• Member Since 15th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

bookplayer


Twilight floated a second fritter up to her mouth when she realized the first was gone. “What is in these things?” “Mostly love. Love ‘n about three sticks of butter.”

More Blog Posts545

  • 220 weeks
    Holiday Wishes

    Merry Christmas to all my friends here.

    And to those who have read Sun and Hearth (or who don't intend to, or those who don't mind spoilers), a Hearth's Warming gift:

    Read More

    11 comments · 1,560 views
  • 228 weeks
    Blast from the Past: Now 100% Less Likely to Get Me In Trouble

    Hey, some of you guys remember that thing I did a long time ago, where I wrote up 50 questions about headcanon and suggested people answer them on their blogs, and then, like, everyone on the site wanted to do it, and then the site mods sent me nice but stern messages suggesting I cut that shit out because it was spamming people's feeds?

    Read More

    12 comments · 1,830 views
  • 231 weeks
    Full Circle

    Wanderer D posted a touching retrospective of his time in fandom, and that made me remember the very first I ever heard of the show.

    (Potential implied spoilers but maybe not? below.)

    Read More

    22 comments · 1,723 views
  • 234 weeks
    Sun and Hearth is complete, plus post-update blog

    If you've been waiting for a complete tag before you read it, or are looking for a novel to start reading this weekend, Sun and Hearth is now finished and posted.

    Read More

    19 comments · 1,561 views
  • 234 weeks
    Sun and Hearth Post-Update Blog: Chapter 20 - Judgement

    Post-update blog for the penultimate chapter of Sun and Hearth. Last chapter and epilogue go up tomorrow.

    Chapter 20 - Judgement is up now. Spoilers below the break.

    Read More

    6 comments · 700 views
Nov
11th
2014

The Return of Let's Read · 3:12am Nov 11th, 2014

Bradel is a pretty awesome guy, in case you hadn’t noticed. He gets to request a blog post every month, and for his post he wanted to do something that would “increase friendship in the community.” So he requested that I pick back up something I tried a long time ago, Let’s Read Reviews.

Since most of you probably weren’t around then, a Let’s Read review is a review done as I read the fic, with summary and quotes so you can see where I am in it. It’s part serious critique, I will point out when something works well and when it doesn’t and talk about what I like and what I don’t; it also involves a lot of riffing, either affectionate (if I’m enjoying myself) or snarking (if I’m not.) At the same time, I won’t go back and edit my opinions. If I missed the obvious, or made a big deal about something then look like an idiot, you guys will see it.

I’m taking suggestions for future installments, but I have a few rules:
I will only consider stories people submit in the comments.
You can only submit your own fics. This way I don’t feel bad about snarking if I don’t like it: you signed up for it.
The fic must be under 10,000 words
The fic may be any genre, any tag, but rated teen or lower.

You may want to consider things I like and don’t like if you’re concerned if I will like it:
I like dialogue, and tend to start skimming description alarmingly quickly. I also have little use for scenes that seem to be filler and don't contribute to the plot.
I like comedy and/or romance. The ships I like and dislike are fairly well known. You can recommend something with a ship I don't like, but things are likely to get snarky fast.
I almost certainly won't get whatever crossover you might be trying for. But you can suggest it!
I have a love/hate relationship with OCs. If they're done well and used well in the story, I love them, maybe more than canon characters. But they're usually not done well. Suggest an OC story at your own risk.
It's very easy for me to get annoyed with Fluttershy. It's very hard for me to get annoyed with Applejack.
I like happy or bittersweet endings. I can deal with sad or tragedy. I'm not a big fan of dark

So, feel free to submit your own fics in the comments here, and I’ll pick one for next month.

Now, for this one, I felt it was only fair to go after Bradel himself, because if I didn’t like it then obviously he should have known better. So I chose:

It turns out this is a wonderful fic, and I’m glad I picked it. I can not recommend enough that you read it BEFORE reading this review. I will spoil everything, and you’ll be reading my fast, loose, and silly summary rather than a super fun fic. So if you’re going to read it, and you should read it, read it first.

