Asylum Characters: Rainbow Da... Daa... Daaaash · 11:20pm Nov 25th, 2014
I've been writing a bit of chapter 26 today - 1k in so far, baby! - and I was considering my portrayal of Rainbow Dash in the story so far. So I decided to write up a few thoughts on her, how I think about her motivations and picture her character, and see what you guys think. Considering Asylum is in the final stretch - I want to be finished within a few chapters - I thought I could post some unstructured thoughts about a character interpretation for a bit of fun and self-analysis. If you haven't read the story all the way, these will contain SPOILERS, so just be cautious.
You see, I have a bit of a soft spot for this character. I love flawed characters, and in many ways Rainbow is the most obvious example of how Broadhoof's ponies are broken reflections of their canon selves. She's strong, opinionated and proud, but her strong self-image is marred by a speech impediment and injured wings (brain damage isn't a pleasant condition). While on a normal person/pony such issues can be hard enough to deal with, for Rainbow they are filtered through the prism of her strong pride and personal confidence, which only make the situation worse.
Rainbow Dash's identity is so tied into her physical abilities and the image other's have of her that to take them away would leave her in many ways a husk of her former self. For someone so dependent upon those key factors to define their own self-worth, losing them is an existential crisis. The canon Rainbow Dash might have periods of inactivity - hospital visits and such - but she is always aware that she can go back and train, that she will get better, that she has friends who always look up to her. She knows it wont last forever.
In Asylum, Rainbow Dash doesn't have that benefit. She's never had the chance to be an actual hero. Her sense of self-worth was demolished while she was still young.
When something so important to how we define who we are is taken away, we can struggle to cope. Like the artist who has been blinded, Rainbow Dash was left desperate to convince herself that she was not suddenly worthless. For a child, this can just pile on another layer of trauma to what they are going through. Young Rainbow's accident left her crippled and damaged and everything she valued about herself was taken from her. She stuttered. She couldn't fly well. She was left grasping for something to hold onto.
What she took salvation in were delusions. A web of fantasy and denial that she created to protect herself from the truth. Over the years it became more developed, more ingrained into her psyche. And with the denial came anger. The doctors weren't just wrong - they were actively preventing her from really getting better. Her brash bravado complimented this, part of her shield to ward of the dangerous threat of reality. It was easier to grow angry at others than to deal with the pain of accepting what truly had happened. That stubbornness can be seen in her stuttering. She fights to force out her syllables, angry that she has to do it, confident that it's not nearly as bad as it might seem, and furious if anyone ever brings it up or draws attention to it.
Rainbow Dash is, in this world, trapped and hurting, and with no easy way out. And I think that's why I find her both tragic and adorable.
Yes, it might sound odd (does it sound odd?) but I find Rainbow Dash to be a very interesting character in her own right. I find the way she still acts as if she were as "cool" as she was in the show, even when stuttering on her own name or unable to fly properly. Where confidence meets delusion, she is right there - and that, to me, makes her more interesting. We can all sympathize with someone who is disabled, but what happens when they have an ego like Rainbow Dash, and they end up using that ego to escape reality? She's the same mare in many ways - proud, self-absorbed, confident, brave - but when you take that idea and attach it to someone who is disabled in major ways, it creates a contrast I find appealing in a character.
So yes, part of me just wants to give her a hug when she struggles to pronounce her own name. I'm man enough to admit it. I think that's why part of me hopes that someone will draw up an image of Rainbow D-D-Dash. Deep down you know she is suffering, but she doesn't even seem aware of it herself. She's given in to the delusions. It's safer, to believe it's not going to last forever. She doesn't act like everything is fine because she's just that brave, she does it because she's afraid. She won't even seriously give speech therapy a chance because to admit she needs it is to admit weakness, and a failure to handle something on her own.
And that is what she can't tolerate.
Anyway, what I wanted to do was post an excerpt from my Character Bible, just so you can see some of my internal thinking and the prep that went into the story. Please remember that much of this information is not up to date as the character has changed over time to greater or lesser degrees. For example, there isn't any mention of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy coming from the same foster home. Asylum is cannon; this is mere sketches and planning doodles, for your enjoyment.
