MLP Rule 34 Update: September 2014 / All You Need is Love · 1:08am Sep 11th, 2014
[Disclaimer: While this blog post discusses Rule 34 statistics, it doesn't contain explicit imagery, embedded links to pornographic material or excessive coarse language.]
It's the tenth of the month, so you know what that means. That's right! It's time for another in-depth analysis of clop! 
My previous Rule 34 blog posts are available at the following links.
August 2012 / At the rate things are going...
September 2012 / Famous Bronies
October 2012 / Digimon
November 2012 / Equestrian elections
December 2012 / Top 11 Hottest Animated Women
January 2013 / General porn statistics
February 2013 / Touhou review
March 2013 / Season three wrap up
April 2013 / Idolm@ster
May 2013 / OC woes
June 2013 / Ribald Rivalries
July 2013 / A major announcement
August 2013 / Rule 34 Origins
September 2013 / Equestria Girls Review
October 2013 / Three years of MLP:FIM
November 2013 / Season Three Episode Retrospective
December 2013 / Twilight Sparkle's Rival
January 2014 / Passing the Bechdel Test
February 2014 / CP Atone
March 2014 / Loli and Stitch
April 2014 / The Binding of Wonder Woman
May 2014 / Cybersix Showdown
June 2014 / Sailor Moon and he Celestial Sorority
July 2014 / Misunderstood Monsters
August 2014 / Monogamous Malaise
Without further ado, here's the latest data from Rule34.paheal.net!
As of September 10, 2014, here's the state of Rule 34:
Pokemon still holds the lead with 83,235 images. 2,031 new explicit images were added during August, giving Pokemon a 2.5% increase in porn from last month.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is in second place with 58,907 images. 1,542 new explicit images were added during August, giving My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic a 2.6% increase in porn from last month.
Touhou is in third place with 51,065 images. 552 new explicit images were added during August, giving Touhou a 1% increase in porn from last month.
DC Comics is in fourth place with 24,787 images. 151 new explicit images were added during August, giving DC Comics a 0.6% increase in porn from last month.
Street Fighter is in fifth place with 19,199 images. 250 new explicit images were added during August, giving Street Fighter a 1.3% increase in porn from last month.
Naruto is in sixth place with 18,836 images. 260 new explicit images were added during August, giving Naruto a 1.3% increase in porn from last month.
Marvel Comics is in seventh place with 17,917 images. 224 new explicit images were added during August, giving Marvel Comics a 1.2% increase in porn from last month.
Sonic Team is in eighth place with 17,519 images. 275 new explicit images were added during August, giving Sonic Team a 1.5% increase in porn from last month.
Digimon is in ninth place with 13,224 images. 139 new explicit images were added during August, giving Digimon a 1% increase in porn from last month.
Super Mario Bros is in tenth place with 12,198 images. 278 new explicit images were added during August, giving Super Mario Bros a 2.3% increase in porn from last month.
Pokemon dominated the porn production in August by generating nearly 500 more images than My Little Pony. Part of this surge in Poke-porn is due to several news articles which popped up last month. Nintendo announced that the Pokemon Trading Card Game will soon be available to play on iPads.
Mega Slowbro was recently revealed as one of the new evolutions in Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby.
A Pokemon fighting game is being developed by Bandai Namco's Tekken team. It looks really cool.
Currently, It's only being released in Japanese arcades and there hasn't been an announcement of it being ported to consoles. The game won't be finished until sometime in 2015, so it's be a while before we see the final product.
Now that we've gone over the monthly update for the top ten porn producers, it's time to analyze the latest data regarding Rule 34 images for the mane six.
As of September 10, 2014, here's the state of Rule 34 for the mane six, according to Rule34.paheal.net:
Twilight Sparkle
has 8,674 images. 195 explicit images were added during August, giving her a 2.2% increase from last month.
Rainbow Dash
has 7,333 images. 165 explicit images were added during August, giving her a 2.3% increase from last month.
Fluttershy
has 6,879 images. 159 explicit images were added during August, giving her a 2.3% increase from last month.