Now that that’s out of the way, ready for the real Twilight Sparkle, me being a huge dork, and Applejack being Applejack? Let’s Read!

NEW PRINCESS MAKES UNWELCOME ADVANCES TO SADDLE ARABIAN AMBASSADOR
[...]
PRINCESS SPARKLE EXPRESSES INTEREST IN COLD SNAP REGION
1488th Regiment of Griffonstan Imperial Army Moved to Counteract Equestrian Territorial Pretensions
[...]
“DOWN WITH THE PRESS,” DECLARES EQUESTRIA’S NEWEST ROYAL

So, we start out with some examples of Twilight’s perfectly reasonable promiscuous, imperial, and totalitarian opinions.

SOFA SALES SLIDE AS PRINCESS SPARKLE QUESTIONS LEGITIMACY OF QUILL-SOFA CONNECTION

Oh, and she’s also anti-business. I’m not sure I like this Twilight chick.

Okay, really, Rarity is reading the paper and tsking at another of Twilight’s publicity faux pas and dealing with the morning after a CMC sleepover (they’re making flapjacks) when a frazzled Twilight drops by.

“Oh. Um. Yes.” Twilight cast another look back at the entrance of the boutique and scooted a little further into the room. “Well, yesterday I was talking to Princess Celes— I mean… Celestia. And she said I needed to get a new dress made for this year’s Grand Galloping Gala. After all, the old one doesn’t really accommodate my…” She glanced over her shoulder and fluffed out her wings, a self-conscious expression stealing across her face.

Scootaloo gave a little sigh, dropping her gaze to the floor. Sweetie Belle took a break from her pancakes to pat the pegasus filly’s mane reassuringly.

Taunting disabled children? Where’s my “I Voted for Applejack” bumper sticker?

So Twilight needs a dress, and she doesn’t want her old Gala dress altered because she wants to waste taxpayer money she doesn’t want the press to make fun of it. She feels like the press keeps misrepresenting her, and she’s a bad princess.

Rarity comforts her, then…

“Shh, shh. None of that, now, darling. You’re a wonderful pony and a wonderful princess.” Rarity felt her expression harden. “And if the Canterlot Times-Picayune can’t see that, well, then we’re just going to have to show them ourselves. Girls, why don’t you get Twili...” Rarity’s voice trailed off as an idea flashed into her head. “Girls...” Yes. Yes, of course.

Eyes narrowing, Rarity studied the three fillies at the breakfast table. The trio shrank back, huddling together. Rarity’s mouth twitched into a small smile, and Sweetie Belle gave a little squeal of fright.

Knowing fanfic as I do, this probably means that Rarity plans on dismembering the fillies to feed the to Opal and hopefully make this fic a meme-ish classic. Knowing Bradel as I do, this is probably not the case.

Then the first chapter ends waaay before I expected it to, which is awesome, because often I find myself checking the bar at the top of fics and wondering how much longer is this thing? I haven’t had much of substance to say so far because everything so far has been in character and fun and moving along quickly with plenty of cute stage business.

Next chapter!

The last light of the setting sun slanted through the windows of the Apple family barn – but instead of glittering off straw-dust like it would on any other night, this evening the sunlight illuminated the tall columns and sparkling tiles of a Canterlot palace facsimile. How Pinkie could find such convincing decorations on such short notice, Rarity would probably never understand. But find them she did, and even better, Pinkie had been perfectly content to help set up this party without sticking around to see it through. Pinkie didn’t seem to find the idea of party practice one tenth so interesting as the party itself.

Okay, a few months ago I made a post about backstage writing-- the idea that some things happen in fics because the writer likes writing them, or doesn’t like writing them.

That last line feels slightly out of character for Pinkie, so it seems to me to be saying “I need a party set-up, but I do not want to deal with Pinkie in this scene.”

Not that I can blame him.

Also: Duh!

Okay, so back in the last chapter there was a paragraph of Rarity thinking about how she would have handled the press that I didn’t think was important enough to mention… but now I’m thinking I should have. I’m guessing Rarity plans to teach Twilight how to handle the press (which, uh, is only the title of the fic. Nice detective work, bookplayer.)

