My life right now... · 2:06am Oct 25th, 2014
Have you ever reached the point where you look at everything that's needed of you one day, do everything you can, but the next day the job only got bigger?
When that's been going on for so long, you no longer remember what it was like to go to bed knowing you did everything you needed to do?
When everything you try to do to make things better either does nothing or makes things worse?
When the one thing that helps you deal becomes the problem?
Like you're the camel, and just as you adjusted to the weight of the straw that broke your back, another weight is added, and your back breaks again? And again? And again?
How do you handle it? How do you get up in the morning, knowing nothing will ever change or get better?
Please...just...someone tell me I matter...
Yo
Dude
Your stories are fucking fantastic
And hey, you're pretty fucking amazing as well
Now brush that dirt off your shoulder and continue being awesome!
Because I know that nothing can be fixed if I don't. If you don't get up, there's no way for you to change anything. But, if you do, you have the opportunity to get out there and do something, and maybe, just maybe, things will get better. You can't just lie down and let yourself down because of some false beliefs. You matter. 594 people will agree with me. We're all here for you, because we need you. You matter. Okay?
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Thanks...both of you...
I don't know you, but I can see from your words that you put your all into what you do. That matters.
HEY! You're awesome and your stories are awesome!
2554207 If you need someone to talk to, my PM box is always open. Alright? We're here for you.
Dude, you matter! I love your stories dude! You are an awesome writer, and an awesome person! Never give up on life!
You do matter.
To me you are just a guy who writes fanfic I sometimes enjoy.
Still that does matter.
I am sure there are many others to whom you mater as well and in a far more significant way.
You need to focus on those people and narrow what truly matters to you down to your own health and survival and that of those you matter to who matter to you too.
Do you want happiness for yourself and others? Then you matter regardless of what anyone tells you or doesn't.
The universe is chaos. Life is order. We all fight uphill and create our own subjective significance. And really it's only the subjective that matters. Subjectivity is exclusive to animate beings.
You matter to me.
You write interesting stories!
I'd offer encouragement or support, but I'm still trying to find a reason to live.
...
Besides ponies, video games and anime that is. They are actually contributing to my questioning at this point.
Hey dude, you definitely matter to all those who follow you. These people love your work and especially love you for doing such great stories. I may not know you in person, but I can say that you definitely matter to me. Don't let some little thing bother you... I get to that point where the little things do break me down now and again. The only thing you can do, is brush it off, pick yourself back up and think about what will happen right now.
(Hopefully I said it the right way... I'm something awful at writing stuff like this... but I hope I wrote it right and made you feel better).
Edit: Wow... note to self... make sure to check spelling.
If you have Skype, add me on it. I have depression and have been suffering form it for near five years so I know what you're feeling. I know it is terribly cliche to say this but, it does get better, but that better starts with you. Getting out of a funk as it were is one of the hardest things to accomplish, but you're not alone in it, if you ever need to talk to someone, just send me a message. I'll make the time to listen and help best I can. Just don't think you're alone, and besides, sometimes venting to a stranger is better than to someone you know.
If you have Skype, add me on it (think I have me name on me profile) or hit me a pm when you need to talk.
Let me pass on to you something from one of the first authors I've read stories from in this site, a blog that kinda hit me right in the feels: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/288918/the-definition-of-worth
The Definition of Worth: In summary, it's not the number of views that matter, it's the impact that the stories have to the reader.
Look at your most greatest creation as of right now, Fortresshy. A story, a touching story that gives people the conditions of GLOMP temptations and "dawww" effects. Your other stories follow the same themes that mess with the heart a little, even if we know it's a rehash of the My Little Dashie genre. However dark and gory the world they end up, they some how give a little color to those they find.
Happy places, within borders of blood and shrapnel, enclosed in a glass box once you lean back a little. It just lights up the feels, you know? Gives a little, short happiness that we definitely appreaciate.
You've shared somethings good with us. You gave us a colorful picture made of words of black in white space, somethings that we sometimes forget when things just suck. You've shared us something sweet, maybe bittersweet depending on how you see it.
You may have pulled minds out of the gutter with your stories of all best ponies, whether knowingly or not, bringing a smile us. A little laugh here and there, two rival— two violent mercenaries coming together because of just one filly, and maybe bring together hundreds of bipedal apes from another dimension!
I've been saying 'maybe' a lot, implying things are uncertain. Truth is, it's true. This truth makes the world darker, no? But you don't have to go in a dark place blind. If you want certainty, look at the love around. What do you see? Do you believe in it?
Here's fact: You've gave a world of happy to hundreds of us, and it's time we did the same for you. After all, we are all friends here, in this world of digital webs. Here, magic of friendship is what it's all about.
Take our hand/hoof, and we'll show you. Your friends here have a lot to say.
