Oh God, I'm Becoming Old Now · 12:03am Aug 30th, 2014
I recently got my laptop back after I lost the charger and abandoned it in my closet and then couldn't find it and once I did I realized I still didn't have a working charger so I went to Best Buy to buy one and then cry as they removed $80 from my wallet and one of my kidneys and then couldn't find my laptop and then I recently found it right now (the other one which is my wife's and which has a keyboard too small for me to use right) and I still can't find my other one and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah—
Wow, how does Tumblr do it? I had to catch my breath after typing all of that. Bless ye punctuation, for thou art holy.
Anywhores, I finally hit up fimfic and look to the front page. Now, for starters, fimfic mobile doesn't let you see what's featured. Fimfic mobile doesn't tell you about new PM's or makes some of them get read when you haven't even checked them out. Fimfic mobile fucks you up when you comment. Fimfic mobile forces you to click the fave button multiple times on a story to truly fave it. Fimfic mobile is a bastion of hate and frustration that deserves the eternal suffering of the deepest pit Hell has available.
Other than all that, I looked to the feature box. And boy, oh boy, what a sight it was. Much earlier I had turned mature off around two or three days ago for my personal laptop so I wouldn't have to see... the mature. But for some reason now it was on. Now I could see everything. And from that single glance, my eyes... they... they...
The only difference is that mine were dancing a jig around my skull to the tune of MC Hammer.
There was a whole lotta clop. Now, this ain't the worst thing in the world. One of those clopfics I helped a buddy of mine out with and it turned out well enough. Another is HiE second-person clop featuring Gilda. Okay, uh... not bad. I guess? Another was a friend of mine who wrote about Twilight getting dicked by changeling OC. It was... well, not to be mean, but not one of my friend's better works. Yeeeeeeeeeah. Oh, and then we have anthro clop. Now, this in itself ain't bad. I'm just not the biggest fan. But then it gets better.
Featured 8/27/2014. Thanks for making all the effort put into this worth it~.
I lied. Now, I already made a blog about what I think of "thanks for the featured" segments of a description. I don't like them. However, I can understand why some people do, and as long as it's at the bottom of the description I could really care less. But this was shoved right at the top and booooooooooy howdy did that leave such a pleasant taste in my mouth. I wonder if it could possibly be any worse.
Fetish tag Warning
contains F/F, Anthro, rape turned consensual, magic futa dicks, BDSM under/overtones, all around really rough sex, LOTS of biting, and a attempt at a plot. You have been warned.
Ahahahaha—fuck me it does. Rape turned consensual shoots any attempt at a plot you could possibly conceive of. Oh, and thanks again for the warning about the angry sex part, not like the title Angry, Passionate, Hate Sex could clue me in. Truly, low and behold, I found the one Trixie raping Twilight clopfic that has all the BDSM under/over/inner/sideways/up your ass tones I could ever possibly need. Yaaaaaay for me!
...
Ah, fuck it. Fimfic has made me jaded. Cruel. Critical. Calculating. Something else that starts with a C. I mean, shit, I used to not even care. Look at my earlier stories. They're perfect example of that. But now I've changed, but the site hasn't. Not one bit...
Some people say the site got worse. Hell, para even has a chart or something about the "Ages of Fimfic" or something like that. For me, the site hasn't changed at all. Foalcon in the box one day, new Twilestia fic the next, and then you complete the formula with some HiE or Spike harem clopfic and call it a day. Sure, the situation can change. We had the League of Humans Acting Villainous group a while back (and by god it just won't die like I hoped and prayed) that flooded the featured box with crudely made HiE and crossovers. We get a new verse every once in a while that changes things, but it's never permanent. It never sticks. Fimfic shall forever remained Status Quo is God, and that god is cruel and perverted.
Now, all I can think of is how much I've changed. Sometimes the site just frustrates me of what gets featured. Then I realize the hypocrisy of that statement, since I'm hella sure people loathe me or my writing or even both at this point. I don't blame them.
Accurate gif is accurate.
Bad stuff in the featured box, idiotic verses filled with some of the worst writing I can see, unoriginal stuff flying through the door every day. It... well, it just gets tiring. I'dunno, man, it just makes ya think...
And after thinking I realize this is a site for fanfiction about cartoon ponies and I need to really get my head outta the gutter.
