Fanfic Reviews – Sad Edition · 12:30am Oct 23rd, 2014
I compiled a spreadsheet containing all my reviews fics and scores. In doing so, I discovered that last week’s “Philomeanie” was my 100th reviewed fic! While not as many as I wish I had done so far, at least it’s a milestone. Hopefully I can stop being lazy, and get to 200 before the year’s end.
So, have some reviews! Bunch of sad stories this time around, including:
A Night on Deck
The Dragon Who Would Not Sleep
A Bolder Note Than This
Finally at Peace
A Fragile Heart
Tired
It Spills Over
The Stormclouds Beneath Your Hooves
I Can Wait
As a reminder, scores are in a 0~10 scale, with 3 representing a mediocre fic, and 8 being where I can say I like a story.
Bad_Seed_72 – A Night on Deck – Character Drama
A lone wolf musician meets Prince Blueblood in a cruise
Leaving supposedly “dream situations” is hard. For someone on an enviable position, there is always the sense that many people would like to be there, and at least someone else isn’t directly because of you. This leads to a certain responsibility to do your best not only for your sake, but for the sake of all others. However, sometimes it is too late to identify that, wherever you got to, isn’t what you actually wanted. Explaining that to others, and even to yourself, can be terribly hard, and this fic deals very well with this conundrum.
It does that through an amazing usage of the theme of loneliness and great characterizations. All involved, including Prince Blueblood, are characters with complex motivations in their own right, and the way it is compassionate towards others’ situations is very precise. In a way, this is the perfect opposite of The Descendant’s “Tangled up in Blues”, depicting someone trying to stay away from others, instead of working hard to finally grow roots. I sincerely can’t distance both in my mind, and sadly this fic ends up suffering due to the comparison.
My main issue is the romance angle, which feels a little too convenient. Ironically, the fact that he is alone willingly makes his ideas about being alone sound empty. Yes, he is alone, and he misses companionship, but it makes the whole angle of freedom a little too weird. For all his rhetoric about not carrying anything, about being free, he willingly locks himself in place, all the while shifting some of the blame for negative reactions to his choice into others (For instance, she never said goodbye, despite that being a mutual action). This makes him a bit of a hypocrite, something the fic never seems to address.
Why it should be read: For a fic that can deal very well with a complex situation.
Stand out moment: I love the moment when he finally decides to go.
7.5/10
The Messenger – The Dragon Who Would Not Sleep – Sad
Spike refusing to go to sleep during his life
This is a fic that fails in multiple levels. It tries to keep a certain thematic integrity, but fails to properly integrate these outside specific passages, and while it also tried to show character growth, it fails to write the characters as changing. Ironically enough, Twilight's characterization fits canon well, but that she seems to behave the same way in all time periods, both as a child, as an adult, or centuries in the future. Spike is a little more immune to that, but even in the far future he is just too childlike, even more than he is in canon.
Contrivance, however, is the greatest issue, with things happening because they have to happen in order for the story to work. Like how Celestia, the wise, millennia old ruler of Equestria, leaves a child alone to care for a baby, a level of irresponsibility that cannot be explained other than that the story required a young Twilight caring alone for baby Spike. Or how Twilight decides to read a story because it would resonate thematically, or how Spike dies in the end because there needs to be tears, so many cheap tears. The overly purple language doesn't fit with the story at all, and only serves to heighten that sense of cheap melodrama. I appreciate what it was trying to do, but this is the type of story that needs to feel more natural in order to work.
Why it should be read: This is a sad fic that seems to reunite everything that makes sad fics not work.
Stand out moment: It starts with a great aside with a guard. It is easily my favorite scene, even if it doesn’t go anywhere, and fails to fit with the larger narrative.
1/10
The Headless Horsepony – A Bolder Note than This – Midlife Crisis
Derpy Hooves struggles with her choices in life.
This is a curious little fic, alternating deeply insightful scenes full of character, with others that just go through the paces on their way to the next scene. This is a story that could do with quite a bit of trimming, since the less interesting parts distract from the meat of the narrative. Also, I should note that the beginning is overly obtuse, and that there are multiple writing issues spread throughout the narrative.
Despite all that, the story still works, showing very well how low self-esteem can affect a person. I love the idea that, at the end of the day, Derpy is effectively hiding a part of her personality from her loved ones, while hedging around the core issue. Music was also very well used, not only in how it appears in the narrative, but also in the metaphors and the very construction/rhythm of the fic. It is one of those stories I wish I liked more than I do, but the combination of issues brought it down, and it didn’t really stick with me all that much.
Why it should be read: For a great story about low self-esteem.