Sincerely, your fellow grey squirrel who you played that one game of Wake Up. See this. What Do? with and who find you awesome, Grey Rebl ~~~~/)
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Thank you everyone. All this...it really helps.
This was a cry in the night, just desperation to know that I had an impact, that there was something worthwhile in what I do. And so soon after putting it out there, so much wonderful feedback...
It...it's...
Every little bit...every word helps me get back there...
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Meant it, if you ever need to talk then don't hesitate to talk to me.
2554348 This is one function of your blogs. If you have a problem, talk to your internet family.
you matter to me
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Thanks
2554348 You are welcome. If you ever need to talk, to anypony. Remember that we are here to listen and help.
cutearoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Link-Corgi.jpg
This once helped another author in your situation.
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Would work better with pants, so I couldn't see his wiener. *snrk*
Dude, you're a spiffy guy! Don't worry so much
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Thank you.
There really isn't much I can add that hasn't been said already. You're awesome and we're all here for you.
Tatsurou, there's something you should know about me. When it comes to fanfiction, I almost never post comments and suggestions. I try to match my interest in a work to the effort the writer put into it, as well as the quality of the work. Now, consider how many of your stories I've commented on at this point.
Take it from me. You matter.
Dont be sad I hate it when people iknow are sad cause then it makes me sad
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Thanks, all of you.
You are a person worth finding, worth knowing.
Dude... you and your works are awesome. There's a reason I have thirteen of your stories in my favorites (four here, three on fanfiction.net, and six on both sites). And I'm looking forward to seeing more of the nine that are still ongoing. (3 of which are here, 3 of which are on fanfiction.net, and 3 of which are on both sites.)
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
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Thanks.
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You're most welcome.
Never, EVER for a moment think that you don't matter. You my friend are a great writer, person and human being. When I hear the phrase "crossovers done right" you are the first person to come to my mind!
ck 'em! Never give up on yourself bro. Be the Tatsurou that you believe in. Always.
And if someone tells you otherwise, well, f
Now take all of that unwanted negative energy! Pulse it out of your heart, into your fists! AND THRUST THROUGH THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR SPIRIT!!!
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...Thanks.
You see? Everyone here confirms what I've been telling you all along, Tatsu. You're an awesome person, and don't ever feel otherwise. I'll Skype you more about it when you're more awake and online.
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That'd be now.
You kind writer are the reason why I write. I'm an average writer but, when I read stories like yours, it keeps me going forward into the unknown. I don't know if I'll ever put one of my stories on this site but, if I do, you'll be the one who inspired me.
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...thanks. That means a lot.
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It came straight from the heart and Once I give my Nightmare Night Story one more glance over, I'll submit it to the site. Like I said before, I was in a total writing slump but, something about your stories gave me the boost I so sorely needed.
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Once it's submitted and passed moderation, gimme a link.
Oh Tatsurou. I hope that whatever is causing this weight on you is swiftly removed. You were one of the people who helped me open up when I came here and I thank you for that. You, good sir, have a positive impact on lives.
I'm not going to blow off a depression of course. If writing helps cheer you up, then go for it. But if not, if we don't hear from you because you are out there having fun, then I shall be happy for you.
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Thanks...
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Here's to hoping you get better. Do you sleep enough?
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Sleep isn't the issue.
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Then I'll stop bringing up topics. Have you tried going jogging? People often underestimate what a positive effect that has on your mood and health.
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Going for walks has helped.
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Ah, but do try to get the good ol' blood pumping. Or try following a good show? While the newest one did not enamor me, this is the longest running show of all time.
Or Fate Zero? 7 legendary heroic spirits, summoned by 7 mages, fight for the Holy Grail which promises to fulfill one wish, even if it would rewrite history. Note that one of these mages is not above using sniper rifles and other "mundane" tactics on mages that think that invisibility works against infra-red visors.
*edit* This one would be a better video
Well, I am off to bed, and wish you a wonderful happy day.
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TV holds no real interest for me anymore.
How about a tabletop RPG? Seek a group playing nearby, or start one yourself. This weekend I am playing a demo of Anima Beyond Fantasy, Tv tropes page. It's set in the future so far away that we're back to a neo-classical age , and draws heavily from folklore, especially the Eastern, with a dash of anime.
In my experience, games are often so much fun that years later you'll still go "Hey, remember that time when we..."
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No one around here to play with.
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I thought so as well, googled tabletop games + the nearest big city or something like that, and found some kind of internet café. Plenty of these people play at home too, like in the apartment of one of the players. I even found brony players, and made an elven cleric worshipping the goddess of the sun, Celestia. Instead of fighting, she always tries to make everyone love each other, and if they refuse then she shoots sunbeams and rainbows.
Oh, and Celestia's main temple is in the South, so that when I go on pilgrimage, I can also go on a beach vacation.