Sure, I may have changed and have gotten—dare I say—mature. Well, at least writing wise... kinda. I no longer feel compelled to write the clop. Not sure why. Motivation is shot in the foot. Same for silly oneshots with no story attached. The habit just died, and now I guess I'm burying it. Though, for clopfics, not too sure it might have died yet. Erotica can be a compelling art form when taken into consideration of either the romantic of comedic departments. I like me some comedy clop more-so than romance "feelsy" clop. Probably because dick jokes are my earliest memories of enjoyment while girls used to be icky and nasty and ewwwwwwwww!
Wow, just realized how inconsistent this blog post is. That's what I get for rambling like a rainbow sponge. So, uh...
tl;dr I got discouraged from the site because of featured box, kinda got over it to realize I matured, kinda lost clopfic motivation, need to write longer and more compelling oneshots (comedy or otherwise). Oh, and I might review featured stories now, just to went. Already did it once and I'm feeling pretty good. Could be fun and a good way to release stress.
Now, for the finisher. Who among you are jaded? Who among you have been changed by this site and look back in shame or pity for the old you's? Who among you wish the latest 'Rainbow Raises Scootaloo' fic to be featured could be different this time? Actually, that could just be me...
Excellent job once again, Bob. You left them confused as hell. Just as planned...
Indeed. Very good job.
Anywho... I suppose I'm a little bit not jaded, but I've been around the block a few times and there isn't much that surprises me anymore. Disgusts, yes. Surprise, no.
I'd be interested in seeing you do reviews, Bob. You've got an interesting way of looking at things.
Personally I've just found that there's less good stuff to read. Although that could just be because I read all of the fantastic, super popular fics as soon as I started.
Honestly I shouldn't even be here for this discussion I've only been here for a year.
2412532
I look at things through the cynical glasses of a person who makes fun of glasses-wearing neeeeeeeeeerds!
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I've read that
fantasticgoodwell done, super popular fics as well. It did not go well.I set out to change bat ponies from sniviling, blood drinking clop freaks.
And then I learned nobody cared.
2412543
You're saying you're Homer? Ohmai.
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Welcome to fimfic.
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Welcome to the Simpsons.
Eh, when I see bad stuff in the feature box, I just think, "Man, I should write something so I can get rid of this."
And then I don't. Or I do, sometimes, and sometimes it even works. Mostly not, though. Probably because I keep violating bats' first law of writing.
I dunno. Maybe we all just need to do what you do and promote more fanfics by word of mouth. I've only really whored out a couple of them properly. Clearly I need to do it with good, new stories more often.
Also, The Apple and The Tree amused me. Its huge number of downvotes is probably because it amused me, but still, at least it wasn't the usual feature box garbage. Though, alas, it did not stay in the feature box for very long.
2412551
*whistles*
I've never seen a blogpost so accurately display my emotions. I really hate the tripe that ends up on the featured box. :/
I'm not jaded per say, I've just become used to all the crappy cloppy one-shots that get featured on here. It's not about quality Bobby, it's about what's popular with the plebs. Anthro/R63 Selfcest clopfics happen to be in right now~
That being said, I did have a wonderful idea for a one shot involving AJ becoming horribly obese from eating too many apple fritters. If anyone cares enough to give their opinion on this idea...well that'd be just swell!
I've come to accept that the vast majority of the users on this site are literary ignoramuses who couldn't tell a good story from a 5-year-old's spelling booklet. I no longer care about the bad things that get into the Feature Box, because I know that the most of the opinions of the people on this site don't matter.
There are people on this site who understand literature, who actively seek it out and write it. I write for those people. If I interest the masses, fine, but they're no longer my audience. I've come to understand that they never were.
Does that make me an arrogant elitist? Perhaps. But I try to balance it out by providing constructive criticism everywhere I go so that more people can join that club.
I am. Nothing in the porn box shocks me anymore. I've been on the internet too long.
I am of the jaded variety of the people of which you speak
I think
I don't even know anymore
I joined the site two years ago, and I could say that I was at least a little naive about things. I normally didn't concern myself with the greater affairs of the site; I was in my own little world as I wrote, separated from the dreaded clop and gore. I rarely read fics, unless people suggested particularly good ones to me, or I got overtly curious. My standards are certainly a lot higher than they used to be, for sure. And my old writing is... eh. We all have that "noob" phase, don't we?
As for the question, yes, I believe I have matured as well. I'm a lot more weathered to the piles of ceiling-high dung that this site produces, because a lot of the time now, I go digging around it intentionally. It's not exactly glamorous, but there's a certain intrigue and pleasure in sifting through the trash. I find the odd story that turns out to be surprisingly good, but more often than not I am greeted by terrors of literacy that assaults the mind's eye. But I just push on through it anyway. I mean, if nothing else, it's always good to have a laugh at it. I mean, why let it get to me?
