Uncle Rusty's Nine Hundred Mile Road Trip of Manliness · 10:16pm Nov 15th, 2014
"Aaarrgh! Fuck! Billy, I thought I told you to go before we left!"
Next Friday, I move up to my new home in New York.
This means I'll be traveling there all the way from Charleston. Bit of a drive, y'see.
So from the 21'st of November to the 1'st of December, you won't be hearing anything new from me because I'll be fucking right off and enjoying my transfer leave. The world can just deal with it, because I certainly won't be putting up with any of the usual ridiculous faggotry you assclowns love throwing around.
The route I've got planned is nine hundred miles long (actually 897 but who's counting). And I'll be doing it alone (with Billy), in a shitty pickup truck that's actually older than I am (by a year). Which I just backed into a ditch yesterday so now it looks like it might have a wonky rear shock (it was my fault). First time I've actually ever tried something like this before, so I'm kind of nervous resigned to my fate.
Essentially, I'm about the bend the entire eastern seaboard over the kitchen table and spank it like a bitch. ...Unless it spanks me first, of course.
"Gee, Mister Rust! What's the worst that could happen?"
I end up stuck in New Jersey, Billy. New Jersey is the crusty, hairy butthole of the northeast, and refuse to be another one of its dingleberries!
Nobody wants to be a dingleberry.
Ahem (wearing a New Jersey shirt looking angry)
What you say about New Jersey?
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2597115
called it the cum dumpster of new england
2597167
Mapquest was all like "Hey, let's go through the Bronx while we're at it!"
And I'm like, fuck no do you want me to get stabbed
...same thing that happened Rainbowbob?
Speaking as a fellow New Yorker, it'll be nice to have a friend up here. If you need a detour to rest and recharge, let me know. I'd be happy to meet you somewhere for lunch and a bit of BS'ing face to face.
2597190
i batpone, not sponge
batpone>sponge
#nosoupforyou
also, too soon
2597196
I'll be upstate, breh
2597120 Listen here Mister Iron Oxide. First off, New Jersey is not part of New England, nor is it related geographicly to it.
Second, it is not a 'cum dumpster', in anyway what so ever.
So here is what I am going to do:
I am going to take my giant robot
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And take a chipping hammer to remove you. And cover it with Interlac 665:
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And to this to you and your car:
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So Suck It! Rust.
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2597208
I'm upstate too, sexy. I'm an hour south of Albany and about an hour and a half from Schenectady. So unless you're going to wind up in Buffalo, visits would be possible! We could definitely hang.
Ten bucks says the shitty pickup truck breaks down on your way there.
You should be a man and find a way to add those extra 3 miles.
Hey, I used to LIVE in NJ, thank you very much!
...
Yeah, it actually was that bad. I'm not gonna lie. My dad was stationed there when I was a scawny little shit. Fucker was lucky, he saw the inside of a supply ship more than Jersey. He got to dick around in the Mediterranean for nine months while I went to school in America's pubic hair bush. Luckily I moved out after year, so no permanent mental scarring was sustained.
Been to New York, too. NYC was overrated, but the upper parts of the state had some insane fishing holes. When you get there, be sure to look for a little something called Glaziers. It's a kind of frozen hot dog that you can only find up there and it... it's like food sex. I'm not even joking. It will literally make you UNF when you eat it.
2597208 yeah... still, take it easy on the road, okay?
:3
I can't wait till the end of NPS...want New York too.
If it tries to act up, take it from behind and don't use lube :3
Hey Rust. What's up
2600615
I CAN SEE THE FUUUUUUUTURE
2600714 How's that going for you
2600742
cadaveriffic
Who you callin' a dingleberry?
IN THE FUTUUUURE?