I'll just get right to it...
I'm really, really, really, REALLY sorry, you guys.
As anyone whose written a story on this site knows, that blasted "Publish" button is immediately beside its more often used cousin, the "Edit" button.
Also as anyone who has written a story knows, idiots like me who choose to write and edit their works on this site have a certain chance of accidentally clicking the wrong damned button. It's an ever-present danger... made more deadly by the fact that, no matter how incredibly quickly you click "Unpublish", the site still counts it as if you updated.
So, now you look an asshole who's trying to game the feature box with his shenanigans, when, in reality, you're just a clumsy idiot with what appears to be shoddy motor control. A clumsy idiot who is fervently hoping he doesn't get a "you done fucked up, prepare your anus" message from one of the site mods.
Like I said: REALLY sorry, you guys.
Anyway... if my account's still around tomorrow, look forward to the real update then (as I promised). If not... I'll... uhhh... think of something.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find the nearest convenient corner, so I can curl up and cry my tears of shame in relative peace.
Seriously, you guys.