Daring Do and the Siren's Curse · 2:47pm Nov 16th, 2014
Rainbow Dash hovered anxiously over the crowd.
It was true that Dash's default position in any given crowd was "hovering over it." The weatherpony always existed in an uneasy peace with the earth; on the one hoof, the earth supported all her friends, and all her friends' stuff, and they would probably be really ticked if it were to suddenly go away. On the other, the ground had done Rainbow Dash a lot of damage over the years by being generally unyielding in response to failed corkscrew turns, for instance. Dash and the ground admittedly maintained a wary and respectful distance as a matter of course.
On this particular day, though, being on the ground—in that crowd—was utterly out of the question.
"This is ridiculous!" shouted Twilight Sparkle, Princess of All Friendship Everywhere, waving around a copy of Daring Do and the Siren's Curse. "She spends the entire book as a monkey, for crying out loud!"
"You're just letting your irrational hatred of monkeys pollute this discussion," shot back Lyra, Duchess d'Heartstrings, a mint-colored unicorn so far from her family's throne (and thus the public's attention) that she could afford to engage in public cosplay and live-action role-playing without risking scandal.
"What?" Twilight cried. "I don't hate monkeys! Sure, they smell funny and have a weird relationship with their own fecal matter, but that doesn't mean I hate them. I just don't particularly enjoy reading about them for like three hundred pages! It's the sort of lazy authorial trick we never would have seen back when my mom was writing this series!" Cheers from Twilight's half of the convention hall.
"If you were actually a fan of this series, you'd give this book a chance, Princess!" Cheers from the Duchess's half of the convention hall.
"I've given it a chance! I still think it stinks! If you were actually a fan of this series, you'd see this travesty as a cuff in the face to everything that used to be good about these books!"
"A.K. Yearling is putting a lot of love and care into these books, for ponies just like us. You know what this is? It's ingratitude. Plain and simple."
"It's not ingratitude to demand high standards! You're just sucking up whatever weird monkey-related swill she puts out because she hasn't actually put out a decent book in years! But by all means, go ahead! Just hoof over your bits to the publishers, like a good little fan!"
"What's with all this anger and bitterness, Sparkle?" Lyra snarled, her horn beginning to gleam sympathetically. The "I am now so upset I am foregoing honorifics" line had clearly been crossed. "Coming to DoCon used to be fun. We laughed, played, sang songs. It was great! Now it's just full of horrible complainy whiny jerks who make everyone feel rotten. Why do you even come to these things if you're just going to grouse?"
"I grouse because I care. I have standards, Lyra! And I 'come to these things' because I still love adventure just as much as I used to! I like to celebrate what this series used to be! I can't help it if all everypony talks about is this monkey book! Am I not supposed to express my opinion? Is that what you're saying?" The rumble of the crowd became a low roar.
"What I'm saying is that you're being a complete and total hater, Sparkle," said Lyra, poking her with one forehoof. "Hater. That's you." The low roar turned quickly to a medium roar.
"Why, you—!" Twilight sputtered. "You're just... some kind of drone! Like a changeling! Blindly loyal to the queen, never questioning, never thinking." Twilight's horn lit, then, as well, crackling with a sinister magenta aura. "I value thinking, Lyra! Very highly! And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a pony who doesn't think!"
Dash let out a nervous snort. Yeah, there was about a fifty percent chance now that somepony was going to end up as a cactus. Time to put a stop. Working with great professional economy, Dash gathered the water vapor from the ceiling of the convention hall (one of the unpleasant side effects of crowding this many steamy unshowered egghead ponies together in a small space: all the flippin' moisture) and formed it into a tiny black thundercloud. Then she gritted her teeth and gave it a good solid buck.
A thunderclap echoed across the hall. Shocked into momentary silence, all the fanponies looked ceilingward to see Rainbow Dash floating gently down, perched on her little black cloud.
"'Sup," she said, nodding to Lyra. "Twi."
"Rainbow Dash," said Twilight. "Daring Do's self-described hugest fangirl. Here to weigh in?"
