therapy. Tears. Lots and lots of tears. Facing your fears, your demons, your inner image of yourself. Fixing the mechanism in your head that makes seeking validation so addictive, so vital, so necessary to your self-worth and esteem. Because when I tore all those layers away, I found I had nothing left.
I’ve been in therapy for nearly five months now, and it’s rough. It’s fucking rough, but I am so much better, even if I still have a ways to go. It’s a process. It’s painful. It’s like tattooing over scarred flesh, only the artist can only do a line at a time before dragging you in next week to do it again.
I’m back here now to have fun because I like some of the people here and I like writing stories still. If either of those things change, I’ll be gone, others’ feelings be damned. Because in the end, I’m the one putting in my time, and that’s all that matters. And the same goes for you. If you’re not happy, if this stuff is eating you up, can you at least consider another perspective? I say this because I do care about you, even if it doesn’t sound that way.
You can if you want. It is your life, your choices, your feelings. We all have infinite avenues of escape available to us. We all have the choice to take them or not. We all can make that choice either way at any time.
Personally, I don’t think you should dive into this place to ignore your life, especially since you are so young, and because I’ve done the same thing and know the futility in it. Packing your shit and leaving may seem like running away to some, but is living vicariously through this website any different? If so, why? If not, why is one a better choice than the other?
Just something to think about.
I've always taken you seriously, bruh. You keep on trudging along, I ain't goin' anywhere.
(Also I really don't want to be "that guy" but...)
You know, I created a saying that I am totally going to copyright one day (not really) that I think fits this situation well:
I am what I am, and I change the things I can, but if you don't like how I stand, then that's, like, your opinion, man.
Keep on chugging down the road you want to pave in whichever path you choose, but I would advise you listen to Bad_Seed here. Sometimes starting from a clean slate, digging your nose to the grindstone, and sculpting yourself a new persona in the way you want to be viewed may be the best decision. There is most certainly nothing wrong with ditching the past for a new future, and it is definitely not giving up or giving in.
But you do you, my friend. Do what you feel is best, and since I believe in you and all the things you do, I know that you'll succeed. In my eyes, you always do.
2749689 yes
the actual upper class
2749696 you are never on skype though
2749710 I know.
I know.
I'm going to fully embrace option 1.
2749769 Oh
well then I don't have much to say
there are authors I like that range from extremely good to extremely terrible and there are authors I don't like that are extremely good
Like outside of Fimfic I can't stand Tolkien, which people get very mad at me for
But I think if people honestly can't see that you've been writing good quality stories with only the occasional silly fic then they're just being obtuse
I also think it's important that you don't start a new account
Well I guess since I'm sorta new I wouldn't know much about who you were in the past
well sort of. I read a couple of your crapfics and I never really liked any of them, until once I read one of you not crapfics, and it was pretty good.
I don't really know you, but the way I've seen you grow has been pretty amazing
and I don't know what music you listen to, but I probably listen to them too
Well, you've got it rough man. For the last three years, I've thought of you as an extremely close friend of mine and generally an amazing writer. I know you can't just let away what you've done in the past, but you shouldn't really focus on it. Try concentrating on what you have right now. If you want people to recognize you as a stable writer and not as a 'lelele i'm a trell', you're showing it pretty well by posting this blog. Surely, there are people who still believe you're that kind of person, which frankly you are, but you've changed at least. We've all done such, right? Right after I've read this thing, I realized that I too have been doing the same thing all of these years; which honestly, I've thought of changing it, but after noticing that people are entertained by being just being a 'faggot' I find myself forced into it. But oh well, this isn't about me it's about ya. I'm pretty sure you're capable enough of setting this new image upon yourself, it's all up to you, and I wholeheartedly support you along with it. If nothing you do works, though, it isn't /your/ fault, it's the people surrounding you that you can blame it on. If you want yourself to be viewed by a new image, you just need the right people for it.
Let's hope that it'll eventually get better, though.
Oddly enough, what you have going on mirrors some of what I've been going through with Twilight's Library. All the old associations with the group and name don't really jive with where I want to go with it next. I know what I'm doing next on that, though. I'm just holding off announcing it until I'm ready.
I can appreciate how difficult changing your image can be. I had noticed that your writing was getting more serious, and that you weren't posting as many crazy things any more. If I haven't favorited a number of the more recent ones, it says more about how low my fanfiction reading's been for a bit than anything.
