Archmage spoilers · 6:10pm Sep 23rd, 2014
So, here they are. The spoilers for Archmage.
Note: This is technically the end for both Square One and Beyond the Crystal Mirror. Both stories were tied together, in a fashion, so I'll swap back and forth between them where the points are congruent. It's a little complicated, and I'm kind of exhausted, so I'll try my best to make it all come together in the end.
Warning: These are spoilers, so if you want to hold out hope that I'll finish both stories in the future, please exit this page and don't return.
That in mind, here's how this will go. Archmage: Square One developments will take place in bold SO text like this:
SO-
And inversely, Archmage: Beyond the Crystal Mirror points will look like this:
CM-
The Spoiler:
SO- From where we are in the story, Star goes past the barriers and into the sequestered Timberwolf Territories with Basil by her side. Together, the two of them begin surveying and researching the magic that Twilight could not decipher. Sadly, none of it comes to fruition. Upon confronting the apex of this ancient magic, Star is coerced into releasing her true potential, laying waste to the Timberwolf Territories and a fair portion of both the Crystal Kingdom and the Griffon Territories. Basil escapes before the blast and helps shield Trottingham. Star passes out.
CM- Twilight visits a few worlds, but soon grows bored of the Crystal Mirror, having seen many of the horrors and wonders it has. She begins neglecting her trips through the mirror in favor of spending more time with Luna and Celestia, but there are things happening in the other worlds. The Night from the Saddle Arabian Nights arc discovers a way to visit, not the root world, but other worlds. She begins sharing the story of Twilight's betrayal in her own world, and the respective nights in their worlds begin taking vengeance on their own Twilights for the root world's error. Amassing an army of several deities, the Saddle Arabian night begins to look for a way through to the root world. Twilight visits one world on a whim, only to discover her counterpart had been murdered by her own deity, spurring Luna and Celestia into a vengeful fury. Destroying that world, Twilight flees through the mirror to warn the others of what has happened. At that time, the collective nights break through the mirror.
SO- Star awakes in Canterlot, under strict watch in the dungeons. Her act of destruction sparked war with the Griffons, who are plowing through Equestrian defenses on their way to Canterlot. Celestia, Twilight, and Luna begin torturing Star (mentally and physically) in an attempt to get answers about her destructive capability. On the verge of breaking, Star is broken out by none other than Spike. Spike shares the story of a war long, long ago that planted a seed of madness in Twilight and the other princesses, and he takes Star and her friends to the library from the original Archmage, to show them Equestria's true past.
CM- The coalition of nights (along with several other prominent villains) break through the mirror and lay siege to the Crystal Empire. Twilight and everyone else escapes with the help of Shining Armor, who sacrifices himself to save the crystal ponies and his loved ones. With the help of Spike, the princesses steal the mirror back, but not until the nights have roused an army large enough to destroy the root world. As a resolution, Twilight, Celestia, Cadance, and Luna go through the mirror themselves to recruit their very own army of Equestrian heroes and counterparts. Leading a force of multiple clones of themselves, Twilight begins the war for the root world.
SO- Spike possesses the Crystal Mirror and the Elements of Harmony in the desert library, and has kept watch over them for thousands of years, since this war detailed in the last spoiler. He hints at a dark history for Equestria, and begins showing Star and her counterparts what happened by taking them back in time to the massive inter-world war.
CM- The war rages in Saddle Arabia, where the collective 'evil' forces have gathered. Twilight and her 'good' forces engage them fiercely, but a madness begins to grip the princesses by way of the hundreds of deities corrupting their minds. Using brutal tactics and showing no mercy for forces, friend or foe, Twilight and the other princesses eventually destroy the other world's nights, along with their gathered forces. But the madness has taken hold of them. Spike intervenes by stealing both the mirror and the Elements of Harmony, and retreating to the nearby library. Activating the invocation of force that Bolt had maintained from the original Archmage, Spike 'locks' the mirror, freezing everything and everyone who had travelled to the root world. Twilight and the other princesses level Saddle Arabia and everything that had come through the mirror,reducing the entire desert to sand and ash. Erecting a barrier to lock the rest of the world away from Saddle Arabia, Cadance takes up solitary watch of the library, in an attempt to steal the mirror and the Elements of Harmony back from Spike. Celestia, Twilight, and Luna return to Canterlot, their madness in-check, but still present and ready to burst forth at any moment.
