I'm alive. I'm coming back. I feel good. · 2:48pm Oct 17th, 2014
Hey guys!
So if you're reading this, for some crazy reason you have the attention span of a zen monk, because you still remember I exist even though I haven't updated in months.
So what's been going on for all those months?
Well in my last blog post I mentioned that I was working, working out, and on a journey of self-betterment. I was putting myself through a summer of hell to improve myself physically and mentally.
Am I done yet? No. Have I reached my first goal? YES!
I told myself I wouldn't slow down or falter on my fitness plan until I reached 2 of 3 goals: being 200 lbs, under 20% body fat, or being able to do 10 pull-ups/chin-ups in a row. I have officially met the first 2 as of this morning! Yay! I'm technically not fat anymore! Or at least, am considered a medically healthy weight.
"So you'll get back to writing 2 updates a week now right?"
Wrong, enthusiastic internet stranger! Not because I don't love you guys, but because I have a few new challenges to the form arriving in my life.
1: I'm keeping up with my fitness regime. I know that if I quit, everything I've worked so fucking hard for will go right down the drain.
2: As also mentioned in the previous blog-post, I am not just quitting fat, I'm quitting all of neckbear-ism (I love you hairy fucks, it's just not my style, ja feel?) through all sorts of processes.
I revamped my wardrobe, easy. I lost weight, not so easy, but it's done. So what's next? Social skills. Oh fuck me, this has been the hardest. I never thought I had social anxiety disorder (SAD), until I actually tried being social beyond my comfort zone. If you have SAD and want a rush of adrenalin forget roller coasters try holding a conversation with a complete stranger for at least 5 minutes. This is college though, and I need to get out there and meet people! So what have I been doing? Excessive self-induced exposure and cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Guys, it sucks, don't get me wrong. It's horribly anxiety producing, you have to force yourself to do things you'd rather not, talk to people you'd rather not, and constantly self-monitor, while reminding yourself that no-one else is scrutinizing you the way you think they are. But it works. Slowly but surely, I've gotten out of my shell, and it's beautiful out here. My stress has gone down, I met new people, made new friends, got laid a few times (self-five), and just see the world as this new, friendlier place! But still, I do have to force myself to go and do things that make me uncomfortable, it's just taking less effort now, and makes me less anxious.
3: For the first time, I'm going to be a big brother! No my mother's not pregnant, the other big bro/little bro thing. No not that one where I'm a good person who does that charity, the other other one. The fraternity one...where I force him to drink...well not really force, just...highly encourage. I know that just sounds like fun, and not a lot of responsibility, and that's what I thought too, but it turns out, I was wrong. I forgot how much my big bro had to do for me to help me through my 'associate' *cough*pledge*cough* process and that's another responsibility I have on my plate now.
4: Last but not least, I have to apply for grad school soon, which is fucking terrifying and stressful and difficult. Lots of papers need to be written, lots of applications need to be filled out, upon tons and tons of essays and questions all for the sole purpose of determining if I've got enough of a brain to even try to get educated for my test to see if I'm even allowed to try my desired future career. And it's hard. This is the first level of the tournament and the pressure's already huge. So, that.
So what does this big wall of text mean?
TL;DR I'm back, but I'm still a busy, busy guy. I'm going to try and update Clockwork and No Bucks before the end of the month, and update at least monthly, hopefully bi-weekly after that. Thanks for sticking around.
P.S. I realize I brag a LOT in this post, and I want you guys to know; this isn't me saying I am better than, or look down on anyone. These were all goals I set for myself and am proud of myself for achieving, and I don't expect anybody else to share all or any of these goals. This is me letting it all out, patting myself on the back, reminding myself that I'm doing well and not to give up. This is an update on my life for my readers who are kind enough to care, and you, dear reader, are awesome. I hope you find success in whatever endeavor you're on, and I hope I get to read all about it :)
Booyeah! Class changed into a Zen Monk! Got me some extra move speed and better DPS now! Bitches better watch out!
Hey dude, guess what? You should try and become a Navy SEAL after you get out of college. You'd lose a lot of weight, and gain a lot of muscle.