"Eh, kinda," she said, keeping it easy. It was important to keep it easy, sometimes. You learn this sort of thing when you are a weatherpony dealing with mood-responsive stormclouds. You also learn this when you are totally completely awesomazingly chill, which Rainbow Dash was.
"Okay, look," said Dash. "I'm not gonna insult any of you by telling you to not take this series of young adult novels so seriously. Because saying that they're not worth caring about would imply that they aren't completely radical, and they completely are. A'ight?"
"All right," said Twilight Sparkle.
"Excuse me?" Rainbow Dash held a hoof behind one ear.
Twilight sighed. "A'ight," she said, fuming a little.
"Better," said Dash. "Okay, sorry about this, Twi. I know we're besties, but as the previous Bearer of the Element of Honesty—"
"Loyalty," muttered Twilight.
"Whatever. I gotta call a spade a spade here. You know that thing you say about how anypony that actually dares to like A.K. Yearling's version of Daring Do must be a brainless supporter of Ms. Yearling's publisher who's got no standards and doesn't actually care about the series? That's really insulting and wrong. There's a lot to like about the recent books. Even if Daring Do is a monkey for like the entire book. And I'm pretty sure that some the ponies who were writing Daring-Do-as-Monkey fanfic before ...Siren's Curse came out like the book because of this new development, not in spite of it."
"Woohoo!" shouted a lone gray pegasus with a bubble Mark, somewhere over on Lyra's half of the hall.
"See? Like her. Believe it or not, it really is okay for ponies to like the monkey-books!"
"But they're ruining the franchise! The more money they spend on monkey-books, the more monkey-books the publisher will put out! I don't want this franchise to turn into one hundred percent monkeys all the time!"
"Yeah, I dunno," said Dash. "I mean, maybe spending bits on monkey-books will make the publisher produce more books about monkeys instead of original-flavor Daring Do books. It's possible. I'm not a publisher, so I can't tell you that. I prefer to think that publishers who see the money rolling in from anywhere in a franchise are going to wanna bankroll more of both kinds. Rising tide lifts all boats and all."
"Thanks, Dash," said the Duchess D'Heartstrings. "I knew you'd come down on the right side."
"I ain't done yet," said Dash, putting on her emergency sunglasses for an extra layer of chill. "Lyra, it's also really insulting and wrong for you to say that Twilight hasn't given the monkey-books a 'chance.' We're all a bunch of grown mares attending a convention for a young adult novel series, so, yeah. Pretty sure we've all given the topic of every single official release enough thought. Ponies have the right to like what they like, and dislike what they dislike, and they also have a right to be in this community even if they grouse about the direction the books are taking. Your happiness is your own responsibility. It is downright selfish for you to insist that someone else be happy even when they're not just because they're bringing your mood down. Crystal?"
Lyra stood there for a moment, mouth agape, and then looked away and muttered something that sounded vaguely like assent. Good enough for Dash. Giving her powerful wings a few strong beats, she hoisted her thundercloud a cubit or two more off the ground. "And here's the last thing I gotta say to the both of you. Daring Do conquers problems through the power of her extremely awesome adventure skills. But she also conquers problems through friendship. And when either—" She raised her head, addressing the entire convention hall now. "—when any of you say to yourselves, 'I value these books and this fandom so highly that I am going to be all surly and rude and namecall-y to my fellow ponies just to prove how much I value these books and this fandom,' for Celestia's sake, you had better friggin' check yourself. Because by being surly and rude and namecall-y to your fellow ponies, you are proving, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you don't actually value what you're claiming to. Because being surly and rude and namecall-y is the exact opposite of what this whole entire series is about."
Rainbow Dash gave a sharp nod. "That's my thing," she said.
"It... really has gotten kind of hostile," said Twilight.
"Yeah," said Lyra. "Maybe we should just... y'know, be happy with each other. Happy that there are other ponies who are just as passionate about the same silly thing we're passionate about. Happy we've got company on this crazy head-trip we're all on."
"Agreed." A smile. Then, hesitantly, the two ponies shared a hoofbump; sighs of relief, of tension relaxing, echoed throughout the convention hall.
"I know what," Twilight continued. "Let's make this fandom what it used to be, back in the early days, back when we were all peaceful and happy. We should all sit down together and share our thoughts on one of our favorite books."