SO- Star and her friends go back in time with Spike to witness the war in it's entirety, and are briefly spotted by the root world Twilight. She thinks nothing of it, thanks to the intense battles everywhere, but that is enough to frighten Star. They remain only long enough to see the princess' madness and the careless tactics they use against their own friends and the enemies before returning to the present. Spike informs Star and her friends that the Elements of Harmony are, indeed, a failsafe for immortal beings. Using them, the six bearers can steal immortality from anything and anyone, effectively destroying them or making them vulnerable. Spike recommends using the elements against Twilight and the other Princesses, to free them from the madness that threatens all of Equestria.
CM- Twilight and the other Princesses try to live normally, but the weight of their crimes are wearing on them. As the millenniums pass, they make attempts on the library and Spike, but are foiled by the invocation of force alongside Spike's formidable powers.
SO- Star and her friends become the 'new' elements of harmony, but they are not their respective elements. Star, while powerful, isn't a very good unicorn in the long-run. Breeze lied about her lineage to get into the weather team, and has been cheating on Lotus for years. Lotus turns out to be rather greedy with her business. Golden Nugget has a secret 'mean streak' against anypony opposing the Apple Family's agenda. Basil isn't actually Basil, but a refugee from the Apple Family for having murdered his ex-husband and those responsible for lying to him. Cobalt has never had much reason to laugh since losing his Cutie Mark. Thus, their connection to the Elements of Harmony is flawed, and ultimately breaks the elements. The resulting rupture of the only failsafe against immortal beings ends up destroying everything BUT those immortal beings.
The corruption from the alternate world's nights was part of the magic that had been destroyed by the fallout of the Elements of Harmony, restoring the princesses to their rightful state of mind, albeit alone in a barren space of nothingness. The day and night leave to try their hands at creating a new, better world with what they had learned from this endeavor. The rest of the immortals go with them, save Cadance, Twilight, Luna, and Celestia. Alone, the four princesses pool their power to try their own hand at making another world.
A literal 'Square One' reset.
TL;DR-
-The night from Saddle Arabian Nights arc fucks shit up for everypony.
-Twilight recruits alternates of herself and the other princesses from hundreds of different worlds to combat them
-During the war, the corruption of the hundreds of deities drives Twilight and the princesses insane, causing them to harm their own forces, and destroy otherwise innocent parties
-Spike notices the insanity and steals the Crystal Mirror along with the Elements of Harmony. He locks the mirror with his magic, freezing all projections of the other worlds in the Root World. Twilight and the princesses, in their madness, destroy all the alternates and all of Saddle Arabia, locking it away from the world
-Spike keeps the mirror and the elements in the Valley of Knowledge, using Bolt's invocation of force along with his own magic to defend them from Cadance
-Thousands of years later, through his magic, Spike notices Star and her friends, and decides they're as best as any candidates for the Elements of Harmony. He shows all six of them (Star, Breeze, Lotus, Gold, Basil, Cobalt) the TRUE history of Equestria, which had been re-written in the thousands of years since the war.
-Trying to use the elements ends up destroying them, and in turn, the world. Only immortal beings are left alive. All of them aside from the princesses leave to try creation elsewhere, while Celestia and her counterparts create their own world. Which, coincidentally, was supposed to be our earth.
Sorry I dropped the ball here. But look at that. Writing that would have quadrupled the length of the Archmage-verse. I couldn't possibly have written all that out satisfactorily. I doubt anyone could have.
Still, there it is. That was the proposed end to the Archmage-verse.
Note: I'm creating two blog entries, one to tag each of the cancelled sequels. Dunno if this violates TOS or not, but I can't tag multiple stories anymore.
*Braces for incoming hate*
Hey would you look at that I called it. Archmage was gonna be shit from start to finish.
2477411
Hey would you look at that I called it.
You're still a massive shitlord.
2477411
Obvious friend troll is obvious. Plz, I maene no h8 to u syr.
Still, nice arc Loyal, for all that I looked at.
2477421
GMP and I felt good about it. Fell through in the 'delivering' department.
Because I am as much a massive shitlord as
2477411 this guy.
2477421 I guess everyone has finally caught on to me. Also I wasn't really trolling, I've had issues with what there is of archmage and with where Loyal told me it was going.
2477425
Not even worried about the delivery. It's actually the hardest part of writing a novel or any kind of high word count story.