You are preaching to the choir here, Bob.
The reason that there's nothing but the same old crap in the feature box is the same reason there's nothing but the same old crap at the box office - it's capitalism at its best and worst. Yes, by having the exposure of media based on its popularity you make it so that the poorly made things fizzle out (in theory). However, you have it so that the same shit always shows up. I've seen quite a few unique things on FimFic, and they all have less than 2,000 views.
Maybe getting rid of the feature box is the only thing the mobile version did right (may it burn in hell, damnari in sempiternum, amen)
I agree, it's fucking absurd, one of the most followed users on this site has nothing but clop fics that get featured all the time, but has, and might I say, one of the funniest names I've ever seen "Tittysparkles"
I really wish people would express more dislike for these HAV/anthro boobs/shitty crossover/what have you fics. Then nobody would make them and no one would have to get mad about stories where talking ponies aren't even talking ponies anymore.
Also I like your newer stuff, Bob ;-;
My first story was a Scootadash fic... Needless to say, I look back at it now, it had been my most popular stories for a while, and honesty, it was bad. Really bad. I've gotten pretty picky about some of the stuff I read. However, when it comes to writing, I used to write to try and get likes.
Now I just write because I want to. I don't care about that anymore because once you hit the top, what do you do? Instead of writing a story and worrying if it will be taken well, I just write what I want to.
One thing I have noticed is that I've been writing more comedies then I had when I started.
Over two years on the site now, and I must admit that, excepting very few fics, I generally keep Mature off. I just not really into clop. The few mature fics I do read are generally things along the Lines of, say, FOE. I find that there are plenty of perfectly enjoyable fics that make the featured box with, at most, a teen rating.
I've grown so tired of all the garbage that gets featured to the point that I don't even look at that accursed box anymore.
I'd love to see you promote more good stories yourself, RainbowBob-sama.
This site has made me even weirder, funnier, and sarcastic.
(Read what I sent to Noble, if you read this comment, Bob.)
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I sort of think the same way he does. Except for the clop.
This site has changed. Maybe it was the story reviewers. Maybe it was the moderators. Hell, maybe it was the writers themselves! But these days, you simply can't find a mature story that's super cereal and super good.
Or they've went down the toilet.
Diary of A Madman
It's a problem that's on every site, but gets more attention here because of the featured box. Like you said, occasionally, there's something good, but more often than not, I have to avoid the box and look through specific groups or authors' fav lists.
As for the remark on your own writing, there's some stuff that I enjoyed, some stuff I passed on. I particularly enjoyed your one shot about Spike being a baby dragon forever because he decides to shun greed. It was touching. But my taste, someone else may enjoy some of your clop more than that. To each their own, and all that stuff.
It's the roughest part of the ponyless eras between seasons.
I guarantee you there are going to be Equestria Girl fics being shat out left, right, center, and backwards when EqG: Rainbow Rocks hits. Probably three way lesbian sex between the new antagonists or something for the mature crowd, with sappy redemption fics of the same trio for the rest.
And here I am, writing about Cheerilee as a goddamn pegasus because I thought the idea was funny and I got a sign from the toy gods that pegasus Cheerilee must be a thing that exists by my hand and my hand alone.
These are dark times indeed.
Also I see what you are all clamoring for. I don't remember enough of Boast Busters to even paraphrase Rarity's pretakingon Trixie line, but imagine I said it.
A Rainbow Raises Scootaloo fic that's different ho!
Looking for originality on Fimfiction is like trying to find water on the sun's surface, Bobby.
I tend to forget the Feature Box exists since it got moved to the home page. I use John Perry as a yardstick now.
I may become jaded if you don't update Just Joking soon. Please save me from this RainbowBob, you are my only hope.
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I agree with this statement.
As for the feature box, all it ever did for me after I started writing is make me shake my head in disappointment of fimfiction's general... interests. Too many people try far too desperately to escape into ponies in ways that aren't healthy.
Okay, you asked.
1) I guess you could call me jaded. I will not read A) Short stories, unless complete, B) Stories that haven't updated beyond chapter ten in over a year, save Mort Takes a Holiday, C) stories with obvious spelling/grammatical errors in the title/description, D) ANYTHING My Little Dashie related, E) Tragedies, F) HiE fics that do not seem any different, or G) 99.9% of the little Ponies Only fics, due to, well, terrible quality, terrible writing, and/or unoriginal premise. Oh, almost forgot, OC+Main romances that do not span beyond fifteen chapters!
Rainbow Raises Scootaloo... Never read a single one. Don't plan to.