It is possible to build your popularity back up with an alt, but it'd take a substantial amount of time, and it's difficult not to have people figure out the connection. Still, I do have an alt that's pretty popular, so it can be done...
Keep in mind that the user base of the site is constantly changing. New people become popular and older ones leave. gradually, people will start knowing the new you more than the old you. It just takes time.
Also, you can have both serious and silly sections in the same fanfic, though you have to be careful to pull it off properly. I do it regularly on one of my fanfics, though.
--arcum42
2750145 I try my best, and all I can hope for is that people accept that.
2749769
These days, I'm on from 9-10 PM EST. Sometimes as early as 8. :/ Don't get a job, jobs suck.
I've "quit" the site three times.
I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be known for the stories that I wrote. Hell, the first story I had on here had over fifty comments by the end. I thought that was something great. I came to Fimfiction to read stories and write my own. But along the way, I found something much better than likes or favorites or watches.
I found friends.
You were my first friend on the site, Regi. I'm not sure if you were remember that, but you were the first person I followed on here. Look through your PMs from the end of November to December in 2012. Not only did introduce me to Nirvana, you introduced me to Austraeoh, My Chemical Romance, and got me to write my first story on the site.
I can't put into words how much you've done for me on this site. You know I'm always willing to talk on Skype, man. Feel free to ask me whatever.
I didn't realize you were that young when you started writing, and I think that's pretty impressive. Your fics are really good, and a couple of them were some of the first pony fics I had ever read.
Well, if you come to The Everfree Northwest con...
2750559 b-but I don't want to starve
2750762 Cons are always really problematic for me because I live in Hawaii, and it takes thousands of dollars to get to the mainland by plane
I really wish I could go to Everfree, but I don't have nearly enough money
2750694
2751128 I'm flying there from Europe. Hawaii sounds like a cool place, even though it's expensive there, and expensive to leave it. Which island are you on?
2751151 Maui. Not much going on here, it's basically like one, large town.
I'm going to BABScon this year, though, so I think that's going to basically dry the reserves.
I can work out lodging and stuff
but the tickets kill me
2751174 I wanted to go to BABS because San Francisco is awesome--the bay area in general is great. But those dates just don't work for me. There's always next year.
As someone who started as a newbie and had an on again, off again relation with my efforts on the site (seriously, I've been around for 3+ years, and I have only 4 stories to my credit? Most people would see that as a mark of shame
), I cannot overstate how important maintaining your own emotional stability and physical well-being is. After all, your physical behavior influences your emotional state: do something that upsets yourself, and you will feel sad. Also, your emotional state influences your physical behavior: if you feel sad, you will likely cry or find some other way to express your sadness. We often try to separate both sides of our existence, when both of these sides are connected and influence each other.
As for what you are going through now, keep your spirits high, and make sure you get the physical care that you need in order to survive and thrive. The more you try to change another person's negative opinion of yourself, the more that negative opinion affects your mood, because you see it. Sure, you might gloss over or forget it, but it's still somewhere in the back of your mind. It takes a lot of emotional maturity to be able to deal with the kind of scenario you are going through, because it isn't easy to admit that someone's negative opinion of you depressed your own spirits. We want to see ourselves as strong and capable, and feeling negative about other people's negative attitudes towards you cripples that desire.
Recognize your own emotional state, and acknowledge where the sources of stress or negativity are coming from. The moment you start feeling bad and don't know why is the moment you should stop and think over your recent actions. If the source is coming from someone else's actions, do something yourself to cheer yourself up a little. If the source is coming from yourself as a result of thinking about something stressful or negative, take a break and let the emotion drain away. Find your coping mechanisms and use them as best you can.
Make of my thoughts whatever you will.
Sincerely,
Mr. Album
Strange. I remember you as a writing hero
I still see you as a hero in general.
Whether or not you're person has changed, you're always Regidar to me.
Regi, consider doing the Write Offs. There you can compete against and interact with many of the "Upper Class" members of the site, like Horizon, Present Perfect, Skywriter, Titanium Dragon, Eakin, Bad Horse, etc.
Write a story about changelings and I'd read it.
2750762 I'll see you at EFNW
2754020 but changelings are one of the worst things the show ever introduced
2754209 worse than Roseluck?
(but seriously, what is it you don't like about changelings?)