In good news, chances of the CMC dismemberment have dropped to .001%. (Well you never know, do you?)

Anyway, the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, decorated to look like Canterlot. Pinkie is not there, Rarity and Applejack are there, and the CMC are LARPing (look it up, non-nerds.)

Scootaloo is playing a griffin (because they get flight) who’s a military official, and is supposed to make sure Princess Twilight’s imperial intentions are under control.

Apple Bloom is playing the zebra ambassador (because her accent means she has no problem with zebra-face) who wants Equestria to pay for a new irrigation. She’s Ambassador Mkali, and if you don’t know who that is you need to go to GhostOfHeraclitus’ story page, start reading, and stop when you run out of words (then join the rest of us in demanding more.))

Rarity is playing a ventrue shipping magnate and Sweetie Belle is playing her ghoul assistant.

And Applejack wants in on the LARP! And she’s going to make her own character (probably a garou… (Applejack would be a homid (equid?) Fianna philodox. I spent way too much time thinking about that.)) But Rarity is a control freak Storyteller and doesn’t think Applejack will fit in her plot.

Never underestimate Applejack.

They call Twilight in, and Rarity tells Apple Bloom to talk to her first. Apple Bloom tries to talk like a zebra, and Sweetie Belle goes all Social Justice Warrior on her.

Then Sweetie wants to role play with Rarity, and Rarity demonstrates why the Storyteller should only play NPCs, even though they never do, by being too busy with the exchange between Twilight and Apple Bloom to play the character she insisted on taking.

This is actually a really good example of just about every LARP I’ve ever been in.

So then Twilight insults the zebra ambassador, and they rock-paper-scissor for initiative.

But since they don’t have fingers (and rock-rock-rock never caught on in Equestria), Rarity jumps in and explains how Twilight was just horribly racist, and Twilight says she’s entitled to her opinion. And Rarity points out she can have all the opinions she wants as long as they’re not racist.

Rarity figures that part is over, and calls for Scootaloo to play a scene with Twilight, but Scootaloo and Sweetie have worked something out on the side because Sweetie’s been wheeling and dealing like a boss, which is what you do when you’re a ghoul and the Storyteller forgets you’re there.

Rarity is pissed they messed up her plot, and Scootaloo and Sweetie don’t get any XP political intrigue cutie marks.

So Applejack steps in with her character to try to rescue things. She’s playing the head of a small mining corporation (oooo… Black Spiral Dancer… didn’t know AJ had it in her.) Applejack manages to totally trip up Twilight, which is a much better plot and Rarity is mad she didn’t think of it.

...Okay, I’m having too much fun and getting off track here. What’s really going on is that AJ’s character is tossing out a situation a little too rough for Twilight to deal with as a fast talking business pony. Twilight is overwhelmed, and Rarity steps in, insisting that this isn’t the kind of pony Twilight will have to deal with.

Applejack points out that Twilight isn’t going to be able to handle ponies Rarity’s way because that isn’t Twilight. Then she bring the common sense:

“Whoa there, girl.” Applejack held up a hoof. “The press don’t hate you. They just don’t know you yet. They ain’t had a new princess since Cadance, and that was what, near enough twenty years ago? Most of these reporters were probably still in school back then. You don’t know how to deal with them, but they don’t know how to deal with you either. And so they’re just looking for every story they can write, no matter how bad it may make you look.”

So, have I ever mentioned that I love Applejack?

Anyway, she and Rarity start bickering, because that’s what Applejack and Rarity do. Applejack thinks that political maneuvering is too advanced for Twilight and she just needs to think before she talks, and give the press some kind of good story. Rarity thinks that political maneuvering is necessary for a princess and she’ll never win the respect of the nobility without it. Sweetie and Apple Bloom are trying to break them up, and AJ and Rarity to ignore them.

Then Twilight jumps in and insists that she’s going to have to figure out how to do this her way.

“I’m sure. I think I know what I have to do, now. But thank you, both of—” Twilight paused and regarded the three costumed fillies standing a little way off. “Thank you, all five of you. And anyway, even if it wasn’t quite right for me…” Twilight’s cheeks reddened in turn. “It was kinda fun.”