"That's a great plan, Princess," said Lyra. "I've got an idea: why don't we talk about one of my very favorite installments in the series: Daring Do and the Extended Metaphor of Faith Versus Scientific Understanding!"
Princess Twilight Sparkle's eyes grew flinty.
* * *
In Equestria, they were long and sinewy things; elegant, slippery and snakelike. For literally thousands of years, they had been trapped in the awkward, gangling bodies of the native inhabitants of their prison-dimension. Now, they were back, and their old serpentine forms welcomed them back like a pair of comfortable slippers.
Comfortable slippers like they used to wear back in the prison-dimension, of course. They didn't currently have feet that would accept comfortable slippers. This was a point of chagrin for Sonata, who constantly lamented the loss of her two fuzzy bunny friends. This was to be expected from Sonata, because she was a moron.
Sonata's relative stupidity was actually not bothering Adagio all that much today. She stretched decadently, then relaxed, her body falling in easy curves all across the surprisingly-roomy maintenance area beneath the floor of the convention center. The portal between the prison-dimension and Equestria opened so frequently now; little bits of correspondence, gifts and souvenirs exchanged across the interdimensional divide. All it had taken was one little misdirection, one moment of inattention, for the three of them to slip through...
"Mmm," purred Aria, glancing up at the muffled noise of Daring Do fans really going at it now. "This is the best petty bickering I've had. In, like, a thousand years."
"I brought popcorn!" shouted Sonata, gleefully, displaying a striped paper carton caught up in the coils of her tail.
"You eat hatred and dissent, Sonata," groaned Aria. "Not popcorn."
"I think they go great together."
"You know what else goes great together? My cloaca and your face."
"What do you know about pairing food and anger?"
"More than you!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Please," said Adagio. "Idiots, please. You're interrupting my digestion. Let's just sit back and enjoy this delicious feast, shall we? I, for one, am perfectly content right now."
"Yeah," said Sonata. "I kinda miss my chaos amulet, though."
Adagio raised her long, horsey head and gave her underling a sweet little smile.
"Who needs chaos amulets," she said, "when you've got fandom?"
Hah! Very nice. :)
<makes hasty scribbles in his notebook>
SkywriTrr – elEmeNt of MetAniss
More seriously (and less typographically), this was a very nice vignette in the style of "Hoardsmiths". It's a shame it's not an actual story, given that level of similarity.
Is EqG hate still really a thing? I guess maybe this is what I get for going quiet for a few months. I just like my pony, whether it's pony or not—especially when there's singing to be had. Also, Sunset Shimmer is totally my new Cadance.[1] But I sort of thought the EqG firestorm must have died down at some point. I... could engage in rambling monologue here, but will not, because it's not interesting or useful. But anyway, this was a fun way to start my morning, and thank you!
[1] Waitaminnit, if Cadance foalsat for Twilight, shouldn't Sunset Shimmer and Cadance be roughly contemporaries in terms of hanging out with Celestia? Oh my gosh, this fact needs more love. I think I may have to toss that on my idea pile.[2]
[2] ...yes, I'm aware you just strongly alluded to this, like five days ago or whatever. Or wait, no, I read it then. You did it before. But you didn't run with it! I wanna see Candybutt, Princess of Candylove go toe to toe with Selfish McSelfishBridle, Student of NotFriendshipYet.
Let me guess: Subtle jabs at the fandom war over Equestria girls?
2598275
Well, I woudn't call it "subtle," as such.
Very nice touch. You managed to fit a second agenda inside your allegory.
It is like turkey stuffed with chicken... for the mind.
My... my sides. They hurt. Ah, that moment when one of your favourite series suddenly pulls out the "I am John Galt" speech.
Right. On to the reason for this blog post even needing to exist:
I'm going to admit: I'm not a fan of the Equestria Girls series. I vocally dislike the series.
I will vocally hate on the art style. I will vocally hate on the character decisions and weak script[1]. I will vocally lament that this is the movie we got. I will vocally type all my opinions out, because my hands work faster if I yell the words to them.
Not once am I going to hate you for liking it.