Pinkie Pie
has 6,302 images. 152 explicit images were added during August, giving her a 2.4% increase from last month.
Rarity
has 5,704 images. 103 explicit images were added during August, giving her a 1.8% increase from last month.
Applejack
has 5,581 images. 180 explicit images were added during August, giving her a 3.3% increase from last month.
In a rare coincidence, Pinkie Pie produced the exact same amount of porn images as she did in the previous update. August was a good month for Applejack. She garnered the highest amount of new porn after Twilight Sparkle.
Special thanks to Infinion, who made these amazing graphs of the data I collected.
To start off with, here's the master chart of the top ten Rule 34 producers.
This chart represents more than three years' worth of Rule 34 data. In order to more closely examine the numbers, Infinion has broken the data into more manageable semi-annual charts.
Oct. 2010 - Mar. 2011.
Apr. - Sept. 2011.
Oct. 2011 - Mar. 2012.
Apr. - Sept. 2012.
Oct. 2012 - Mar. 2013.
Apr. - Sept. 2013.
Oct. 2013 - Mar. 2014.
Which brings us to September 2014.
To get an idea of how far My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has come since its premiere, here's a chart highlighting the monthly numerical and percentage increase of MLP porn.
For those who desire a more consolidated look at the raw data, here's the numbers for the top ten porn producers, as well as their monthly increase.
Now let's take a look at the Rule 34 stats for the mane six. Here's their master chart.
In order to discover what these numbers mean, we'll need to delve deeper. In order to do that, we'll break down the data into semi-annual chunks.
Oct. 2010 - Mar. 2011.
Apr. - Sept. 2011.
Oct. 2011 - Mar. 2012.
Apr. - Sept. 2012.
Oct. 2012 - Mar. 2013.
Apr. - Sept. 2013.
Oct. 2013 - Mar. 2014.
Which brings us to September 2014.
For those who desire a more consolidated look at the raw data, here's the numbers for the mane six, as well as their monthly increase
In my previous Rule 34 update, I discussed the woes of wedlock.
"From an evolutionary standpoint, the only unnatural marriage is a monogamous one."
I tried to stress that I wasn't disparaging those who choose to marry.
"Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's good for us. Tooth decay and body odor are natural, but that doesn't mean we should embrace them by rejecting "unnatural" things like showers and brushing our teeth."
In spite of this, I'm afraid that my message last month was seen as overly hostile towards the concept of marriage and fidelity.
Rest assured, I don't look as marriage as a "man-made prison." People all over the world are happily married. I don't loathe lovers who are faithful to one another, but I do take issue with all the expense associated with marriage and romance. Don't get me wrong. A person's wedding day should be special, but nothing can justify the ways in which marriage has been commercialized beyond belief. Here's an example of what to expect when planning a wedding. [Video contains some NSFW language.]
I hate the rampant avarice and mindless consumerism which has been inexorably linked with expressing affection. And this isn't about being a cheapskate, either. Anyone can go out and buy a Valentine's Day card, but it takes real thought and consideration to present one's feelings in a hand-written letter. The truly meaningful gifts are the ones which take real time and effort; not just a checkbook. I want to peel back the layers of commercialized coagulation and get to the heart of romance. In order to better understand the subject, I'm going to analyze the origins behind some of the oldest romance-related rituals, starting with Valentine's Day.
[I realize this topic would be a little more timely in February. Just consider this analysis five months early.]
Valentine's Day ceased to be meaningful to me once I left grade school. Paper bags taped to the fronts of desks in order to receive cards with licensed-characters printed on them and a mini roll of red and pink lifesavers candies was the zenith of my Valentine's Day celebration. 
My apathy towards this amorous occasion stemmed from lack of knowledge. I knew what people were supposed to do on February 14th, but I didn't know why. "Isn't there anyone who can tell me what Valentine's Day is really all about?"