This is straight out of my notes, so please forgive the formatting and such.
Rainbow Dash: Borderline personality disorder, Grandiose delusions, Brain Damage. Was injured when a filly when attempting a Sonic Rainboom. While successful, she was severely injured in the crash, suffering severe injuries to her wings that hobbled her attempts to fly. Finds it difficult to fly now, but holds firm to delusions that she will still join the Wonderbolts if she can just get out and practice some more, and blames her time in the Asylum for continued failures. Was imprisoned when she violently assaulted two colts taunting Fluttershy. While friendly most of the time, can become enraged quickly when confined or otherwise kept from obtaining what she wants. Resentful of the staff. Highly protective of Fluttershy. Blames AJ for Fluttershy's suicide attempt. Brain damage causes difficulties speaking and problems with flying, but she isn't "retarded". Has an ego, but with patients is very willing to help others, although she seems like a braggart.
NOTE: Rainbow Dash’s speech impediment (stutter)
Mostly fixed postures (trying to force herself to speak but nothing coming out)
D’s, N’s, W’s
She doesn’t nnn... nnh... nnneed you bothering her, alright?
Www… www… wwwhy don’t you just g-get out? (wuh… wuh?)
My name is Rainbow Da… Da… Daaash.PROBLEMS: Anger issues at the world, fueling a volcanic temper. Places blame on those around her for her troubles, and uses them as excuses for her physical problems. Assigns blame so she doesn't have to face the truth that her accident means her dreams are impossible. This fuels a cycle where she believes her goals are realistic, so whenever she cannot achieve those goals or she faces obstacles to them, she acts with anger or violence to avoid realizing the hurtful truth. Doesn't want to be crippled because her sense of worth is tied intrinsically into her speed. Subconsciously protects Fluttershy because Fluttershy needs her, and she is afraid that nobody else will need her because she is a cripple. Doesn't want to admit to sadness or other "weak" emotions because she associates such "weakness" with her current fate.
So I'd invite y'all to discuss what you think about her here, or in the story. I'm quite partial to her as I've said, but I wonder what you think about her, about my approach, and importantly, if her stuttering is annoying or even readable on the page. One thing I've tried to do with her is to keep from presenting her as a caricature or just a stuttering stereotype, and I wonder if I pulled that off. Feel free to ponder how much of what I've written makes sense or is still valid - and please, feel free to disagree with me or point out where I've been wrong! 
Anyway, just thought I'd waste a little time thinking aloud. Hope y'all are having a great pre-Thanksgiving week!
-Derek (aka DoD)
On a side note, if you want to see an amazing picture of Rainbow Dash from Asylum, click HERE!
Whoa, seriously? ...I gotta confess I find that hard to imagine, from where the story is now.
Sweet Luna, that link is just so damn full of feels, and it sums up the blog perfectly.
I look forward to seeing blogs for the remainder of the M6.
Aside from maybe Fluttershy, Dash definitely has it the worst there. She won't let anyone help her and a lot of the pain she experiences comes from herself not wanting to admit her faults. Hang tight Dash, the end is nigh.
Also, if the removal of the "sad" tag is any indication, I have a good feeling about the ending.
think thirty chapters for the overall story could work, maybe thirty two. really want the ending to be well executed.
also the feels with poor rainbow man. the feels!!
so rainbow did perform the rainboom, yet nearly killed herself in the process. and thus the chain reaction of events that united the mane six ultimately exists in this world......... a chain of events that somehow twilight knows about. find that suspicious personally. pinkie's memories of the past also seem to indicate there is something very off. as real as this world seems, somehow twilight is aware of things she would not have the ability to know.
it is also weird that ultimately......... even if this world is real, she has the power to help her friends heal regardless. especially rainbow dash it seems. should all twilight remembers be an illusion, and if she finds value in her life and this world inspite of that, it could give rainbow dash the strength to face reality and admit what she has lost.
if the end is coming, i hope you keep up this good work for it......... and do not make it some kind fo mindfuck endign with someone ridign off on a penguin.
This is actually quite interesting to think about, thanksyou.
