Fic recs, September 29th! · 6:15pm Sep 29th, 2014
SIGNAL BOOST! Don’t miss Pascoite’s Duet in the Folk Style, a Big Macintosh/Octavia romance story that I have had the privilege to read through fully. :) I can tell you it’s pretty great, not just because Pascoite is a good writer, but because he’s eschewed a lot of shipping contrivances to give us a really solid, emotional story with a few surprises. Full review once it’s complete!
Equestria After Dark is looking for blog help ‘cause they’ve been kinda slow lately. If you’re into clopfics, go help them out!
Speaking of which, I know damn well I read Fluffershy by Friendly Uncle (I’ve got it faved, even), but as far as I can tell, I never reviewed it. Was it from before I was doing reviews? Did I somehow miss a journal while entering them into my review doc? D: There’s precedent for me doing shit like that, but god, I hope not. Anyway, I was going through Hero541’s gallery, adding his stuff to my audiobook list and found his reading of it. I apparently liked it, so there you go!
And speaking of readings, you guys remember Do Not Serve These Ponies, which is absolutely one of my favorite comedies ever? DeftFunk has started a reading of it! You know this gon’ be gud. :D
And while I’m on the topic of thinking out loud and front-loading this journal because I just started an audiobook of Off the Edge of the Map and will be on it for a couple days, I think I just revealed my full opinion on #savetree even to myself: I’m glad it’s gone. That stupid library never EVER made sense, and now it’s dead and I don’t have to wonder about it anymore. Thank fucking Celestia.
Okay, reviews now.
H: 0 R: 1 C: 4 V: 0 N: 2
The Mistress’ Slave by Scratch Fever
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clopfic
Celestia commissions Rarity for a new Gala dress, and of course this somehow turns into BDSM. Wanderer D sent this my way, calling it “quality clop from an unknown author”, and indeed, the author wrote this story and seems to have disappeared since. But is it really “quality clop”, in my estimation? Well, the writing is considerably better than most clopfics, minus a typo here or there. (Could do without the Faust references, though!) That said, I found myself again and again thinking, “Just who in the hell are these ponies?” Celestia especially hardly ever sounds like herself; maybe it’s just the subject matter, but at many points, various characters felt out of character. Of course, I find the whole situation ridiculous, Celestia getting horny and exercising some of her kinks just as Rarity happens to show up. The author does at least know what makes people with those kinks enjoy them, at least (I only know by virtue of following certain artists on Tumblr). And there’s some crafty magic use at play. (I mean, what good is tying yourself up with magic if you can then use that same magic to get right out?) So in terms of being good clop, yeah, this author understands their subject matter well, and someone actually into this would probably enjoy the piece. As for being a good story, ehhhhh, not so much. Rare is the clopfic that can overcome my inherent view of written sex as silly, at any rate.
Recommended If You’re Into That Kind of Thing
Diamonds Are a Mare’s Best Friend by CalculusFilly
Reading by Doctor Cobra
Mature: Sex
Genre: Comedy
Twilight masturbates with a diamond dildo she got from Rarity; Pinkie has sex with her for some reason; Rainbow Dash watches. I’m glad this story is tagged as a comedy, because it’s completely ridiculous and I was wondering if it was just me. And I had to wonder too at my reactions to some of the things in this story. Twilight and Rarity talking about dildos? Funniest thing ever. Twilight holding up a dildo and shouting “Science!”? Head shake. A couple things bothered me -- well just one really -- and that’s the first scene. I think it’s being played for laughs, but Twilight’s eminent disdain for Spike didn’t really come off as the comedic sort. (I’ve done the same kind of thing myself, this just lacked that feeling.) Also, those really conscientious about consent will likely find Pinkie’s role troubling. Personally, I just found “Pinkie as sex goddess” hard to swallow. The ending is pretty funny, at least. Yeah, this is a decent comedy, all things considered, if you don’t mind random pony sex in the middle of your funny.
Recommended More for the Comedy Than the Clop
Three Solos, One Cadence by InquisitorM
Reading by S Ninja
Genre: Adventure
This is another one from the writeoffs: Cadence, Discord and Fluttershy are tasked by Princess Luna to find an ancient something that’s lost somewhere below the ice. Meanwhile, we get flashbacks to the time of King Sombra’s reign, and the one mare brave or foolish enough to help escaped slaves cross through the treacherous ice and snow of the northern wastes. Like a lot of Scott’s work, this one relies quite a bit on subtlety to get its point across, though it has a lot of other things going for it as well. Discord’s continual snarking at Cadence is amusing as heck if only because I hate Cadence still. Frostbite’s scenes are tense and filled with excellent imagery. The world-building is engrossing and the reason why they can’t just teleport to the something intriguing. This is, all-in-all, a really solid fic and I think just about anyone will be able to enjoy it.