Much like monogamy, the origins of Valentine's Day can be traced back to ancient Rome. From February 13-15th, the Romans celebrated the Feast of Lupercalia. The festival was in honor of Lupa, the she-wolf who suckled the infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Lupercalia literally means "Wolf Festival." Each year, the festivities would begin with priests known as Luperci ritualistically sacrificing two male goats and a male dog. The sacrificial feast followed, after which the Luperci would cut long strips of skin from the sacrificial animals in order to form whips. The Luperci would then dress themselves in animal skins and run around whipping anyone who came near them. Girls and young women would line up in the streets to receive lashes from these whips. A blow from the thong was supposed to ensure fertility, prevent sterility in women and ease the pains of childbirth.
A portion of William Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar takes place during the Lupercalia. Special mention is made of the fertility whipping, as Mark Anthony is ordered by Caesar to strike his wife Calpurnia, in the hope that she will be able to conceive:
"Forget not in your speed, Antonius,
To touch Calphurnia, for our elders say
The barren, touched in this holy chase,
Shake off their sterile curse."
- Julius Caesar, Act 1, Scene 2
So how did Lupercalia eventually transition into Valentine's Day? There were at least three early Christian saints named Valentine who were killed for their beliefs, but the one the holiday is likely named after was a Roman priest who was martyred in 269 AD under Emperor Claudius II. 
According to legend, Saint Valentine was executed because he performed clandestine Christian wedding ceremonies for soldiers who were forbidden to marry. The Roman Emperor Claudius II supposedly forbade marriage in order to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. However, this story is a romanticized myth. Last month I discussed how the Roman leaders banned polygamy specifically so their soldiers could marry. Like other emperors, Claudius II knew how important monogamous relationships were to the grown and stability of society.
In reality, Saint Valentine of Rome was persecuted as a Christian and is believed to have been personally interrogated by Emperor Claudius II. Valentine was sentenced to death after refusing to denounce Christianity and convert to paganism. Before his execution, Valentine is rumored to have performed a miracle by healing Julia, the blind daughter of his jailer Asterius. The jailer's family were later converted to Christianity. On the evening before his execution, Valentine is reported to have written the first "Valentine card" addressed to the daughter of his jailer and signed it "your Valentine." The expression "From your Valentine" was later adopted by modern Valentine letters. Another legend about Saint Valentine is that he would cut hearts from red parchment and give them to soldiers and persecuted Christians in order to remind them of their vows and God's love. This is a possible origin of the widespread use of hearts on St. Valentine's Day. Saint Valentine also supposedly wore a purple amethyst ring. Because of the association with Saint Valentine, amethyst has become the birthstone of February, and it's thought to attract love.
Most of Valentine's exploits originate from a fictionalized version of history. All we know for certain is that Valentine was a Christian Saint who was martyred in 269 AD. The facts have been overshadowed by romantic embellishment. In 498 AD, Pope Gelasius I outlawed pagan rituals in favor of the State-sponsored Christian religion. The martyrdom of Valentine was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of Saint Valentine's Day on February 14th. So little is known about Saint Valentine that in 1969 his name was removed from the liturgical General Roman Calendar, which indicates the dates of celebrations of saints. In spite of this, the Catholic Church continues to recognize Valentine as a saint. His skull is exhibited in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Rome.
As an aside, did you know that there's a town near Rome which is named in honor of Saint Valentine? Each November, the citizens of San Valentino hosts the "Festival of the Cuckolds," which pays tribute to cuckolded men by parading them through the streets. A caravan of allegorical floats parade down main street; each one filled with costumed actors who recite satirical compositions about the whole sordid affair of infidelity. Don't feel too bad for the cuckolds, though. This festival is a chance for them to announce to the world that they are unattached and looking for a partner who will be more faithful than their previous one. Each year, a fair number of cuckolds find new love during the festival.
During last month's Rule 34 update, I detailed the common components of Chaucer's cuckolding farces. What many may be unaware of is that the writings of Chaucer contain the first reference to Valentine's Day. Prior to Chaucer, there were no links between Saint Valentine and romantic love. Here's an excerpt from Chaucer's "Parliament of Fowls," which was written in 1381 and contains the first romantic reference to Valentine's Day:
"There sat a queen who was more lovely by far than any other creature, just as the summer sun outshines the stars. This noble goddess Nature sat enthroned in a pavilion she had wrought of branches upon a flowered hill atop a meadow. And there was not any bird born of love that was not ready in her presence to hear her and receive her judgment. For this was Saint Valentine’s Day, when all the birds of every kind that men can imagine come to choose their mates."