For cryin' out loud, we're in the Brony fandom. Remember, at the start, four years ago, when being a Brony made you the victim of news reports calling you a pedophile, or a freak, or worse? Yes, worse than a pedophile. Probably. I mean, I can't think of it now, but they definitely, probably, did at the time. We were on the news, publicly shamed and humiliated, for our personal taste in animation viewing.
Now, you've got some portion of the fandom divided on this issue, not unlike the pro-Twilicorn/no-Twilicorn debacle, and you have the nerve, the bile, the slood to act in the same manner as those who persecuted you for joining the fandom yourself, in the same manner, for the same reasons? Doesn't that seem a bit, if not at the very least ironic, somewhat hypocritical? Come on.
Now, let's all celebrate the fact that all the money we pump into this fandom, either way, has resulted in the MLP comics, which are just... just so good, you guys. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to make a quilt out of stitching them together, so they can cradle me to sleep.
[1] At least for the first one. The second one is apparently better but I cannot get over that art style okay? That anatomy... eugh.
I'm looking forward to how they tie it all up. Also hoping pony flash sentry gets some screen time and actual character development. As long as they split both series off cleanly after a 3rd movie or a first series I'll be happy enough. Too much crossover would do my head in.
I can't help but think this is about something else apart from Daring Doo, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
2598271
For some Sunset / Cadence interation you might like to try this.
I also like the idea that the two of them might have vied for Shining Armour's affections as well.
Please publish this as an actual story so I can like and favorite it.
I too loved the dig at "Feeling Pinkie Keen", even if it is one of my favorite episodes.
How topical, and definitely worth taking to heart.
Darn it, I still can't favorite blog posts!
I want to see Twilight forced to say "a'ight" in the show. That's my takeaway from all of this.
2598361
Eh, I think this crosses the line into non-allowable "meta." Glad you liked it, though!
2598500 It can't hurt to submit it!
Something occurred to me.
Since A.K. Yearling is actually Daring Do, and thus we can probably surmise that the books she writes are at least lossely based on her actual adventures, than doesn't that mean she actually spent an adventure as monkey?
Wow, I was just on the porch reading about how the Georgia Whig Party splintered in the Election of 1852, and then I come online to see this.
Will the fandom stay together? Can anything, in this chaotic world?
2598271
There's not enough Sunset fic in general, but there especially isn't enough of it looking into her past in Equestria as Princess Celestia's student!
2598764
Daring Don't is obviously doubleplusungood noncanon.
*gathers a crowd of grumpy fans*
That was great. The "Daring Do solves her problems through friendship" bit maaaay have been a bit of a stretch in service of your not-so-subtle ulterior aims, but otherwise, fun stuff.
...sooooo what fandom drama happened this time to spark this?
No seriously, I try to pay as little attention as possible.
2598271
YES. YES, IT IS. >_<
This would be a fine actual story.
This is great. I particularly liked the bit about Daring Do and the Extended Metaphor of Faith Versus Scientific Understanding. TAKE HER OUT, TWILIGHT!
When Dash is the voice of reason, you know things have gotten out of hand.
I can't believe I've spent all this time discussing horses with you people only to wind up as fish food. Of a sort.
2598282
I'd say you managed to be more subtle than Arthur's dislike of his sister Jenny (and her wimpy husband Hank) in this:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/17/BootToTheHead-AlbumCover.jpg
But only slightly.
I came here to read my backlog of stories.
Get your blog post instead. Now im outa time.
This should be a story. Must be.
There are many, many times im glad I stay on the fringes of the fandoms.
I loved this line,
"You know what else goes great together? My cloaca and your face."
I started losing it at that point.
2599596
I should write more Sirens. Their interactions are dumb, obvious, easy and strangely satisfying.
As a long time fan of the series, I have to say, A.K Yearling never really lived up to Twilight Velvet's bold vision for Daring Do, that's why I think it"s been going down since SS1 (The fan name for Saphire Stone, obviously). Twilight really nailed it, I just wish she had spent more time complaining about how cardboard Ahuizotl has become.
Also, bring back Conan!