Recommended
Makin’ Bakin’ by Caerdwyn
Genre: Recipe-in-Action
Rarity plans to bake an apple-cinnamon tart and invites a skeptical Applejack along to judge the results. I read this because I was browsing Egophiliac’s DA and saw the cover art, not that that’s ever a good reason to read a story, mind. So, yeah, you could legitimately follow this story to make the recipe yourself. It works as a cooking show! I can’t say I’ve ever seen that before. Granted, if you’re not too keen on the details of baking, this might be a bit of a slog. Nothing particularly happens, though it serves as good early-show Rarijack friendshipping. The writing is decent, if plagued with the occasional dreaded narrative ellipsis. I was slightly bugged when, early on, the two just stand around debating the merits of traditional vs. modern cooking techniques. It really brought the whole thing to a standstill. Still, if you like fluff, this will satisfy. I mean, I don’t, and I still enjoyed it.
Recommended If You Like Slice of Life
The Role of a Father He Never Deserved by Lucaro
Reading by Doom Pie
Genre: Dark
Shortly after their defeat in Canterlot, a starving changeling discovers a new way to find love. The main premise of this story, meant to be the first of a series, is really great: at the end, the main character exhorts other changelings to find “bad” ponies, replace them, and then become better versions of them. Unfortunately, the approach the author takes is questionable at best. We start with the changeling coming upon a pony in the woods. This in itself is a problem, because he says the battle is still “fresh in his mind”; why would he then willfully approach a pony in any sort of condition? Not only that, but the pony is currently in the throes of a self-inflicted heroin overdose. Is that a thing? Has that ever happened? I'm not just asking about Equestria, either. A helpful suicide note informs the changeling that this pony hates his family, spent their savings on drugs, and is blaming his wife for his suicide. So the changeling decides to finish the job and take over this pony’s life. He goes to the address on the envelope and everything is hunky-dory, the end. Even if you can deal with the idea of ponies using drugs or a changeling murdering a pony with his bare hooves, this still has very uneasy takes on suicide and domestic abuse, plus a lot of macho grandstanding. (I don’t like reading too much into an author’s intentions on issues like this, but I couldn’t help feel there was some element of misguided heroic wish-fulfillment at play. Also, I cringed when the changeling notes his new body is well-endowed.) I really just don’t know what this story is trying to say.
Not Recommended
Flash Sentry Blocks Twilight Sparkle’s Progress in Every Conceivable Situation by Protopony350
Genre: Trollfic
In my Rainbow Rocks review, I gave out a story idea, and Protopony took up the challenge. True to his word, less than twelve hours later, it’s published and I am gonna read it like I said I would! Let me gift you with some choice excerpts:
Dear Princess Twilight. Help please Celestia is all ice cream -Sunset Shimmer
"Discory told me to 'Put a Jello to her progress!'" Said Flash
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!" Scream Twilight
Flash was really charming when he wasn't a floor, so they went out to lunch.
This is really great. It’s everything I wanted and everything I didn't know I needed. Proto is honestly the second coming of Argembarger. (Which has to make you wonder about us Ohioans…) If you appreciate nonsense and need some mockery of Rainbow Rocks (note that this story doesn’t really work if you haven’t seen the movie!), then please check this out.
Recommended If You Like Weird Stuff
Principal Celestia Has Ridiculously Long Legs by Stitchwolf
Genre: Equestria Girls
I saw this in the “popular” sidebar and just couldn’t pass it up, because I’m in that kind of mood, it would seem. Unfortunately, it didn’t hold up to my expectations. All the humor is in looking at the title and chapter title and going, “This is gonna be good!” The rest is… pretty much just a straightforward exploration of the medical side-effects of Principal Celestia having a weird character model. It’s bizarrely straightforward, minus one or two lines of dialogue meant to wink-wink at Equestria. Despite the tag, there is no comedy in this; it’s actually a tad depressing. The most interesting thing is the hints at what the Nightmare Moon incident might have looked like in Humania, but really, I regret having read this. At least it wasn’t that long.
Not Recommended
Oh god, he did it
Oh god why
I honestly usually get a chuckle or two out of your fic recs.
... I need that chuckle.
The mention of the MacTavia pairing annoys me to know end. One of those "I have a great idea and it'll work so wonderfully and nevermind some jerk just beat me to it *crumbles up paper and throws it into trash can*" situations. I'll probably read it once it's finished, but goddammit.
You monster.
That's actually one of the first stories I ever faved on the site. And one of the first clopfics I read.
Double monster.
2493644
You say this like it's a new thing. :V
IfyouknowwhatImean.
All joking aside, I'm very interested in that fic about the thing in the ice, and if I have time (like that'll happen) I plan to read the flash sentry fic, because it sounds hilarious.
I may read the clop comedy thing, though since I don't usually read clop, I'm not really sure on that one.
Either way, thanks for doing a review on these stories. I'm always interested in a good read.
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If you don't normally read clop, don't go out of your way for that one. :B
ffs >.<