- Parliament of Fowls; loosely translated from Old English]
Chaucer's descriptions of Nature and birds choosing their mates seems more appropriate as a celebration of Spring, rather than a holiday set in mid-February. This is likely the case, since it's believed that Chaucer wasn't writing about Saint Valentine of Rome. Instead, Chaucer likely wrote about the Maytime celebration of a Genoese Saint, who was also named Valentine. Chaucer's talk of flowered hills and lovebirds were appropriate for a holiday set in May. This association was short-lived however, as the poem attributed to the local Springtime festival honoring Saint Valentine of Genoa was confused with the more widely-known Catholic holiday of Valentine's Day. Building upon the works of Chaucer, William Shakespeare further emphasized Valentine's Day as a time for love and romance.
"Tomorrow is Saint Valentine’s day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine."
- Hamlet, Act 4, Scene 5
Chaucer and Shakespeare contributed to the romanticization of Valentine's Day, and it gained popularity throughout Europe as a result.
During my research I found several horribly racist and otherwise inappropriate Valentine's Day cards.
Some of those Valentine's are as recent as the 1950's. It's amazing to think how far we've come in such a relatively short time.
Now that we've covered the origins of Valentine's Day, let's move on to a lesser known symbol of love: The apple.
In many cultures throughout the world, the apple represents love, fertility and abundance. The apple is often used to represent the fruit which tempted Adam and Eve. When split in half, the apple looks like a vagina, which is a symbol of feminine love and beauty. 
The ancient Greeks revered the apple as a symbol of love and sexual desires. A symbol associated with the Greek Goddess Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love. It was believed that if a gentleman threw or tossed an apple to a maiden, he was confessing his love to her. If she in turn caught the apple, or at least attempted to, she was reciprocating her love to him.
The apple was also considered to bring abundance and fertility. It was customary on the wedding night for the bride to eat an apple, ensuring sexual desire, fertility to birth children and abundance within the marriage.
Now to discuss a more well-known romantic icon: Cupid. 
The god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. In Greek mythology, Cupid was known as Eros and was the son of Aphrodite. When the Greek myths were co-opted by the Romans, they changed Eros's name to Cupid and made him the son of Venus, the goddess of love. The Romans depicted Cupid as an innocent, chubby child who sometimes had a mischievous streak.
To the Greeks, Cupid wasn't a precocious cherub. He was Eros; a powerful god to be feared and venerated. His arrow burned with the unquenchable fires of lust and madness. Eros had the power to drive men and women to commit acts of rape, murder and suicide.
In both ancient and modern art, Cupid is often depicted with wings. For the Romans, this symbolized the flightiness of youth. Cupid is also sometimes depicted blindfolded because love is blind. Shakespeare included a reference to Cupid in A Midsummer Night's Dream.
"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
Nor hath love's mind of any judgement taste;
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste.
And therefore is love said to be a child
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled."
- A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 1, Scene 1
Cupid is occasionally shown riding a dolphin. Dolphins were often portrayed in antiquity as friendly to humans, and the dolphin itself was used to represent affection. Cupid riding a dolphin was so iconic, that the Romans put it on their money!
Valentine's Day has become stagnant. It's the same tired symbols each year. They say that everything old is new again. We need to delve into antiquity in order to keep this holiday fresh. How about making dolphins the new official mascots of Valentine's Day? I'm not the first person to think of this.
Thanks again for reading to the end of the article! I hope everyone learned something new about Valentine's Day. I know I did! Please feel free to discuss this month's topics in the comments. I'm curious to see if anyone reading this celebrates Valentine's Day. I'll be back October 10th with another Rule 34 update. Next month will mark four years of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! Until then, so long and thanks for all the fish!
You're not going to post again until October?
Fucking love Eros. He is among my top reasons on why I believe Romans ruined Greek Mythology.
My name ain't Adam or Eve, but I'd eat AJ's apple with greed.