I thought the meta rule had gone by the wayside, and all that! You should at least make a go of submitting this! Worst case scenario, t gets rejected and fimfic loses a feature-box worthy candidate
2599171
Ah, man, gotta love the classics.
I am disturbed that the only result for the accompanying song on YouTube is like a Naruto fan video or something.
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slow_clap_citizen_kane.gif
Masterfully done. Don't feed the sirens, folks. Everyone has a right to their opinion, and just because theirs are different from yours shouldn't be taken as an insult or affront to the dignity of the fandom. We're discussing candy-colored cartoon horses. What dignity?
2600562
I do so love that .gif.
2600267
I can conceive of worse worst-case scenarios, alas.
2599159
Scaly flying air eels!
2598874
Eh, there's never a shortage of drama. Today on Equestria Daily a simple promo announcing S5 that mentioned Twilight Sparkle's character journey without mentioning her friends caused minor Ponynet freakouts about how the show is going to be / is all about Princess Twilight to the exclusion of her friends. Lately, one of the IDW comic artists put a one-panel cameo of someone's OC in the 2014 annual, and this someone apparently is a vocal misandrist, which then draws the SJW topic into the ring (the Internet's Centralia Mine Fire); you will find folks angrily boycotting the comics unless the artist is reassigned to another project, that sort of thing. And as you note and apparently yourself experience, EQG is still a hot-button issue for people. Some folks are more civil about their emotions than others.
All in all, another typical day on the Internet.
2598500
Wait, meta fics aren't allowed? *casts a sideways glance at Hoardsmiths*
If this were a story, you'd get a fave and a like. You nail Dash's attitude perfectly and hilariously! Also, cloaca is just an inherently funny word.
2601128
I'm as surprised as you are.
2601187
Thanks!
As much as this was highly entertaining to read as a blog, I have to say as anything resembling a serious attempt at a story, this would be terrible. It is certainly well past that line of meta, and that Dash was so out of character it wasn't even funny. I mean, it was a little funny in the context of the blog for which it was written, but it would be pretty awful if it were to be presented as anything like serious prose. Or something.
As for the EqG hate, eh. It is just as dumb as the anti-Twilicorn stuff before it. If you want to enjoy the show less, that is your choice. Don't try to make me enjoy the show less by dragging me down with you. I don't hold any illusions that the show itself is so error-free and I enjoy it just fine. Overall I think things have simply gotten better each season. My enjoyment increases the more pony there is. Why wouldn't others want to have more enjoyment as well?
I have trouble believing that the anti-meta rule is still on the books here at FimFic. Didn't we get over controlling what kinds of fiction are allowed on the site as long as it involves ponies a long time ago?
Given your last couple posts, I'd almost think this whole EqG thing was getting to you, and that would be sad.
But then you channel your feelings into writing, and it becomes awesome. 
Yup. Artist detected.
2601903
I'm confused.
If you're talking about her dialogue, sure (though I think her mannerisms are right on, silly sunglasses notwithstanding). She's 100% Skywriter mouthpiece and about ten seconds into talking she doesn't sound like Dash's canon dialogue style at all. It's almost as if this was some kind of thinly veiled soapbox blog post instead of a submitted story, and he was having fun with it.
...but if you're trying to say that Dash wouldn't be capable of being a mediator or a voice of reason? Not only would I vehemently disagree with you, but I would also find it really sad that that kind of potential couldn't be seen within her. We've seen otherwise already in the source material.
Besides, being in a fandom does screw with people, and can definitely allow them to sound egghead-y about one completely specific useless thing despite how they may usually act. Again, source material. "Daring Don't" is canon.
2601025 Hold on, people complain that the show is all about Twilight? I swear man, we didn't receive even one twilight themed slice of life episode! Season 4 is my favorite season, that much I'm sure about, but if it had one pitfall it's that there wasn't nearly enough Twilight Sparkle. Yes there was the season premier and finale, but that really doesn't fill the Twilight shaped hole in the rest of the season.
2604902
I think the general complaint is that friend-ponies get slice-of-life episodes and then when there is a threat to Equestria, all the focus goes to what they perceive as an increasingly-flawless and Mary Sue-ish Twilight Sparkle while the others sit around. There are a number of reasons why I believe this argument to be an invalid one, but there's no particular value in trying too strenuously to change other peoples' minds on the matter.