Stand out moment:The two last paragraphs, which manages to work as a perfect summation of the fic, while still being significant to the overall narrative.
6.5/10
RainbowBob – Finally at Peace – Sad
Twilight wakes up one day, ready to cross the river Styx.
Somehow, this is my first time reading a RainbowBob fic. This one has is a clever concept, and despite the first scene being almost unbearably slow, it quickly becomes interesting. It manages to fit nicely both into MLP canon and greek mythology. Twilight’s back and forth with Charon was smart, and characterization was strong throughout. Also, it manages to give some gravitas to the whole thing, without falling into melodrama. However I still think it brushes over too many things, with lots of missed opportunities to explore the idea further. It also seems like the kind of thing that Twilight would explore further, and wouldn’t be ok with just letting it be. Still, it is a good story for what it is.
Why it should be read: For a nice fic about mortality.
Stand out moment: The way it ended, with alicorns “dying” but still being alive.
6/10
Newtaloo – A Fragile Heart – Bittersweet
On the background, a stallion waits for his date
This is an absolutely precious little story, one of those that grabs an insignificant detail of the show and expands very well upon it. I love the usage of Pinkie, how it didn’t feel the need to shoehorn shipping between the two, and in particular how both the stallion and the date are characterized only in the broadest strokes, but still manage to feel like complete and well defined characters. The feeling of passing time was great, and it managed to be melancholic and sad without falling into melodrama, while still retaining a sweet atmosphere. I outright loved it.
The only reason I am not giving this a perfect score is that, for all its great parts, it still feels a bit too superficial. I know this is a short story, and I appreciate this, but it still feels like a fragment of a slightly larger story. While I appreciate how much it manages to say with vagueness, I still feel like some deeper view of this obviously dysfunctional relationship would have gone a long way.
Why it should be read: For an absolutely precious story, full of heart and heartbreak.
Stand out moment: The fact that Pinkie does all she does, despite not even working in the place.
9.5/10
Ebon Mane – Tired – Bittersweet
Old Pinkie is tired, but still knows how to throw a party.
I feel very conflicted about this story. On one hand, I appreciate the intention, and I like the overall message, the way it portrays their friendships growing into their old age, despite all the hardships in life, and the difficulties inherent to that stage of life. However, it is essentially ruined for me due to its over dramatic narration.
That, sure, is a completely personal issue, and one I guess simply didn’t bother most people. However, for me that style made even the reveal that Fluttershy was dead seem not only obvious, but almost farcical. This is a story that would hit me much harder if it were more subtle, instead of insisting on implying so hard things like how Rainbow wasn’t able to fly, along with other little touches all over the place.
And then there are the things the fic seem to ignore, mainly Pinkie's state. The narration is full of passages like:
I'm an old friend of the family, and to the Apple family, family are friends and friends are family. It all nearly brings a tear to my eye. I’m a sucker for parties.
I can’t picture Pinkie saying this without being severely depressed. Which would be a fair point, a great one, but that seems to be brushed off in favor of a message of optimism. It is a tonal dissonance that doesn’t get the treatment it deserves, and I don’t think the story even realizes what it is doing in this regard.
I wanna be clear: I don’t hate this story. I don’t even dislike it. However, it is the kind of story that manages to do enough wrong to bring me out of it, which is fatal in a story that relies so heavily on emotional investment.
Why it should be read: For a great view of how growing old, for all its challenges, isn’t the end of friendship.
Stand out moment:Rarity’s scene is fantastic.
4.5/10
Scramblers;Shadows – The Stormclouds Beneath Your Hooves – Character Drama
An Older Rainbow Dash tries to prove that she can still do everything.
This is very bleak. It is perfectly in character for a Rainbow Dash that for all her years forgot nothing, and didn’t learn anything. It isn’t about growing up, because despite being old, she is barely adult. It is more about denial, ignoring friendly advice and the reality of life, and the dangers of stubbornness.
However, for some reason, as bleak as it is, it feels like is written as a comedy. Not that it is funny or anything, but it reads like a comedy. It also is a tad too repetitive, and could have been quite a fair bit shorter. Also, it bothers me that Twilight never tried to reach a compromise between grounding RD and leaving her to fly free.
For comparison with Tired, as another story about growing old, I feel it is interesting that I enjoyed this one a lot more, despite feeling it is technically not as good.
Why it should be read: For the interesting depiction of Rainbow Dash as a stubborn old mare.
Stand out moment: I like the misdirection between the parts, as if Rainbow is actually battling her own emotions regarding her situation.
7/10
ambion – It Spills Over – Character Drama
Berry Punch struggles with alcoholism.