AJ is best pony.
That Greek Cupid is a bad ass. And way more accurate in the way love drives people to do such insane things that Love itself truly is a thing to fear. For the more one loves the greater the pain when one is scorn.
Great use of Shakespeare. All I've ever read was Macbeth, and that was because of school. Romeo and Juliet I suppose as well but who hasn't read that one?
Yeah, you pretty much covered my main gripes and feels of modern day marriage and valentines. As a kid I dreamed of how amazing my marriage would be with my lover. As an adult, all you see is a price tag and how the size and quality of your choice in rings is how much or little you care for your life partner.
I very much admit to being a romantic, and would die to have a traditional wedding on some mountain top exchanging gifts, tokens of affection that means a lot to us or heirlooms, with placing some sort of symbol of our union upon our persons to each other in some way that wasn't some K Jewelers crap. But have some deeper symbolic meaning then attaching one's marriage to being all about materialistic wealth.
The only thing Valentine's day has for me anymore is candy.
2445075
At least not a Rule 34 update. I hope to have story updates posted between now and then.
I really want those last two valentines that you listed as offensive
The only thing disappointing about this post was that it wasn't as long as last month's.
Anyway, great stuff, and very interesting history to boot! Definitely going to have to keep all of that in mind come February. Also, for fun, have a song about a certain historical love machine:
2445099
Y'know, oddly enough I can't help but crack a smile of recognition at that sentiment. Even back then, it caused fans grief when what amounted to their favorite media franchise changed hands. It just goes to show that while some things change, others stay the same. ^_^
I interpreted the College Humor video as saying that the happiest moments of your life are ruined by others trying to either vicariously suck out your joy at your expense, or people who would don't want to be their, and want YOU to repay them in exchange.
Although CH did put out another video that I feel covers both some of the expense and emptiness surrounding wedding culture.
2445645
yes
2445508
Sorry. I actually had more material I wanted to add about marriage rituals which I was unable to include due to time constraints. I may revisit this topic some other time. As for next month, though, I already have ideas about what to discuss.
Glad you enjoyed the update!
A very nice analysis, nice work on Pinkie Pie hitting that magic double number. I for one am excited for the Pokemon Trading Card Game coming to the iPad, I've collected Pokemon cards since they first came out, I think I was about 10 years old at the time.
I've collected every set since the basic set first released, I have EVERY card (not including promotional cards). I'm actually searching around the web for some EX cards to complete the Furious Fists XY expansion at the moment. Over the past year I've saved up all the codes(one per booster pack), I think it's close to 200 codes, hopefully they include QR scanning in the app.
But I'm ranting on now, Pokemon cards aren't the only thing I collect, I also have a collection of Australian Coins... bu that doesn't matter. I'm going off-topic again.
It's great to see this analysis.
I'm sure I asked this last update but received no reply: why is there always something following the Rule 34 stuff that doesn't look like it should feature in the same blog and can be its own blog?
That pic of Applejack whipping her mouth... I came.
Fuck this, how can be her below Twilight, or Pinkie?
2448541
Sorry for not getting back to you last month. From the first Rule 34 post, I felt that more was required than just the data, so I tried to also include topics of discussion. They usually involve discussing some aspect of porn or the erotic elements of other subjects.
2451297 Yeah I can see why you would do that now, 'cause once the updates to the data reach their end it's really short so with all the extra stuff it, uh... well you'd know what I'm trying to say, wouldn't you?
Today is a good day to be the AJ Aficionado.
Thank you MLP artist for giving the Goddess of the Orchard her due.
Well I suppose I could complain about Twilight Sparkle having more images, but I'm not going to push my luck and suffer the wrath of the gods.
Well now... nice deconstruction of materialism and the history of things such as Valentines and Cupid.
But, as the cliché goes, "Where was the love?" It was a cold, analytical report on ancient cultures and rituals.
Looks like it's time to dust off the ol' note app and write up a journal on love.
...
If this 100+ degree heat wave lets up... ever.
(If this seems disrespectful, delete it. When I heard your topic was love I was honestly expecting something different.)