"Considering Asylum is in the final stretch - I want to be finished within a few chapters"
…Oh, my…
Interesting post, though. :)
I hope you don't want to finish so soon only because life is getting in the way.
Also, that link. So many feels.
No plan ever survives first contact.
Good lord, why is it that when ever I comment on something of yours, I inadvertently reference The Line?
Anyways, yeah, don't plan on wanting to finish the story. You do that, and things suddenly get rushed, people get angry and confused by the shitty ending and terribad amount of plot holes, and you end up feeling like shit because you failed big time. Enjoy writing the story, dude, let the end up into its own. If you know, gut feeling know, of where the story should go, and where it should end, then go with that.
As for Dash, I find her more annoying, and irritated by the fact that Twilight feeds her delusions. That's mostly a personal thing, so I won't say much, but living a lie because you can't accept the truth, can sometimes be more painful than the truth or the reality itself.
Were Dash to accept that yes, she won't join the wonderbolts, she could finally move on. She gets her speech therapy, she becomes normalized, she gets her physical therapy, and since it looks like the brain damage is centralized to her motor cortex considering shes at a loss in her motor functions, she could still go to college, learn, and possibly still work with the wonderbolts. Not as one, or as their trainer, but every performance and stunt team needs someone who is good at crunching numbers, who knows their physics, aerodynamics, calculus, and so on. She won't be the one performing the stunts, but that doesn't mean she can't be the one who helps them develop them.
A smart man once said, what a man can do is what a man will do. That kind of grim determination is what many either ignore, or deny because it means they have to accept that their dreams won't be achieved as specifically as they wish, or that following that kind of path means that things will be difficult for them.
In Dash's case, really, it comes down to that I am slightly disgusted, annoyed and hold pity for her. She has the will to achieve what she wants, but she won't accept the bend or flex in the steps of achieving the goal.
Was injured when a filly when attempting a Sonic Rainboom.
Would while work better here?
Leaf, but I really like this story. Always nice to see a chapter update when I need to get punched in the feels.
It would be an interesting thing to see if Pinkie and Rainbow Dash could become close in a similar fashion like they are in the show. They had a rocky start in the show and the same here but it would be interesting to see if they could become close in this story like they did in the show or not.
I also feel that your Pinkie character is interesting as well. I am happy that she is one of the most commonly seen characters.
Thanks for posting the image, hehe.
As to Rainbow, she's the character I most sympathize with in the story, though I don't want to say a lot about that here.
In any case...man. You posted the first chapter in Jan. of 2013, right? Looks like the story will take just about two years to finish. It would be kind of neat if you could get the final chapter done and posted two years to the day of the beginning.
I think you're spot on with writing Rainbow Dash the way she is in this story. Every time she speaks my heart breaks a little inside because I feel so sorry for her and just want to hug her everytime (that's a good thing though). The stuttering isn't too much which is good, just coming up in appropriate moments.
2616671
Twilight shows her MLP. MLP has that effect on people.
better not. That's just the way for her to overload herself again, as Wonderbolts use to challenge their students
Better move somewhere where they never perform, to avoid seeing that "red cloth".
Your Rainbow Dash might be my favorite thing about Asylum.
I still remember the first time she got stuck on a word. It was back when we'd hardly seen her; at that point, I thought her anger issues were the reason she'd been put away. But then suddenly there she was, up in Twilight's face, struggling just to get out basic words, eyes blazing with a weakness she'd never admit. I had to put the computer down and walk away.
I used to have a stutter. I know how it can destroy you, how it can turn an extroverted, lively person into an ashamed, insecure mess. All I could think was, not her. Not her.