… so now there’s a weekly LARP in the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, which you have to admit would be an awesome LARP space.

Once again we’re at a chapter break and I’ve said nothing of value because I was having too much fun. I will accept suffering through this indignity as the price of reading this fic: it’s just too much fun.

Next chapter!

Okay, so Twilight is trying to decide between wearing the new dress Rarity made or her original Gala dress which Rarity altered for her. And I have to say:

The first was a brilliant gown in sunset colors. Crimson beadwork covered an elaborate interweaving of vermilion and yellow silks, all fading toward darker hues in the ruching that extended from the haunch through the train. Rarity had done amazing work, once again. The dress was dazzling, in every way fit for a princess. But it wasn’t her dress.

That’s how you do a description. Please note, other authors, how it takes two sentences. And thank you, Bradel, for providing me with this demonstration and not making me read 500 words describing a dress.

So Twilight is deciding, and Spinning Top shows up (See: GhostOfHeraclitus, Go read) with a hoof selected reporter so Twilight can give the press a good story just like Applejack said to, because Applejack is a genius who everypony should listen to.

Where were we?`

But despite three weeks of careful study – long nights spent at her desk, poring through page after page by candlelight – it was Applejack’s words that first popped into Twilight’s mind. Stop an’ think a couple seconds before you speak.

Oh, right, Applejack being a genius (not my fault, it’s in the text.)

Anyway, Twilight has been studying the entire Canterlot establishment, from the government to the press. So now she can interview like a boss. She’s even memorized the articles where she was misinterpreted. She gives a flawless interview, then goes to the Gala with Spinning Top and I could ship the hell out of it.

And she wears her original Gala dress.

The end.

I really have only good things to say about this. Bradel tends to me my kind of writer: fun, conversational (both in narrative voice and in the sense of being dialogue heavy,) and he writes stories that are at the same time very pony, but with enough real-world conflict to make for a good read. I’m not the kind of person to dig for things not to like.

This was a great fic, and you should check it out if you haven’t yet (which would be silly of you, because I told you to read it at the beginning.)

And I think we can all agree on the headline in the Equestrian press that would come out of this fic:

BRADEL SPEAKS ON THE STATE OF AFFAIRS IN EQUESTRIA: APPLEJACK WAS RIGHT

Thanks to my November subscribers: Ultiville, Jake R, Kiro Talon, Singularity Dream, bats, Merc the Jerk, nemopemba, diremane, First_Down, sopchoppy, jlm123hi, Bradel, Formerly Committed,
stormgnome, and JetstreamGW. If you want to see your name in links, or get other fabulous prizes, check out this post for information on how to subscribe: Subscription Info.

Report bookplayer · 1,278 views ·
Comments ( 28 )

Aw yeah, I think I'll just go ahead and put my head on the executioner's block and—

The fic must be under 10,000 words

Darn.

Huh, that general description sounds an awful lot like how I comment on a story if I have enough time.

Anyway, fun review (and a fun story too, I'd recommend it to anyone).

Well, I have always wondered if you would enjoy Awaken,Scootaloo or not. Feel free to snark away at it if you are so inclined.

Now I'm tempted to private message you a mature fic someone else wrote that's over 200k words long. Just to be contrary. Then I realized I don't have time for that because I'm now going to be going through about 328 blogposts looking for the other let's read reviews for the list. Curses! Foiled again. Now, back up to actually read what you thought of this wonderful story you covered this time.

I really want you to tear my relatively poor writing to shreds for the amusement of all, but it's too tall to ride.

This looks like a really fun idea. Since we have dramatically different values, I would be interested to see your thoughts on my only comedy, Long Live Sonata Dusk. It also has the happiest ending I've ever written, so there's that.

(Mind, it involves a character from Rainbow Rocks, so if that's not your thing, I understand.)

Pinkie is not there, Rarity and Applejack are there, and the CMC are LARPing (look it up, non-nerds.)

Wait, who? Where exactly do you think you're posting this?

