Ten Days to Hawtness · 2:10am Sep 18th, 2014

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In only ten days, His Royal Hawtness returns to the big screen. I'm sure I speak for all Bronies when I say I'm super-excited to see Flash Sentry again.

I still remember what happened the first time the Hawtness appeared. There I was in the theater, hanging with my bros, when all of a sudden, he walked in. The room was instantly electrified. Young girls gazed in wide-eyed wonder. Old women gasped. Young women screamed. And all the men turned reflective and pondered their masculine inadequacies.

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And yet so profound is the love of the Hawtness that all those women, who were of course instantly and madly in love with Flash Sentry as soon as they saw him, thereby found themselves loving their husbands and families more rather than less as a result. Vows were renewed. Flagging relationships experienced new vigor. Cases of impotence and male-pattern baldness being instantly cured were widely reported.

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What will happen this time? How will audiences react when the most masculine character ever to appear in an animated film once again holds his beloved pony trembling in his gentle yet muscular arms? Only time will tell. We can say one thing for certain: Flash Sentry will appear in this movie both as a stallion and as a man, because this is simply too much masculinity to be contained in a single body.

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