I would kill to see your full character bible because it's one of my favorite parts of these sorts of things. That being said, I love your handling of RD and Pinkie most of all. Both because you've done something I'm always fascinated by, seeing how a character copes when you make an integral part of their life impossible (in the case of rainbow dash) or a taboo (in Pinkie's case). Those two form a very nice dichotomy together. Rainbow has grown delusional and bitter, resorting to blaming all others but herself for her failures (No Johns Rainbow!) and refuses to allow outside help because she MUST do it herself. Because of this, she was unwilling to join in on Twilight's scheme at first. in the end however, she was the second to join because she saw Twi as a chance to escape and fulfill her dream. I actually worry what would become of her if she were to leave the asylum, because once she is outside, he delusions will either fall apart or grow even grander in scale and complexity. Pinkie, on the other hand, has done the opposite, she blames herself to a degree far beyond reason to the point where she begins to question if she is "a bad pony." Due to her deep self loathing, she sees herself as incapable and seeks the approval of others above all else. This is why she is so easily manipulated by Twilight at first, yet she falls back so quickly after. A conflict of interest between two Ponies who's approval she seeks is one of the most terrifying things she can experience because of the fear of choosing wrong and becoming a "bad pony." Those two almost act as two sides of the same coin in several respects.
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I think this is, really, what I tried to capture. That sort of pain and frustration - but for her, there wouldn't be any acceptance of even a moment of "weakness". She would only push herself harder to spit that word out, which would just feed her anger until she is left raging at what she can't even admit.
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I'll probably do some of the others later. I think after the story is complete - hopefully before May - I'll post the full thing so you can see all the unused ideas and such in there as well.
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I like Pinkie as a character. One of my favorites. I think she is just written poorly many times, because she just becomes "lol so random" or a walking 4th wall joke, which just makes her a gag character and nothing more.
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It's just the raw notes, copy pasted, so there will be plenty of flaws and mistakes.
2617144
Oh, I missed that line.
Spoilers, huh? I'll bookmark this and come back at some point over Christmas break after I've had time to catch up.
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I should clarify that I mean within roughly five chapters, maybe seven. That's what I picture, but that's a rough estimation.
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I'll share it some time. It's not fully updated and edited though - if I showed it now it would have plenty of spoilers, but also have false starts and incorrect paths to abandoned story elements too.
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Fills me with both anticipation and dread.
Given how much time you have taken setting everything up having resolution in 5-7 chapters seems like only enough time to for Twilight to try her desperate gambit fail and either fall back into deeper delusions or acknowledge the asylum as reality. The ending I was hoping for (Twilight breaking the illusion and restoring everyone back to cannon selves) seems to have rather bad odds at the moment as Twilight is not in the proper mindset at the moment(She is being far to manipulative and uncaring of these versions of her friends) to successfully manage to break the illusion. So that means she would have to fail, realize her mistake, fix said mistake, and then manage to banish the illusion. Difficult to do in the time stated to be remaining.
I am just really hoping its not a downer ending. Or one that leaves hints that whatever the result the actual truth is the opposite of whatever happened.
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Well one thing I plan is on having some longer chapters building up towards the ending. Honestly, my estimates are pretty loose. Who knows, maybe I'll just have to have a sequel?
2618757 Yeah, but that fact alone means that the spoilers may be just as difficult to detect as the false paths. Either way, I appreciate the good work.
Learning how to break a character takes a lot of insight into that character in the first place. I bet you've learned a lot more from breaking her than you could have in just about any other way.
As Shan Yu said, "Live with a man for forty years; share his meals, his home. Speak on every subject. Then, tie him up and dangle him over the edge of a volcano. On that day, you will finally meet the man."
You've dangled Rainbow Dash over the volcano's edge, and met the real her.
Do you recall, near the beginning of the fandom, when there were all those stories about how "Rainbow Dash looses her ability to fly"? It was so often used that it became as much a cliche' as "Molestia". In those stories, Rainbow Dash gets her wings damaged in some manner, and then spirals down into a pit of depression, suffering, and eventual tragedy.
Before too long, certain people started asking, "Why would Dash do that? Why wouldn't she just GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON? Those stories are stupid! Bleh!" Those people have no understanding of the character. You've hit the nail dead on the head here: her ability to fly fast is so fundamentally rooted into who she is as a character that many of her other attributes stem from it. If you were to take that away from her it wouldn't just stunt her movement, it would cripple her entire life.
This is neither here nor there, but I always took issue with people who couldn't be bothered to look deeper into that particular part of the character. I'm really glad you understand that part of her.