These are fun (well, this one was; I'm here via Bradel's blog, so I haven't seen your earlier attempts at this). I do hope you keep doing fics I've already read, though -- or failing that, keep your recommendation at the top.

Every fiber of my body is crying out against self-promotion, and yet, I can't help but wonder if Rarijack absurd humor is up your alley.

2587673
Hey, I read that one!

I liked it pretty well

I'm half tempted to ask you to rip my story apart, but I dunno if you wanna do wacky porno on your new old blog thingie ;)

Middle of the night, and I couldn't help but laugh at embarrassing volumes through all of the chapter two summary.

Great fic, very fun blog post!

Oh man, if I wasn't already following you, I would have to correct that grave error imitatively. But since I am following you, that comment is just meaningless butter.

More on point, I now have another reviewer who's exploits I enjoy reading!

And onto the second point. You must realize that offering to review one of my stories is like offering to take a gambling addict to Vegas with their entire life savings in cash. It'll probably end badly, but man, what a ride.

Anyway, enough pointless build up. I ask if you might bestow a humble writer the honor of having his fic snarked at by a master.
Hello Pot, this is Kettle. I'm black is yours to do what you wish with it.


Shouldn't I be writing updates? I feel like I should....:trollestia:

2587681
Aww, cheers mate. :twilightsmile:

Decisions, decisions! :raritydespair:

Read about everyone's favorite file as she traverses the world of Equestria.zip.

A {Co/Ra/Alt} fic, it's quick, but sure to tickle the laughbox.:twilightsmile:

Twilight/Spinning Top

Twilight/Spinning Top

TWILIGHT/SPINNING TOP

Dammit bookplayer!:trollestia:

Also, when you made the reference to the ventrue I just about lost it.

I think some childhood romance has the potential to be quite riffable. Also it's one of my few stories without Pinkie at all--

11k words.

Damn.

Well, try this instead: it's less than 3k!

Solitary Confinement

Having finally read this myself, I have one question. What about Luna? She is a princess who appeared from nowhere a few years prior with no modern social graces. I really can't see her not putting her hoof in her mouth a large number of times, especially since the press is likely to initially approach her with suspicion or animosity.

How about some Brokeplot Mountain, with ponies? How Does Your Garden Grow

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

haha

oh man

I am so totally up for this

Curse your restrictions! I don't know what ships you like! >:E Now, do I go for old story that needs more love or new story that needs more views...

Eh, let's be practical. This'n, if you'd be so kind. I look forward to seeing what you have to say about all of these. :3

2587922
I think my thought, while writing it, was that (1) Luna's going to get a bit of a pass because everybody knows she's an ancient and terrible creature of the deep magics and not a newly ascended mortal (i.e. you don't give bad press to someone you think has an equal chance of writing a strongly worded letter to the editor or devouring your immortal soul). Also (2) Luna seemed to do a pretty good job staying out of the spotlight after she got back. You didn't hear about her at all between her return and her first Nightmare Night, and she managed to be almost completely absent during the changeling invasion of Canterlot. If anybody knows how to avoid the press, it's Luna.

2587584
That simplifies things quite a bit. Thank you.

I'll hop onto the bandwagon with my story "Epitaphs." It's not even 1,500 words long, too!

I suppose I'm feeling daring enough. :rainbowdetermined2:
I'd be honored if you took a look at Author Insert
a mere peccadillo at 2737 words and I think it meets most of your criteria. :twilightsmile:
Thanks! :pinkiesmile:

2589507
Ooh, books! You should totally do this one!

Mostly 'cause, now that he went and published "Collaborators", I think it's really amusing that "Baal Bunny" was running around commenting on your blog. I swear, part of this makes me want to make a Fimfic alt just so I can run around the site acting like a totally different person.

2625248
I found that:

Acting like a different person was really hard. I mean, I had to stop and retype nearly every comment I made because my little "salutation, colon, return, five spaces" has become absolutely automatic at this point. And I knew that'd give me away quicker'n Bad Horse's whole "stylo" thing. :eeyup:

Mike

Login or register to comment