2477433
Ik you're not troll. Something that just gets done between friends pretty much. Keep him in line MB. :)
2477438 I can assure you he is most certainly not the one in our relationship who needs to be kept in line.
Unique? Yes.
Do I like it? Not neccessarily.
I can see how it all ties together (with the exception of one thing which I will point out in a little bit), but it all feels almost... unnecessary. Sort of like you wanted to destroy a world rather than tell a story, I think. I will be honest, I don't think I would have liked Square One or Crystal Mirror with how they would have progressed, simply because it all results in one big, stupid war that feels... I dunno. I just can't say I like it.
As for what I feel doesn't fit: Star. Suddenly she has insane destructive abilities, then she's tortured and then she's forgotten. What the heck was supposed to happen to her? Did she die when they used the Elements, or what? Tied to this is the whole torture thing. Just why the heck did they even torture her? I mean, she did something pretty bad, yeah, but it was an accident (as far as I could understand), but Twilight? One of the very few ponies whom Star could call a friend, torturing her? I'm sorry, but I don't buy that. Not even with Celestia or Luna. The only way I think you could make that pass was with that whole Insanity/Madness Thing, but it didn't seem to have appeared at that point.
Finally, I'd like to say that while I openly admit to not liking how it would turn out one bit (I would have likely quit halfway through all this stuff. Possibly) I can see that there has been put a bit of thought into this and I can appreciate the work put into just planning it. But still... Not the kind of thing I'd want to read.
On a final note (this time I mean it <.<), if you aren't too pissed with my and my comment yet, could you answer a question I've had for quite a while but never asked? Just a 3-line summary (or something equally short) of what Twilight would have done in a world where she became a Goddess and the prophecy wasn't there.
2477477
See? Feedback like this was what I was expecting had I followed through and written this. Hence the reason I bailed.
Nothing much, tbh. Probably just ruled alongside the day and the night. Fostered peace. Lots of cool magic shit.
2477485
Loyal, it's not that I would have disliked how you pulled it off. Heck, I have no idea what kind of "mistakes" you were talking about in Archmage itself. What I dislike is solely what happens. I don't like stories where everything just blows up and is reduced to dust. I don't like when things go to hell and then stay down there, never to return to the surface.
I can honestly say that I like your writing, your style, and how you weave a story. But no matter how good an author is, it does little for the reader who dislikes the themes and going-ons. Dan Brown, for example. Genius writer, but I have no interest in reading any of his stuff because it just isn't the type of things I like to read.
2477501
And that's the feedback I hate the most. It's not 'you're a bad author and I hate your style.' That I can handle.
It's:
'You fucked up and I dislike this thing you've put a lot of time and thought into.'
That's the proverbial kick in the gut.
2477508
That's not what I mean. What I like and don't like to read has nothing to do with your fucking up or not. It's your story, not mine. You've planned for it since the beginning, right? If you have, then you haven't fucked up. You just followed your own plans.
Anywho, please don't think that I think you fucked up. I don't. Just some stories takes an unexpected turn.
Cool wish you finished but I'm glad to at least have gave us an ending.
It's sad to see the story end this way, but I wouldn't go so far as saying is the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING
I look forward to seeing what you will do next now that you are moving on from this story set.
Man, reading all you had planned, I can totally understand why you bailed. It looks like you'd be writing a Lord of the Rings-length epic, and there were a bunch of things in your layout that wouldn't have made a damn bit of sense in the moment, until the very end when everything clicks together. Twilight helping to torture Star, for example. I loved Archmage, but I can honestly say there's a good chance I would have bailed there for too much OOC. For curiosity's sake, do you have any idea how you would have even approached that scene?
2479269
More of a psychological torture where Twilight pretends to be Goldy or Lotus and begs her to tell what she knows.
2479284 That makes a lot more sense than what I was imagining. After all their bonding, I have a hard time imagining Twilight could go so far as to actually torture Star, even if she does a bit of crazy in her.
Ok, wow. I am not sure I get everything, but that sounds as if it would have been REALLY dark... Not at all what I would have expected. That's not bad, it's just not what I personally like.
Well, I'm still sad that you cancelled the stories, but I'm less sad now. Looks like things were going to get very dark, which I'm not interested in reading. And I can see why you don't feel that you would've been able to finish it. That's a lot of story...