2604976 I agree wholeheartedly. I've always decided how I enjoyed the show independent of anyone else's opinions. Just has you have written out right above this comment, people are allowed to like and dislike whatever they choose. So long as it doesn't get ugly I suppose it matters not. Thanks for your work on this and the C.o.C cycle! Keep being awesome buddy.
2602112
EQG itself isn't "getting" to me, as such, but I'm a little weary of the infighting. Too many people seem willing to commute their perfectly-justified opinions on the show into vitriolic personal and increasingly dehumanizing attacks on fellow watchers, on either side of any line you care to draw. What especially irks me is people denigrating the concepts of love and tolerance because they originated in a 4chan meme as though the philosophy itself weren't a worthwhile one. I got into this fandom as deep as I did because it seemed like it was aspiring to something higher than vicious anti-social perspectiveless obsession over the trivia of the core property at the expense of its primary virtues. Not sure I hold that same opinion of the fandom as a general whole at this point. It may be a trick of perception; maybe it's just that the fandom got expansive enough at some point that it absorbed a very vocal and hateful fringe minority who went about presenting themselves as a majority by being loud, obnoxious and omnipresent? That said, the fandom is full of many wonderful and talented individuals (many of whom are in my followsphere) and allowing myself to get too down and stop participating and producing content seems uncomfortably like succumbing to some Internet fandom version of Gresham's Law. That said, last night marked the first time I've ever enjoyed watching a pony property less because of my association with this fandom (via rudimentary classical conditioning relating it to the insults and attacks) which is a worrying sign. I'll never claim the show is perfect, but I don't want one of its flaws in my mind to be "it makes me think of people being horrible fucktards to one another."
2611750
Well, I was referring to the fandom reactions, rather than the property itself when I said "the whole EqG" thing, though I suppose that was unclear.
I had to look up "Gresham's Law" and after doing so, and mulling over the relations between currency and participation in an internet community, I determined that you're too good for us and must be collected. Really though, I'm really happy to see people like you taking the time to look at things in perspective. I really do understand the actual impact negativity can have, even when you know, intellectually, that it's not worth your time to indulge. Still, it's always been there, and always will be there. I find that if I want to remain unaffected, I have to engineer my environment such that I just don't see it.
With regard to the uh... "Love and Tolerate" mantra though, I have to admit to holding (and perhaps expressing, though if I did, I don't recall when) similar sentiments, though not due to any association it may have with 4chan. (Which would be ironic, given the genesis of what came to be "the fandom") Rather, I find it to be one of those phrases that sounds warm and fuzzy on the surface, but doesn't really hold up to any inspection, like r/mylittlepony's "be pony-like". What? Be an ungulate? Be like FiM characters? Ponies are nasty to each other all the time in the show, else there would be few stories or opportunities for morals, and more on-topic, the Elements of Harmony are about as close to the antithesis of tolerance as I can think of. Unconditional tolerance of everyone and everything isn't really the best idea if you get right down to it, and that's kind of what this two-word 'philosophy' seems to be advocating. Basically, I twitch a little whenever I see the phrase thrown around not because of any cultural associations, but because I'm an insufferable pedant.
I guess I'd prefer that everyone be excellent to each other or something like that, which is less context-specific, but why should moral superiority be limited to fans of the pony show?
I hope that doesn't make me sound like a huge dick. It's something I'm often worried about, and it seems incredibly ironic that I'm ending a post like this in a thread about negativity. I just don't know when to stop typing.
2620851
Not at all and no worries. And yes, unconditional tolerance is not typically the way to go (although as a Christian my "what I will tolerate" bar is ostensibly set rather higher on that front). I guess what I was trying to say is that regardless of how 4chan used it, I find it a useful phrase when interpreted in a more complex way than "apply both principles equally and universally," more like a simple "these are two important principles." Again, whatever the original intent, I find it works best as a hierarchy: love above all, then exercise tolerance. In practice, this boils down to "love, decide what you will tolerate, and when you decide you must not tolerate, always make that decision with love."