Oct
20th
2014
Monday Needs Sinnin - A Punderful Request · 8:47pm Oct 20th, 2014
As the worst possible sin against nature is the Pun, and some of the people who follow me are twisted aberations against nature (some?), I thought it only fair to wonder out loud:
What is the worst possible MLP-FIM Pun you can think of for a story description and title?
For example:
Description: The Pie family rock farm is in trouble and only Pinkie Pie and the Elemnts of Harmony can save it from being taken over by a big conglomarate farm, but will they be able to find the traitor in her own family before it is too late?
Title: Game of Stones
Go nuts in the comments. Stay germane, but try to keep it PG rated at wurst.
Rarity is making a new line of sweaters, and she needs a very specific fabric that's only made and sold in Appleoosa. But nopony will be able to sell anything until a pack of marauding, unfashionable bandits is cleared out of the orchard.
Rarity and Sherrif Silverstar star in...
The Wood, the Plaid, and the Snuggly
Horse horse: The horsing of the horsified horse McHorsehorse
...am i doing it rite?
While coming to terms with the fact that their son is a brony and has a bunch of Equestria Girls merchandise, a parent becomes a fan of one of the characters as well.
Title: My Son's Set of Shimmers
Though that might be too meta to really work as a fanfic.
Rarity must use her long suppressed powers of deduction and Little Grey Cells to help Princess Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor locate a traitor in the Crystal Empire high command.
Title: Thinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy.
Like so?
This is, and likely shall remain, my best attempt.
A mysterious mare travels the land, calming the dangerous beasts, keeping the peace between the wild creatures and the civilized ponies. But, danger is coming, for this miracle mare's voice... is running out.
The Hoarse Whisperer.
I think that the Pies would need the help of a steel gray pony named Hardpan. Hematite, well muscled stallion with his slightly insane wizard friend Greywacke. Both have given up the sedimentary lifestyle for a life of aventurine. Over the years they have gotten into and out of more schist than anyone they know.
Some of their stories are .
“The Search for the Ruby Alicorn or the Alicorundum”.*
“The tale of the Never Empty Chalice. or Quartz and Quartz of Whatever You Want.”
and the never to be forgotten. “ Basalt Flow and the empty vug.”
This last story was the one that fulfilled their apatite for aventurine, when Basalt tried to gypsum miners out of their claim on a gold mine. When they found out about the plan they couldn't talc it and fluorite in his face to defend the miners rights.
with apologies to RealityCheck
I regret Nothing
Customer Service is just a regular teenage pony working a boring salon job as a mane and tail stylist save up a few bits for college. She realises one of her regular clients is a high-ranking member of the shadowy Grey Phoenix Group—Equestria's most wanted organisation—and immediately goes into hiding. The race is on between the Royal Equestrian Protected Ponies Service and the Grey Phoenix Group to find her before the other does. Now two plucky REPPS agents must outfight and out-manoeuvre their griffon mercenary counterparts to protect Customer Service while unravelling a conspiracy that may reach into the upper echelons of the Canterlot elite...
Next summer, the political thriller that rocked Equestria to its foundation will be revealed:
Tell-Tale Tail Till Tale
Estee is way ahead of you.
An all-too-common slander against the greatest and noblest of arts, raised to its current heinous ubiquity by those who know not of how they err! Nay, the true worst possible sin is the botched pun, taking that which is good and pure and twisting it into a cruel mockery of all that is right while the viewer is helpless to do aught but watch in torment. Truly it is the clearest illustration known to man of the concept that the greatest evil is not primordial wrongness (insofar as such a thing can exist) but rather the perversion of the holy.
Now go! Go forth, and spread the word to the glory-deprived masses! Let us usher in a new age of wonder and knowledge, one in which the tragically misguided shall be shown the true way, Pundits will be free to spread light and life across the world, and all shall be blessed with the touch of the divine forevermore!
I'd contribute, but gee, alla Gee-org's puns got dug out by 2545920. There's just no gems left.
Though I guess you could make that into a story of its own.
The Great Terrain Robbery
Pinkie spends Hearths Warming night at Zecora's house after she gets snowed in by a surprise blizzard. The two exchange witty banter and amusing anecdotes, discussing their respective foalhoods, their journeys to Ponyville, and the impact they have had on all their friends.
Pinkie and Zecora star in the classic Christmas feel-good feature film:
It's a Punderful Life
2546933
My friend, while I appreciate the chryso prase I feel that you take to much for granite. As you stand in the debris field of Punworld I am confident that you could cobble something together. Then after an evening well spent sit down to a nice desert of puddingstone.
2547242 Very gneiss.
2546933 No, that would be:
A mysterious mare in a red hat is stealing mountains out of Equestria and nopony knows how or why, just that at each flattened site where once stood a mighty towing hunk of granite, there is only a small slip of paper with a clue. Can the Elements of Harmony track down this criminal and bring her to justice, or is Canterlot doomed to become a plains city? Find out in:
Carmane SanDiacolt and the Great Terrain Robbery
2547242
These puns are absolute schist. We boulder stop before we mica Gerog silica to his stomach. Oh who am I kidding? Of quartz we will geode and continue to talc rocks and rock related puns! It is sedimentary!
2548292
and then there were three
WAIT! I think I got this.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140317163136/mlp/images/1/10/Maud_Pie_ID_S4E18.png
2547659
2548292
We just have to remember that no matter how bad this gets it is no ones fault, normal or otherwise. Even if we go on strike slip in a few good ones for they will be uplifting who could ask for moh. We just have to remember that the thrust is geologic and who knows it might just metamorph into something else.
Sunset Shimmer boned a hydra... And she was ready to do it again.
(Nobody could compete with Georg, when it comes to puns, so I stole one of his stories for this.)
Title: Sunset in the Everfree