Changed by this site... Well, I got back into writing, does that count? Seriously, though, this site has pretty much just given me something to do. It hasn't changed me... Yet...
PINKIE!
I came to this site pre-jaded. I have been jaded so long now, veins of metamorphic silicate minerals have formed in my very flesh.
With regards to the feature box, what I am is largely disappointed; which is in many ways worse than jaded.
I'm absolutely jaded. Call me a cranky, 22-year-old man, but the feature box isn't very reliable right now. I mean, it's not even good clop on there anymore, just stuff with blatant trigger warnings and all kinds of messed up things.
Call me a hypocrite, because I write clop, but at least I try to put a story behind it.
Maybe that's why I haven't written anything in a while...
I've been writing bad fanfiction and watching other people write bad fanfiction for going on three decades now (yes, those of you with long memories and calculators: that means it was going on before most people even knew what the internet was). Pony hasn't shown me anything I haven't seen before in some dark dank corner of 4chan or the old RP cybersex chatrooms of AOL.
I think maybe I've gone past the 'jaded' stage and have worked my way into the 'oh well, at least someone's having fun' stage... I'm not even sure that's a stage, now that I think about it...
Coincidentally, that story caught my eye as well. Hate sex is all well and good but MY GOD is it hella awkward after,
Honestly, I just got done reading this ol' beaut, and I recently had a similar thought process about what this site loves to read and push to the feature box.
I wish stuff like that would pop up more often. I wish this site could give me a lot more good stories to read with world-building, complex characters, and unique, interesting plots. And I wish I could be a good enough writer to write that kind of story, too.
But this is a fanfiction site. Sure, there are (thousands of) people on here just getting along swimmingly writing futa foalcon tentacle monster-trucks <insert fetish here> smut, but there are also the people who are genuinely trying. They who try to be the best they can, and are just using this site as a tool to teach themselves to be better writers.
It's just too bad those kinds of people seem scarce.
Compassionate? Charming? Classy? Celibate? Chill?
I turned the mature filter off about a week after I got into the site. Yeah, I saw all the clop and whatnot, I was shocked after a while and then got numb to it all. There was a time in my early teens when I grabbed every bit of hentai I could get. Weekends were spent in a sleepover with buddies, marathoning every episode of La Blue Girl ever. By the end of high school, all I had for that material was contempt. After a while, you just get so tired of it all.
The mature filter is weird. It's supposed to block all the mature content. If you turn it off, however, you're flooded with some of the most immature swill you'll ever read.
Yeah, few days ago 90% of the featured box was clop.
I'm not against clop, I just think it should never get more than 50% of the featured box/popular box. Ideal would be two or three slots reserved to clop, the rest can be mature but not just sex and juices sprayed everywhere. There should be a 'clop' tag for stories that focus on smut.
I can't be bothered to care about that stuff anymore. :\ though it would be nice for decent/great fanfics to appear in the featured box more often. c:
League of Humans Acting Villainous..plz die. :c
Yeah, I'm probably jaded. I mean, maybe a third of so of my RL list got cleared by way of me saying, "Y'know what? This is crap. I'm not gonna read it anymore." There was also some percentage that I dropped just because it looked like I might have that reaction.
I may be more bitter than jaded though. It took me so. freaking. long. to reach 1k views on a story, yet I see first-time authors writing some uninspired crap and getting featured. I don't even look at the feature box anymore, except to take note of how many clop stories are there. I'm actually impressed at this point. There have been--what?--15 or so stories this week? Granted, it looks like it was a productive week for TittySparkles (who's nearly an insta-feature), but this week's feature box covered basically every major fetish.
I have matured to some extent, at least. I don't worry about follower count anymore. I just enjoy it whenever I get a new one. Now I'm closing in on 100, a number that felt so far away two months ago. So I'm not entirely bitter, I guess.
P.S. I'd like to see your reviews. They'll probably be pretty entertaining.
Welcome to fimfiction 2.0
Jaded? Yes.
I've been writing original (at least, I like to pretend they're original) stories for about a year now. The only feature I've had was the spinoff fic I did of a relatively popular if unoriginal story. Seeing the kind of shit that gets popular on this site makes me cynical.
"Why bother?" I think to myself, "I've got the stories all finished in my head. I can enjoy them all by myself. Nobody will read them even if I do publish them."
The only story I ever feel like writing for is the one that ran away from me. Not even I know how that one's going to end.
PROTIP: If you want a story with at least 1000 views, write clop.
PROTIP: Don't use FIMfic mobile. Use normal FIMfic on your mobile. I for one have always used the desktop version on my iPad and it has never fucked up.