This fic is functionally perfect. It is beautiful, it is touching, it is compassionate, it is realistic. It treats addiction, and living with addiction, with respect and directly. It doesn’t try to romanticize it, or anything similar, but instead shows a character waking up one day, and realizing how broken her life had become.
Characterization is extremely strong. Berry Punch is a pathetic figure, torn between what she is, what she becomes, and what she wants to be. Berry Pinch, her daughter, is a child that had to grow too fast, not abused but neglected, and is very well realized as a child. And finally we have Spike, in a phenomenal supporting role, depicted as an individual on his own right away from the show’s cast. In the story, he is the one that better understands Berry, having to battle his base instincts, or risk becoming a monster, which works simultaneously as factual and metaphorical.
Imagery is another very strong point. For instance, look at this passage:
Berry Punch went out the back way. She always did, but this time she was stopped by the view. Clear sky and clear ice made it a day for snowblind. Everything glittered with a magic of its own.
Except the dark patch of ice under her window. Against the white of winter the glass and its spilled, solid innards seemed almost black and traced with deep red—a tiny private pond of a hell frozen over. Tendons bunching up, Berry Punch put her hoof over the patch and pushed. The first cracks spread as she added her weight to it. She kicked it through the crunchy frost and cried out in pain. The patch of frozen drink went deeper than she’d realized. All the way down, in fact. Growling and smarting with the hurt, she jumped atop the icy patch and felt the satisfaction of cracks tearing through the dark ice.
All else was beautiful. Icicles turned trees to kaleidoscopes of sunlight and even the most humble bits of windblown detritus sparkled as much as any treasured diamond could hope to.
That hits all the right notes for me: It is superficially beautiful, it is evocative, it is symbolic, and it fits in the overall narrative. The story is full of these little scenes, and they add up perfectly when you consider the big picture. The ending in fact is beautiful and natural, specially in how it acknowledges how what happened is only the first step of a life long struggle.
Of course there are issues, like some character speaking in a too telly way, or some parts that drag beyond what is strictly necessary, but not one of these managed to bother me. I also imagine some people not judging this as very pony, but I feel OK with how it uses the characters and themes. All in all, go read this.
Why it should be read: For one of the most touching, compassionate, and realistic depictions of addiction you can find.
Stand out moment: I am too impressed by the entire thing to pick a favourite.
10/10
Eakin – I Can Wait – Sad
Rainbow Dash waits for Applejack
I have no taste for melodrama, but this fic hits home like a punch in the gut. It does little to obscure what is actually going on from the start, and never directly states what is happening, but the mounting denial creates such an oppressive, relentless atmosphere of depression, that you can’t help figuring everything out. Applejack is dead. There is nothing to be done about it.
This isn’t a fic about good things. It isn’t about hope, overcoming grief, or becoming a better person after dark times. This is about clinging to those last few scraps of a ridiculous dream, that seems to quickly dissolve beneath you, because reality can’t be ignored forever, until you finally crash into the ground. It is a story that starts bad, and then things get worse forever. It is ugly and horrible and I love it.
My only real issue is that the first third is very weak – which might be on purpose, like it is hitting the worst pony fic cliches on purpose. However, after Pinkie finally shows up, it hits every single note as well as anything ever could. Other than the obvious sad things, there isn’t much for this fic, but it succeeds so overwhelmingly at what it tries to do that I can’t really complain too much.
Why it should be read: For a very well executed straight-up sadfic.
Stand out moment: The ending is absolutely crushing.
8.5/10
That spreadsheet of yours = It seems I've found a few decent stories to add to my RIL...
That's it, join the spreadsheet empire. Find your life sorting itself into neat rows and boxes like the rest of us.
2550327 I am already feeling bad about the lack of links. Does this ever stop?
Hmm... I think I've missed a few of your links. I've only got 100 reviews from you on the big master review list, and that's including all of these. Time to compare spreadsheets to see what I missed.
2550341
Nooope. I've got some links and now I'm feeling bad about lack of tags. Or links to author pages. Or links to the stories themselves. It never stops.
Typo in your list. East Pony Orphan in the Unicorn Court. Starts with 'An' not 'And'.
Ha! Tracked down the few reviews you did that I hadn't linked to yet. Looks like you got them all, except for the most recent review post of yours.
Spread-sheet! Spread-sheet! :D
I think this is the first time I see you giving a 10/10 to a story. I guess I'll check it out -- I enjoy stories that manage to be sad without yelling "NOW GO AND FUCKING CRY!" at the reader.
Thanks for reviewing my fic!